w o w

sorry this was so hard to post! I've been busy lately coughs ; _ ;

authornim is really sorry, hope you enjoy though! You 28 subscribers of mine have been waiting for a bit {sobs a bit because I lost 5}

btw I'm splitting chapter 4 into three parts because I am on a tiny bit of writer's block, so sorry in advance my bbys ; u ;

should I even call this a fourshot 4 1/3 /4 ;; 728 words (hella short I know, don't worry. the next 3 chapters will be longer. jfc is this even a fourshot anymore)

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"TAO!" was the last thing I heard because I knocked out cold, seeing nothing but pitch black. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not, but when I woke up I was in bed, and not in the hospital.

My heart leaped a bit to see Kris at the doorway, coming over to me. Tears fell down my face as he got closer, bending down to my eye level. As I was about to engulf him into my arms, his figure disappeared. I should have known, just a figment of my stupid imagination.

Was I dreaming though, or was I really awake?

Wouldn't the members take me straight to the hospital if that happened?

Ugh Tao.. shut up, you're overthinking again.

Maybe that whole week, maybe that was just a dream.

But the question was, was it? 

I looked down, staring down at my feet which were perfectly snug into cute Christmas socks.

But wait, if it wasn't a dream, wouldn't I be dead right now? 

I blinked a bit, walking over to the far side of the room, flipping through the calendar until it hit December. All of the days that passed were crossed out with a red X, leaving the 25th day blank.

Oh.

My heart sank, letting my knees collapse slowly until I was on the floor. So it wasn't a dream.. and today's the day.. I gulped, choking back on my tears.

Today's the day I'm going to die.

--

{this is in Kris's pov woot.}

I scoffed as I walked passed couples on the street nuzzling their noses together while keeping warm. Tao and I were supposed to do that...but how can we anymore? He never informed me about this..this heart of his.

My mind is spinning, I'm going crazy! I said to him and to myself that I was and WILL always love him no matter what happens.

But this happens..

Kris!

GET.

YOUR.

.

TOGETHER.

Breathe, just breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale..

Wu Yi Fan, what are you doing? You probably hurt your ing boyfriend over something that you shouldn't have to be mad about!

Well I should but--

no buts!

Put yourself in his shoes Kris.. what would you do if you were Huang Zitao?

I'd probably just do the same too...damn it Kris, you hypocrite.

Why am I referring to myself in third person?

Oh shut up!

I shook my head, placing my head into my palms while sitting on a nearby bench. When I left Tao back in the dorm, I could hear all the yelling and screaming. I really didn't leave, I just leaned back against the door, biting on my fist, trying not to cry like a wuss.

But this was Tao we were talking about, of course I'd cry over him.

My vision was a blur, just like my mind. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

..what could I have done instead of just leave? I was just...mad. That he didn't tell me, and that he had to act like nothing was wrong..

But if I was in his shoes..I'd probably be like that too. Right? Because if I found out earlier, I would have just tried to protect him the whole week, and we couldn't do anything because of my overprotective .

Are you..are you doing okay jagiya? Merry KRISmas..ha...

--

{back to Tao's pov}

"Merry Christmas!" I sighed as I heard these shouts from outside my room. The blankets were still over me, keeping me warm from all the cold. It was Christmas, but all I wanted for Christmas was Kris, but where was he?

Oh yeah, he left.

I can't really cuss him out because I'm not that kind of person...but I'm just pissed.

My heart hurts.

Is it because of the situation, or is it because of its dumb rhythm?

I can't even tell anymore.

I used to be scared of dying, especially during this last week.

But now that I think about it..

just kill me.

Let me die already.

What's the point of living if I die eventually?

, after 5 years, people will be better without me, realize I was such a huge mess and all I do is everything up.

It's Christmas for s sake, kill me now for all I care.