"Jonghyun, will you rub my feet?" Kibum plops himself down onto the mattress next to Jonghyun, scattering papers off the top of the laptop Kibum.

Jonghyun frowns, trying to catch them all before they flutter off the edge of the bed. He doesn't move fast enough, and he knows Kibum can't bend over far enough to pick them up himself if he can't even tie his own sneakers or put on his socks.

"I know this will come as a surprise to you, but your feet aren't my top priority, Kibum. I need to finish these college admission papers before we go. Aren't you supposed to be finishing packing for Daegu?"

Kibum finds himself pouting. "Well... yeah, but I'm almost done. I needed a break... Are you almost done?"

"No," Jonghyun hangs off the edge of the bed to pick up the papers, careful not to crumple any. "Go away so I can finish. You're a big boy; I know you can entertain yourself for a little while."

Kibum frowns more as he stands, using Jonghyun's shoulder to push himself up. He decides not to say anything else to Jonghyun because he knows it'll end up in a fight. He really didn't have the energy to fight today. All he wanted was a no-drama three-day weekend vacation down in his hometown with his grandmother so he could relax for a little while before he began thinking about next school year, which was creeping up sooner than he liked.

"Are you using the laptop? Can I at least take the laptop so I can sign up for school next year? It begins in two weeks, and I need to get my name in."

Jonghyun takes a moment to exit out of the screen he had open before he closed the lid and handed it over to Kibum. "Bring it back when you're finished."

Kibum contemplates risking the laptop to hit Jonghyun over the head with it, but he ultimately decides against it.

Kibum is only downstairs for no more than twenty minutes when Jonghyun joins him, sitting at the end of the couch by his feet. Kibum doesn't look up, not until Jonghyun lifts one of Kibum's feet into his lap and begins to rub it gently.

"I'm almost finished upstairs," he murmurs quietly, rubbing his ankle slowly. "So I think I can take a little foot massage break. Did you sign up for your school online?"

"Almost," Kibum turns the laptop toward Jonghyun. "They need a legal guardian or parent to put in their name with a phone number. Put your name in for me; you're eighteen. I doubt they'll look into it."

Jonghyun leans forward to type in his name and contact information before turning the laptop around. "Done."

"Thank you... Other foot, please," Kibum smiles a little, putting his other foot on Jonghyun's lap. "I needed this."

"Your feet are really swollen."

"Thanks for noticing. That happens after carrying around a growing baby."

Jonghyun grins softly at Kibum. "Are you going to make it all the way to Daegu in a car for two hours?"

"We might need a few bathroom breaks, but I think I'll survive," Kibum wiggles my nose. "Then I could rest comfortably at grandma's."

Jonghyun reaches up to rub Kibum's belly. "Twenty-five weeks... Where is the time going?"

"I don't know, but I was hoping it wouldn't go so fast. I thought I'd have more time than this..."

"People always say it goes fast."

"I never believed them."

---

"Grandma, we're here!"

Kibum directs Jonghyun to toe off his shoes by the door and change into the waiting skipper. 

Kibum's grandmother greets them past the threshold. Jonghyun knows that she's well passed seventy, but she barely shows her age. When Kibum goes to hug her, Jonghyun could see the faint resemblance. Jonghyun did always think that Kibum looked more like his mother than his father.

Jonghyun bows politely.

"Aigoo, this is the boy? He's as bad as you tell me, Kibum?"

"I'm not that bad, ma'am," Jonghyun says but he doesn't quite believe it himself. "I promise."

If that were true, Kibum wouldn't be pregnant.

---

That night, Jonghyun sits in the kitchen with Kibum's grandmother while Kibum showers.

"Kibum told me you want to keep the baby," she says over tea. "But he doesn't want to."

"I never said it outright, but I made it pretty obvious... As did he."

"Don't let him give the baby up."

"Excuse me?"

