Winter Days

Youngjae wakes up an hour earlier than usual the next day. There'd been something gnawing on the back of his mind, a mixture of mistrust oozed out from his logical side leaving him with qualms. He had thought he would open his eyes to a ransacked house but all he had waken up to was peace and quiet.

Warmth lingers in his body as he makes breakfast. Setting out three plates, he makes sure to put a little more maple syrup on Junhong's serving of french toasts. A fleeting voice burned into his mind calls out “strawberries are my favourite, hyung” and Youngjae pauses before taking a box out of the fridge. Slicing up the fruit, he strews the pieces over each dish with an inaudible sigh.

Peeking into the siblings' room, he finds Daehyun awake. He's cradling his little brother in his arms. Blinking up at Youngjae, he places Junhong down gently and creeps out of the room.

“Sorry,” Youngjae says. “I wanted to tell you two that breakfast is ready.”

“No, no,” Daehyun hurriedly replies with a hasty wave of the hand. “Thank you.” His eyes loiter on the nurse's face and he bends his head low.

Youngjae casts a small smile at Daehyun and speaks, “How long have you been awake?”

“About an hour or more,” Daehyun answers while mirroring Youngjae's grin. “I have a habit of waking up early.”

They stand in silence before Daehyun suggests, "Ah, I'll go wake Junhong up".

The three huddle around the table while a bleary Junhong clutches onto his brother's shirt. He beams at Youngjae, mumbling out an almost incoherent “good morning, hyung”. It inevitably strikes a chord in the nurse's heart.

Taking a bite, Junhong immediately snaps out of his groggy trance and bounces in his chair jovially. “These are so nice, hyung!”

Youngjae's lips melt into a contented smile and he threads his fingers tenderly through the boy's hair. “I'm glad you like them, Junhong.”

“You're a great cook,” Daehyun chirps. Youngjae meekly laughs and watches as the two eat.

Junhong's wrists are jagged, bones jutting out of his skin. Youngjae holds in a crestfallen exhale and continues observing the boy.

After incessant words of thanks from both siblings, Daehyun insists to do the dishes. Unable to reject the stubborn man, Youngjae leads Junhong to the living room to watch television. It's incredible to see how mesmerised the boy is as Youngjae lets him flick through the channels. Junhong settles on a cartoon (which he ensures firstly Youngjae likes) and curls up next to Youngjae, eyes riveted on the screen.

Daehyun joins them in the living room, only sitting when Youngjae coaxes him to. They remain for a long while like this, Youngjae drenched in his memories and Daehyun fidgeting about. Though reluctant to leave Junhong's side, Youngjae gets up to gather the laundry.

“You need to go shopping, right?” Daehyun follows the nurse, staring pointedly at the shopping list on the refrigerator. “I'll go,” he offers once Youngjae nods. He takes the small pile of clothes out of Youngjae's arms and cracks an earnest grin.

“It's okay,” Youngjae presses as Daehyun speedily collects the laundry from the washing machine. He gently grasps Daehyun's arm as he takes out the last shirt. “You don't have to do the chores for me.”

“I have to,” Daehyun argues in a low tune. “It's the least I could do to repay you.”

The man steps over to the yellow notebook paper stuck on the fridge door. Youngjae smiles lightly to himself, keeping his protests to himself. If there's anything Youngjae knows for sure about Daehyun, it's that he won't change his mind about doing a favour.

"How about we all go?" Youngjae suggests as he peers at Junhong, still captivated by the television. Junhong's oversized jacket lays on top of the pile, worn out and shabby.

Handing Daehyun one of his extra jackets, Youngjae wraps Junhong up in a couple of his sweaters on him.

"The shopping mall's just a short walk away," Youngjae says, laughing at Junhong wiggling in his large clothes. "When we get there, we'll buy you a new jacket, okay?"

