Nerves are high the morning of Kibum's c-section. Kibum is miserable and uncomfortable and more than ready for the experience to be over. His feet are swollen, and he refuses to put on any of his shoes, forcing Jonghyun to go out on one of the busiest shopping days before Christmas to get him slippers that he demanded he needed. Otherwise, he threatened, he wouldn't leave for the hospital.

Considerably happier (at Jonghyun's expense), he waddles down to the car in the closest spot in the parking garage. Jonghyun thinks that he does feel bad for Kibum as he follows him down with the bag. He didn't think the extra three pounds Kibum put on in the last two weeks meant much, but he can tell it caused Kibum to struggle, especially so close to the end when he could see the finish line.

Jonghyun throws the bag on the backseat and helps Kibum into the car, buckling his seatbelt. Kibum argues, but Jonghyun tells him they're not leaving until Kibum is properly strapped in, no matter how uncomfortable.

Fear sets in quickly for Kibum on the ride. Jonghyun pulls over when Kibum begins to cry next to him, doing his best to calm him in the short time frame they had. Kibum is supposed to be checked in by ten o'clock, and it's nine fifty-three, but they are only halfway to the hospital. Kibum recovers by five after ten, and they manage to make it to the hospital by ten-thirty.

The nurses have a wheelchair ready for Kibum when they arrive, squawking about the pair being late although Kibum doesn't go into surgery for another three hours.

The room they're led to is nice enough, for a hospital. Jonghyun begged his parents to find a nicer hospital with better rooms for Kibum, foreseeing the sourness of the other. He hoped a nicer room would make the entire experience more pleasant for Kibum.

The two are left alone as quickly as the commotion happens. The nurses leave a hospital gown and ask Jonghyun to have Kibum changed as soon as possible. The sooner he's dressed, the quicker they can get his epidural started and the easier the rest of the day would become.

---

"I don't like needles, Jjong..."

"I know, but here, come on, look at me," Jonghyun squats by the side of Kibum's bed, knees bumping into his as they hold hands tightly. "Focus on me and my voice, and it'll be like it's not even happening, hm? ...See? You're doing great."

Kibum lets out a small whine, eyes shutting as his brows knit together. Jonghyun straightens up slightly, and Kibum leans forward to press his forehead to his. Kibum's nails are digging into Jonghyun's palms, but he can't say he minds if it helps Kibum.

The doctor finishes the epidural quickly, and Jonghyun helps Kibum lay back on the bed again. He looks considerably less frightened as Jonghyun the dark bangs out of his eyes.

"It's uncomfortable."

"I know, babe, but soon, you'll be all numb. They said by twelve-thirty, you should be just about ready. You'll need to tell me what it's like to not feel your legs," Jonghyun smiles softly when Kibum does, hand lowering to his stomach gently. "There's a smile."

"Yeah..."

Jonghyun Kibum's cheek slowly, fixing the hospital gown sitting on his shoulder. He's in a loving mood. It's good because a few hours ago, he really thought Kibum was going to have to die by his hand.

"I'm proud of you, Bummie."

"Are you going to go in with me?"

Jonghyun pulls a chair close to the side of Kibum's bed, nodding a few times. "Of course I am. I probably won't be very helpful, but I'll be there to hold your hand and give moral support. What I do best, right? The doctor told me he'd still let me cut the cord too, even though it's a c-section. I'm pretty excited."

Jonghyun expects Kibum to protest the last part, but he doesn't. Jonghyun decides he's just a little bit out of it at the moment.

"I want to hold her when she's born, Jonghyun. I want to hold her tightly."

Jonghyun smiles again. "You'll be the first one who gets to hold her."

"I'd better be if I'm the one going through all this..."

Jonghyun chuckles. "Keep that sense of humor with you, and you'll do just fine."

---

Jonghyun doesn't like wearing the scrubs. He thinks he looks stupid with the hair net especially. If Kibum wasn't so drugged up, he'd probably be making fun of him with no mercy on a normal day. Kibum only looks at Jonghyun like he's his savior when he returns to his side in the operating room.

"Focus on me, and you'll be just fine." Jonghyun fixes the cap covering Kibum's hair with a small smile.

Kibum doesn't say anything in return but nods, head lolling to the side as he stares up at him. Jonghyun tries to keep his cool for him, even though he's excited and nervous and worried and about ready to burst at the seams.

Jonghyun watches as the nurses set up a screen just above Kibum's belly to block the view of what they're doing. Kibum lets out a little whine, but it's protocol. Jonghyun doesn't think he'd really want to see anyway.

---

The surgery doesn't take as long as Jonghyun expected. With little glances over the screen (and a few educated glances), Jonghyun assumes that they're nearly finished. He smiles down at Kibum again and relays the good news to him. Jonghyun thinks he's looking a little pale when he looks at him, and he straightens up to tell the nurse standing to his right. 

"Doctor, he's starting to lose more blood. I can't figure out from where. It's coming fast."

Jonghyun feels his heart stop.

"Sir, please come with me. You need to come out of the room for a little while."

Jonghyun doesn't have much of a choice when two nurses grab onto him and force him toward the exit. Kibum notices and calls out for him, crying, one arm straining to reach for his hand that he could plainly see leaving him. He can hear Kibum calling for him when the nurses shut the door and lock it tightly.

---

Kibum wakes slowly, looking around the hospital room tiredly. He feels weak and shaky. He feels like he's in pain though, although he still feels rather numb, but when he sees Jonghyun sitting next to him, it's all forgotten.

