To all of readers who waited patiently, I'm terribly sorry for the lateness =_='

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Kai POV

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For Kai, love is like water, healing the thirst of longing by affection and care. He learned from the way his parents and sisters loved him, someday when he found the right person for him, he will need to understand the concept of sacrificed for prize. In the way he got the love, he needed to give something equal in return. At first, it disturbed him, to think that his dear heart will be taken by such anonym in exchange for love. He was afraid if this special someone will hurt him after he gave his everything.

However then, he met Luhan and his heart beat harshly it almost made him cut an open wound on his chest and throw it out right to the blond haired so he didn’t need to feel suffocated and didn’t have to lose his ability to breathe in front of Luhan.

‘Kim Jongin a.k.a Kai.’

His first impression of the blond haired, he thought Luhan was pretty, too pretty to have such unruly hair, too adorable to have sweat and dirt on face and too dreamy to be a boy. Yep, even though Kai knew it clearly the difference between boy and girl, he gave the boy his hand, in the way his dance teacher taught him.

‘May I have your name, my Princess?’

Even at young age, Kai was aware this love was special. In metaphor, Luhan could be any drink sent from heaven, satisfied his thirst yet it was addicting and Kai never had enough of it he kept comeback to taste more. Having Luhan around made his life complete, and loving Luhan was the reason he was alive, to the point he worshipped every single detail of Luhan, left and right, good and bad, angelic or demonic side, all of it inside his embrace and only became his, forever.

It made the years after passed without conflict, without jealousy, without care with other beings, it might be boring but Kai knew the true love had neither sensations nor scandals, only peace. And Kai really appreciated it to live in peace.

“Can I be Kai’s bride?”

Well, at least until today.

Kai took a deep breath when he found the source of his happiness frowned cautiously upon hearing Do Kyungsoo stupid words. He grasped Luhan’s arm gently to stop the sudden tense around the blond, while keeping his glare at their friends. They were Luhan’s friends, actually. Kai was just getting along with them.

 “This is a joke, right?” that’s what Kai wanted to ask, but Thank God Sehun became the one who hissed the words out. Probably Sehun should whip that insolent brat too, on the mouth, just so Kyungsoo could be a little more obedient. But again, it’s not Kai’s problem how others had to discipline their lovers. So he just hugged Luhan even tighter while kept watching in silent.

“Why?” Sehun asked in demand. It was always so easy to read Sehun, how the word expressing the burst of emotions in the younger blond’s face. Why did you suddenly say that? Don’t you want to be my bride? And when Kyungsoo tucked his head down, Sehun cleared his throat in disappointment, to the point Kai felt so pity with both of them.

What have I done to you to deserve this?

If those cloudy eyes could talk, then it would say something like that.

Kai always knew Kyungsoo and Sehun were stupid. Too stupid to understand their connection to each other, could only work their relationship by tying themselves to a tight bond, like a claim to a possession. They were too weak to protect their love yet too egoist to admit it. Too blind to see that there’s nothing wrong in their love life and they were just imagining things, which continuously poisoning their mind until they became too cautious with life. It’s not wrong, only it was tiring. And Kai sure he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life worrying about others, cause it was meaningless.

“I’m just curious how you will react.” Kyungsoo said in wary, as the black haired bride walked closer to Sehun, “I don’t really want him as my groom, either...”

The storm still visible in Sehun’s eyes, the man cupped his lover face and hissed lowly, “you know this is a bad joke, Kyungie.” But a hint of smile was there so Kyungsoo sighed in relief and smiled apologetically as Sehun carefully brushed the smooth cheeks, “I'm almost having heart attack here, so don't say something like that ever again.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry, Sehunnie.” Kyungsoo whispered.

  It’s a good thing that Kai didn’t sense any threat from them anymore. He felt Luhan slowly melted into his embrace, finally calmed down. It made him had courage to take a glance at his pretty lover.

“You scared?” Kai asked.

Luhan did afraid, it was readable from his ghostly-pale face, but the cutie pouted in displease instead. “Why would I?” Luhan said in denial.

