“Hyuk!” Ryeowook called as soon as he caught sight of his friend weaving through the crowds to find him. “Over here!”
  “Hey, Wookie. Sorry I’m late. Leeteuk hyung insisted I come over and I had to make a stop to pick up Jino’s birthday present,” Hyukjae said, holding up the bag he had brought with him.
  “What’d you get him?” Ryeowook asked, trying to peek into the bag and pouting when Hyukjae pulled it away from him.
  “It’s a surprise,” he said.
  “Not for me!” Ryeowook insisted, making a grab for the bag and giving a little cheer when Hyukjae relinquished his hold on it.
  “Aww, it’s so soft and fluffy!” Ryeowook squealed when he pulled out the giant stuffed blue penguin.
  “It even comes with a matching hat for Jino,” Hyukjae smiled.
  “Oh Hyuk, I wish you were my nanny! This is too cute!” Ryeowook exclaimed as he hugged the toy.
  “I hope he likes it. He has so many toys already I had no idea what to get him that he didn’t already have.”
  “I’m sure he’ll love anything you give him, Hyuk,” Ryeowook said, squeezing the toy one last time before sticking it back into the bag. “And speaking of birthday presents… Ta-da!” he exclaimed, pulling out a small box with a red ribbon on it. “Happy Birthday!”
  “Wookie, don’t I always tell you that I don’t need any birthday presents,” Hyukjae said.
  “Yeah, but I never listen. Besides, you need this one,” he chirped. “Open it!” he urged when Hyukjae only examined the box.
  “… A key?” he asked, picking up the silver piece of metal with a strawberry keychain attached to it. “You brought me a car?!”
  “What?! Hyuk, I love you, but no car company would take my feelings instead of a check. It’s a key to the apartment! It’s finally finished and we can move back in!” Ryeowook said, clapping and grinning widely. Hyukjae only stared at the key, different emotions playing out on his face. None of which was the one Ryeowook thought he would see.
  “Why aren’t you being happy me? I almost cried when the landlord called me. We have a whole new, refurnished apartment, we can be roommates again, the kitchen looks amazing, and best of all, it’s almost completely fireproof! Though, I’m still thinking about whether or not Yesung deserves his key back,” Ryeowook grumbled.
  “I am happy. I am, but…”
  “But?”
  “But it’s going to be really hard trying to get over to Hae’s place every morning to wake up Kyuhyun for school. Especially with no car.”
  “Can’t Donghae do that?”
  “He can’t be trusted with that. One time I sent him in there to wake up Kyuhyun and I found him in the bed sleeping with him a half hour later. And I have to make sure that they all eat breakfast and make Kyuhyun’s lunch for the day.”
  “Well, Hyuk-“
  “And Jino can’t fall asleep unless I read a story to him before bed.”
  “You don’t need to-“
  “And sometimes Kyu has really bad nightmares, so I have to sit up with him until he can fall back asleep again.”
  “Hyuk-“
  “And Donghae can’t make decent coffee to save his life. I’d hate to see what he’d be like without it in the morning. And-“
  “Hyukjae!” Ryeowook yelled.
  “What?
  “You’re their nanny. Not their mother.”
  “I know that. I just… I just…”
  “Hyukjae… I think you’re getting a little too… attached,” Ryeowook said delicately.
  “What? No, I’m not,” Hyukjae furrowed his brows.
  “Hyuk, did you even hear yourself just now?” Ryeowook asked.
  “I was only-“
  “Sounding like a mother panicking over her kids.”
  “Well, so what? There’s nothing wrong with being attached to them. I would be more worried if I wasn’t,” Hyukjae defended.
  “Maybe not for you, but… can’t you see this maybe becoming a problem for the kids? I mean, it’s good that you like them, and it’s even better that they really seem to like you too, but… have you ever thought about what might happen later? I mean, it’s not like you can stay with them forever, right?”
  Hyukjae looked away from Ryeowook’s concerned gaze. He silently acknowledged that he was right, but that didn’t make the sinking feeling in his heart any better.
  “Just think of how hard it’ll be when you finally do leave. The poor things just lost their parents… how do you think it will affect them to lose you too?”
  “I… I never thought about that,” Hyukjae said softly, and Ryeowook hated seeing the desolate look in his friend’s eyes, but he couldn’t let Hyukjae continue like this or it would only get worse, for everyone.
