"Nnng~ H-Hyung...Faster!"

       "I-*pant*- I'm trying! But it's so damn -mmf- tight!" 

       "K-Kris! You're hurting my thighs!" 

       "I-"

       "Oh, for the love of God- Can't you guys take off Tao's skinny jeans without sounding like you're in a damn flick! And hurry it up, Chanyeol's already done setting up the movie!" Baekhyun huffed, stripping himself, and putting on his pajamas. He tried to pull up the pants, but his baby bump made it near impossible. The hormonal male threw them to the floor like yeterday's trash and began to step on them like there was no tommorow.

      "Well I can't help it that Tao's skinny jeans are like 5 sizes too tight!" Kris tugged tried to tug them down, creating angry red marks down Tao's thighs. Tao frowned, annoyed and confused as to why Baekhyun was stomping on his wedding gift. (Yes, because Tao and Kris are close enough to Baekhyun and Chanyeol to give a wedding gift.)

      "FYI you're the one who - ow!-  said my looks nice in skinny jeans so shut the up before I wushu the skinny jeans down your throat!" Tao desperately kicked away the pants, leaving him smiling in content as his legs could finally breathe. 

      "Well, your looks better without them, hm? Maybe I should take the underwear as well." Kris wiggled his eyebrows and began to move towards Tao. The door suddenly swung open with a clueless, happy giant walking in.

     "Movies ready! And I put the hot dogs and popcorn..." Chanyeol's smile disappeared and was replaced with a groan as he watched the chaos. Baekhyun was half and almost crying, throwing his pajama pants across the room while Kris was trying to get some with Tao (ew. This was their bedroom) as Tao threatened to shove his foot up his . 

     "GUYS. GUYS. COME ON. And Tao, we invited you guys to congratulate you on your pregnancy, so hurry it up before we leave you guys out on the porch." Chanyeol winked at Tao and walked over to Baekhyun and tried to soothe the upset male. Tao put on his pajamas, as did Kris, and left the room- Baekhyun's sobbing form making them depressed as well.

    "Hey Tao," Kris looked at the hot dogs in the kitchen, "you know what these hot dogs remind me of?" Tao smiled, reminiscing about the time. 

    "Yeah, the first time we met." Kris smiled along, remembering how they came to be. They sat on the couch, drowned in thoughts about the sweet memories. *Que flashback music dararararararaaa*

--------

2 years ago...

      "Ah, a Macho Beef Burger for me, and a Sizzling Sausage Dog for the lady." 

     "Sizzling Sausage for the lady, huh. ." Kris took the money and carelessly tossed the customer his change and receipt. "Thank you for choosing XOXO's. Please come again." He waved them off with his classic face and looked at his reflection in the window. "Damn Kris, you are a hot and humiliating mess." He was currently wearing a red and yellow cap with an overly happy corn dog sticking up the top. His collared shirt was a tad bit too tight, showing off cartoon letters: XOXO and their slogan in the back. Oops. The slogan. Kris, being "a man who worked to the fullest", or so said his work application, walked up the customer's table and towered over them for an uncomfortable amount of time. 

     "Uh. Can we help you?" The man put his burger down and Kris momentarily stared at it, wondering if he knew what went in that thing. Well. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Kris cleared his throat and took a large amount of breath. 

     "XOXO'S SIZZLING MEAT, BRINGS YOU BACK- BACK-back... man what was it again?" Kris tried to look over his shoulder and tugged at his shirt, trying to read the slogan at the back. He looked like a dog chasing his tail. 

   "Ah! Right. XOXO'S SIZZ- Where'd they go?" He looked around, only to find that the customer's had left. Oops.  He shrugged nonchalantly as if he didn't just curse and yell at the customers. Not his problem. Or so he thought, until he saw the short, plump man he called his boss trotting over to him as fast as his sausage legs can handle. 

   "You! You there! Part-timer! Yeah you!" Kris pointed at himself to clarify, and glared at the other part-timer Himchan, who was laughing his off while Kris got scolded.