"Kibum wouldn't forgive himself. Not ever. He speaks openly with me when he calls. I know he's afraid, but what he'll feel will be worse than fear if he lets that baby go up for adoption when she's born."

Jonghyun stares down at his tea cup. "I told him I'd agree with what he does. He's worried about school. I never much cared about it because I had a set position in my father's business since before I was even born."

"Do you love Kibum?"

Jonghyun blushes as he looks up. "More than anything else."

"Then be stubborn. Talk him into keeping the baby. You need to. If he doesn't decide it himself, you need to help him. He won't be the same if he agrees to it. If you two don't have a place to stay--"

"My parents are allowing us to stay with him. Mom told me privately they'd let us use the guest room as a nursery, at least until Kibum graduates. They don't think we should have our own apartment until Kibum is at least eighteen too... How do you feel about the baby, ma'am?"

"I don't think anyone is ever thrilled when something like this happens, but I'm not going to completely disown Kibum for it either. I didn't think I'd see a great-grandchild. I would have been so much more upset with him if I found out he had an abortion."

"What about school?"

"That was all on his parents. They pushed him too hard. I'm glad that he's going to try to finish. I know it won't be easy, but he's trying. When is the baby due?"

Jonghyun smiles softly. "Right around Christmas. December twenty-third. We might be spending this Christmas in the hospital, but I think we're getting a pretty good present."

---

Kibum sits against Jonghyun's chest as he scrolls on his cellphone. Both of Jonghyun's hands are resting on his bump, and the baby is eagerly kicking at his palms. Kibum barely reacts to it anymore, but his face does turn sour when she kicks just a bit too hard.

"Do you want to have the baby here in Daegu?"

Kibum's thumb freezes as it hovers over the screen of his phone. "No."

"No? Why?" Jonghyun wasn't expecting that.

"It'll be close to Christmas, and I'm sure you're going to want to see your parents."

"Won't you want to see your grandmother?"

"Yeah, but you've never spent Christmas without your parents. Anyway, it'll be too hard to drive back home when I'm recovering. It's easier to just do it in Seoul. We can come visit grandma again when I'm better."

"So she could see the baby?"

Kibum stays silent for a time. "No."

"Why not?" 

"We're not going to have this conversation, Jonghyun."

"Then when are we? We've only got fifteen weeks left; you can't keep putting it off. How much longer is it going to take for this to become real to you? You can feel her moving. You can feel her hiccup, God damn it. How much more is it going to take?"

Jonghyun isn't sure when exactly turned to him or what the last straw had been to have him smack Jonghyun hard in the face. Jonghyun imagines he pissed him off soon after he began talking, but he can't pinpoint exactly where.

Kibum stands up, using the back of the couch for support, and walks off, hands balled into fists at his side. He turns the corner to go into the kitchen, and Jonghyun notices that one hand uncurls to rest gently on his stomach.

Jonghyun calls his mom later that day and asks her to order a crib and furniture set for the spare bedroom.

---

Kibum doesn't talk to Jonghyun much on the final day in Daegu. He eats breakfast with his grandmother one last time while Jonghyun loads up the car again. Kibum purchased things to wear for the next week's of his pregnancy, and there's significantly less room in the back of Jonghyun's already cramped car.

He comes back in and knocks on the door frame of the kitchen. "We have to head out, babe. Traffic is going to get bad soon, and we don't need to be stopped on the highway if you need a potty break."

Kibum smiles slightly at that, kissing his grandmother's cheek before hugging her tightly. Jonghyun does the same, telling her that they would be back before she knew it (plus one).

Once Kibum is close enough, Jonghyun wraps one arm around his waist and presses a gentle kiss to his temple. It's his silent way of saying 'I'm sorry,' at least so the two hour ride back to Seoul isn't a completely silent one.

"I'm sorry for hitting you yesterday." Kibum murmurs quietly, touching his lips to Jonghyun's cheek in his own apology.

