Kibum and Jonghyun's relationship only goes downhill from there. Neither really know where they went wrong or when, but it's beginning to show, painfully so.

Jonghyun begins sleeping on the couch more and more until Kibum doesn't expect him in bed anymore. He leaves early and comes home late, leaving Kibum to his own devices throughout the day, which isn't giving him much. 

Kibum's schoolwork is the last thing on his mind, even when he isn't tending to Hara. His grades are lower than they had ever been, lower than Jonghyun's when he barely tried in high school. Somewhere in his mind, Kibum knows he won't graduate if it keeps up, but he doesn't find himself caring.

Kibum can't remember the last time he's heard or said I love you. When he looks at Jonghyun (those fleeting glances he gets when he's lucky, even though they live in the same apartment), there isn't the same spark. He doesn't get giddy and feel a fluttering in his chest when he looks at Jonghyun anymore. 

It hurts. 

Although, perhaps, he's just growing up. Maybe they both are.

It doesn't take long for that thought to manifest. In days, Kibum has himself basically convinced that high school sweethearts never make it, and Kibum is only another cliche with a kid to look after. It scares him actually.

He's scared of what's going to happen if they do break up. He doesn't have a source of income, and if he went back to his parents, he'd face losing Hara. He thinks Jonghyun would pay child support, but he wonders if it'd be enough to live off of.

---

It's Thursday when Kibum finds out. 

Hara turned four months old on the day Kibum finds out about Sekyung. 

Kibum remembers her from high school. She was nice enough, pretty too, and her family had more money and connections than Kibum could imagine. Still, she was real and was actually a good friend, from the gossip he heard in school. She liked Jonghyun too, and Kibum knew for a fact that the two had a little fling before Jonghyun and Kibum got together, but it never really bothered him. What Jonghyun did before Kibum was none of his concern, and Kibum wasn't really the jealous type anyway.

It's why he can't say he's surprised when he sees nudes of her on Jonghyun's laptop when he uses it. The photos are provocative beyond belief. The further he scrolls, the more he cringes. He can't believe a young (beautiful) woman like Sekyung would take such pictures.

His laptop overheated in the middle of research for a paper, and he thought it'd be innocent enough to use Jonghyun's laptop while he was at school, and it was. What he had found is what wasn't innocent.

Surprisingly, Kibum doesn't get mad. He doesn't cry. He doesn't freak out. When Hara begins whining from her car seat that's seated next to him, he picks her up out of it and wonders again what's going to happen if they break up.

Now, Kibum begins to wonder what going to happen when they separate, not if. 

Kibum closes the lid of the laptop, pictures still pulled up, and turns his attention back to Hara. He bites down onto his bottom lip to keep from crying when realization begins to dawn on him.

---

"Kibum, what's going on? Mom said you were tearing apart the bedroom and--"

Jonghyun walks into a disaster and stops dead. Kibum has the bedroom torn apart, clothes scattered throughout the room. Two bags are ped on the bed as he throws clothes into them. They're not folded, and it's uncharacteristic for Kibum to do anything sloppily.

Kibum doesn't look at Jonghyun; he can't. If he faces Jonghyun, he knows that he'll begin to cry.

"What, Jonghyun? And what?"

"What are you doing?"

"Packing." Kibum replies simply, stuffing t-shirts into the bag haphazardly.

"I see that. Why?"

"I'm leaving, Jonghyun," Kibum breathes in deeply, turning to  Jonghyun. "Leaving here, leaving you, leaving everything. Grandma is wiring me money for the first three months of rent for an apartment. That'll be enough until I can get a job and get on my feet. I'm taking Minah; everything of hers is already in the other room."

"What-- Kibum, what is wrong with you? Listen, I know everything hasn't been ideal between us recently, but you don't need to jump to anything hasty. We can make this work."

Kibum raises a hand, fingers clenching into a fist to punch Jonghyun. "I saw the pictures!" he screams as Jonghyun hits the ground at his feet. "I saw those God damn pictures of ing Sekyung on your laptop, Jonghyun! I know I'm not perfect right now, but I have a four month old. While you were too busy ing around, I was caring for her, if you didn't know."

"Kibum, I can explain! You shouldn't jump to conclusions."

"You had them saved on you'd computer, you sick motherer. You know what? No matter what people always said, I believed you were better than that. But no, Jonghyun, you're not! I was just a game for you too! Now you've moved on to something bigger and better. Get away from me, Jonghyun. I'll be out by dinner." 

"You're not just taking Hara."

"Oh, I'm not? Watch me," Kibum shoves past Jonghyun to grab more of his things. "Take me to court if you want to. Those pictures would look great in front of a judge for custody. Oh," he pauses, ripping the locket that's been hanging there for four months off his neck and whipping it at Jonghyun. "Take that. Sand it down and give it to Sekyung."

Kibum zips his bags shut and tosses them near the door before hurrying to get Hara's bag from her room. He knows he'll gave to make two trips without a car, but it's better than spending another moment in the apartment with Jonghyun.

"You'll regret this."

"Don't threaten me. You're lucky you'll still be in the same city as Hara. I could be going down to Daegu. Trust me, I thought about it, and it might still happen."

