" HANA! ... DEUL!... SET!....NE- IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL A SPOONFULL JESSICA!?!"

The first camp day had been tough on most of the idols: after getting introduced to the concept they were sent to bed, only to be interrupted by a bedtime snack (Big Mac, fries and Coke)and no one was allowed to fall asleep until he or she had eaten up.

The night had been restless for almost all of the campers, some were just confused with the whole situation, others were thinking about the way the burger did go now and where he would settle during the night.

They were woken up at 9am sharp with ...a Snickers bar. Yes, the camp manager didn`t want any minute to be wasted with not-eating.

Afterwards the idols were ushered into separated booths were they were measured, weighted and presented with individual eating schedules and a goal weight that could be realistically reached after seven days.

While waiting in line the idols were taken care of by the camp manager and staff.
"This is awesome!" Taemin exclaimed happily taking the can of spray whipped cream he had just gotten and set the nozzle to his lips pressing the button until his cheeks were blown up to their fullest.

"Well, I don´t know about that..." Key was still eyeing the chicken wing in his hand. "We trained hard for those bodies."

Jonghyun nodded enthusiastically while chewing on some Camembert (cheese) that had just been shoved into his mouth.

Just then Onew came out of the booth. "Jonghyun, you´re up next!"
"And what did they say, Hyung?" Minho was beyond curious (and also slightly scared of loosing his newly built muscles).
"Well, they asked about what I usually eat and told me that I should try eating more sweets."
"I´m going to die!" Key threw his hands in the air in despair. "I don´t want to get any fats on my honey hips and what are the fa--- TEAMIN GODDAMMINT STOP FILLING YOUR MOUTH WITH WHIPPED CREAM!!"
With his eyes bulging out of their sockets Taemin stopped during his eighth time of refilling gulping heavily.

"Come on." Onew pat Key´s back slowly "you know very well he could use a few more kilo to survive during the winter months."

Smack.

"Not funny." Key simply turned his back on the leader waiting silently for his turn.


Needless to say: when Key finally got told how much he would have to gain he threw a fit, tried to choke the doctor with a measuring tape and was taken away by the security guards just in time before he could burn the storage room of the faculty.

Yes, what a day!
But in the end even the Girls Generation and Kara members silently faced the facts and were listlessly taking spoon fulls of Nutella.

After Key had been discharged from his silent (highly observed) corner Jooni accompanied him back to his SHINee members.

"Hellouuu ewribady!" he slurred towards Taemin and Jonghyun on the floor waving his hand.
"Woah!" Minho was awestruck "Did you drug him?"
"Well, not really... kind of....yeah?" the health scientist said. She explained his unwillingness to play nicely and told them that there was only one way to get some calories into his tummy: alcohol (yes, one of the most underestimated fattening traps).
"So we basically filled him up with Bailey´s." And with that she already disappeared again.

So Key´s alcohol level was kept a constant niveau and the other idols became surprisingly pliant after the first day.
Really! It felt like some of them just rediscovered HOW good it actually felt to eat properly.
They were eating almost all the time but also made sure that the additional fat would find a nice place to stay by doing lots of sports and games:
from doing sit-ups (where you had to take a bite of a chocolate pie every time you pushed yourself up) to hide and seek (where you were equipped with bags of potato chips that you had to eat as long as it took to be found).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Man! I think I ate at least three cows during the last five days!" Taemin was smiling contentedly while showing another piece of steak into his mouth.
"I know what you mean! I think I ate a whole chicken farm." Onew was jokingly playing with the elastic band of his training pants (yes, everyone in the camp wore elasticated pants size L ).
Key playfully hit Jinki´s arm giggling like a school girl "Yeobo, don´t do that! It will go baggy!"
"You know, I kind of like him in a slightly drunken state!" Jonghyun was already refilling Key´s half empty glass with eggnog.

Minho currently was in the silent corner with Krystal since both had set out on a mission to find salad in the storage room and had then decided to go search the meadow behind the house for edible green plants.

"If only you had put bacon around it ...." They were both rewarded with a disappointed look of Jooni and now they had to finish up a whole family-sized bolognese pizza with cheese crust.

Yes, the fat camp was like a roller coaster ride for everyone but in the end the camp manager was quite happy with the idols.


DAY SEVEN

"Ladies and Gentlemen,"
Everyone had assemble in the dining hall for a last get together before being released into each groups hectic schedule again.
"... I just wanted to say thanks for your cooperation an--"
"CHEERS!" Key yelled from the back of the room raising his glass of punchbowl. (Oh, the boy would have a lot of fun sobering up in the following days.)
"... THANKS, Key! Now where was I..?" Jooni was looking around a bit helpless before it clicked: "YES, thank you for your more or less willing cooperation!" This time you Kibum only raised his glass as Onew and Jonghyun were holding him down and covering his mouth.
"The show isn´t only the most successful program on Korean television BUT it helped all of you to get a better idea of living. So hopefully you will take some of the health advices you learned here and apply them to your hectic lives!"

At this point everybody clapped and they raised their glasses on the manager.

"Thank you all! And now for the most interesting part! As a close up we will now weight you all for the last time and see if you reached our set kilogram goal. The person who is closest to his or her ideal weight will be rewarded with a year´s supply of the best meat assortment of the world: Japanese Kobe beef, German Bratwurst, French poulet (chicken), Canadian salmon, Tibetan bison meat, Turkish mutton, New Zealand pork and Italian Salami."
The idols were in awe. They all had turned into meat gourmets more or less during the last week and this assortment clearly appealed to all of them.

So the weighting was more thrilling and mind-boggling as a Dan Brown thriller!!
But in the end...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Hyung, did I ever tell you how much I love you?!?" Taemin was sitting in the dorm kitchen with a sausage in his hand smiling admiringly at Key.
"I mean I managed to gain almost 6 kilos but you?"
"Yes, our Kibummie is the best!" Onew was throwing his hand in the air.
Right after their arrival they had started cooking some of the meat Key won with his amazing alcohol diet.
"Ain´t I fabulous?" Key laughed to himself smiling drunkenly at each of the other members.
They spend the night talking, laughing and eating until Kibum started squirming on his chair.
"Guys,... I think I´m gonna be sick."
And with that he threw up on the table making it impossible for the members to eat for a whole week (minus Onew).

(15.9.2010)

A/N Sorry for the wait...but really I had to stop multiple times while writing because...I could practically SMELL all the food! :/

the hardest chapter ever, I tell you!

ALSO! If any Korean channel is ever going to film "Idol Fat Camp" I want MY share too! XXD

This idea is officially MINE, mine, mine!!