Trust

“No, no please don’t. It was an accident. I fell. Please don’t take my mom. She didn’t do anything, it’s my fault.” Haru’s voice trembled as she begged.

“Ms. we know you’re lying, we have proof,” the policeman said as he cuffed her mother’s hands.

“Mr. Kim here is our witness,” the policeman looked at an expressionless Jongin, who had his arms crossed and simply nodded agreeing to the policeman’s statement.

“No, he’s lying, he’s lying. Please Jongin tell them you are lying. Jongin tell them you’re lying,” Haru yelled and pulled Jongin’s sleeves, but the boy did not even spare Haru a glance. Haru kept shouting, when the policeman took her mother out of the front door.

Opening her eyes, Haru found herself drenched in her sweat, looking at her bedroom ceiling. *It was just a dream* Haru realised.  Relieved she tried to stabilise her hectic breathing. These frequent nightmares had haunted her, since Jongin’s statement last week and they had only let her sleep for a few hours every night. Her appetite had also disappeared, as a result of her being stressed out and nervous that her nightmare would come true. Haru tried to go back to sleep, since there was 3 hours till school started, but like all the other times, she just found herself starring at the ceiling until her alarm clock went off for nothing.

Skipping breakfast, Haru arrived at the school a bit earlier than usually. Since Jongin’s walkout Haru had not dared to contact him, being too afraid to confront him. During the pass week, she had been avoiding Jongin in school and only caught glimpses of him, in the hallways or at the cafeteria, when she had been on her way over to library to eat her lunch. Jongin had also not been all that eager to take the initiative to contact her, which only reinforced her belief that he was angry with her. It was also during this pass week that the effect of having spent too much time with Jongin, hit Haru - hard. She missed eating breakfast with him. She missed going to school with him. She missed texting with him. She missed him, but she would not risk letting her nightmare come true, just because of her selfish longings. Of course their lack of interaction did not pass unnoticed by their friends and questions such as 'did something happen between you two?' and 'is everything ok?' were accompanied by answers such as. The only good thing about the passing week was that Haru noticed that Jongin had begun to re-bond with Bo Ah. She had sometimes caught glimpses of them talking in the hallways and they had even eaten lunch together, which Haru knew, since Yejin during these times had joined her in the library.

Walking pass the school’s copy-room, Haru suddenly heard someone call out for her. Turning around she found Kyungsoo’s head sticking out from the room.

“I thought that was you. Why are you here so early?” Kyungsoo smiled.

“Oh, I…I just…Why are you here so early?” Haru not so gracefully avoided Kyungsoo’s question, as she walked towards him. What was she going to say? That she couldn’t sleep or eat because she was nervous and stressed out by the fear of her mother’s arrest?

“Oh, one of my journalists handed in late an article, which needs to be in this weeks edition. So here I am” Kyungsoo waved with the stack of papers, to emphasize his reason for meeting early this morning. Clumsily his grip around it was not strong enough, so the papers ended up on the floor. Laughing it off Haru helped Kyungsoo gathering the papers, but as she stood up too quickly a sudden dizziness surprised her and for a moment she did not know what was up or down and almost lost her balance, if it was not for Kyungsoo’s firm grip.

“Are you ok, Haru?” Kyungsoo asked worriedly, as she gained her balance.

“Yeah, I think I stood up too fast” Haru smiled assuring, though it did not convince Kyungsoo.

“Are you sure? You look really pale. I think we should go see the school nurse,” he then suggested.

“No, it’s nothing serious, I’m fine. I just stood up too fast” Haru tried again to explain, but was once again was met by an unconvinced Kyungsoo.

“Really, Kyungsoo, don’t worry about it.” She once again assured with a smile, which made Kyungsoo nod in defeat.

“Do you want me to help you with the papers?” Haru looked at all the papers Kyungsoo had picked up.

“Actually, if you don’t have anything to do then, it would really help a lot” he admitted and the two went into the copy room to finish Kyungsoo’s work.

“So are you ready for the weekend trip to Jeju Island this Friday?” Kyungsoo’s question reminded Haru about the trip, she had momentarily forgotten, as other worries had taken all the space in her mind.

“Is it this weekend already?” She accidentally wondered out loud.

“Don’t tell me that you’ve forgotten the one thing every second-year high schoolers of Do High has been waiting for since their 2nd year started?” Kyungsoo chuckled, when he realised that she really had forgotten about the trip, which was arranged yearly for the 2ndyears, serving as a short break from school, right before the dreaded 3rd year of high school starts, where the focus will only be on studying for the CATs.