  “Hey, I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to love them. I can see it in your face when you talk about them just how much they mean to you and how important they are to you, and I hate to take that away from you, but I just want you to be aware of how… harmful it could potentially be for them when you leave them. I know you wouldn’t do it on purpose, but you can’t really stop it either.”
  Hyukjae sighed, a deeply resigned sound, before resting his face in his hands. “Well, what do I do?” he mumbled through his hands to Ryeowook.
  “Well… you could start by moving back into the apartment. Maybe if you’re not around as much, they can lessen their dependence on you and they can slowly get used to the idea of not needing you around all the time,” Ryeowook suggested.
  It was a good idea, and probably the best route he could take in this situation, but as he thought about not waking up with Jino giggling at him from up under his blankets after sneaking into his bed while he was sleeping, or Kyuhyun running up and hugging him, excitedly telling about his day and showing him pictures he drew for him in art class when he would pick him up from school, he couldn’t help but think that he might need them as much as they needed him. Maybe more.
  But he couldn’t be selfish. No matter how much he wanted to be. He loved them enough to be able to put their needs above his own.
  “I guess I have some packing to do,” he said.
  Ryeowook offered him a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry Hyuk, it’s not the end of the world. You’ll still see them, like, every day anyway.”
  “This day just keeps getting worse. And I didn’t think I could actually have any worse birthdays. I guess I was wrong,” Hyukjae said, resting his head on the table and smiling a bitter, unhappy smile.
  “Did something else happen?” Ryeowook asked, concern in his features as Hyukjae spared him a glance and a shrug.
  “My sister called earlier.”
  “Did she say anything about… you know?” Ryeowook hinted without actually saying it and Hyukjae sighed, a long-suffering sounding noise.
  “Just the usual. I should come back for a visit, dad’s doing better, mom wants to see me, blah blah blah,” Hyukjae said.
  “Well… are you? Going to go visit them?”
  “No. Why would I?”
  “Hyuk, it’s been five years. You should at least give them a chance to talk- to at least explain themselves about what happened. It can’t be good to hold all of this in for so long.” Ryeowook placed a comforting hand on Hyukjae’s but the latter brushed it off.
  “I think ‘You’re a bigger disappointment than I thought’ is pretty self-explanatory. There’s nothing for either one of us to say to each other. Everything was said the day I left.”
  “Hyuk-“
  “Just drop it, Ryeowook. I’m over it,” Hyukjae said sternly, and Ryeowook eyed him worriedly, but said nothing else.
  Hyukjae gestured to the waitress, asking her to bring them both drinks. When she returned and they were placed on the table he picked up the cup and  thoughtfully examined the liquid for a moment before flashing a half-smirk.
  “Cheers… to 6- no wait 7 years of crappy birthdays,” he said, downing what was in his cup in one long swig. He cleared his throat in an attempt to lessen the burn, before setting his glass back on the table and called for the waitress again.
  “Hyuk, I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” Ryeowook warned him.
  “Why not? It’s my birthday, right? The one day I’m supposed to be happy and carefree. I’d like to experience a birthday like that at least once.”
  “But Hyukjae, you know you can’t handle your alcohol well.”
  “No, no, it’s the alcohol that won’t be able to handle me,” Hyukjae said, picking up his second glass and pressing it to his lips.
  “Do you really want to go home to those kids and Donghae reeking of alcohol and drunk off your rocker? Do you seriously want them to see you like that?” Ryeowook asked him, and watched as Hyukjae put the cup down and clenched his jaw once. He stared at the cup on the table before pushing it away with his finger with a sigh.
  “Then, what can I do? I just want to have some fun- get my minds off things,” Hyukjae said, leaning back in his chair and hanging his head down.
  “Well… I know a really good karaoke bar not too far from here,” Ryeowook said, smiling at Hyukjae.
  “I’m having a serious crisis here and you want me to go to karaoke?” Hyukjae dead-panned.
  “Yeah. What better way to let loose and express all your pent up feelings than belting out cheesy off-key songs in karaoke?”
  “Just what pent up feelings am I supposed to be expressing?”
  “I don’t know. Some home issues you’re running away from, past grudges you’re not letting go off, admitting that you have the hots for a certain older guy you know-“
  “Woah, woah, woah.... you think I have the hots for Donghae?” Hyukjae asked, furrowing his eyebrows, and not quite succeeding in hiding his surprise or his blush.