---

Kibum has his hands folded on top of his stomach, shoes and seatbelt off as he and Jonghyun sit in heavy traffic just outside of Gangnam. He rolls the window down although the AC is on in the car, lifting one hand up to fan himself. 

Jonghyun glances over at him. "Kibum, please put your seatbelt on."

"We're just sitting in traffic," he says in response, lifting his water bottle to his lips to take a sip. "I'll put it back on when we start moving again."

"Kibum, please. Give me peace of mind, would you? I know it's uncomfortable for you, but put it on. People drive like maniacs on a normal day, and it'll be worse with so much traffic."

"It's okay," Kibum smoothes his hand over his stomach. "I'm getting hungry again. Could we stop somewhere for food before we go back to your apartment? I could go for a hamburger. Oh, you know, there's a new vegetarian taco place that just opened too. I read reviews online, and people were saying it was pretty good."

Jonghyun knows that Kibum doesn't mean to get off topic so quickly. He tells Jonghyun that it's called baby brain (which Jonghyun thinks you don't get until after the baby is born, but Jonghyun doesn't say that), and he has a one track mind when it comes to food. Jonghyun thinks it's ironic. Kibum was so health conscious before he got pregnant, but now, he could care less about eating things he'd never imagine putting in his mouth a few months ago. Jonghyun is sure they've eaten out triple the amount in the past two months than they had in the six months of dating before the baby.

"Tell you what. If you put on your seatbelt, I'll buy you as many vegetarian tacos as you can eat."

Kibum pouts and buckles his seatbelt because he knows that Jonghyun is serious. Jonghyun wouldn't think twice about dragging him home and making him fend for himself in their kitchen.

"There, it's on. Are you happy now?"

"Kibum, it's not me being a jerk. I just don't need you getting hurt if something happens," he reaches over to take Kibum's hand. "I think we should have a nice talk since we still have about a half hour."

"About...?"

"The baby."

"Jjong..."

"No, will you just hear me out?"

Kibum sighs softly and nods. "Fine, I'll hear you out."

"Look, I'm going to take your parents out of the equation while I'm talking, okay? No one is against you in this, alright? You're going through this for the baby, shouldn't we at least keep her? I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but we'll both be there. So will my parents. I'll buy you as many books as you want. We'll take lessons and read and try hard. You'll be at home for school, and I'll be home enough too... I'm not going to kick you to the street. Even if we break up, you'll stick have a home, and I'll still help, I'll promise you that much."

"What about the future?"

"What about it?"

"Just think. Even if we get past the baby stage, she's still going to grow up. What if we can't teach her properly? We're still kids ourselves... She'll grow up badly."

"You don't know that. If we love her, and show her right from wrong with our own values, she'll be fine."

"Why aren't you scared?"

"I am, but I don't want a little girl to grow up not knowing her real parents because we were too afraid," Jonghyun looks over, noticing Kibum's free hand resting on his stomach again. "Look at yourself, Kibum. You've become attached, haven't you?"

Kibum moves his hand quickly, picking up the water bottle to twist it in his hands. "No..."

"Kibum..."

"I love her, Jonghyun."

"Then shy can't we keep her?"

"We don't get to mess up. She's a person too. I can protect her now, but not when she's born. Not as much as I can now, and that's terrifying."

Jonghyun sighs, rubbing Kibum's hand as he turns his gaze back to the road when traffic begins moving. "If I get you a book on what to expect, would you think about it? I'm sure I could find something that'd walk you through the first few months so you're not as afraid? There are lessons we can go to too."

Kibum sighs quietly, his stomach slowly. "I want the book, but I'm not saying yes or no to you. It's still not a yes in my mind, just because you're getting me a... a book."

"Work with me, Kibum."

"Why can't you see my position?"

"I do. I do, sweetheart, but it's still... Alright. I'll think about you're position right now," Jonghyun sets both hands on the steering wheel. "Traffic is moving again, so let's go get you one of those tacos."