   "Just because you're handsome doesn't mean I won't fire you!" Kris smirked at the word 'handsome'. "Do your job right before we kick you out without this month's pay! And I mean it! Tell me your name!" The short man tried to look threatening, but failed as Kris was more than twice his length. (In ways more than one. WINKWINK GUYS. OH GOD. *criesdiesandfaints*) 

   "Uhh. Yeah." He glared at Himchan and an evil smirk came across his face. "The name's Kim Himchan." 

   "Well, Himchan, one more slipup and I'm firing you." Himchan's eyes grew wide and began to follow the boss back to his 'office', only to get scolded for 'acting like a stalker'. Kris laughed. God was so unfair - to others of course because Kris believed himself to be rather amazing. He was pretty smart, tall, handsome, and had a nice package (if you know what I mean.) He was quite the looker. What was more amazing, was the fact that he was single. Oh yes. No one could resist his charms, and that included a panda sitting in the corner of the restaurant, silently chuckling to himself while watching the tall boy who called himself 'Himchan' make a fool out of himself and others. 

--------

     "Uh. I'm sorry, but I think you're in the wrong area." Kris looked up and down at the panda standing before him. Yes, the man was wearing an actual panda costume and trying to order the Sizzling Sausage Dog. "Don't you work at the Panda press across the street." Kris pointed to the restaraunt and the Panda tilted his head. Kris blinked a few times before getting the message and chuckling to himself.

     "Oh, I started calling it Panda press after I got fired for getting a in the -" Kris was cut off as the Panda raised a paw to stop him from talking. He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I won't serve an enemy." Kris crossed his arms. The Panda visibly sighed and took off his mask. And holy , Kris's eyes widened as he stared at the face in front of him. Another panda?! Oh, another hot panda. A very, very, hot panda. 

      "Can I get my Sizzling Sausage Dog now?" The panda boy in front of him rufflered his hair as a thin layer of sweat covered his forehead. God that's hot.

     "You can have my Sizzling Sausage, if you want it." Kris thought. He quickly nodded and rung up the order. "Uh. Here's your change and the receipt. Please, come to XOXO's again." Kris tried not to sound desperate, but meeting someone as hot as he was, left him flustered. (I mean, have you seen the boy?)The boy took his money, but didn't leave. He raised an eyebrow at Kris. He just stood there, staring at his face. 

     "Well, are you going to tell me the slogan, or are you going to chase me away like you did to the customer's yesterday, Mr. Chan. By the way, nice outfit." He smirked and Kris felt a splatter of red being painted across his cheeks. And he frowned at the name. Mr. Chan?

      "Uh. The name's Kris Wu by the way, not Himchan. And no, I'm not going to say the slogan. You can just read it off my back later. And anything I wear looks good, so yes, this indeed, is a nice outfit." This time, it was Tao's turn to frown. He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

      "That shirt is a good size or two too small on you. I can see your nips when you get hard bro." Tao jabbed his index finger right on Kris's . Kris let out an unmanly whimper, feeling embarrassed. "Anyway, do you have any other name?" Kris raised an eyebrow. 

     "Uh. I also go by Wu Yifan." Tao smiled in content and gracefully let out a hand. Kris internally squealed. Who knew he had it in him?

     "Nice to meet you Mr. Fan, I'm Tao." After shaking hands for an abnormal amount of time,Tao got the hot dog and sat down to eat. Kris watched as Tao bit into that sausage. Oh, that's so -

     "Hello? I would like to order now." Kris closed his open jaw and took the next customer's order, eyes not leaving Tao for a moment. Kris's eyes widened as he swore that Tao winked at him while finishing his hot dog. He totally wanted the D. Heh. Kris smiled inwardly as he showcased his casual face once again.

     After his shift was finished, Kris was surprised (and pleased) to find that Tao was in front of Panda press, greeting his own boss. Feeling dauntless, Kris stuffed his hands in his skinny jeans and walked over to Tao. The boss immediately frowned upon seeing the shameless ex-worker walking up to him. 

    "Hey, Tao. And. Mr. Kim, it's been a while." Kris let out a hand for his ex-boss to shake. Tao eyed them closely. 

