“Is it too hot for you?” Luhan’s voice broke Xiumin from his thoughts and he looked up from behind the cup of coffee with his ice blue eyes, staring back at Luhan with glee. He lightly shook his head before taking another sip of the hot liquor.

“It’s very delicious” Xiumin’s voice was gentle, something Luhan had noticed it always was when the boy began to use it more and more. Luhan didn’t have so many one-sided conversations anymore compared to the two first weeks with Xiumin. He began to feel like there was hope again for the boy and his own mood had lifted along with the corners of his mouth.

Luhan had finally convinced Xiumin into going out as they still needed to buy some clothes for the smaller. Xiumin was reluctant at first, but Luhan had begun to know little by little what buttons he had to push to make the other agree, though he barely used that knowledge unless if it was necessary. He ended up by regretting his decision when Xiumin disappeared from his side as they were walking the semi crowded hallways of the shopping mall. Luhan had never panicked so much before as he did in that moment, a horrid feeling settling in his gut and his face twisting in concern. He kept on calling Xiumin’s name, ignoring the people that looked weirdly at him from the side lines. He tiptoed while half running to be able to see over people’s heads as best as he could.

Xiumin had drifted of, allured by a smell he found too good to be left unexplored. The smell had lead him to a small shop where people could be seen seated at tables, drinking what Xiumin assumed was where the smell came from. He got pulled out from his trance when a hand yanked at his arm to turn him around. Luhan looked as frustrated as he felt and it made Xiumin want to scramble away from him, but the grip on his upper arm didn’t let him move.

“Don’t-“ Luhan gulped down his nerves and looked Xiumin straight in the eyes with a hard look “don’t ever do that again,” he was slightly panting and Xiumin lowered his head in shame when he felt a pang of uncomfortableness seep in. He just wanted to find out what the smell was, but again his curiosity had leaded him away from the rules.

“I was so worried” Luhan pulled the smaller into a hug, squishing Xiumin and showing him just how frustrated he had been and Xiumin in return clutched at the back of Luhan’s shirt. They looked like a couple whom hadn’t seen each other for years and again Luhan had to ignore the stares people gave them while Xiumin was being oblivious of the eyes traveling in their direction.

Luhan had then pulled Xiumin into the coffee shop when the smaller showed sign of interest with his googling eyes not leaving the barista’s work behind the counter. Luhan made Xiumin find a table while he ordered for them both and Xiumin found a place by the corner, a cozy place away from curious gazes.

Luhan kept watching the smaller enjoy the hot liquor running down and warming his stomach, forgetting that his own drink would get cold if he didn’t consume it soon. He didn’t notice the smile spreading on his own face, but he defiantly noticed the happy expression Xiumin had. He agreed with himself that he liked this version of Xiumin much better than the version that hides under the covers and away from the world. In the end, Luhan’s coffee turned cold without him acknowledging it before the bitter taste hid his taste buds and he scrunched up his nose in distaste, quickly placing the cup down on the table again and consuming a straw of sugar to erase the taste.

They shopped the last necessities before heading back home with arms filled with bags containing Xiumin’s new properties. Xiumin was exhausted but didn’t complain about the day’s happenings. He just slumped down on his bed when they got home, not forgetting to thank Luhan and give him a small hug in gratitude.

A shattering noise woke Luhan up, instantly sitting up with an expression screaming ‘zombie’. He could hardly open his eyes and had to fight of the urge to just lie down and continue with his dream, but knew that he had to find out what happened, and so unwillingly swung his legs over the side of his bed. He left the warmth of his covers and felt shivers invade his body as goose bumps appeared on his exposed arms. Before he reached the door leading out of his bedroom, he heard a small hiss of pain, caught with his keen ears in the direction of the kitchen. He ran down the hallway, turning into a glide when the kitchen entrance came into view and cursed lowly when he glided too far, almost tripping over his own feet and nearly losing a slipper as he clumsily reversed his way back to the entrance. Xiumin looked at a panting Luhan with wide eyes from his crouching position, a finger in his mouth and glass shards surrounding him.

“Xiumin don’t move okay?” Luhan said with a hint of panic hidden in his voice at the same time he eyes the transparent pieces scattered around Xiumin’s bare feet. He carefully made his way over to the smaller and guides Xiumin’s arms around his neck, ignoring the look of confusion he gets and places his hands under the other’s thighs to lift him up and wrap them around his hips. Xiumin yelps and clings onto Luhan as he is being carried out of the kitchen and into the living room. He gets a pointing finger in a warning not to move after he has been placed down on the couch and he doesn’t dare to do so, just sitting as still as he can. He hears shuffling from the kitchen and glass scraping over the flooring, feeling guilty when he realizes that Luhan is cleaning up after him. Five minutes pass and Luhan comes back to join Xiumin on the couch with a band aid in his right hand.

“Let me see” Luhan said and took the boys bleeding finger out of his mouth to eye the cut that he deemed luckily not too deep but bleeds angrily from the open wound. He put the finger in his mouth to stop the blood from gathering a drop of dark red at the surface. When he took the finger out, he blew some air carefully on the finger to make it less wet so the band aid wouldn’t glide off; all the while Xiumin just stared at him with big wide eyes not daring to comment.