“Must’ve slipped my mind” Haru embarrassingly rubbed her neck.

"But you're going, right?" Kyungsoo eyed Haru.

"I don't know" Haru answered truthfully. It was hard enough to avoid Jongin in school, where they only had two classes together. How was she supposed to avoid him on a trip?

"Well everybody seems really excited. So according to 99% of our school mates you're really going to miss out and I'm sure that the others want you to be there" he tried to convince her, but could see that his arguments had not hit the right spot.

"Why don't you think about it? Besides, I don't think that Mari is going to let you stay at home, when she hears about this." He smiled and got a nod as well as a smile in return, before they got back to work.

                Sitting at the lunch table three of the usuals had once again immigrated to the library, while a newcomer had joined the table.

"Mari you need to convince Haru to go" Kyungsoo said, as the theme had turned towards the Jeju Island trip.

"Wait, she's not going?" Mari asked surprised

"Oh yeah, that's right. She seemed really doubtful, when I asked last Monday about going or not" Bo Ah added, which made Kyungsoo nod.

"Same here, when I asked her this morning" Kyungsoo absentmindedly said as he remembered back to this morning.

"You met with her this morning?" Sehun asked. He had secretly been observing his friend, as soon as a certain petite girl's name was mentioned. Sehun had noticed that Jongin had started to form a little pattern during the conversation. Never did he look up during the conversation, but only focused on his plate of food. The first time her name was mentioned, Jongin had suddenly stopped his movements for half a second, only to take in a spoon of rice and vigorously chewed it. He had then kept on poking to his lunch with his chopsticks, but as soon as Sehun's question was asked, Jongin had then again stopped his movements, before he picked up a piece of Kimchi.

"Yeah, I was doing last minuet check ups for the paper, when I saw her. Now that I think about it, she looked really pale this morning" Kyungsoo remembered.

"What do you mean? Pale as in what?" Sehun asked, while he watched Jongin's movement stop, but never did he look up and visually pay attention to what Kyungsoo was telling them.

"Pale as in ill" Kyungsoo answered confused.

"She really didn't look good. At one point it seemed likes she was about to faint, but she didn't want to go to the school nurse when I asked her" Kyungsoo deliberated.

"She has been really off lately. Did something happen to her?" Mari and the others turned to Jongin for answers.

"How should I know!” Jongin unintentionally snapped, making him as well as his friends surprised. Taken aback by his own response and a bit embarrassed that he had let his emotions slip pass his guards so easily, Jongin did what he knew best and played his response off as it was intentional.

"Ok? I guess because I thought you knew, but I guess not. But can't you convince her to go on the trip then? I bet if you aske-" Mari could not finish her suggestion, before she was cut off by Jongin's answer.

"No" Jongin stated determined

"It's not like she's going to listen to me anyways" he added, sounding a little hurt, before he took in a new piece of kimchi and bitterly chewed it.

"Ok? I'll try then," Mari said, before they awkwardly moved on to another theme, since the other had put a rather heavy atmosphere around the table. Jongin could not help but sneak a look out of the window in a certain direction, which Sehun of course caught, making him mentally shake his head at his friend.

                Black, everything was pitch black. Slowly forcing her eyes open, Haru found herself staring at a white ceiling, which confused her more than it cleared things up, since she was supposed to be outside playing soccer for P.E. Sitting up Haru slowly realised that she was in the infirmary.

“How are you feeling?” a voice suddenly asked, making her jump, before looking to her right, where she found Sehun sitting in the bed next to hers.

“Uhm a bit dizzy, but other than that I think I feel fine.” Haru replied

“The nurse went to get some bandages. I think she’ll be back in a minuet” Haru nodded at the information.

 “But what are you doing here?” she asked curiously.

“I was in the basement to get some books for Korean class, when someone from Chemistry found it logical to run with glass test tubes. We collided and I was the lucky one to land on the broken glass tubes” Sehun looked at his bloodied palm, indicating the result of his fall. The nurse came in the room a bit out of breaths, her hands full of bandages.

“I’m so sorry, I’m late. The bandages was really hard to find” Sehun was about to assure the nurse that everything was fine and there was no need to be sorry, but he did not even managed to open his mouth, before the nurse interrupted him.

“Oh, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” She looked at Haru, who repeated the answer she had given to Sehun earlier.

