Without You

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a one shot requested by : pikapanda

 

 

 

He was always special to me.

Even before he talked to me and even before he asks me to go out with him and even before he asks me to be his girlfriend.

I felt lucky when finally the man of my dreams became my boy friend.

But Do Kyungsoo was not like any boyfriends.

He was not so expressive and he wanted everything in secret.

I appreciate that but looking at his dongsaeng with their girlfriends makes me envious.

Why can't he be like Kai, why can't he be like Sehunnie? Why can't he be someone who'd be proud to tell the world that I was his girl?

Why does it felt like he was ashamed of me?

I know I was just not like Kai's girlfriend Rin, I can't dance well. I know I was not like Baekhyun's girlfriend Idyl, I am not so smart. I know I was never like Sehun's girl who talk and dress like a model.

I know I was just like ordinary female. Ordinary beauty, but was it enough for him to hide me?

Was it enough reason to treat me like I was just somebody?

To act it was nothing envious when Chen put his hands on me or Tao hug me for making him some fancy cake for his birthday?

To forget to ask when was my birthday?  To even forget our monthsary?

Did he even think about how I feel when I was just right ther and he would just shrug when ask who's he dating?

I tried to understand all of it. I tried  not to get angry about it but it was sometyhing hurtful though.

I was just human In have emotions but I tried not to tell him.

Because the D.O. people know before I met him was always secretive, talk less and express less.

That is what I always told myself so I could stop brooding in the corner. So I could stop over thinking things that maybe he does not like me at all. That maybe because for fan service, he asks me out

That maybe he just wants to try feeling like having someone to text him, to call him and check if he was still alive.

That maybe since the beginning this relationship was just one sided affair.

But what made me hold on still?

The times when he'd suddenly appear and back hug me. The times when he would give me red rose on random days. The times when he would give me soya milk when he wound me in the library studying. The times when I would catch him staring then act like it was an accident he look at me.

Even though he spoke less I am very much grateful with the gesture.

Maybe because I was so in love with him that even those simple things felt like heaven. That even if he doesn't tell me I love you more often with those things he did I felt like he already did.

But four days ago I realize that everything we had was like a dream.

So  I ended it up with him.

 

 

flash back

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I was about to go home when I noticed I had left my book on my lockers so I went back to get it. I paused walking when I saw DO and Tao.

I heard Tao said my name.

"How about her?" DO ask Tao.

"Wasn't she your girlfriend?" Tao ask seriously.

It took a moment before DO answered.

"Anyo."

I felt my heart has been stab by millions of daggers.

I clutch my chest, tears welled in my eyes.

So this was heart break felts like?

"But I saw you walking with her the last time."

"So?"

"So I assume that she was your girlfriend and if not you are going out."

I swallowed my tears.

How can he deny me?

How could he hurt me?

I did not ask him to take me out.

 I did not ask him to make me his girlfriend.

I did not ask so many things to him.

How could he hurt me?

If he does not like me at all why kept me in the dark? Why not tell me in the first place?

I was crying in that far corner when the others came and it was too late to run. Chen already saw me.

"Ya!" Chen called making the boys look at me, making him notice me." You..wae? Why are you crying?"

I can tell D.O was shocked to see me there but it fades immediately.

"Wae? Waeyo?" Chen cup my chin and make me look at him.

I glance at Tao and D.O.

 "I..

Maybe it's just right to end it now.

I unclasp the bracelet he gave me on our first date as couple.

"I am not D.O's girlfriend." I told Tao.

Chen and the rest look surprised.

"Anymore. Let's end the suspicion D.O. Let's break up."

"_______-shi," he called my name.

Before when he was saying my name my heart lurch in my chest for joy but today it was like pressing hard to my wounds.

I walk past them, get the book from my locker and left.

I don't need him to explain , after all  I already  had enough.               

~End of flash back

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I have been crying for days yet the tears still kept on coming whenever I remember it

I wipe the tears that had stream down my face. I went to school today because my brother, Eli oppa had been worried for me and my studies.

I did not came because I want to.

Maybe I still love him but when time pass by i would be able to forget him.

The process would be painful but what doesn't.

I was on vacant for few hours when out of nowhere I heard someone on the school radio both.

Byun Baekhyun's voice.

" Miss_______-shi..

I was surprised when I heard my name.

"Come to the Auditorium. It's urgent."

I frowned. Why would that Bacon want me to go to the Audi?

I just shrug and continue writing my homework.

It was past twelve and I was eating my favorite lunch when Tao grace my lunch table.

"Wae?" I ask.

"Can we abduct you?"