"Jonghyun...?"

Jonghyun smiles softly at Kibum, but worry is clear in his eyes as he watches his boyfriend. "Hi, sweetheart. You gave me a big scare there."

"What happened?"

"You starting losing blood... a lot of it. The doctor had to give you two blood transfusions... I thought I was going to lose you for a second."

"Hara is..."

"Okay. She's better than okay. She's beautiful, Kibum. Seven pounds, five ounces. She's fairly large for a girl and chubby, but God, Kibum, she's so cute."

"Is she here? Can I hold her?"

Kibum wasn't planning on asking such a question, but it seems to have just rolled off his tongue. He feels right asking for her. Hara is there's, and no one else's.

Jonghyun helps Kibum sit up slightly after rolling over a small bassinet. Kibum is still laying down, but he's angled enough now to hold her properly. Jonghyun lifts Hara out of the bassinet carefully (thankful to the nurses who showed him the proper technique) and nestles her into Kibum's arms. He moves Kibum's arms slightly so he's supporting her head properly.

"I think her skin is going to be pale like yours. She's still red, but it's lightened up a lot, and it's certainly not going to be tan like mine," Jonghyun chuckles softly when he's ignored by Kibum who's too absorbed by the baby in his arms. "You look good holding her."

"I don't think I'm going to be able to give her up, Jonghyun."

"No one's asking you to, Kibum. Actually, we've all been doing the exact opposite," Jonghyun the hair out of Kibum's eyes gently. "She's precious, you know."

Kibum watches as she latches onto his finger. "Why aren't her eyes open?"

"They will be soon. Babies don't open their eyes as soon as they're born," he explains. "My mom called and told me the crib and changing table arrived at the apartment. Can I have her tell Dad to set the crib up?"

"I-I think you should, Jonghyun. I... I know I'm not going to be able to give her to anyone else now. How did I think I could before?" Kibum brushes his finger gently across her cheek, so softly as if she'd break if he pressed too hard. "It doesn't seem real, Jonghyun. I'm actually holding her... Can you believe it, Jjong?"

"No, I can't."

Actually, Jonghyun can, but he feels the need to agree with whatever Kibum asks of him at the moment. He doesn't want him to be upset now; he just wants Kibum to be comfortable and spend much needed quality time with his new child. Jonghyun is glad the day is turning out this way, and he's not about to risk ruining it.

"Has she eaten yet?"

"Twice. She needs to eat every two hours. Her next bottle will be coming soon, and it has your name on it. You can feed her when it comes."

"I can't feed her." Kibum sighs, shifting the baby in his arms.

"She can get what she needs from a bottle. Here," Jonghyun reaches forward to unsnap the hospital gown on Kibum's shoulder so there's a patch of skin uncovered. "She likes to touch skin to stay close. Let her rest her cheek there; I bet you she'll fall right asleep."

Kibum moves her again, smiling softly before looking up at Jonghyun. Jonghyun leans down to kiss Kibum gently.

"Did you send a picture to your parents?"

"Of course I did. I brought the camera. Ta-da," Jonghyun pulls the camera out of Kibum's bag, snapping a picture of him with the baby. "Mom told me I should take lots if videos and pictures, so we can look back on the day. She basically shoved the camera down my throat."

Kibum smiles for the next picture takes. Jonghyun can see the happiness shining in his eyes when he pulls the camera away from his face. Jonghyun can't help but smile back at Kibum in return.

"Does it look good?"

"It looks perfect, babe. You look beautiful."

---

That night, the nurses ask Jonghyun to get Kibum up and moving, even if it's just standing at first. They let him know that walking now will make the recovery easier and he'll be less sore, even if it does hurt.

Jonghyun slings Kibum's arm around his neck and helps him up to his feet, letting Kibum rest most of his weight against Jonghyun. Kibum's hand moves down to his stomach to hold it slightly, right above where Jonghyun knows the stitches are. Kibum whines in protest, but Jonghyun doesn't let him sit down just yet.

"Move around a little bit. Even if it's one or two steps, it's better than sitting in bed. You don't want to get a blood clot because you're not moving."

"That doesn't make it hurt any less."

"I know. We don't have to do a lot of walking today, just a few steps. We don't even have to get far from the bed," Jonghyun takes two steps with Kibum before turning him back to face the bed. "See? That's all. We don't have to do anything else tonight. Just a little bit of moving."

Kibum sits back down on the bed, touching his stomach. "Instant weight loss at its finest, huh? I'm nothing what I was this morning."

"You're not as round," Jonghyun chuckles, taking a seat next to him. "You look a little more proportional now. You'll probably drop the weight fast. You aren't someone who needs to work hard to lose weight."

"I can't wait until I can see my toes again. I hope you're right though. I just want to be skinny again. These past few months weren't very fun."

"You didn't look like you were having too much fun," Jonghyun lifts a hand up to Kibum's hair. "I bet you'll be back to your old self in no time. I bet you'll even miss your little baby belly."

"Big baby belly," Kibum corrects, smiling. "Are your parents going to come by to see her?"

"They'll probably stop in in the morning to meet her, but I don't think they'll stay too long. They don't want to impose on us, that's what Mom said. Whether you're sixteen or twenty-six, you should be alone with your first born, that's what she told me. Do... do you think you're going to call your parents?"

Kibum takes a moment to think but nods slowly. "I think so. If they don't want to come, that's their problem, but I feel like I should at least invite them. They are the grandparents... whether they want to be or not," he sighs. "But I'll do the mature thing and call them."