"You're making a mistake." Jonghyun speaks through gritted teeth, and Kibum does have to admit that it's menacing.

"And you already made them. Don't try to guilt me into anything, Kim Jonghyun. I've given you months to try to make this work, but all you did was run off to someone prettier. What do they call it? Hump and dump? Except you got a little more out of the deal than just a good . Well, I'm not putting Hara in that environment. I'll make it work by myself. I'll wait tables. You'll see; I'll do it."

---

The apartment Kibum ends up moving into is nothing close to glamorous. It's small and cramped, and it looks like an apartment a kid who's running away would rent. Even so, it's a roof over his head, and it's something he can afford for the time being. It's got running water and heat and, for right now, it's all that Kibum thinks he needs.

Kibum can't bring Hara's crib with him, not in the beginning. Hara spends the first few nights in her car seat before a neighbor in the apartment below him sells him a crib for a cheap price to get it out of their house. He puts the crib in his bedroom and sleeps next to Hara, for the apartment has only one tiny bedroom.

In two weeks, Kibum begins waiting tables at the smoothie shop down the block. He uses any extra money to get Hara a babysitter for when he's away, picking her up on his way home to start his schoolwork for the day. His grades fall further, but work comes first to keep a roof over his head.

The money his grandmother sends him is helpful but really, Kibum can't believe how expensive one baby could be. Formula prices only seem to get higher by the end of each week, when he's at the store looking for the mix. He realizes now how much aid he and Jonghyun had received from his parents while he was there.

Kibum doesn't hear from Jonghyun. He suspects that he's been going full time with Sekyung, but he doesn't call to confirm it. Kibum avoids Jonghyun's parents like the plague also. He feels bad for depriving them of their grandchild, but he doesn't want contact with anything that has something to do with Jonghyun. Kibum is avoiding the problem, and he knows, but he barely has time to worry about it.

By the third week of being alone, the schedule really starts affecting Kibum. His nights get shorter as his days get longer, and he seems to see Hara even less now. His schoolwork is almost completely forgotten unless a teacher emails him specific directions for an assignment that must be turned in. He knows he needs Jonghyun, but he can't force himself to admit it.

---

It doesn't take long for Kibum to find out that Sekyung and Jonghyun are officially dating. He's pretty sure Jonghyun is only in the relationship to spite him, but Kibum is too busy to even care. His heart does hurt though, especially when he saw Jonghyun out with Sekyung when Kibum was walking back to his apartment with Hara after work. Kibum makes sure to shield their faces if Jonghyun happens to look over.

Kibum thinks about Jonghyun the most at night. Hara sleeps through the night on most occasions, but the silence leaves him more time to think than sleep. He doesn't ponder memories of Jonghyun but Jonghyun himself and how much he wishes he'd be there when Kibum wakes up in the morning. It never happens though, and the pang in Kibum's heart becomes dull as the days pass.

"Eat your breakfast, Hara."

Hara throws tantrums daily now. Kibum knows that she misses Jonghyun. Even at only five months, she's aware that someone is missing in her life. He's not sure if she knows it's Jonghyun exactly, but she certainly knows someone who should be there isn't. Kibum always hopes that she'll forget about Jonghyun because he knows that her seeing him isn't something that's going to happen in the year future.

Kibum never thought depriving a child of something could be so painful.

"Hara, baby, please. Come on. I'm going to be late if you don't finish quickly, and we can't leave if you don't eat."
 
Hara abruptly hits the spoon out of Kibum's hand and screams in protest.

---

It's not long until Kibum gets his service shut off. It's sudden. One morning he went to dial his boss, and there was no dial tone. He thought he may have lost reception, but it didn't take him long to realize that, really, he no longer had service.

Kibum wouldn't think this is so bad if it didn't mean he'd lose touch with his grandmother. She was the one thing keeping him sane and now, he could only talk to her quickly after work on the payphone outside. He hates it more than anything, but there's no room in the budget for cellphone service.

Kibum begins to think he's not going to be able to do it on his own.

He ends up selling his device for some pocket change, but any profit goes to new clothes for Hara. She's hit five months and is beginning to grow like a weed. Kibum refuses to allow her to wear anything that's the least bit snug. If he can't do anything else for her, he can at least make sure that she has clothes that fit and food in her belly.

So far, he's keeping that promise.

His heart still aches when he leaves Hara with the babysitter though. He's able to tell that she only wants to be with him, even if it's just for a time longer, but he always seems to be running late, and the goodbyes are always short. He leaves nearly every day listening to her cry for him.

On his first day off in he doesn't know how long, Kibum spends the day with Hara. He told himself that he'd catch up on his work for school, but he took one look at Hara and decided that it could be put off for another time (maybe never).

Hara spends most of their day together sleeping on Kibum's chest. If she's not asleep, she's merely resting close to him to catch up on some much needed interaction. Kibum doesn't mind. Actually, he savors the time he missed with Hara. He would have never thought he'd be able to miss a baby, a person whom interaction is hard, but he does. He missed her so much. It feels right for her to be back in his arms and not in the care of a babysitter.

Kibum bites into his lip and holds onto his daughter tighter.