Junhong nods gratefully and pulls Youngjae into a hug. The trio scurry over to the nearby shopping mall and head down to a children's clothes store. Junhong excitedly tries on many clothes and they end up buying a baby blue jacket for him, along with a bunch of shirts and pants.

Youngjae staunchly tugs Daehyun into a clothing store afterwards. Youngjae and Junhong pick out a couple of clothes and they usher a spluttering Daehyun into the changing room. Choosing the best few, Youngjae rushes to the counter to pay before Daehyun can stop him. They end up in bouts of muffled laughter, the shopkeeper watching in mild amusement as they leave the shop. It's not long before lunch is due and Youngjae carries Junhong while they climb the escalator.

"There's this really good bibimbap store here," Youngjae says as they weave through the crowds. They arrive at a bustling restaurant and Daehyun flashes a look of uncertainty. 

"Are you sure? I can just eat instant noodles..."

Youngjae pretends to be offended and retorts, "So, you don't trust my taste?"

"I do, but-" Daehyun responds quickly, only to be cut off by Youngjae briskly settling down at a table.

"Then sit, please," Youngjae chuckles. He orders three bowls of bibimbap and Junhong eagerly stirs, spilling sauce onto the table. Daehyun chides him and Junhong hangs his head sadly, causing Daehyun to fidget uncomfortably. Youngjae watches tenderly as Daehyun affectionately pats Junhong's head, feeding him slowly.

They stop by the supermarket after lunch. Youngjae wheels Junhong in a trolley as Daehyun gets the items off the checklist, running from aisle to aisle and back to the cart.

"Hyung and I used to go shopping together," Junhong whispers to Youngjae after Daehyun scampers off to get eggs. Youngjae raises his eyebrows in interest as Junhong leans back nearer.

"I would pull down all the things we needed from the shelves while hyung pushed me around."

"I missed doing that," Junhong murmurs before beaming once again. "It makes me happy that we can do this again!"

Youngjae fondly stares into Junhong's eyes, pretty brown circles glistening with hope and joy. "How about you help hyung get a box of cereal, then?" Youngjae asks and stops at a shelf.

"Which, hyung?" Junhong asks, gazing up at the many different boxes lined up.

"Which do you think is the tastiest?" Youngjae asks.

Junhong bites his lip, brows knitting together in concentration. "This one," he decides after a long moment, plucking off a honey cereal box and putting it into the cart. Daehyun returns just then with an armful of groceries and they walk to the counter.

The snow has gotten heavier in the early evening. Daehyun refuses to hand over the bags full of groceries, so Youngjae is left holding Junhong's hand while strolling back to the apartment. The small boy admires his new jacket, the seams and grinning to himself.

After a quick dinner of jajangmyeon, the trio sit together and watch the news. "This year's winter is foreseen to be the hardest to hit South Korea," the news reporter rambles on while scenes of mostly white cover the screen. Something nudges Youngjae's arm and he turns to see Junhong leaning against him, fast asleep.

He carries Junhong into the room and tucks him into bed, Daehyun in tow. They sit on the end of the bed, watching Junhong's chest heave and fall tranquilly.

"I have to go to work tomorrow," Youngjae quietly says as they exit the room.

"I'll do the chores," Daehyun instantaneously volunteers.

"You don't have to, Daehyun," Youngjae replies though he predicts Daehyun will, in any case.

"I'll look for work," Daehyun determinedly announces. The steadfast look on Daehyun's face makes Youngjae stifle back a chuckle.

He points to a stack of newspapers by the door and speaks, "Those may help."

Much to Youngjae's amusement, Daehyun instantly heaves the entire pile into the bedroom and nods fervently. "I'll look through them. Thanks," he stops and looks up with a blinding smile.

"Thank you, Youngjae."

Daehyun's eyes are b with gratefulness and Youngjae returns the smile. Snow beats against the windows, but the moment between them remains soft and unassuming. It fills Youngjae with a form of hope that lingers as he gets to bed, that he wishes will linger till tomorrow—for him to leave behind with the people who need it most.