“And to see a man beaten not by a better opponent but by himself is a tragedy”- Cus D’Amato.

“Please, do it for me?” Jessica pleaded Tiffany, putting her hands together as to beg her.

“All right, fine. I want the pink dress you bought last week though”

This better be worth my dress, Choi Seunghyun owes me big time, Jessica thought, not really wanting to give up her precious dress.

Tiffany could do with a distraction, the past weeks had been quite stressful because of the tests, and Jessica knew that her friend probably overdid herself with the studying because of her high standards.

Seunghyun was already sat at the back of the library, away from strangers’ eyes, he put all of his textbooks at the side of the table, a pen in his hand and notebook, he was so concentrated in writing that he didn’t even hear Tiffany sitting down next to him, reading his work.

“Am I supposed to laugh

As if nothing’s wrong?

Each day passes through

Hey, I haven’t called you in a while

I just called to say I’m sorry

And to say I’m even more sorry”

“Is this what you’ve been doing instead of studying?” Tiffany asked close to his ears, reading through it. He jumped by the surprise and instantly closed the notebook, chucking it in his bag.

“Oh, it’s you… are you the tutor she was talking about?” he turned his head, facing her.

It was a while since Seunghyun looked properly at her face but he could immediately spot her tired eyes before anything else.

“Let’s start with Biology first, all right? We’re doing movement, can you tell me what types of movement there are?” her tone changed from the usual, it was the tone that she used in class or with other students.

That was Tiffany Hwang, the president, not Tiffany Hwang, the girl he got to know beneath the surface therefore, he straightened his back, opened the textbook and decided that, if he wanted to keep the promise to not be retained this year too, Tiffany was his only chance. She was taking it seriously, he owed it to her and to himself, especially himself.

“Ehm… diffusion?”

That was how their tutoring session went on, Tiffany asking him question, making Seunghyun write notes or copy hers, they looked at the homework he hadn’t done, time went so fast but Seunghyun felt like the pieces were finally coming together.

“So, you just need to think of it as a hill. Down the hill, there are four molecules, but the concentration needs to be equal, so what happens then?”

“Two molecules in each side?” he answered, tentatively.

“Exactly! But, that can’t happen without energy right? So active transport, uses energy, to go from a low concentration, to a high concentration. Down the hill is low, so it goes up from there, you got it?” Seunghyun nodded, while dropping down what he just heard.

Tiffany took a deep breath, explaining things was harder than she thought, but she was getting the hunch of it. She didn’t think Seunghyun was thick, at all, but he lacked the confidence to learn things.

If he didn’t understand something, he refused to open himself up to learning it, which probably was the reason he failed last year.

“Let’s take a break” she stood up, stretched her arms and she slowly walked out.

Seunghyun also stood up, following her as his legs were on the verge of falling asleep and his brain felt overworked, he deserved at least 5 minutes off, he told himself.

Tiffany walked through the small alley besides the library, wanting a bit of privacy so she could smoke in peace. It had been two days since she last had a cigarette, she didn’t know how she had survived till then.

Seunghyun observed her, taking out his own cigarette, but his gaze was on her, thinking. Although he spent a lot of time in school with Tiffany, they didn’t know anything about each other. He did prefer it that way, because if he asked her things about herself, that’d mean that he had to talk about himself too, that was too bothersome for him.

He could tell that there was something different to her, the way her attitude changed based on the situation, he didn’t like that but he couldn’t help being drawn to it.

Tiffany didn’t like the way he observed her, he looked at her and she felt stripped of everything, as if he could see through her every layer that she desperately tried to keep to herself. Although she didn’t like it, she found with time that she didn’t mind as much as she thought she would because she wasn’t the only one with layers between the two. They had clear boundaries, neither of them was to cross them, because, who knew what would happen if they did?

Still, there was something that Seunghyun kept wondering about.

“When did you start smoking?”

Honestly, she had been waiting for the question, surprised that he didn’t ask her that time on the rooftop.

“Mm, last week of middle school, so one year and a half I guess” she shrugged her shoulders, thinking back at that day she found a packet of cigarettes in her brother’s room. She took some out to prank him, but curiosity took the best of her so one day, she lighted one. Before realizing it, she became a smoker.

“How many a day?”

