“You are going to university here, am I correct?” Yunho asked, stirring his tall Americano. “How has your life been?”

“I don’t know, really,” I said truthfully. “I’m an average guy, so there is not that much about me that is totally interesting. Most of the time I just go with the flow.”

“Oh, there must be some interesting. Everybody has their colorful moments.”

I smiled. “Okay, then. What do you want to know?”

“What did you do once you went back home?” Yunho inquired casually.

“I went out with friends,” I replied.

“And how did you find your reunion?”

“They changed a lot,” I whispered.

“How so?”

“They all seem so different, that’s all. Most of them are in seriously relationships and some are ruining their lives.”

“Ruining their lives?” he raised his eyebrow. “How?”

“Drugs, alcohol, and ion,” I answered meekly.

“And how did you feel about that?”

“It made me feel really appreciative about my life. At least I am in a university and have a chance to find a steady occupation in the modern society.”

Yunho smiled and nodded. “You are getting better at talking.”

“Thank you.”

“And you have become more handsome,” he said with twinkling eyes. “Much unlike the scrawny little boy I met four years ago.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said, blushing self-consciously.

“Call me Yunho,” he rolled his eyes. “Now, ask me questions.”

I froze. “Uh, what should I ask you?”

My ex-professor laughed. “That’s for you to decide. Use your curiosity.”

“Okay then,” I accepted his challenge, smirking. “How old are you now?”

“Guess.”

I growled. “When will you ever answer me directly?”

Yunho laughed. “I always try my best to answer you directly.”

“No, you don’t!”

“Next question,” he waved me off.

“I’m not letting you go that easily,” I said through clenched teeth. “Just tell me how old you are. Please. You always seem to avoid the question like you are doing now.”

My professor sighed. “Why do you want to know?”

“Curiosity,” I rolled my eyes.

“Then answer me this: why did you leave the conservatory without telling me?”

The hairs at the back of my neck stood up. “What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean,” Yunho said gently, leaning forward a little bit.

“A-Answer my question first!” I retorted.

“Did you leave because you thought you played horribly?” he questioned.

“What are you—?”

“Or did you return home because you were homesick?” he interrupted.

“Of course I was homesick, why else would—?”

“Or is it both?”

“What do you mean—?”

“God forbid, is it because—”

“Professor!” I bellowed a little bit too loudly. “I left because I left. Stop using your lawyer skills on me!”

“For the last time, my name is Yunho, not Professor or Sir or Mister,” he sighed. “And I just want to know why you left.”

“Well,” I snapped, “I just want to know how old you are!”

“I’m turning sixty this year,” he responded immediately.

I sat there in my chair, speechless. “Was it really that hard to tell me?”

Yunho nodded.

“But why? Why did you want to keep this a secret?”

“Audiences love young musicians.”

It took me a moment to understand what he meant: he was unsatisfied with how old he was in terms of his career. He had this nagging voice at the back of his head that told him not to reveal his age so as to maintain his job and status. It was an eye-opening moment for me, because I realized that even Yunho had his insecurities. Everybody had their insecurities.

“Oh,” I nodded sympathetically. “I see.”

“I already answered your question. It’s my turn. Now, why did you leave?”

‘This is it,’ I thought. ‘Remember the deal.’ “Do you remember that day on the plane? When we were flying to Belgium together?”

Yunho nodded. “You told me of the time you bought your mother a birthday present.”

“That’s it. Do you remember what else I told you?”

The brown-haired man in front of me creased his forehead. “You told me that you loved somebody. Another male, if I remember correctly.”

I nodded, biting my lower lip. “Did you figure out who this ‘other male’ was?”

“I narrowed it down to three people.”

“Who?”

“One, Yoochun.”

Strike one. I grimaced. “Why?”

“Because you are just like him,” he explained. “Well, before he adapted to conservatory life. I thought that you would fall for him because of his similarity to you.”

“No,” I said. “Next?”

“Junsu.”

Strike two. I rolled my eyes. “He’s like a brother to me, nothing more, nothing less.”

“Well, you two were quite close before. You always smiled when you were with him.”

“I like people who are willing to lend me help when I need it,” I clarified.

He chuckled. “Lastly, Changmin.”

Strike three and you’re out. “Didn’t I already tell you that it was not Changmin?”

Yunho smirked. “You could have easily been lying. After all, he was always talking about you during his lessons, so I thought that you two had something mutual.”

“We had a platonic relationship,” I said. “He was my best friend there.”

Yunho sighed heavily. “You didn’t tell him that you were going back home, am I right?”

I shook my head.

“No wonder he was so depressed when you did not come back from Belgium.”

I looked up. “What?”

“You didn’t know?”

“Didn’t know what?”

“I thought he told you,” Yunho frowned. “I told him to tell you.”

“Told him to tell me what?”

My ex-professor exhaled exasperatedly. “He loved you, Jaejoongie.”

My mind went blank. ‘All along, Changmin loved me? He cared about me?’ Then I recalled all of the little affectionate actions he did around me—visiting me at the practice room everyday, buying me lunch when I just couldn’t do it, sending me Get Well Soon cards when I was down with a fever, giving me advice whenever I asked, touching my hand lightly whenever he thought I was not paying attention—and slapped my forehead. “I’m such an idiot!”

