MyungSoo

My brother has always been there for me. Even when he was sixteen and supposed to be out partying with his friends, he’d be home with me, caring for me. My parents were always away, either for a business trip or other work related things. Although I was young, I understood that what they did and the reasons they were away were because they just wanted to give us a good life. They wanted to give us a good social ranking and I grew up thinking that that was what life was all about.

Three years later when I turned sixteen, I became everything my brother should have been at this age. I drank; I partied; and I dated every girl I met. My mind was set at the ridiculous thought that if I did this, my brother would be happy, proud.  I was impeccably wrong.

My brother always told me that I did not have to do such things in order to fit in. He called me in my face a disappointment. Days began to pass by when I didn’t see my brother and when I did, all he would tell me is that I’m ruining my life. I was a fool to think that I was still doing those things for him. In reality, I was doing it for myself. I enjoyed going out to clubs and I loved the feeling of being drunk and numb. Even after all of his pleading, I didn’t stop. But one day, I just stopped seeing him altogether.

When I questioned my parents of his whereabouts, all I received were looks of disgust and dismissals. After one month of searching for my brother, I gave up. Two years passed by just like that. I lived my life alone and I missed my brother. I began to blame myself for his disappearance, thinking that it was my own fault that he left. Surely my brother didn’t wasn’t to be around someone like me.

On the day of my high school graduation, no one familiar was in the audience. Only when I crossed the stage did I notice the only person who came out to cheer me on: My brother. After that day, I began to despise my parents. It didn’t matter that they had to work; our family had enough money to have them take some days off of work. Now my brother and I are closer than ever, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. But, even after all of these years, I still don’t know why he ever even left in the first place.

Today I get to see my brother. It’s been months since I’ve seen him so I’m excited. He told me he was bringing along someone that I could meet. As I’m driving toward our meeting location, I speed past a stop light going at full speed. This morning the teachers are in a meeting so I called my brother and told him we could have a quick meeting. He’ll stay at my apartment while I’m at school.

When I reach the small restaurant at which we will meet, I step outside and wait next to my black car for him. During my wait, three students arrive, one of them never taking his eyes off of me. Uncomfortable, I stare down at my phone. All of a sudden, I hear a voice shouting at someone. Not just anyone; me.

“Yah!” The voice shouts, “You have to apologize!”

I glance up and am immediately faced with a very feminine looking boy. The only reason I know it’s a guy is because he wears a male uniform from our school and he has a flat chest. He stares at me expectantly, waiting for an apology that won’t come. Even though I don’t know what I did wrong, I smile. It’s been a while since I’d last been yelled at so it feels oddly good, comforting.

When I ask him whether or not he goes to Seoul University, he curses at me. It is very obvious he has next to no clue who I am. And then I begin to wonder if I am being forgotten; that would be terrible.

Buzz Buzz

My phone vibrates in my hand and I see my brother’s name flash on the screen. A message can either mean two things: he’s lost, or he isn’t coming; most likely the latter because he knows this city like the back of his hand. Sighing, I turn back to the guy in front of me and ruffle up my hair in frustration. I can’t show that I’m bothered. The boy starts to demand an apology – to which I still don’t know the reason behind, if I might add – and this time he seems angrier. In a sudden, a very larger hand is covering his mouth and he is being pulled back.

“Sorry, Myungsoo.” His friend, who I am guessing he is, speaks, “He didn’t sleep well last night.”

I smirk as they are walking away. Huh, guess I’m not totally forgotten. As fast as I can, I get into my car and drive away. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t text and drive because as soon as I make a stop, I open his message.

Sorry, Myunsoo-ah, hyung can’t make it today. How about next weekend?

Instead of driving towards the university, I drive home. School, all of a sudden, doesn’t seem like a great way to spend my day. When I get home, I turn on the stereo and put it on full blast. A random song comes on and I find it relaxing. Time is what it is called, by some guy named Nam WooHyun. I make a mental note to download it later before closing my eyes and falling asleep on my couch.

When I open my eyes, I notice three things immediately: the smell of fresh food, the sound of rustling feet in my kitchen, and the continuous sounds of laughter and talking. One of the voices I can easily pinpoint as my brother’s but the other one’s must be his friend’s. Smiling, I stand up and rush into the small room.

“Hyung!” I shout like an eight year old. “I thought you weren’t coming over.”

Sunggyu smiles, his eyes disappearing, and says, “Surprise?”

I laugh and walk over to him, hugging him. Sometimes I feel as though I am too attached to him and I feel like a burden. There has been many times where I wonder whether or not I should just treat him as my brother but he is the closest thing I have to a parent figure. He was the one that taught me how to tie my shoes; how to color inside of the lines in the picture of a coloring book; and how to play ball, even if it was a big fail. Sometimes, I want to let go, but I am far too selfish.

Sunggyu pulls back and walks toward his friend. His friend is slightly shorter and the first thing I notice about him is his perfect nose. I have always considered my nose my best facial feature but this guy’s is definitely one to envy. He smiles at me and holds out his hand. I smile and shake it politely, bowing slightly.

“Myungsoo-ah,” My brother voices, “This is Woohyun, a very close friend of hyung’s.”

Woohyun stares at my brother, a hint of disappointment evident in his eyes but his smile never falters. Sunggyu doesn’t notice, or pretends he doesn’t. Most likely the latter, considering how he tries so hard to avoid eye contact.

With Woohyun here, my brother seems different. Although I cannot quite make out exactly what, I do notice that he seems more alive with him here. Now, when he laughs, they are real bursts of excitement and his smiles are wider. His eyes seem almost nonexistent most of the time. On their way out, Woohyun slings his arm around my brother, but Sunggyu quickly moves away with the excuse that he’ll hug me goodbye, which he’d already done before.

As they are about to leave, the voice of someone calling out my name rings out in the hallway and the tension that builds up is almost visible. Sunggyu remains stiff, as does Woohyun, and he doesn’t even breathe when my mother passes by him. She walks in front of me and her back is now facing Sunggyu. To her, it is as if he is not even here; as if he has somehow become a ghost in front of her. Before I say anything, my brother gives me a look that says he’s okay and he leaves. I stare as he and Woohyun walk away until I can see them no more. I know, sadly, that this is the last time I’ll see him for the next couple of months to come.

My mother, still not acknowledging that Sunggyu was ever here, questions me of my absence from school but I don’t reply. Being an oblivious person, she fails to notice my silence. My eyes follow her as she enters my home and I am still hoping that she’ll at least mention him. She doesn’t.

“Mom,” I say, interrupting her from whatever she was in the middle of saying, “Why are you like this?”

She turns to me and her face is serious. “Were those friends of yours?”

Before I can reply, her phone rings and she quickly answers. With her phone to her ear, she leaves, not even bothering to say goodbye. It’s always like this. Everyone only comes every few months and then leaves. I should be used to this, I repeat to myself. And I am.

Only this time, the silence that follows is nearly deafening. 

A/N: And here is yet another chapter~ I was going to update on MyungSoo's birthday but things got caught up and... Sorry~!! Toheart's album is one I cannot stop listeneing to! "Tell Me Why" is my far my favorite. Anyway, yeah. Till next time, lovely readers!! <3

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Also, I am in search of a new poster for the story. Does anyone have any recommendations about where I could get one? Thanks~