“Three. Morning, lunch and after school”

Seunghyun shook his head, wondering how many other parts of her life she controlled, she constricted herself to this regime where she had to do this and that, he asked himself if she ever lived and did something out of control. But then again, he thought, smoking was probably a big exception to her controlled lifestyle. He suddenly felt sorry for her, she was her own enemy and that was the worst thing of all.

“Shall we make a bet?” Seunghyun asked, a twinkle in his eyes. Oh, this was going to be so good, he smirked by the thought.

“Mh, explain” Tiffany slightly interested, she dropped the finished cigarette on the floor and looked at him, curious. It couldn’t be good, not if he thought of it and certainly not if it involved her. But Tiffany knew that no matter what, he’d probably find a way to involve her.

“If I get 90% in the retake tests in three weeks, you have to quit smoking.” He simply stated, like that was the easiest thing in the world to do. The girl snorted, thinking how she could have taken him seriously even for just a minute.

“In all of them? You can’t even get forty percent, and you’re talking about ninety?” she scoffed.

“Of course not, in half of them. You can choose the subjects if that makes you want, I don’t mind”

Tiffany shook her head, not even regarding the idea one bit as she knew it’d be impossible, it was an easy win on her side. There was no point in it at all.

“Hang on, let me put it in another way. Basically, I will get at least ninety percent in six of the twelve tests. And you quit smoking. Win-win”

“No. You’re gone crazy and who says I want to quit anyway? Also, what do I get if you fail? That’s what I’m interested in actually”

Seunghyun rolled his eyes, of course she’d be interested in her own benefit, and he was talking to Tiffany after all. He didn’t really care whether she smoked or not, it just bothered him, a little bit, not much, there was just a tiny bit in him that didn’t actually like the fact that she smoked but he couldn’t say that, it was a hypocrite move. She was also helping him in her own free time so he thought it’d be only right to help her out as well with the nasty habit first, then he’ll tackle her controlling problem later because that was getting on his nerves as well.

“I don’t know, what do you want?”

“I don’t really want anything, not from you anyway but I don’t think it’s fair that I’m the only one that has to quit”

“Then we can do it together! If I pass my tests with flying colours, we’ll both have to quit, if I don’t, then it’s just me who has to quit” Seunghyun grinned, feeling proud of his proposition.

“What do I get from you quitting? I lose my smoking buddy”

“Oh, we’re buddies now?” he , starting to walk back to the library.

“Shut up, Choi”

***

Jiyong was the kind of guy that always gave his best at everything he did.

He thought that if something had to be done, then it should be done the best way possible or you might as well not bother, that was his opinion.

Most of the times that was a good thing but sometimes, it backfires and he ends up pushing himself too hard.

That was what happened that week during physical education.

It was tournament week, every class against each other in all sorts of sports such as 100 metres, high jump, pole vault, football and basketball to name a few and some students were in participating in more than one sport, and one of those people were Jiyong and Jessica.

Of course Jessica was playing football, it was her sport and as a member of the school’s football team, she couldn’t not participate.

Jiyong wasn’t the best in sport but he wasn’t bad, average with some luck at times which was enough to be asked to play in the long jump, medley relays and basketball.

These events where something that each student looked forward to as that meant lessons were off for a week and a bit of competition never hurt anybody, right? False.

It was already the third day of events, Jessica pulled her sweaty hair out of the bun they were in and washed her face in the public taps of the school with her teammates after the third match of the day, she was exhausted so when that that was her last event for that day, relief wasn’t the word to describe what she felt.

She swore that if she run any more, her legs would probably detach themselves from her body. That was how tired she was.

“Jessica! We can’t go home, we need to stay for ‘moral support’” Yuri, her teammate and friend, shouted at her when Jessica was heading towards the school gates.

“Moral support? Am I a cheerleader, they can f-“ she started shouting, using words that probably scarred the little freshman for life as they walked past her in their sweaty sport uniform.

“Ms Jung! Language! And for God’s sake, what did I say about make up?” a teacher interrupted the stream of the girls’ curses, amusing students.

“Oh, how the hell am I wearing make up? I just washed my face, it’s bloody lip gloss!”

“Excuse me?”

Jessica just rolled her eyes and with the sides of the dirty shirt she had in her bag wiped her lips and stormed inside the building, going towards the gym.

