"Dear Diary."

"This is my memory."

Taeyeon as my lover.

A high impossibility level, or so I thought.

Shrug.

Taeyeon was there, sleeping on the couch as I walked downstairs. I tried to set my footsteps lighter than usual, the wooden floor of my house would create a loud 'Ddak' sound if I walked like usual. Taeyeon occupied most of the space that was available on my couch, her position looked so uncomfortable but she was able to sleep like a log. It was unfortunate that the cushions were being laundried by my mother, so I couldn't slip one under Taeyeon's head.

If you can imagine it, it would've been a funny scene.

My thought was occupied with cheesy and romantic Korean drama scenes that I watched. The male-lead would carry the female-lead bridal style to the bed and cover her in the warm thick blanket, that kind of scene seems so... But I wouldn't say it was romantic after I tried.

I placed my arms sneakily under Taeyeon's body and tried to lift her, but I didn't have the buffy biceps to; she was just an inch lifted from the ground and it was all my strength. My arms were trapped under her body and my fingers were poking her waist when I tried to get it out, luckily she didn't wake up after she flinched. I slumped my shoulder in disappointment and glared at the TV that did nothing to my failure except playing the Korean dramas frequently.

I sighed and did something simple to made her feel comfortable. Maybe I was not strong enough to carry her whole body, but I had enough strength to lift half of it. I sat myself comfortably and let herself leaned on my body as I kept her inside my embrace.

When everyone in the movies would study the face of their lovers, I didn't understand why they said it was sweet until I had her beside me. They said that people would look different when they were asleep, it was true. 

The Taeyeon that I knew would always frown or sometimes left unfriendly impression towards others, her eyes were tired but would occasionally left some smiles or laugh if she wanted to.

The person inside my embrace was different.

All that frown turned into a peaceful and relaxed expression. Dark circles were visible but she didn't look so tired, her lips naturally tugged into a small upward curve that I found adorable. Everything about her was dazzling.

I slept for a short time, she slept for a long time. I was smiling as I woke up staring at that sleepy peaceful look.

If I could stole a kiss from her, I would've done that.

But Taeyeon beats me after she woke up. Eventhough it's not really on the lips, it's still a kiss.

I pictured every single moment clearly. She kept herself close to me and grabbed my shoulder like she didn't want to leave. She frowned as she heard the ticking needles inside her watch; it was clearly shown that the hours she got were decreasing before she left my shelter.

"I don't want to go home." she said to me. Her eyes seems so sore when she mentioned 'Home', I hope I could understand why. "Want to have a sleepover? I can call my mom for permission." I asked which she easily nodded to. "Since my brother is outside, I can just ask him to borrow me some of his clothes." she shrugged, "Let me call my sister so she can tell my mom." she stood up and fiddled with her phone.

Her shoulder slumped as she waited for her brother to pick up the phone, fingers tapping and feet slightly kicking. When her shoulder raised, I noticed that her brother was already on the phone line. I had myself calling my mom for permission, an easy task since my mom was a slight airhead. "As long as you're treating her well as a guest, have a sleepover! It's nice for you to have a merrier sleepover though.... I love kids." that's my mom for you.

As I let down my phone, Taeyeon was already walking towards me. "My brother is on his way here." she chimed, "My sister was not at home, but she was with my brother. They're going to have a sleep at the hotel and luckily my sister packed my clothing. Problem solved." she sighed in relieve and throw herself beside me. "My mom gave me the permission, but she said that if we can, we should have another coming for sleepover." I shrugged and she nodded.

"Sunny and Yul?" her eyes lit up, "Those dorks would be a good companion." she grinned. "I'll text Yul." I smiled and type a text on my phone, Taeyeon sent her text for Sunny. "Ah.. I'm having fun." Taeyeon mumbled as she stretched herself, "We haven't done anything, yet." I nudged her limb as I quirked my eyebrows. "But didn't you?" she smirked, "You did." I retorted.

Maybe we had the same thought, maybe we weren't. As she laughed, that fragile look that I witnessed was gone in a snap. 

She stopped laughing as she checked her phone that beeps rapidly, it was Sunny's reply.

"She would join us after Hagwon."

I got a message from Yuri also.

"Loner Kkab on the way!" I read.

"Your brother.... Wah... I thought he was you dressing up as a male." Yuri said as Taeyeon walk towards us, "He's handsome." she added again and Taeyeon shrugged; "Same goes to your brother Yul." she nudged Yuri's forehead while Yuri sticking out her tounge. "What's with the papers Yul?" I asked as I pointed at the folder that she brought, "Student council task. We're planning to do some mental test." she pull out the folder and checked the content.

"Oh Taeng.. You need to be inside the medical team." she chimed, "When?" she asked while rummaging with her bag. "Tuesday night next week." I sneak a peek and saw the student council letter, "Hey! You shall not read!" Yuri yelled while pushing my face away. "What? Why? And your Gandalf impersonation ." I jeered and slapped Yuri's limb.

