‘sehun?’, I wondered what happen to him that he had to be hospitalized. “urmm, hyung. What happened?” “I don’t really know what happen but we can’t get in touch with him after my birthday party. You remember right? At first we thought maybe he was too drunk and was sleeping at home. Knowing that kid, I know he totally hate it if anyone disturb him when he was drunk. We thought that maybe he’ll call us back in a day like how it usually is. But this time is different, so  we got so worried that we tried to call him many time for everyday last week. But we just can’t get in touch with him. Baekkie also started to get anxious since he never act like this except when..”chanyeol hyung suddenly stopped and he looked at me. “since?” I asked again but he kept looking at me with that face when he accidently said something wrong. I got a feeling that I know what he was going to say. How can’t I? When gege had been telling stories about him with sehun. “since luhan is it?”. And chanyeol hyung look at me with a shocked face. “how did you know about luhan?” “gege told me the same day he met sehun in my house.” “ahh, yixing. Okay. but I guess you just heard his side of story.” Upon seeing the look on my face he continued. “ before you make any conclusion about sehun. You should hear his side of story too. Your gege must had said that luhan died because he caught sehun cheating on him with his ex boyfriend. Well, that actually is not true.” 

“the ex boyfriend of sehun is baekkie. As you see, baekkie is my boyfriend. Sehun isn’t cheating on luhan. You see the reason why we, I mean me and baekkie always worried and thinked about sehun well being is because we are so thankful. You see the day when my parent found out that I’m dating with baekkie, is the day when he disowned me from his family. I had no money and no house to stay.  Baekkie too have no one to turned to except for me and sehun. You see baekkie was disowned a week after we get together as couple you know. Since then, I took care of him and he lived with me. but with this situation we totally had no one to asked for help. We might even sleep outside if It hadn’t been that sehun was around there and saw us. He helped us when he found out about our situation. He gave us house to live and money to start new life. I guess the house that he give us was the house that luhan know about. A few month after me and baekhyun start to live there, luhan came on the day that we were celebrating my birthday. It just had to be baekhyun who answered the door. Of course the guy know my baekhyun. Since they went to the same school you see. And he know well enough what my baekhyun used to mean to sehun. Luhan ran away right after he saw baekhyun. And after that he got into an accident that killed him. Sehun was there you know. When luhan dies. It was hard to get him to work again. Since then, we become so anxious if he didn’t answered our call. Don’t know why but we just did.”

“when I said it was hard, I meant it. I guess seeing the one you loved died infront of you was so painful. He even tried to kill himself a couple of time. And everytime when we stopped him, he would say the same thing. That it’s his fault that luhan died. And that  he don’t deserved to live anymore. well, your gege was another one who thought of the same thing. That it’s sehun fault that luhan died. He don’t even allowed the poor guy to visit his wife grave. Pity him.” 

I don’t know what to say. After hearing about that from chanyeol hyung, I can’t help but feel sympathetic at sehun. Poor him. It must been so hard to overcome that. I can’t  believed gege could be that cold. How could he do that? I mean even if it’s true that sehun cheated on luhan which is not true anyway, how could he stop sehun from seeing his wife grave. I don’t know what right anymore. I guess gege really believed that is true. Seeing how cold and hateful he sounded like when he told me his side of story. I wondered what he would do if I told him about this.

After listening to chanyeol hyung stories, I can’t bear to see gege. So I went to a nearby hotel and stayed there. I guess I got him worried as my phone keep ringing this past few hour. I don’t want to. I just can’t . I don’t know what I would say to gege if I talk to him right now. I can’t talk to him but at the same time I can’t make him worried about me. there’s dad. I’m sure he’s so damn worried about dad. I mean this hasn’t been the first time that dad had minor heartattack. Since I can’t talk to him.. I’ll just text him so that he know that I’m alright. Right after I unlock my phone, it ring again. But this time it’s not from gege. It’s from him. The handsome looking guy that I get to know at chanyeol hyung party… Kris.

Little by little a smile crept on my face.