“How much do you remember of what happened?” the nurse asked, as she put away some of the bandages.

“Actually…I don’t remember what happened. The only thing I remember is that I was playing soccer and felt a little dizzy and then suddenly I woke up here.” Haru admitted.

“You fainted sweetie. Has this occurred often?” The nurse sat down on her chair and rolled it and herself in front of Haru.  

"What about the dizziness?” The nurse continued to ask, as Haru had shaken her head to the earlier question.

"Uhm...yes, but only recently" Haru admitted.

"Have you been eating and sleeping normally and regularly during this time?" Haru was taken aback by the nurse's spot on question and could not help but wonder how she knew. Once again Haru honestly and a bit embarrassed for being caught, timidly shook her head.

"I thought so. I know that school is very important, but you students need to take care of yourselves too. Ok?" Haru let out a relieved sigh, realising the reasons behind the nurse's spot on question. Haru then smiled and nodded assuringly at the nurse. Before the nurse turned around to Sehun, she made sure that Haru at least stayed until the next class, even though Haru had unsuccessfully insisted that she was fine now that she had rested.

"Oh before I forget. How in the world did you manage to get those bruises on-" the nurse started to ask, as she rinsed Sehun's small cuts, but before she could finish her question she had unintentionally pressed a little to hard down on one of the cuts making Sehun instinctually turn away in pain. Coincidentally he caught Haru grab her right upper arm at the mention if bruises, with a little frightened facial expression. It was not her action that made him suspicious, but the ending of the nurse's question that made something click within Sehun.

"- your leg?" Sehun knitted his brows in wonder.

"Oh, must be from soccer" Haru quickly let go of her arm.

"From today? Are you sure? It looks like it's a couple of days old" the nurse wondered, as she continued to put bandage around Sehun hand.

"I guess I must've fallen or bumped into something. I'm a bit clumsy" Sehun watched Haru assure with a smile, making the nurse let out a little chuckle.

"Remind me to give you some ointment for that before you go" the nurse smiled, making Haru nod in response. Sehun could see the resemblance now. *I guess that's why she noticed so fast* The way she grabbed her arm, trying to cover something that was already covered and the way panic was painted on her face for a mere second. Everything that he had observed was a mirror of little Sera, whom he had visited earlier this week. Though Sehun noticed a frightening difference between the two. Unlike Sera, Haru had, like the undiscovered actress she was and apparently always had been, quickly, smoothly and successfully played it off as if nothing was wrong. Though he was very sure in his case, he wanted to have in confirmed. Deeming the situation unfit, since the nurse was still there and Haru had dozed off, Sehun decided to wait for tomorrow clear things.

                A knocking on his door told him that it was either Jongin or Mari outside the door. And surely Jongjn was indeed standing right there, with a smug facial expression, as Sehun opened his door.

"Wanna go clubbing?" Jongin asked, as he entered the apartment.

"It's a Tuesday." Sehun simply answered.

"So?" Jongin took of his slippers and went over to the refrigerator.

"So, we have school tomorrow" Sehun stated.

"So?" Jongin continued in a rather uncaring tone, as he took the apple juice from the refrigerator.

"I met Haru in the infirmary today" Sehun ran out of patience with his friend and watched as his simple information, made Jongin stop pouring the apple juice into the cup, with a frown appearing on his face.

"What does it have to do with me?" Jongin then continued his uncaring tone as well as apple-juice-pouring, before taking a big slurp of cup.

"What happened between the two of you?" Sehun asked annoyed by his friend's behaviour.

"I don't know what you talk about" Jongin carried on.

"Was it about her bruises?" Sehun's shot in the dark hit bull's eye, when he watched Jongin slam the cup down on the table, almost shattering it.

"She told you?!" Jongin shouted angrily, before letting out an unbelievable-scoff. He could not understand, why Haru had of own will told Sehun about her situation, when he had to find out by himself, by almost forcing it out of her.

"She didn't. It was a guess, so don't sound so hurt and jealous" Sehun said with a straight face.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Jongin's tone quickly went back to its indifferent state.

"You're not fooling anyone with your apparent indifference. What happened last weekend? What did you do?" Sehun repeated.

"ME?! I didn't do anything!" Jongin started, as he then began to recall what happened that day. He could not help but relive how useless and frustrated he felt that day, as he told Sehun everything that had happened. 

"I don't understand, how she can’t see that it's not her fault? I don't understand why she can be so blind?" Jongin sent his hand through his hair and roughly ruffled it up.