“All fixed” Luhan said and showed Xiumin his masterpiece proudly. Xiumin blinked a couple of times and adjusted his sight to the treated finger. He then avoided his eyes to his toes that started to curl nervously. Xiumin didn’t know what to say or do, the atmosphere seeming a little too awkward for his comfy zone. Luhan on the other hand eyed the smaller with an unreadable expression.

“What happened?” Luhan tried to make eye contact with Xiumin and succeeded after resting a hand on the smaller’s cheek.  Xiumin didn’t reply immediately and kept on closing his mouth whenever he tried to find words. 

“I’m sorry… I zoned out and didn’t notice the glass slip from my grab” Xiumin answered honestly but Luhan still felt that he kept something hidden.

“We should go to bed… It’s still late” Luhan reasoned, got up and turned around to go back to his now cold sheets but stopped immediately when he felt a small hand hold him back by a clutch on his shirt. Luhan turned his head so he could look at Xiumin and he saw the troubled features of the smaller. Luhan then turned so his whole body faced Xiumin’s and the other’s hand fell to its owner’s side. He almost didn’t hear the small ‘sorry’ that left the others mouth but he defiantly saw the tears in Xiumin’s eyes as the smaller made his way past him. Luhan acted quickly and caught Xiumin in a back hug. He could feel the smaller start to tremble so he turned Xiumin around to hug him from upfront. Luhan raised a hand to Xiumin’s hair, trying to calm down the other and let soothing hums out in the air. He didn’t know for how long they stood there wrapped in the apartment’s silence, only the clock hanging on the wall could be heard ticking and announcing every passing second. Xiumin began to get drowsy and his legs turned into jelly, almost refusing to hold up his weight. Luhan sensing this started to walk forward, forcing Xiumin to walk backwards. The other didn’t think of much and just blindly followed Luhan’s lead, until he felt the end of something soft hit behind his knees before he gently fell down on his bed with Luhan supporting him. Xiumin curled into Luhan in an attempt at escaping the world and Luhan in return tightened his embrace around the smaller.

“Everything is going to be okay” Luhan soothed Xiumin, his one hand tracing small circles on the other’s back. The smaller slowly drifted off to sleep with the feeling of safety enveloping his heart.

Xiumin groaned when he slowly woke up, not wanting to leave dreamland just yet. He hadn’t slept that good in a long time and he is happy to notice that his headache is gone too. He feels the effect of a needed sleep, feeling kinda drowsy and he tries to raise his hands to rub at his eyes. His movements is restrained though, and when Xiumin cracks open one eye, he sees Luhan’s sleeping face. He at that time feels puffs of breaths ghosting at his cheeks, spreading the warmth to the rest of his face. Small rays of sunshine broke through the window and onto the bed where they’re lying, also making it easier for Xiumin to count Luhan’s eyelashes when his vision is no longer blurry from sleep.

Little by little he feels the shards of his lost soul being mended and little by little he starts to feel his rapidly beating heart.

The time goes by and Luhan is yet to wake up, not that Xiumin minds as he finds himself endlessly staring at the other.  A sudden want of getting closer, beside the already lack of actual space between them, settles in and Xiumin ever so slowly tilts his head upwards. His nose slightly grazes at Luhan’s neck and he feels the warmth as well as a pulse on the tip of his cold nose. Just a bit more and his face is now completely hidden in Luhan’s comfort. Xiumin closes his eyes and listens to the other’s breathing slowly accelerate when he wakes up. Xiumin doesn’t want to move and keeps on hiding in the other’s neck, smelling the comfortable smell that radiates strongly from Luhan’s skin. Xiumin got startled when Luhan rolls over on his back, taking Xiumin with him so he lies on Luhan’s stomach. He clings onto the other’s shoulders as he doesn’t dare raise himself to question Luhan, but just enjoys the close proximity.

“Good morning” the greeting giving Xiumin goose bumps as Luhan spoke upon his ear. He could only hum a reply, voice still lost from the new position. Xiumin silently wishes that they could do this every day and he feels a gust of loneliness of the thought of his cold bed in the other room.

“This is nice” Luhan gently tightens his hold on Xiumin as he himself buries his face in the smaller’s neck. They had to eventually climb out of bed though when it got to be too hot for Xiumin in the end. Their stomachs were starting to protest against lazing around with their loud rumbling for food. They didn’t bother to get dressed and just made their way to the kitchen in pajamas. Xiumin sat himself patiently in his chair and observed Luhan while he cooked them breakfast. The aroma in the kitchen lulled Xiumin’s senses and he relax so much that he started to lean over the table with his arms as pillow for his head.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Xiumin got startled when the sound of a plate got placed on the table close to him “now eat” Xiumin frowned from the command but obeyed nonetheless. They ate in silence, the presence of each other being enough for them.

Xiumin glanced at Luhan’s happy face from time to time while eating his food to satisfy his tummy that had stopped complaining by the first bites of breakfast. He almost dropped his chopsticks though when Luhan looked up and made eye contact, wanting to so badly look away but finding that he is incapable of doing so when Luhan’s dazzling smile is given directly to him.

You know, I thought for a split second…

I wished… even hoped, that what I saw wasn't my imagination, for a little moment...

I thought that I saw colors in the corner of my eyes.

Maybe someday because of you...

All the colors that are missing will finally return. Maybe...

Someday.

Thank you Luhan…

…For your colored kindness.