"Taeyeon may because she's the school's medical team, but you're neither student council or medical team. You may not." Yuri teased me with her ugly made-up voice, "C'mon Yul, it's just us. You can leak the information." Taeyeon said but Yuri shook her head. "Yul.... I'm older than you." she warned, "I was the vice of the student council also." Taeyeon held the folder strongly that Yuri had a hard time pulling it back.

Yuri pouts and opened the folder widely for both of us to see, but she pull it back after a minute. "At least I know half of the important things." I shrugged, "Don't you dare tell Sunny! I wanna see that so called strong willed shorty scream in fear." she said the last part in a low voice. "Anyway about her, she said that she's on the way here." Taeyeon fiddled with her phone, "She really took a long time." she swatted her hands like usual.

"Oy Fany, it's night already and I haven't see aunty Hwang." Yuri pulled the hem of my shirt, "Or did you plan to eat us once midnight comes?" I squinted my eyes on her and act like I'm going to bite off her neck. "My mom would be outside for a long.. long time." I exaggerated my statement, "That I would be so hungry and made a stew out from your meat. Jeez Yul... No. It's disgusting.." I made a gagging sound since it was really disgusting inside my head.

"But really, did your mom said that she'd be out for a long time?" Taeyeon asked and I nodded, "Busy mom. But not everytime." I shrugged and smiled on both of them. "You have us as your companion tonight." Yuri grinned, "Card games!" she cheered loudly that Taeyeon flinched. "No.........." Taeyeon playfully echoed, "What? Did I look like someone who would do some money bet over card games?" I mouthed 'Yes' to Taeyeon and gestured not to join Yuri's card games.

Well....

Sunny told me that she lost a lot of money to Yuri...

Just before Taeyeon retorted, both me and Yuri heard a clear loud growling sound coming from her side. "Should we cook something before Sunny arrived?" I said while clearing my throat, "Sorry that you heard it." Taeyeon played with her fingers because she was embarassed. "Someone needs to help you cook, y'know?" Yuri warned, "Didn't you say that you can't cook?!" that reminds me not to burn the kitchen.

"Uh.... Right.." I said in a squeaky voice, "Tae cooked pancakes for us, didn't she?" which means I want her to help me cook. "Let me see what you have." she grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to the kitchen area, which was clearly visible from the living room because of the Oak wood color. "May I put a poison inside Yul and Sunny's dish later? Just to have the night for both of us." Taeyeon snickered as I whispered.

"No Fany, it would be hard to hide the dead bodies." she whispered back, "I see that you have some Goldfish, just put them inside Yul and Sunny's and accuse them for being a Goldfish killer." what a good reason it was. "But I won't be able to accuse them for killing my Goldfish because I hate my Goldfish." we stopped and stare at the Goldfish tank, "Now that I look at it, I hate it too.." sure Taeyeon would hate it; she was the person who despise seeing something round like bubbles or holes crowded in one place-just like what's on the fat Goldfish head.

"Why their head must looked like that...." she shook her shoulder in disgust, "What is that thin and bubbly thing-y....." she gagged and I quickly pushed her away from the Goldfish tank. "It's alive Fany-ah! Kill it!" she faked a sob that looks funny, "Alright, I won't feed them." I giggled beside her. I walk towards the cabinet and checked for something to cook as Taeyeon checked the fridge. We agreed to cook Shin Ramyeon, since I had a lot.

I would occasionally swipe my hands on Taeyeon's and smiled to myself afterwards, I saw her smiling too eventhough it was for a split second before she started to concentrate again. We rushed ourselves when Sunny arrived and Yuri joined to help us. Yuri thought that we should pranked Sunny by putting some hot peppers on her Ramyeon, but she didn't notice that we also put some on her bowl.

"Oh great! Ramyeons!" Sunny cheered when we brought the Ramyeon to the living room, but it will died down soon enough.

We ate after we prayed together. Praying is a must.

"Why it's so spicy?" Sunny asked and fanned herself, but it seems like she didn't get so affected by it.

When Yuri laughed silently, me and Taeyeon smirked. Oh, she didn't noticed.

1..

2..

3..

She ran for a glass of water.

Did I write everything already? Maybe not.

Not yet.

I have another one that stuck in my head.

It was when everyone was asleep, except for someone. Taeyeon was wide awake beside me, leaning on the bedhead while clenching on the blanket. She seems so worried that I chose to sat myself up and placed my hand on her stiffened shoulder. "What bothers your sleep?" I asked in a whisper, "Nothing." she said as she turned to looked at me. "Did you wake up because you're worried? Go back to sleep. I'm just simply insomniac." she said with a smile and patted my head.

I didn't really believe her, but I nodded and have my rest eventhough I didn't really sleep. I had a mirror placed beside me, and I was able to see Taeyeon frowned in worry for several times. I closed my eyes when she glanced at the mirror, I hoped she didn't notice what I was doing. Taeyeon was my hair and stopped as she lay beside me.

She hugged me afterwards.

She said something that she didn't want me to hear, but I heard it.

It was sad, but I never asked why for I want to figure it out myself.

It was....

"For whatever I am.."

"I hope that you would still love me when I do."