*

He was so stupid.

Since he met Luhan, this is the first time he chose his immaturity rather than his love. Years before, he was selfishly in need to make Luhan happy, even promised Luhan to always love the blond and always stay where Luhan could see him. Yet now he was sitting alone at the laundry room balcony, eyes heavily stared at the night view of their neighborhood which already drowned in a peaceful silent.

The jealousy was long gone, only left the ache beating faintly in his heart. Still it’s uncomfortable to share his bad thoughts to Luhan, because he was afraid if it will create a new problem in between them and it will make his lover sad even more. That’s why he asked Luhan permission to stay away for tonight and he admitted it was a hard task to do, for both of them. He’d never really sleep without having Luhan inside his arms and Luhan will always be worry and nervous if he’s not going to bed yet. Except, they’ve got heavily sedated, or worse, killed.

No, Kai shook his head. Suicidal thought would never be welcomed into his mind cause falling in love with Luhan made his life worth of preciousness so he wanted to be less thinking of negative thought. He said it to Sehun, in one of their drinking time and the youngest asked why he can keep with Luhan antics for so long. Love, of course was on the top of his list, but there’s also nothingness, which means, he had nothing to afraid and nothing to regret because it’s nothing more than Luhan in his life.

‘You know, there are still Kyungsoo and me…’ He remembered Sehun said it with a light chuckle, ‘you can’t get rid of us from Luhan…’

That’s Luhan’s problem, not mine. At that time, Kai answered it with a laugh and even after today incident he’s still thinking the same about Luhan’s friend. They were family, Luhan’s only family aside him, no matter how jealous he was to their closeness, or how upset he was to them. So far he probably will ignore them more than he already did to keep his safe zone from getting entered again with their stupid love story.

He looked at the summer night sky and smiled.

Crap.

It won’t work.

Just when he thought he could have time by himself, love interfered and encouraged him to get up from the floor, then made him walked passed by laundry room door and found himself standing in the hallway of their shared home. He turned at his right, to the closed door of their bedroom, wondering if Luhan was there, crying alone in the middle of their bed because of his foolish ego. He could even hear the low sob of his lover, but strangely it came from the room across theirs, the guest bedroom which he intended to stay for the night.

Kai pushed the slightly opened door in anxiety, wondering if he turned insane for having an illusion of hearing his lover mourn or if it’s truly Luhan who didn’t care with his stupid boundary and decided to rush in.

“Luhan?”

Called him dryly, as he saw the back of his lover slumped on the floor, sobbing his name inside a pitiful sorrow which made him groaned mentally. Just how much tears he needed to see from Luhan to make him satisfied? He asked himself, while recalling the memory of today photo shoot and realized that his silly anger will only end with shame and regret. Now they’re both hurt because of it. He tortured Luhan with the loneliness and also wounded his pride for not be able protecting Luhan from tears.

“Hey, baby?” He grasped the tensed shoulder when the cry stopped abruptly in reaction of his touch and his soft whisper, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep by myself but I’m stupid and selfish and I just realize it…”

 “KAI YOU’RE TRULY A BIG JERK!”

What happened next was sure stunned Kai. The man only froze, when Luhan turned in flash and attacked him with such aloud shriek, then palms and toes slammed into his body as he got hit and kicked frustratingly by his lover. “I hate you!” When Luhan slapped him, hard, finally it startled him from his daze and both his hands unconsciously caught Luhan wrists as he pushed now struggling blond onto the rug and locked their legs until Luhan could barely move, beneath him.

“Stop it!” Luhan whined while still trying to move his restrained limbs, “You hurt me!”

“That’s why I say sorry.” Kai said breathlessly, ignoring the stinging pain in his left cheek, chest, everywhere, and focused his gaze on Luhan, “that’s why I tried to find you so I could crawl my way back to your heart again. So you can trust me again and so you won’t cry because of me anymore.”

Luhan eyes turned glassy again, “Kai…” said him longingly, so Kai leaned in and whispered on his trembling lips.

“Please Luhan,” he kissed Luhan, “please let me make it up for you, ok, sweetie? I love you so much, I can’t even set my heart at ease when you’re not with me…”

 “Then you should think twice before you leave me alone!” Luhan was still so bitter even after Kai smooched his lips a few times, the words came out in between gritted teeth, “I’ve became crazy with stupid delusion of you coming back with thousands plushies!”

It was unfair that even in such angry state, Luhan managed to be so adorable that Kai immediately placed kiss around the beauty’s swollen eyes and whispered a promise into Luhan wet skin, “all right baby, I’ll buy you thousands plushies later, ok?” he felt the struggle Luhan put on his restrain loosened but the eyes still glaring dagger at his. So Kai released his grip and cupped Luhan face. “You know I’ll do anything for you right?” He wanted to cry himself when he embossed the words right into his brain, over and again, so he won’t forget about today. He let jealousy poisoned his love for Luhan once. He won’t make the same mistake again,

“So please stop treating me as your enemy, Luhan, because I love you far beyond any definition…”

It made Luhan cried again.