Yunho sighed again. “He is fine now, I guess. As he had grown to become quite handsome, many boys are now chasing after him and it is only a matter of time before he picks one. But what you did was quite cruel, if I may say so myself.”

“I didn’t know!” I cried hysterically.

“You would have known if you had paid enough attention to him. It was blatantly obvious, like a hot dog in front of your nose.”

“Well, I wasn’t paying enough attention to him!”

“Then to whom, may I ask?”

My toes curled, and I found myself facing a dilemma. To tell or not to tell.

‘Changmin loved you,’ my guilty conscious reminded me. ‘You have been cruel enough to him, don’t you think?’

‘You only had your eyes on Yunho,’ my heart argued. ‘It is only natural for somebody else to be heartbroken; no matter what, you could not have pleased everybody. To please everybody is to hurt everybody.’

‘This is a chance to take the situation into your own hands,’ my mind continued to bicker. ‘Make the decision that would not hurt others.’

‘You loved Yunho but refrained from confessing to him,’ my heart beat repentantly. ‘Letting him leave without telling him of your true feelings would only hurt you more than you could manage.’

Then I smiled, my decision made. I looked up at a seemingly confused Yunho. “Close your eyes,” I ordered gently.

After casting me another confused look, my professor’s eyelids dropped. “Why?”

Instead of answering, I leaned forward and pecked him on his lips. Yunho jolted, eyes flying open, almost spilling his coffee. Though heartbreakingly disappointed with his negative reaction, I giggled at the sight: he looked absolutely terrified and his face spelled out the word “CONFUZZLED!”

“That’s why,” I whispered, tears coating my already glossy eyes. “I loved you, Yunho, not Changmin. I still do, in fact. Isn’t that silly?”

When my ex-professor’s eyes did not flicker away from its perplexed appearance, I sighed and stood up, deciding to save both Yunho and I some embarrassment. A large hand grasped my wrist, holding me back.

“No, it’s not silly,” he answered.

My Adam’s apple twitched and I looked at my feet, not daring to look at Yunho.

I felt myself being pulled back, my wrist twisting, back into somebody’s broad chest. I felt myself being embraced from behind. I felt myself unable to breathe when a pair of familiar lips touched mine. I felt the world stop revolving and I felt time freeze around us.

Yunho pulled back and gave me an apologetic smile.

“I don’t understand,” I whispered.

“I love you as well, Jaejoongie,” Yunho confessed.

My tongue stopped in midair, and it took me several minutes to retrieve my vocabulary. “I don’t believe you.”

“Sometimes I don’t believe myself either,” he admitted with a laugh. “I love you the same way I love my son, and I find myself able to open up to you the same way I open up to Seulgi. Truthfully, we had a very complicated relationship, and it took me some time to realize that the roles we played in this said relationship did not matter. Jaejoongie, I love you. I love you as a son; I love you as a brother; and I love you as a lover. My love for you is grandly expansive, and I am grateful to have met you.”

I digested his well-prepared confession and then smiled sadly. “It was nice seeing you again, Yunho.”

“Yes,” he agreed, “It was.”

“But you must leave now,” I stated dryly.

“Why?”

“Because if you don’t, you will not have another chance to escape me since I would lock you up in my room and never let you out of my sight,” I half joked. “I might fall too deeply in love with you to let go.”

Yunho let out a slight laugh. “Fine. I’ll call you when I get back home and I’ll send emails whenever I can.”

“No, Yunho,” I ordered sternly, my heart cracking. “We can’t contact each other anymore. It’s immoral.”

“Don’t say that, Jaejoongie,” he argued.

“You have a wife and a son to care for,” I noted, closing my eyes in fear of breaking down into tears. “They are first priority to you, not me.”

“Jaejoongie—”

“Leave!” I practically yelled. The waitresses turned their heads, but I did not give a damn.

“Fine, I will,” he consented after a few moments of silence. “Just remember that I love you. Maybe not more than I love Seulgi, but definitely not less.”

“Why do you love me anyways?” I breathed out through the lump in my throat. “I’m a rotten homoual who broke Changmin’s heart and disregarded everybody’s feelings!”

Yunho looked taken aback for a moment before answering, “Don’t say that about yourself.”

“But it’s true.”

“No, it’s not.” He pursed his lips and sighed. “And for the record, Jaejoongie, I love you because I trust you. I trust you more than I trust myself.”

After taking me into his arms and giving me one last chaste kiss, he walked out the door after paying for both of our drinks. I saw him through the glass window and our eyes locked. I could tell that he was deciding whether to run back to me or to catch his flight, and I prayed that he would choose the latter.

I almost smiled when the tuft of brown hair I have grown to love disappeared around the corner.

I walked out of the shop soon after, and headed towards the nearby beach, staring at the horizon and listening to the beat of the water. Waves crashed onto the shore and then receded in a steady balance of life. I sat down on the sand, drying my unshed tears, and wondered if what I said was right. Did I make the right choice by letting Yunho go? Was it right to tell him of my feelings?

On the sand, I spotted a little crab and picked it up, smiling at the ticklish sensation it gave me while crawling in my hand. Putting it back onto the ground, I watched it scurry away towards the water. It was met with a large rock, and I held my breath as it seemed to consider what to do. After a moment’s worth of hesitation, it turned around.

I found myself strangely at peace.

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Okay, this was a messed up chapter.
There is one chapter left until I deem this story complete!
Will they end up together?
Tune in next week to find out ^^