"What I don't understand is how you can be so blind?!" Sehun frustratingly looked at his friend.

"What?! How come I'm the blind one? I just tried to help her." Jongin looked confusingly back.

"You tried to help her by threatening her and after that leaving her alone on the stairs, only to completely ignore her the whole week after? Well how is that going for you?" Sehun sarcasm ran through the room

"I didn't threaten her-" Jongin started.

"So it wasn’t a threat when you told her that if she didn't go the authorities you would? Because it sure does sound like one to me! Do you know that she hasn’t been able to sleep or eat properly because of you?” It was not Sehun’s sudden outburst that caught Jongin off guard, but it was the last information, Sehun had decided to throw in that stabbed Jongin within.

“How do you know th-” Sehun didn’t know – or at least he was not certain, but something within him told him that Haru’s lack of sleep and appetite had something to do with Jongin and that day. It was not based on cold hard facts, but on something Sehun valued just as much - his gut feeling. Sehun usually did not act, when it was his gut feeling that was the foundation of his argumentation or proof, but he could not help but feel frustrated at his friend’s actions. Though Sehun must admit that another reason behind linking Haru’s current condition and Jongin’s actions was to give Jongin a self-earned and well-deserved bad conscious. Swept off by the tense atmosphere, Sehun went on with his rant, aiming to get everything out of his chest.

“God Jongin! How can you be so simple minded and insensitive? Try to look at it from her point of view. For years she has been told that everything was her fault, and for years that’s what she has and still believes in.  How could you believe that you, who’ve only known her for a couple of months, could within a couple of minuets and words make her turn away from what she so firmly believes is the only truth? How could you think that a threat aiming to arrest and take away her mother – the only family she feels she has left – would be the answer? And then you dare to have the audacity to be angry with her, because she wasn’t instantly swept off by your words and did what you said without any question?" Sehun let out.

“I’m not angry with her,” Jongin admitted

“You sure does show it in a weird way then. Why don’t you try to explain to me how leaving her on the stairs and ignoring her for a whole week, right after you threatened her, isn’t an obvious sign of anger?” Sehun irritatingly furrowed his eyebrows.

“I’m not angry, I’m ing frustrated Sehun! What would you have me do? Every time I see her, every time I think of her, I can’t help but wonder if she’s hurt or if she’s going to be! I can’t stand and passively watch her get hurt or hope that things don’t escalate. But that’s the only thing I can do, because SHE. DOESN’T. TRUST. ME. So tell me Sehun! What was I supposed to do?” Jongin threw it back at his friend, almost as sarcastically as the questions he had gotten earlier. Behind the question’s frustration, sarcasm and anger though, Sehun did catch a snippet of helplessness and genuine wonder.

“That right there. That’s your problem Jongin. Can’t you see that this isn’t and has never been about you and how you feel? This is about her, and you need to understand that if you want to be there for her and help her get through this. So you need to figure out if you want to be there for her or not. And when you finally come to your senses. I suggest you pull yourself together and actually show her that you care for her, as much as you do. Because the you’ve been pulling up until now is harming her more than it has done her any good.” After a couple of minuets of silence, Jongin simply claimed that he needed to get some air, before he almost ran out of the front door, leaving behind a sighing yet relieved Sehun, as he was more than certain that Jongin had taken in all the things that had been said and now just needed time for himself to swallow it and figure things out.

Inhaling the fresh air, Jongin was happy to get out of Sehun's apartment. Angrily, he sent a little rock flying down the street with a kick. Letting his fingers run through his hair, as well as Sehun's words through his mind, Jongin began to walk with no destination in mind. Having been walking for 15 minuets or so, Jongin suddenly stopped up, as he realized where he was heading. Like all the other times for the past week his mind and body had subconsciously guided him towards one specific person. Whether it was a simply glance or a slip of mind, they had all seemed to lead towards Haru. As he replayed the discussion he had with Sehun for a 1001 time, Jongin finally admitted to himself that Sehun was more than right about the complete and utterly insensitive jerk he had been to her. And for that he needed to apologize - as soon as possible. Before he could take a step towards his destination that was now clear and wanted, Jongin suddenly became aware of the time of day, as the streetlights . Wanting to apologize and talk to her face to face, Jongin turned around and headed home, determined to be there for math class tomorrow.

                The next morning Jongin was met with disappointment. Wanting to catch her right before school started, he had waited in vain for her at the corner of the street, close to her house. Waiting for another 20 minuets or s