“Oh Kai what should I do…” the blond covered his own face, “I really-really-really hate you right now…” He sniffled so hard it made him choked, so Kai shifted from him to give him some space,

 “But I also love you so much it hurts…”

Kai decided to kiss the wound up, by sealing the love in Luhan lips with his. Words not enough to address how sorry he was, so he will also do it with his body. No matter how Luhan struggled in protest towards his sudden action and accused him from making distraction by harsh and violent kisses.

“Stop it-umph…!”

If Luhan didn’t know him, he will be charged as , because the way he pull Luhan up the floor and then harshly slammed Luhan back to the wall, it probably left stinging bruise on their skin. But, as he stood in the hallway, with Luhan legs clung to his hips and Luhan hands dipped into his head, his mind turned blank, poisoned by the sweet fragrance of his lover, arousing him and filling him with more remorse, to know this beautiful person was getting hurt because of his stupidity.

“Kai, you’re a bastard!”

Kai grabbed both Luhan hands again when the blond refused to accept his kiss. Snatched one, two, then the third peck made his lips bleed from warning bite. But it didn’t stop him from dominating his lover because he was stronger and tougher. Didn’t slow down him from stripping the boxer off Luhan and even lift Luhan up to his shoulder as he marched downstairs, presenting to the world the plump which covered only in red thong.

“Urgh, I hate you…!”

Kai smirked darkly. It won’t work for the word became meaningless now. He let Luhan slipped down from him but instead running away the blond grabbed both sides of his face and kiss him back with, ‘hate you hate you hate you…’ 

“So this is how you say love?” Kai grabbed Luhan’s cheek-, teasing the beauty playfully in return to the sloppy and sticky dampening his face. Now they reached the glass dining table, Luhan giggled while leaning his back on the surface, spreading his legs to fit Kai in between and they both moaned when their clothed hardness met. Kai chuckled darkly when Luhan pushed him with disgruntled pout on the blond face.

“What’s wrong with you guys?!”

They both turned at pissed Kyungsoo, but then his attention averted to Luhan, who decided to answer Kyungsoo by stripping his thong at his brunette friend direction, along by giving a few cheap sway which only made Kyungsoo fumed in both embarrassment and anger, while Kai felt his own face getting hurt by grinning to wide at how ty Luhan could be.

“What?” Luhan glared at him while throwing the thong away, “get jealous again?”

Kai placed his hands in between Luhan’s hips, still grinning madly, “No I won’t be.” He leaned in to kiss Luhan tenderly, “because what matter for me is only you, Luhan…” and he whispered love, which made the blond expression softened. What’s started with a rough , now slowing down as they climbed on the glass table, kissing and hugging and grinding their pleasure carefully, tried to avoid making mistake and crashed the table into pieces.

Yet the fear also excited them to put more force, bit by bit to see the boundary of power of their dining table.

“This is so weird.” Kai laughed when they flipped and he laid on the glass, with Luhan on his stomach, staring at him in daze, “are we sure to-Ahhh…” but Kai wiped the hesitation away by grasping and caressing Luhan, making the blond bounced into his hand and steadily ing his hand, “oh my God…”

“So we have God now…” Kai snorted.

“Shut up!” Luhan giggled again, before the blond moved down, grazing his crack on Kai’s abs as Kai still jerked him. Then the beauty brought his own hands to his mouth and put a show on how he them seductively cause Luhan knew Kai loved it. “How many? Four? Five?”

Kai grunted lowly. He didn’t have time for preparation. Luhan hardly need it anyway, so he got up and hold Luhan, ignoring the question in Luhan gaze as he carried his lover to his final destination. The kitchen.

“Not here.” Luhan face turned pale when Kai placed the on the cabinet table, and stripped himself from his night shirt and pants, “Kai, Kyungsoo’s kitchen is off limit. We agree to this!”

“Jagiya…”

But Kai lowered his voice and glared at Luhan in warning as he grumbled, “Don’t call another man’ name when you’re making love with me.”

Luhan blushed in reaction to his threat, because they both knew he didn’t mean to scare Luhan, and only do threatening to spice up their time. So Luhan played along by nodding anxiously, before Kai slipped his hands to lift up his shirt on Luhan and began lapping the perky pink s with his tongue, renew his mark on Luhan skin in hope his existence in Luhan life will be everlasting.

*

I can't write full , too embarrassed /sigh/ how was it?