I rolled my eyes." Panda, are you stupid?

"Dae." he answered then motion Kris and Xiumin to catch me.

" Ya! What are you doing?!" I screamed but Kris was strong. He had me on his back before I could even move. "Put me the down!"

"I will once we get there."

"Ya! Where are you going to take me?"

"You'll know when we get there."

I struggle from Kris hold but this giant was so strong.

 "Eli oppa will beat you!! I will make sure of that"

"He'll certainly will but it's just fine. I'd call Siwon hyung for back up. "

I was ready to kill this bastard when he put me down.

" The auditorium?"

He nod then open the doors. It was so dark inside.

" Kris why are we here?

"We prepared a private show just for you." Kris pushes me through the room and motioned me to take the front seats.

"What show?"

"The 'D.O Forgive me' show."

HUH?

Then as if on cue the spot light were focused on him.

My heart race faster.

The pain was intensified.

I double step backward.

" No. Please, stay."

No.  I can't.

You will just hurt me D.O.

I turn my back and started to walk. When..

I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
without you, without you

I froze.

Why was he singing?

Why that song.

"Please listen..

Why does he sounds like he was crying?

I turn to face him. I almost gasp when I could clearly see him sobbing on the stage.

" Will you?"

I swallowed hard.

I saw the boys near the stage. They are looking at me with pleading eyes.

I nod.

I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you

 I was surprised to see so many emotions on his face as he makes way through the seats to me.

This was not Do Kyungsoo.

I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I
without you

My tears stream down my face. Was he singing this because...

W-Without you
 

His voice trails as he broke down into sob.

"Do...

Without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you

I can tell it was Chen and Baekhyun's voice. They pick up where DO left. But why was he crying now?

Was he acting that he was so hurt..

                                                                                                       

Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged
without you, without you
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night

Without you, without you

" ______--shi...

I look at his face and wish I didn't.  I still love him and to see his hurt face hurt me more.

" Wae?"

"I am sorry...

He broke into sob again.

" I know you hate hearing me say sorry but for now will you let me? Becasue  know I had been a jerk."

I didn't say a thing. I just listen as my tears keep on streaming down my face.

But why there's a part of me that starting to hope.

That he was saying sorry because he can't go on without me.

That maybe..                                                                            

"Let's not break up.."

........He'd ask me that.

"I know it was too much to ask when I was the reason you end it but please hear me. I did not want to lose you.  If I acted I don't care, if I made you feel like I don't love you, if I deny you on Tao I did that because I don't want people to know that you go out with me. I don't want the fan girls to pester you like they did on Sehun, Kai and Baekhyun's girlfriend."

I was surprised with what  heard from him.

"I know it was stupid of me and I can't blame you for hating me just don't break up with me."

"DO..

"I know I am not expressive, I know I don't tell you I love you often but believe me I do. I love you to that extent that just saying your name, just being near you almost always takes my breath away."

"DO..

"I know I hurt you but please don't leave me. Take me back----

I pulled him to me and kiss him.

"There's no need to ask me. Just forget that I said I will break up with you be."

He was still crying when he hug and kissed me back.

"I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU .I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE-

"Hyung you don't have to repeat that," Kai teased.

" And hyung, don't hug her too tight, she might die."

DO flush scarlet. I smiled. He really looked adorable.

"Ya, stop it. I felt shy." he said pouting at the guys.

I laughed. He's like a kid.

"Aish. You are so stupid. Let the girl go now and stop acting we are going to snatch her from you." Kris said.

 "Whatever."

I smiled again and pinched his nose.

"Aish. Annoying! Let's go out and leave this two love birds. Their sweetness made me sick." Chanyeol exclaimed.

"Wow. I felt like missing Ruchell." Sehun said.

"I am missing Rin too." Kai said then to Baek," Hyung don't you miss Idyl?"

Baekhyun smiled sweetly. "More than she know."

Then they all leave us still hugging in the middle of the Audi.

"DO-shi..

"Huh?

"I am tired. Can we sit?

DO looked flushed. I laugh.

"Ya. I think I break up with you now."

" What?!"

I flicked his forehead. "I am just kidding."

He sighed then said, " Don't do that again"

"I think I would."

He glared at me.

"Why not?You look cute when singing that song.

"Tch.

"I love you DO-shi.

" I love you so much jagiya."

I close my eyes when he lean and kiss me.

He said he can't be the same without me. Well I will never be the same without him too.

I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you

Without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you

I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
Without you

 

 

 

 

 

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Yeah, without you.

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And for the Lay one shot will be coming soon.