Kai was just about to tease Luhan more, when their manager, Suho, appeared from the open door and smiled at everyone, “are you guys ready?” and while the man watching Kai helped Luhan to put on the high heels, Suho added with, “oh, by the way, Director will start with Sehun and Luhan couple photo-shoot.”

Great.

A long and sharp nail hammered through Kai’s chest and unconsciously made his jaw hardened.

What a perfect timing for disaster. His mind said in sarcasm as he kept repeating the cruel message in his head in hope he could just shrug it off as a lame joke. Yet it hurt him even more that he stopped holding Luhan’s hand and took a step back to make sure he was still standing with his feet.

“No.”

Kai couldn’t do anything with the blue shade reappearing in Luhan face, he was shocked too that he lost his ability to speak. Is it some sort of prank by fate? He asked himself as he let Luhan hastily approaching Suho to tell the man this is not their deal with the director. He could only watch as Kyungsoo and Sehun stood in each side of Luhan, demanding the poor manager to discuss it with the director again.

“I don’t want to have this kind of photo-shoot with Sehun!” There’s a high pitched shout from Luhan, the stylist noona surrounded him again to make sure his make-up still there, “because Kyungsoo will be with Kai and I’d rather die than seeing them-…”

“Luhan, enough!” Sehun growled at Luhan and it’s like the world around them stopped moving. Luhan glared at Sehun harshly when the younger blond hissed at him, “Kyungsoo said sorry, remember? He didn’t want to be with Kai either so you don’t have to be so dramatic about it.” Sehun was right. Even though Luhan didn’t mean to say those words, they all knew that Luhan was dying once. At that time, the rest of them tried so hard to make sure Luhan was still breathing and using all their might to bring back Luhan on his feet again. So if now Luhan could easily say ‘I’ll die’ it will only cause anxiety to hear. Even Kyungsoo held Luhan’s arm and kept repeating sorry for the ridiculous attempt to make a joke with Sehun’s heart.

“Fine.”

Suho sighed, after Kai only gave him a cold stare, when Kai was asked to control Luhan. The manager told Sehun and Luhan to come seeing Director with him, maybe if she heard how loud Luhan could complain, she’ll give up being a and let everyone happy. It’s not a bad idea, but Luhan turned at Kai, hoping the brunette would say something about it. Kai, still suffering from the bleeding wound in his chest, the only thing he could do without exploding his anger was giving Luhan an encouraging smile and a small nod.

“It won’t take long.” Luhan promised him and he should calmed down to hear that. But when Luhan and Sehun disappeared from his sight, Kai caught his own expression in the mirror and if he’s not seriously in pain right now, he’ll laugh it out at how dumb he looked.

.

It was perfect.

It’s not a happy wedding photo-shoot with smile and laugh, cause they were trained models so they became dolls. Their emotion had to get suppressed to minimum and their eyes became glassy, reflecting the flash of the camera. Yet, no one could deny how fit the bride to the groom or how sacred the atmosphere around them. Even Kai couldn’t watch it without jealousy and sure he hate the uncomfortable feeling clenched his heart. Oh, for the good sakes, that (Director) agreed before when Kai asked he would be Luhan’s groom. Sure, if this is a scene in drama he would risk their career by dragging Luhan out of here. But no, he stayed and endured the pain cause he knew Luhan suffered too.  That’s why he could still smile and blow a kiss to the cute ones, when Luhan took a glance at his direction. His cheesy action made Luhan cracked a smile for him, enough to cure the internal bleeding he had right now and set him into peace again.

However, he heard a depressing sigh from next to him and he saw Kyungsoo who constantly looked at the floor during the shoot, keep sighing while chanting under his breath, something like, ‘this is not real, Kyungsoo, he loves you, he only wants you, he owns you…’ and Kai really wanted to snort out loud at the stupidity he had to witness from this guy, all the time. He opened his mouth, almost throw a tease, a joke about Sehun and Luhan, or probably scaring Kyungsoo a bit with bad persuasion, but thankfully, he didn’t do it, cause Kyungsoo suddenly called for him.

“Kai?”

He wanted to pretend he didn’t hear but he indeed answering with a little ‘hmm’ which he regretted to do, after he heard Kyungsoo said more,

“Do you know Sehun used to love Luhan?”

