“And I realise

You have to feel alive

And all your worries will escape through the door

And you’ll wake up all alone on the floor

It’s not too late

Just rely on me now”

Alive – Gabrielle Aplin

Jessica could go for days without talking to anybody, at home in the comfort of her room. She’d watch movies for hours, eat and just lay in her bed, she was happy that way. But that Saturday, she was feeling down.

She didn’t have an exact reason to feel unhappy – she just woke up feeling empty, like something was missing.

Rolling around in her bed, a frown in her face, she laid still looking at the ceiling, bad thoughts were dominating her mind.

She didn’t want to feel sad, she didn’t want to feel empty but she couldn’t help it, she was falling in the abyss and she was alone, facing her own demons by herself.

No one could understood because, how could someone else understand when she didn’t in the first place?

Everything was always perfect, she tried to keep it that way but nothing is ever truly perfect because things are meant to be imperfect  at times, that was something that Jessica was having a hard time to accept.

“Jessica, I’m going out! Lock the door if you go out later!” she heard her mother shout from the hallway but she didn’t bother replying, not like her mother was expecting a response anyway.

Probably off to meet him, she snorted, sitting up in the middle of her bed. Her hair dishevelled, tears running down her face without even realizing, she quietly wiped them off and with a deep breath, she carried herself away from her bed, away from her sanctuary and with the feeling of loneliness and disappointment, which seemed not to not abandon her lately, she went to the bathroom, her day finally starting from there.

The doorbell rang while she was brushing her teeth but she ignored it, she wasn’t waiting for anybody and whatever delivery her mother had ordered could wait.

But the doorbell kept ringing and ringing and Jessica grew annoyed by the seconds so with her toothbrush still in her hand, full of toothpaste, she went over to the screen to see who was bothering her in her dear Saturday morning.

Jiyong was smiling in front of the camera, beaming ear to ear and got close to the camera on purpose, making Jessica chuckle lightly.

What is he doing here? She thought, rolling her eyes and pressed the button to let him in.

She went back to the bathroom to get cleaned up as she heard him coming through the door.

“Yoooo, Jessica Jung!” he called out and Jessica could just feel the energy emanating from him, even without being in the same room.

Hyper Jiyong… can this day get any worse?

“Yo to you too” she said walking up to him, her hair still a mess and looking like she just rolled out of bed with her pyjama still on. She stifled a yawn and Jiyong couldn’t help but stare at her and smile ear to ear.

It took him a few hours of convincing himself to get there, he wasn’t sure of what he was doing but he woke up wanting to spend the day with her so he told himself that whatever happened, he was going to like her full on and that Saturday was going to be the first day of his attempts.

He didn’t understand, how could someone look so gorgeous when they weren’t even making an effort? She felt like a different world to him, something so fragile and wanting to preserve it.

“What are you doing here so early?” she asked, unaware of his staring as she started to walk to the kitchen, he followed her, still his jacket on and a packet in his hands that Jessica seemed to have either not noticed or ignored.

“Don’t you want to see your present?” he teased, putting the box on the kitchen table while she was heating up her milk.

“Present?” her voice went an octave higher, and turned her head around with a raised eyebrow.

“I wasn’t sure if you had breakfast or not so I brought croissants” he said, scratching his neck nervously, he sat down on the chair around the kitchen table and opened up the box.

“Croissants! Ooh, my favourites!” Jessica took one and with her free hand she ruffled his hair making it all messy and went back to give her attention to the milk.

“I just washed my hair!” he complained, his voice resembling a 5 year old kid who got some candy stolen.

“Stop acting cute and eat your croissant Kwon” she asserted, a small smile on her lips while she poured the milk in a glass.

“It’s okay, I know you can’t handle my cuteness”                                                                

“I thought I was the one conceited?”

“I can have my moments, you know” he said, grinning at her, taking her glass and putting it on the table for her so she could sit down.

“So, what are you doing here then, Jiyong?”

“We’re going out today Princess, after we eat”

“I’m not in the mood today, Ji” she said softly, eating bits and piecing of the croissants, dipping it into the milk.

Jiyong observed her, like he did often lately or more like he always did and looked at her unusual way of eating, finding it cute. He was so far gone and the more he realized it, the less he cared.