“Wait for me Jessica!” Yuri shouted behind her, dragging her bags, tired the same.

The gym was full, not surprising the girls at all but she didn’t care, she pushed through the crowd and if a student said anything, a simple glare was enough. They spotted some members of their hang-out group on the back benches.

“Taeyeon! Why are you guys sitting so far back? You can’t see anything” Jessica asked, sitting next to a blonde.

They were the same age, her and Taeyeon but luck had it that they never shared a class together for the past two years but they got friendly as the group formed together. They were both popular, the popular girls that everyone looked up to, but Taeyeon never really cared about status that much, she was too busy listening to her music and drawing to pay too much attention on what others thought.

Jessica liked her a lot, there were times where she needed a break from Tiffany, and Taeyeon was the breath of fresh air as they were quite similar in some things. They used to be called as the blonde trio, her, Jessica and Hyoyeon but now the title wasn’t possible anymore. She wasn’t too much into partying like Hyoyeon and Sunny were, and not too into sport and diet like Yuri was. Perfect, right?

“You don’t get hit up here and” she indicated her ears, pulling up a few strands of her hair, showing her white earphones. Jessica nodded and took out the girl’s earphone, putting it on her own ears, she smiled.

“Jung? Nice score earlier by the way” Taeyeon winked and closed her eyes, uninterested in whatever was going on.

Jessica shook her head, Taeyeon was the only one to call her by surname and sometimes, Jessica called her Kim too and it was then she realized, she missed having her friends around. She hadn't been around them as much, she wasn't sure why but she was so wrapped around her own life to miss out on her friends’.

She looked at the basketball match going on, not really caring until her eyes caught onto a short boy with the ball.

“Oh, Jiyong is playing…” she said out loud, more to herself than someone else.

“Jiyong? Kwon Jiyong?”

“Thought you were sleeping?”

Taeyeon shrugged her shoulders, the song they were listening to ended, another one started playing.

“One Direction? Kim Taeyeon, is the world ending?” Jessica teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Actually, the world is ending, want to know why? Jung actually likes someone. What happened to the ice princess?”

“I don’t like anybody, for your information, thank you very much”

“Mhm” was the only thing Taeyeon replied with, a little smile playing on her lips, annoying Jessica. She didn’t like Jiyong, why would she? She’d just break his heart, Jessica knew that. She was sure.

As the match went on, Jessica started getting into it, cheering on the boys of her class, Yuri laughing at her, thinking back to the girl’s worlds of “not being a cheerleader”, Jessica Jung was a walking contradiction.

Suddenly, everyone gasped and some stood up, shocked. Jessica stood up too, looking through the crowd to see what happened in her second of distraction, she saw someone on the floor.

“Is that Jiyong? Did he get hurt?” she murmured, getting out of her seat.

“You sure you don’t like him?” Taeyeon took her hand, stopping her from going down and check on the guy.

“Kim Taeyeon. He’s a classmate and a friend, who helped me a lot and more importantly, who is hurt. So if you’d like to let my hand go, or I could show you what my hand can do” Jessica raised her eyebrows and pulled her hand.

“Okay. Go on, he’s just a classmate. Lead him on, make him think that you care about him, that he might even just have a slight chance with the almighty Jessica Jung. Why not, go down and ask him if he’s okay, take him to the infirmary next and why not help him with his bruised leg? What would Jessica Jung care? She doesn’t, does she Jessica?” Taeyeon asked rhetorically, her words filled with sarcasm and a vein of disdain.

“Just go and know that the more you don’t think of your actions, the more you’ll hurt him.”

Jessica could only sigh, she had nothing to say in her defence, as much as she wished she could tell Taeyeon how wrong she was, she couldn't.

Because they both knew she was right.

***

Hello everybody!

LONGEST CHAPTER I EVER WROTE.

2635, I don't know what came over me.

I wanted to split it, but then... you don't mind do you?

Soshibang moment in MAMA! With Seohyun!

If only, if only, it was Jessica. and Jiyong. hehe.

Confused about the TaengSic bit?

Jessica doesn't like Jiyong in that way yet.

It takes time, but she's kind of getting there, right?

Exhausted, it's really hard to balance work and school so updates won't be as fast as it used to be.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you guys think!

See you next week!

Minnie xx