Lost Shadows Review

Trust The Little Bird [completed]
Author: ava_lava
Story Title : Trust
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/ava_lava2/
Reviewer: mg6991

Title: 3/5

-Your title was too simple. It can’t attract the eyes of the readers. But nevertheless, it has a connection to your plot.

Poster/Background: 10/10

-I love your poster! It’s nicely done!

Forewords: 3/5

-Your forewords were a bit long. You put only a short summary of your plot and your characters in the Forewords. But it seems that you have already given your readers a small preview.

Plot: 15/15

-I love your plot! It seems like its pretty simple at first sight, but when you read its chapters, it’s actually unique!!

Flow: 8/10

-I can’t understand your flow sometimes. The part where Jae fell in love with Yunho was a bit fast. But there were some parts in where in seems a bit rushed. You should maintain an average pace. Not too fast, not too slow.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 15/15

-You have perfect grammar! Wow! I sometimes don’t get on why you have to use ‘Yah’. But its good.

Characterization: 9/10

-You described Jae and Yunho very well. But it seems that your characterization of Junsu and Yoochun isn’t a bit good. But it’s fine, nevertheless.

Originality: 10/10

-I haven’t seen any stories like yours! Great work!

Writing style: 10/10

-I just love how you write. Keep up the good work!

Overall enjoyment: 8/10

Overall score: 91/100

-That’s pretty high!! Keep doing your best!

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Thank you, mg6991 from Lost Shadows (http://lostshadows.co.nr/), for the review! I'll keep improving, I swear!!!

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Artemis88 #1
Chapter 31: Beautiful story . Also quite inspiring and spreads hope and positivity . No matter what happens in your life , look around ,there's always another opportunity . Learn to accept failure or not doing your best as a normal part of life . Getting up ,acknowledging your situation , smiling in times of adversity , moving forward even when you're not sure where you're going is the secret of getting through life .

I also loved the little anecdotes you blended into your fic , like the one about the hermit crab . :)

Hats off !
CandyFreak #2
Chapter 31: Awesome! Amazing!
That's all I can say...@.@
jaexyong9597 #3
I read this story on winglin a few months ago, n this is one of my fave. I love all the metaphors you use here.
And I cried when I read some chapters. This isn't a tragic story but it makes my tears flow.
About the ending, I force myself to believe that Seulgi dies n Yunho comes to Jae because he realizes his feelings toward that ex-student of his. ^o^
mirokoi #4
Oh, a thing I forgot to mention. I love the vibe words give out. It wasn't exactly modern and peppy, yet not quite that old and aged feeling. If I were to describe the vibe as an image, it would be in autumn, a large tree with rustic-coloured leaves, some fluttering in the breeze on the right. On the left, would be some white steps, where a couple is embracing, the smaller in the lao of the older.The ground is littered with leaves, but patches of green grass showing. That's what I see it (:
mirokoi #5
Wow. This. Is truly a fascinating story. I read it from 8.30 until 11.30 (Now) and I really loved it. I especially loved the metaphors, the meaning, the life lessons in it. Beautifully written (Although I found a fistful of grammer mistakes. No harm though, still perfectly understandable) The ending was sweet, and I prefer to imagine Yunho still "happily" married, but still holding on to his love for Jaejoong, as Jaejoong had done. And Jaejoong would simply move on as a succesful doctor, always loving Yunho. Excuse my sappy mind.<br />
<br />
Question though. You mentioned in your earlier chapters that Jaejoong's piano teacher was called Choi Siwon, and later Heechul's boyfriend was Choi Siwon. Were they the same person? (I freaking hope not O__o) It was insignificant but it attacked my brain like a mofo. :P<br />
<br />
In any case, I love it. I'll reread it but now I have to shower as I am a wreck. Then get some sleep. Yeah.
ChiiryuJung #6
Is it end yet??? no???<br />
How unusual story you have here ^^ And I couldnt believe you just 15? God..
ChiiryuJung #7
So cute! how jae confess he in love with Professor JUng, LOL ^^<br />
How old Yunho is?<br />
I just read chp 9 tehee
Back to Top ↑