  “When did I say Donghae? I could have been talking about Leeteuk hyung for all you know.”
  “Don’t give me that; you know exactly who you meant. And no, I do not like Donghae. He’s my boss!”
  “And? Who doesn’t like having a little fun in the workplace?” Ryeowook asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
  “No, just no Ryeowook.”
  “Come on Hyuk, every time we talk and you’re not gushing about Kyuhyun and Jino, it’s ‘Donghae did this’ or ‘Donghae did that’ and ‘Kyaa, Hae-ah don’t, the kids are watching!'”
  “That last one never happened!” Hyukjae exclaimed.
  “But you totally wish it did. You guys even have nicknames for each other, 'Hyukkie'. And who really calls their boss ‘Hae’. You guys must be fuc-“
  “Hey! Language!” Hyukjae said reaching over to cover Ryeowook’s mouth. Smacking his hands away, Ryeowook frowned at him.
  “Do I look 6 to you?” Ryeowook asked incredulously.
  “Sorry, it’s a habit,” Hyukjae said.
  “A habit like waking up your boss in bed with hot coffee, straddling his hips and wearing one of his dress shirts and ties and saying: ‘It’s time to get up, Mr. Lee’? Donghae looks like the type to like things like that. I bet he likes you in glasses too. Ooh, I bet he has a desk in his home office, doesn’t he?” Ryeowook said, amused at the spluttering Hyukjae was doing while he was trying to come up with a decent response.
  “Kim Ryeowook!” Hyukjae shouted indignantly.
  “What?” Ryeowook asked, his innocent expression completely contrasting all of the things he was just insinuating.
  “I do not think of Donghae like that and he does not think of me like that! End of discussion!” Hyukjae yelled, his face burned a bright red.
  “I bet he’d like it if you got all feisty with him like that too,” Ryeowook cackled at the groan Hyukjae let out. “Wait, where are you going?” he called after Hyukjae in between his laughter.
  “Karaoke!”
  “You should sing that song with the dance! What is it- Ah! Mister! I’ll record it and we can send it to Donghae! He can watch it in his office!” Ryeowook yelled, smacking his hand against the table in glee while his outburst caught the attention of everyone around. “Don’t leave yet! Wait for me Hyuk!”

  Hyukjae slipped into the apartment quietly, knowing it was way too late for anyone to be awake. He took extra care to take off his coat and shoes quietly, before silently making his way down the hall to his room. He stopped dead in his tracks when the lights flicked on and he turned to see Donghae leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
  “Aren’t you a little old to be caught sneaking in the house at 2 in the morning?” he asked, a smirk on his lips.
  “Maybe if you didn’t live on the 30th floor of a pretty well guarded apartment complex I could’ve snuck in the window and wouldn’t have been caught sneaking in at 2 in the morning,” Hyukjae replied, smiling a bit tensely and avoiding looking directly at Donghae since his brain decided to torment him at the moment and all he could think of was all of the teasing ribs and indecent scenarios Ryeowook had been spouting all night.
  Donghae’s lip quirked in amusement and Hyukjae mentally cursed Ryeowook because it seemed like the gesture had suddenly become 3 times more y than usual.
  “Anyways,” Hyukjae cleared his throat, “what are you doing up so late? Not waiting for me I hope.”
  “Nah. I just thought now would be a perfect time to make sure all the light bulbs in the house were turned exactly ¾ quarter inches to the right. I was having such a blast I completely lost track of t-time,” Donghae couldn’t help but snicker when he saw Hyukjae with his head down and his shoulders shaking with his repressed laughter.
  “Wow, you animal. I never knew you liked to party so hard,” Hyukjae said, with his hand unsuccessfully trying to stifle his laughter.
  “I was just lucky the kids were asleep. I didn’t want to taint their innocence or anything.”
  “Pfft, I’d really hate for them to start running around the house tightening screws, or god forbid, building shelves everywhere.”
  “There’ll be n-none of that in my h-house,” Donghae said, barely supporting himself as the chuckles racked his body.
  “T-then you’d better stop before we find Kyuhyun hoarding hammers or Jino with a membership to Home Depot!” Hyukjae said, leaning heavily on the wall as he slapped his knees and Donghae clapped loudly, mouth wide open in laughter.