   "Uh. No offense- actually offense- I don't know or want to know where that hand has been, therefore, I refuse to shake it." Mr. Kim's eye twitched and he took a step back. 

     "Oh, Mr. Seok, you were the boss when he got fired?" Tao threw a look at Kris and he just shrugged in response. 

    "Okay, Tao, for the billionth time it's Mr. Kim. And Oh God, yes, my poor eyes. My poor eyes had to- Oh God the images. JONGDAE HELP. IT'S COMING BACK TO MEE!" Mr. Kim began to rub his eyes and Tao kind of felt bad for him. If he had to call Jongdae, his assistant manager (and as Tao suspects, boyfriend), it must've been really bad. He was doing a fine job of comforting him until Kris decided to open his unholy mouth and ruin it. 

     "You should really get laid, Mr. Kim. Go to bed with that Jongdae dude. He's taller than you, but he has a small , you know what I mean? You could totally top that guy." Kris gave sinful visuals, and Mr. Kim turned beet red and fainted on the floor. Tao and Kris's eyes widened, and Jongdae came rushing out. 

     "Minnie! Minnie! Oh God-  I knew it would have something to do with you." Jongdae accusingly pointed at Kris with his middle finger and proceeded to call the hospital. Kris raised both hands in the air. It wasn't his fault that he never got laid. Tao glared at Kris and Kris just smiled.

    "Wanna walk home with me?"

---------

Present day

     "I forgot how I got your number." Kris frowned and pouted. 

     "Are...are you pouting? HA. You're pouting. And I remember. It was the most disturbing day of my life. Remember? You used all those failure pick- up lines on me. Wait. Actually no that was when you were trying to ask me out." Kris began to laugh and pink tainted his cheeks.

    "Oh yeahhhhh...." *Que flashback music again. darararararaa*

 

---------

1 and 1/2 years ago

      Kris looked at himself in the restroom mirror and tried to build up his confidence. 

      "I'm hot. I'm hot, tall, and y. Tao knows it too. He's been around me for about 6 months. There's no way he DIDN'T fall for me yet. I'm too hot for this. ARGG- What am I doing right now?!" Kris ran a hand through his hair, making it a mess. He just didn't know what to do when it came to Tao. He quickly got dressed in navy blue jeans and a loose white collared shirt. He was literally trying too hard to try to look like he wasn't trying hard. Damn it all. 

      He walked to Tao's house and began to practice his lines. I mean, he's used them way too many times to forget. How many girls did he win over with this? Like. A billion. Actually, Kris never used pick up lines, because his face was good enough to have them girls and guys rolling in. Yep, 'cause Kris Wu just rolls like that. He said some random lines that came to his head.

     "I can make a cherry pop, but I wanna make your banana cream." 

    "Can you be my hamburger? So I can put my meat in between your buns."

    "You should sell hotdogs at our store 'cause you know how to make a weiner stand."

   "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." Where the hell did that come from? 

    Soon enough, Kris found himself in front of Tao's door. He nervously knocked, all the energy draining away from him. He tried to rebuild his confidence, but it knocked down back to zero when Tao opened the door, shirtless and hair wet from the shower. Kris's head fumed, and all the words just spilled out of his mouth with no order. 

   "Uhh. Hello Kris, a little unexpected, no?" Tao rubbed his hair between the towel, and his toned abs flexed. 

   "Uh. I-I just can't hold in my weiner stand." Kris blubbered. 

   "...What?" 

   "Can you be my hamburger so I can love like diarrhea." 

   "Uh..."

   "You should sell bananas at our store so I can make the meat pop." 

   "..."

   "My meat between your buns can make your cherry diarrhea." The steam came out of Kris's head like a robot going on overdrive. Tao, obviously confused (and flustered) threw his wet towel at Kris to wake him up. 

  "Kris, are you okay?" Tao came closer and Kris's eyes widened as he saw those pecks coming close to his face. 

   "Ahh-uhh-AUHHH- MY-I-WEINER-DIARRHEA!" Kris stood up and was trying to run but Tao grabbed him from the back. 

    "Are those what you call pick-up lines because you are miserably failing." Kris became beet red and looked down in shame. Tao began to laugh and gave him an encouraging pat on the back. 