It’s enough reason to melt his brain, to the point he turned stupid too and let the jealous succumbed him from inside, the rationality out of him. It left him with nothing aside the black hole and the stinging pain of reminder. He shouldn’t listen to Kyungsoo, but instead he let Kyungsoo talked, let his own self attacked by the childhood where he’s not there yet and let him understand the guilt kept in the older brunette. “Look.” Kyungsoo bit his bottom lips in grief, didn’t care if the lipstick he wore became messy as he pierced his gaze at Sehun and Luhan, “they looked so perfect together,” Kyungsoo sniffled an upcoming tears, “it’s like I’m just like a wrong piece to Sehun and if only I don’t met them, they would have their happily ever after.”

They would still met me, Kai thought mentally, and he was sure if they all could travel back to the past, he would do the same by meeting Luhan and falling in love with Luhan, over and again. It’s a too precious moment in his life that he never felt regret of it, even though they’re not a match made by heaven or not bonded with fate. Sadly, Kyungsoo didn’t aware of that so Kai had to do something. He might be dislike helping others, but if Kyungsoo kept going on like this, it could affect their relationship and the worst, the promise they keep for years, the family they built for Luhan will crumble and Luhan would go back into nothingness.

“So, are you happy for them?”

“Huh?” Kyungsoo looked insulted with his words, “do I look happy?” the brunette spat back.

“But they were Perrrfect.” Kai answered with sarcasm, “so dreamy, so angelic and so real, and you believed it so much, don’t you?” and when Kyungsoo glaring dagger at him, Kai shrugged it off.

“No, I don’t believe. I wish I don’t believe but Sehun loves Luhan and I…” Kyungsoo startled when a tears falling through his eyes. He cursed while seeking for sponge to get rid of it, yet he’s still had so much to say, “I’m just a substitute, an intruder. He kept saying love to me because I want it… I need it, I know it was selfish but I just love him so much I don’t know what to do with life if I don’t have him by my side anymore…” The make up lost it, surrendered to the river of sob, when Kyungsoo cried by himself and kept crying with Kai did nothing next to him.

It’s not Kai’s duty to stop the tears.

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“What’s wrong with you?”

At the break, Luhan was sitting on Kai’s lap and reducing his view to a he gladly enjoyed to kiss chastely. Next to them, there’s Kyungsoo who need to re-do the make up after the sudden cry and the bloating time so the Director had to change the arrangement by only having Sehun and Luhan in couple photos, and then taking individual shoot of the rest of them.

Kai hugged Luhan loosely, tried to crawl back from the deep wound he had and found his peaceful pace again. It’s crazy, how jealousy could turn someone’s life upside down and Kai hoped this is the last time he experienced it.

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo muttered hoarsely, making Sehun who stood next to the brunette grasped the narrow shoulder in worry, “I should be professional but I’m so jealous.” The pain and misunderstanding probably was too stubborn to be inside Kyungsoo but the good thing, this man never stop being honest even though it’s hurt. That’s probably what kept Sehun and Kyungsoo together, no matter how impossible their relationship was. “I don’t know, you guys just look good together I started thinking crazy, I’m sorry.”

“Aww, Kyungie,” Luhan hugged Kyungsoo’s head and although Kai didn’t appreciate how Kyungsoo face buried into Luhan’s made-up s, he made exception for today. “Don’t you think I wouldn’t do the same when it’s Kai and your turn?” and when both Kai and Kyungsoo have this strange look on their face, Sehun who stood in front of them took the obligation to explain. “We had a deal with director, you know. She knew our relationship and she said that visually, I’m better with Luhan. We’ve had transparency in our expression and it matched very well into the theme while Kai looked too wild and harsh, and Kyungsoo was too sharp. We were agreed to have couple photo shoot, but just us, then.” The youngest blond smiled at Kai and somehow Kai felt thankful, for him didn’t need to hurt Luhan in the same way Kyungsoo got hurt.

  “Why?” As if he’s not enough being stupid for today, Kyungsoo raised his face and asked Sehun with fear, “is it the pay back from before?”