  “S-ssh,” Hyukjae managed to get out. “We don’t want to wake them up,” he said, pushing Donghae towards the living room.
  “Unless they’re having dreams about installing copper piping; that we need to put a stop to,” Donghae joked, sending Hyukjae over the edge again as he shoved Donghae into the room, laughing loudly when they were safe.
  “You’re terrible,” Hyukjae laughed, wiping at his eyes.
  “You started it,” Donghae said.
  “I did not! It was you and your light bulbs!”
  “Speaking of light bulbs, I need your help with one I couldn’t get,” Donghae said, smiling mysteriously at Hyukjae.
  “Oh?” Hyukjae said, raising an eyebrow.
  “Yep, it’s in the kitchen. Come on,” Donghae said, grabbing Hyukjae by the hand and pulling him along. The burning contact and thrumming heartbeat that came when he felt Donghae’s warm hand wrapped securely around his was not helping Hyukjae’s whole ‘not-having-feelings-for-Donghae’ denial thing he was going through at the moment.
  He held his head down as Donghae dragged him though the room and bumped into his sturdy back when he suddenly stopped walking at the entrance to the kitchen.
  “What is it-“ Hyukjae started, but Donghae cut him off when he turned around and faced him with a sweet yet teasing smile. Hyukjae was glad that they had moved from the brightly lit hallway to the dimmed entrance, the darkness obscuring the way the blush started to color his cheeks.
  Donghae then turned Hyukjae around and placed his hands over the latter’s eyes, gently leading him further into the room.
  “D-donghae, what are you doing?” he asked, wondering if Donghae could feel his heart pounding with the way his chest was pressed firmly against his back.
  “While I was in here ‘fixing the lights’ I saw something that else that needed to be fixed so…” he trailed of as he released Hyukjae’s eyes. The latter had to blink a few times to adjust to what he was seeing, but when he did, his eyes widened in surprise.
  “It was kind of last minute since you kept your birthday a secret from me, so I’m sorry that this is all I could do,” Donghae said, rubbing his hand on his neck.
  “And I know it’s not ‘technically’ your birthday anymore… but Happy Birthday, Hyukjae.”
  Hyukjae walked closer to the table and saw the pile of strawberry shortcake muffins on the table with candles placed haphazardly all over the place on random muffins. He felt his heart swell in his chest and create a strong pressure directly onto his tear ducts.
  “H-hae,” Hyukjae said quietly.
  “Kyu and Jino put the candles on. They wanted to stay up and sing happy birthday to you, but they fell asleep around 10. They did leave this for you though,” Donghae said as he rounded the table and picked up a piece of paper.
  Hyukjae took the paper and couldn’t help the short laugh and drops of moisture that escaped when he saw the pictures and words that were drawn onto the homemade birthday card. There was a drawing of Hyukjae, Donghae, Kyuhyun and Jino in the middle of the paper with a big birthday cake at the top. Random hearts were scattered around the paper, and Hyukjae could tell which ones were done by Kyuhyun and which ones were done by Jino. He ran his fingers over the pictures, feeling his tears slip out more and more as he saw the writing at the bottom of the page.
  ‘Happy Birthday Hyung! We love you!’
  Hyukjae was surprised to see that the card had been signed by all three of them. He placed a hand over his mouth and looked up at Donghae, who was watching him with a smile. He couldn’t hold back the small sniffle he let out.
  The last time he had someone go through the trouble of making him any kind of cake for his birthday, it ended up flat on the floor with angry footprints and harsh words mixed into it. That day his tears had been from the pain of being rejected and despised and from the regret of watching his family split and divide right in front of him, because of him.
  Now, here he was with a new family, one that loved him and wanted him… and he had to leave them again. Hyukjae wouldn’t have thought it possible for his heart to beat so much while it felt so broken.
  He didn’t know when his tears had turned into sobs, or when Donghae had gathered him up in his arms, but it didn’t seem to matter when he felt him petting him and whispering soothing words in his ears. He stood with his face buried in the latter’s chest and his hands wrapped around his neck, one holding tightly onto his birthday card and the other holding onto Donghae, while the candles to his cake illuminated their figures in the background, watching the distance between them grow smaller and smaller as they grew shorter and shorter.