   "I was trying to...ask you...out..." For once, Kris wasn't confident that Tao would say yes. Before Tao could answer, Kris bolted in fear of rejection. 

   "Kris! Yi Fan!" Kris ignored the shouts and ran back to his house and hid under his covers. What happened that killer who would have everyone's number with a simple smirk? The one who would have guys his feet with one raise of an eyebrow? He got ing run over by a Panda driving his brain mad, that's what. And now here he was, embarassed and hiding under covers like a 7 year old girl trying to get over the fact that her parent's said 'no' for the first time. When Kris heard the doorbell ringing, he sighed and walked over as slowly as possible. What if it was Tao. No, he wouldn't. I shouldn't raise my expectations. Not considering the fact that it could be Tao, he swung the door open. Kris's eyes widened and tried to close the door, but Tao's foot stood in place. 

     "Hey babe, do you work at subway? 'Cause you just gave me a footlong." Kris let go of the door as he saw Tao smirk.

    "How about I sit on your lap and see what pops up?" 

     "Uh...What.."

    "I want every bone in your body. Especially mine." 

    "Asdksfkhdf-Tao." Tao began to close in on Kris and Kris stuttered. 

    "Come on Kris, I thought you were the dominant one. Now I just feel weird." Tao pouted. Kris just stood there like a tree, and Tao released the final blow.

  "If I flip a coin, what's the chance of me getting a head tonight?" Tao raised an eyebrow and flipped a quarter. Kris smirked as he began to relax. He walked closer to Tao and stopped as the quarter fell on the floor.

It landed on heads.

 

---------

Present Day

     "I'm going to get a if I think of the rest." Kris poked Tao on the cheek. Tao laughed and put his hands on his chin. 

     "Remember out first date?" Kris froze for a moment and tightened his lips. 

     "Yeah, that was a disaster." Tao just laughed. 

    "It was funny!" 

 

---------

First Date

      "So. This is where you wanted to take me for our first date." Tao looked at Kris and tried to hold in his laughter. 

     "Yeah, so?" Kris pouted and Tao burst out laughing. 

     "What kind of cliche scene is this?! AHAHA. Really, a picnic in the park. I thought you were more spazztastic than that Kris. For a guy who invited me to have in a public sandbox, never imagined you to be this type of guy." 

      "I wanted our date to be like those cute stories, you know? Keep it in your memory for a while." Kris looked down, and Tao smiled. 

     "Alright, alright. I'm having fun anyway. By the way, I'll never let this go. I'll tease you about this forever." Kris just laughed along and set up the area where they were going to sit. They sat down and noticed that it was extremely dark. The Sun was covered by all the clouds, making it a gloomy atmosphere. Trying to lift the mood, Kris revealed his handmade sandwiches. Handmade. By Kris. He woke up an extra 5 hours earlier to get this done.(HOW FCKIN HOT IS THAT.) Kris was extremely proud from the look on Tao's face, and shivered with happiness. Or was it the cold. He expected everything to go right in this date; exactly as he had planned. But apparently, the Gods decided to rain on his parade. Literally. 

    "Is...Is it? Oh shoot it's raining!" Tao and Kris tried to pack everything as neat as possible, and went under a bench that had a roof over it.  They were drenched, but all their other items were semi-dry and they just shrugged it off. Kris frowned. This was not what it said in the weather channel. Stupid es. When do they ever get the weather right.

    "Oh good, the sandwiches are saved." Tao sighed in relief and took one out to eat. Kris stared closely at Tao, almost burning holes in his head. Tao shifted in his seat, a little uncomfortable. He brought it close to his mouth and noticed a green sauce on the edges. 

     "Does....Does this by any chance have Guacamole in it?" Kris nodded frantically, his neck almost snapping in half. Tao's excited face was replaced with one of guilt as he put the sandwich down.

     "I'm...I'm allergic...." If Kris had puppy ears, this is when it would've been chopped off and thrown on the floor mercilessly like his heart.

    "...Oh." He took the sandwich away and put it back in the basket, the rainclouds pouring over his head. Tao, feeling extremely bad, tried to cheer up the older man. 