“No.” Luhan cupped Kyungsoo face and stared at the brunette intently, “We didn’t want you to be forced to have photo shoot with Kai, especially me, I told it before remember? I don’t think I could share Kai to you, even though it’s just a job.” Kai should feel so content to hear Luhan’s words but somehow it bugged him with a question, if Luhan was aware he was jealous too. He didn’t want Sehun get near Luhan and he didn’t want to see them in the same frame, as couple.

“I don’t want to share Kyungsoo too.” Sehun added with a low mutter, “to Kai or Luhan, so now please let him go. No matter how pretty you are, you had a Luhan, you’re a threat.”

“Shut up you territorial bastard!” Luhan said but the older did released Kyungsoo from the hug and returned clinging to Kai, “how many times I told you, Kyungsoo was your lover not your pet. Give him a little freedom.”

Sehun took a seat next to Kyungsoo and circling his hand around Kyungsoo’s bare shoulder, caressing the brunette arms as he chuckled darkly, “why would I? He’s mine and nothing could change that.”

So did Luhan to me. Kai said under his breath, it was too low to be heard by everyone but he afraid Luhan could, judging at how the blond paused for a second, before returned in his usual gesture by pressing the puffy cheeks close to Kai's heart.

"Are you tired, Princess?" Kai carefully pecked Luhan's temple.

"A little bit." Luhan whined, "today was ."

Kai admit it was the worst day ever for the four of them so he pecked Luhan again and whispered a pray into Luhan's skin.

"Yeah, baby, it's almost over now..."

*

“Finally...”

Kai sighed as he sat at the end of his bed. He opened his trousers and chuckled lightly when there are other hands helped him with his clothes and another body kneeled in front of him, with bright blond hair and hazy eyes which now stared at him with longing. Kai let himself got stripped, until nothing left on him. He ran his hand into the blond strands when the head dipped in between his legs and plunged the mouth around his shaft.

“Luhan…” He combed his lover hair, “it’s over.”

Luhan pulled out and shook his head at Kai’s direction, “it’s not, Kai.” the blond held him and tried to him off again, but Kai motioned Luhan to get up and took a nice seat on Kai’s lap instead so Kai could hear more, “I don’t like living in worry, but I’m so worry right now. It’s the first time I saw you jealous, I don’t know what to do.”

“Luhan, it’s just a feeling.” Kai said, “It’s hurt but I’m okay cause it’s just temporary, it’s no match to what we had to face together for these last years.”

“I know, but it’s still dangerous.” Luhan touched Kai’s jaw carefully, “what if it happens again? I couldn’t risk losing you, Kai. I’ll die.” Even his own words made Luhan' s lips trembled and made those sparkly eyes turned glassy. Death, of course, was their only enemy. They don’t fear death, only aware to be prepared when the time comes. That’s why every second of their life matters and they tried to stick together as often as they could, being in love and happiness more than complaining about the whole world.

“Then, just to prevent from it happens again, would you like to answer me…” Kai pecked on Luhan lips gently, whispering his words right into his lover mouth, “what do you feels about Sehun?”

He knew the question was too stupid that he shouldn't ask it. He's not only make Luhan stunned in fear, but he also hurting his already clenched heart. 

And as if it's not enough, Luhan opened his mouth just to let Kai heard a question.

"Is that really matter?" Luhan asked, "I thought you said it's over."

At this moment, Kai should say yes and dropped the topic. But the anger he had to endure during the day was ready to spill and he thought if Luhan was here, with him, he will hurt Luhan, so carefully, he cupped Luhan face and whispered again, "I'm sorry." he didn't know why Luhan suddenly shedding tears or why Luhan tried to hug him but he kept Luhan still as he said, "you're right, I shouldn't ask that. But I'm so angry right now, so I ask your permission to let me sleep in guest bedroom, cause I don't want to accidentally say or did something bad to you."

"No," Luhan shook his head repeatedly, "No, no, no, I won't let you." he mourned childishly, "you know I never slept well without you..."

Kai smiled at hearing such a cute plea, "yeah me too. but I had to cool my mind, sweetie, please understand."

"No. I don't want to..." Luhan hugged Kai even tighter as the blond wailed, cause they both knew tonight loneliness will be their bedmates.

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Umm, how was it?