“The closest thing to being cared for is to care for someone else” – Carson Mcullers

Jiyong’s hands were shaking, his phone was in his right hand close to his ears and the sound of the phone’s ringing to the other side was haunting him. Part of him didn’t want Jessica to answer, and if she didn’t do so in a second, he didn’t think he could go through with waiting.

The ringing suddenly stopped, along with Jiyong’s heart for a slipped second.

So is this what they mean for heart skips a beat?

“Hello? Jiyong?” her voice came through the phone, he bit his bottom lip in nervousness. He wanted to hang up, he really did. But his hands wouldn’t let him.

“Are you going to say something or…?”

“No, I-I just wanted…to check up on you” he whispered the last part, embarrassed. This wasn’t like him, he kept telling himself. It wasn’t like him at all.

He looked around, realizing he was on the street still so he started walking on because he swore that if he stood at the same spot, he’d probably faint right there and then from anxiousness.

“How sweet. Your crush on me is becoming worrying, Jiyong-ah”

The irony of her words amused him, he let out a sarcastic laugh, wondering if she even knew anything, the extent of feeling she made him feel, even he didn’t know the exact words to describe it. He just knew that it wasn’t normal. That it was different.

If only she knew how close she was.

“If you’re so worried, come over then, I’m bored” he wasn’t sure he heard correctly, so he just replied with and “W-what?” aware that he probably sounded so stupid, but his mind felt like it was in a whole completely different world.

“You should feel honoured! I’ll text you my address, all right?” she just hang up on him, like that without even a bye, without even asking if he had other plans or something. What kind of girl does that? He thought, shaking his head at the phone.

***

Jessica smiled at herself, holding her phone still. Her house was quiet, only Jessica’s breath could be heard. She wasn’t used to being by herself, she felt uneasy.

Usually, she could hear sounds of knife cutting against the kitchen surface or an electric mixer going on, sign of her mother being there. If she was in a good mood, her mother would let Jessica help her out, but Jessica was only allowed to do small tasks, such as mixing or cutting as the young girl was completely disastrous in the kitchen. But that day, it was just her, in the empty house.

Her mother left a couple of hours before, after a huge argument between the two. It was so unusual, so strange because they never argued before, it had always been Soojung and her, never Jessica.

“I’m disappointed in you, Jessica”

Those words kept lurking around her mind, unable to think about anything else so when Jiyong had called her, she was glad.

The doorbell took her attention away from her thoughts, she walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Jiyong.

“Hey, you were fast! Come on in” Jessica offered him a pair of slippers and walked to the kitchen, Jiyong a few steps behind her while he looked around.

Her house was bright as the light came through the huge glass window of the living room and corridor, family pictures hung on the walls. He stopped to look at a huge picture, just before the living room, portraying her parents, Jessica and another girl who looked quite similar to her.

“Oh, you have a sister?”

He realized at that moment, that he didn’t know an awful lot about the girl he liked. They talked, sure, but it was more joking around each other and day-to-day talk, some things would slip out such as anecdotes about funny things that mostly Jiyong shared, but Jessica was more of a closed door, not letting him in yet so he wondered, about her thoughts, her feelings, her family, everything, he wanted to know.

“Yeah, she’s two years younger but she goes to an all-girls’ boarding school” she casually said, her voice not betraying any feelings, reminding Jiyong of his own sister. How could she be so nonchalant about her sister not being with her? He cried when Dami, his older sister, moved out for college.

“Do you not miss her?”

Jessica shook her head, turning around, she gave him a little smile “Drink?” she asked instead, switching subjects meaning that he wouldn’t get any more than he got about her sister.

He sat down at the corner of the big ruby coloured sofa, he looked around while Jessica left him for the kitchen. The huge television was hanging on the wall in front of him, DVDs and books below it, organized thoroughly. Everything was so clean, not even a sign of dust.

“My mum loves cleaning, it’s her hobby” he heard Jessica say, she put a tray on the black glass polished table, two glasses on it and orange juice and water on the side.

“Hobby? Oh, that’s nice” he replied, not really knowing what to say. Was he always this awkward?

She looked at him, raising her eyebrows. That’s when he noticed. She had been crying. The signs were subtle, but there was a little redness in her eyes, she wasn’t as carefree as she was making out. Knowing Jessica’s personality, Jiyong knew that she would rather die than cry in front of him again so he ignored it, he decided not to mention anything, unless she was going to do so herself.

She gave him a glass of orange juice, sitting on the round side of the sofa, crossing her legs.

“Jiyong?” she quietly called him, sipping on her drink.

“Mh?”

“Thanks for coming.”

He grinned at her, his heart beating irresistibly, then he was sure.

He made the right choice by calling her.

***

Jiyong was sprawled on Jessica’s couch, his head leaned softly on the header, his arm dangling back and forth. Jessica only realized that she was the only one that kept watching the movie when the titles came up, she turned around and she was faced with a sleeping Jiyong. His legs were nearly touching her hips, as she was laying on the front side of the couch. It was a funny sight as his legs were a bit bent because he didn’t want to put his legs on her. Always thinking of someone else before, that was Jiyong for you. The lights were turned off as Jiyong referred to it as “cinema effect”.

She stood up, putting her popcorns on the table, she went back to her room taking a blanket from the cupboard and quietly went back, covering the boy with it. Unconsciously, she brushed his hair to the side, she sat on the little table and continued petting his hair, her hand dwelling on his straight loose strands that kept hanging on his face.

Her eyes wondered to the clock, it was already nine o’clock but her mother was still not back, reminding her of the old days where her mother used to storm off after a fight with Soojung, her younger sister. It never happened with Jessica, they never fought so was this time her fault? Guilt surrounded her, she didn’t like her mother being outside for so long, it worried her. Should she go look for her?

She took her phone and started dialling her mother’s number when she received a text from her first, beating her to it.

Sorry about before. I need some time alone, I’ll see you tomorrow honey xx

Jessica pressed her lips together, a bitter smile on her face, a tear escaping her eyes. If only she didn’t get into that stupid fight, she wouldn’t have gotten suspended. They wouldn’t have gotten into that argument, how stupid could she have been?

She turned off the TV, hungry, she started thinking what she could eat, looking through the dispensers for a snack. Wouldn’t Jiyong be hungry? She thought, but there wasn’t much she could do about that, she was a horrible cook so cooking was exuded as an option.

Dialling the number of the closest jajangmyeon delivery service, Jessica smiled at her choice, it had been a while since she had any. Her mother didn’t like take outs so she only had them with Tiffany or whenever she went out for a class outing.

“What do I do with you now?” she whispered to an apparent sleeping Jiyong.

She got closer to tuck him in better when a hand grabbed her arm, “Boh!” he said, his voice rough from the sleeping, scaring Jessica, she screamed.

He shouldn’t have done that but he forgot how loud Jessica could be when she was taken by surprise, but his ears soon remembered, as he high pitched scream completely killed his hearing. He probably had to get a hearing aid soon, he was sure.

“What the hell, Jiyong!” she hit him on the chest, annoyed.

“Oh, my ears…” he managed to say, still shaken. Jessica smirked, amused.

“Ha, karma’s a , right?”

Jiyong shook his head, stretching his arms, numb from the sleep, he saw the blanket falling off him completely.

She covered me? He couldn't help but smile from ear to ear, thinking that, after all, Jessica did care about others, more than she let on.

***

An entire Jisica chapter! :)

Sorry for the wait.

Grammar errors as I just wrote it and not edited it.

Hope you guys like it.

Jessica, get well soon! 

Minnie xx