   "It's okay though! We can buy ramen at the convenience store! You can make that for me!" Tao clapped his hands, trying to look enthusiastic. 

   "...Really? Let's do that then!" Kris immediately brightened up, and they walked quickly to the convenience store. After getting the hot water and selecting their cup noodles, Kris began to prepare it for Tao. As he poured the hot water, a stupid mutt rammed right into his leg making him drop his wallet, phone, and the hot water. The hot water spilled all over his "area" and Kris swore he would never have babies ever again. And even if it did remain alive, half of it would've been burned off by now.

   "AHHH- - MY CROTCH IS GONNA BURN OFF." Kris began fanning his crotch as tears began to form at the corner of his eyes. Tao found the situation amusing, but couldn't find it in him to laugh. He helped with the process and Kris had trouble moving without bursting into tears. He just had to choose this day to wear skinny jeans that were practically sticking to his skin. Feeling pissed off, Kris kicked his shoe at the dog and the dog began to growl, revealing his sharp teeth. Kris's eyes widened, as did Tao's, and they tried to run. Poor Kris, who couldn't move an inch without crying, tried to run but the dog was too fast. Tao, who quite frankly found the situation hilarious, ran away from Kris and watched from a safe distance. 

   "Let go you stupid mutt!" Kris tried to swing the dog away, but the dog bit into his pants and refused to let go. Kris desperately tried to run, but the dog clamped on his pants and pulled it off without hesiation. What? Oh yeah, he pulled it off. The dog ran off with his pants while pulling it all over the mud and Kris ran around half trying to cover his man part while walking his legs spread to walk without hurting his burn-

 

--------

Present Day

     "Oh god, no please don't- STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT." Kris pushed Tao to the side, while Tao began to laugh so hard that he fell on his knees. 

      "HAHAH THE STORE MANAGER HAD TO CALL THE COPS. OH GOD. HAHAHAHAHA." Kris scrunched his eyebrows and crossed his arms. 

     "I'm going to handcuff you tommorow night." Tao stopped laughing and stood up to wipe a tear off his cheek.

 "Oh god, you would, you bastard. Doesn't matter to me, though, 'cause I enjoy that ! And what's taking Baek and Chanyeol so long. I swear I'm going to start eating all the food." Tao grabbed the popcorn and stuffed some in his mouth.

    "I'll go check." Kris stood up and went into the bedroom, to find Chanyeol getting beaten up by his wife with a pillow. 

     "Ow-ow Baek!" 

      "KRIIIISSSSS HE CALLED ME FATTTTTTT HE-HE CALLED ME FATT!" Baekhyun began to cry and sat on his knees. 

    "I did not! I just said that he should start buying larger sized pants!" Chanyeol tried to defend himself. Kris raised an eyebrow and Chanyeol huffed. 

    "Alright Baek, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. If you keep crying and getting stressed, it's not good for the baby." Chanyeol began to place butterfly kisses on Baekhyun's stomach, and the crying soon turned to giggles. Tao came up, looking at the sweet scene. They looked at each other and smiled. Soon, they were going to have a family, like them. Just the thought made Kris's heart explode in a rush of happiness. He wrapped his arms around Tao's waist and pulled him close. 

     "I love you, Tao." Kris smiled as he whispered in Tao's ear. A rush of blood pooled Tao's cheeks and he smiled while placing a soft kiss on his lover's cheek. 

    "I love you too." 

 

 

-------

Authors Note: I LOVE YOU ALL <3 

Hehehehehe~<3 
Well, I just needed time to think if the baby should be a girl or a boy. MAYBE I SHOULD MAKE IT A BI-GENDERED BABY. HAHAHAHHAA. Oh god I'm such a creep. >u< I already have something in mind, but anyone wanna tell me what they'd like? And the pick-up lines *hangs head in shame* I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. Haha anyone want to tell me any pick-up lines they know XD Maybe i'll include it in the fic later <3 Thanks for reading~

and I realize that I'm overusing the hearts. BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I MUCH I LURV YOU ALL <3 <3 <3