“I know, that’s why I’m saying we’re going out. C’mon, hurry up and get ready”

***

“You need to go home Tiffany, you’ve been basically living here the past week!” Seunghyun had said, shaking her from the couch she had been sleeping in.

Tiffany pretended not to hear him and rolled over to the other side, not facing him anymore.

“Seriously, Hwang, don’t you have friends?” he asked, wanting to get her annoyed.

She sighed and didn’t reply, she knew what he was trying to do but she couldn’t let him. She had nowhere to go and right now, the only place that seemed calm and peaceful enough happened to be Seunghyun house. It was always just the two of them and in a way, she had grown to know more about her classmate.

“You don’t even like me, why do you keep staying?” he finally asked, exasperated.

“For the same reason you’re not kicking me out, Choi” was the only thing Tiffany had said and to that, Seunghyun just rolled his eyes and stayed silent.

***

“So, your big plan to cheer me up was… walking around Seoul?” Jessica snorted, after an hour of following the boy blindly into the centre of Myeongdong in the cold air of the first of 1^st of December.

The streets were full of people, kids running around at times and vendors shouting to get people to buy their merchandise. Jessica looked around, enjoying the cold breeze and with a huge leopard printed scarf wrapped around her neck up until her nose and her hair up in a bun, she was already feeling better and Jiyong could tell.

“Let’s go and take some pictures!” he suddenly said, pulling her arm and pulling into the crowd into the photo booth.

“Make a funny face when I count to three”

“How childish” Jessica said, more to herself than to him but a light smile painted her face as she just stood next to him, embarrassed by the whole thing.

He suddenly linked arms with her and with a peace-sign, Jessica turned her head to face him and at that moment right there, the click of the camera was heard.

“Yah, you have to tell me, the picture probably will come out weird” she complained, shaking his arm off hers, instead she adjusted her arm as it suited her and it was now his turn to look at her in surprise as she put her fingers in her own peace sign and grinned to the camera.

Jiyong could swear that if his heart wasn’t gone before, it would have gone out of his chest at that moment and to put it mildly, his legs felt like they would give up on him any time soon. He managed to recover himself just in time for the third pictures and they went on like that for the next few minutes, taking pictures and enjoying themselves, forgetting everything else that was going on in their lives because it was just the two of them, in their own world.

And for Jessica, that was the first time she ever felt so alive.

***

“So, how does it feel to have actually studied for a test eh Choi?” Tiffany teased, walking beside him.

Seunghyun just huffed and gave her the middle finger, making Tiffany gasp and laugh.

“I’m excited. Be ready to bow down to the new nerd” he said, jumping up and down.

“It would take more than a few tests to make you a nerd, you know”

The brunette clapped her hands, remembering something so she stopped walking and faced him.

“If the questions ask for old sayings or expressions, it usually always links to Confucius or Gandhi. They never ask for anyone else so if you don’t know, just guess. Also, in Biology, you have to use-”

“-the word concentration gradient but for water is water potential. I know, I got it, okay? You seem to be freaking out more than me, President” he chuckled, waving off her concerns.

Tiffany took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders and as they got closer to the classroom where Seunghyun had the test, her hands seemed to shake more and more. She was supposed to be the one helping him but it seemed the other way round, he was helping her more than she did. If Seunghyun failed, it would have been her fault. She didn’t do failure but for now, she could do nothing but hope that everything she taught him would help. The score didn’t necessarily have to be ninety per cent, but even just a pass would make her happy.

Seunghyun suddenly reached for her hands and took them firmly in his.

“Stop being so nervous, it’s making me nervous. See you later, Tiffany”

And that was all it took for her to calm down, her shoulders relaxed and her hands although still shaking, the shaking was considerably less and with a deep breath, she turned around to get to her class.

When she sat down to her seat, she tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for the two hours to go by but then she realize something, something that took her attention off the clock and off the lesson, for the first time ever, Tiffany Hwang found herself not taking notes at all even with the pen in her hand, she couldn’t bring herself to listen to the teacher and write because, that was the first time.

It was the first time Seunghyun Choi ever called by her name.

N/A

Hellooo!

Well... this took longer than I expected.

My life has been falling apart these couple of months, I couldn't write and I'm sorry.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, eh? That's what they say.

I'm not making very much sense, but let's just say that I've been Jessica but I'm back now!

SNSD's comeback! So excited!

(And 2NE1's comeback! So good!)

I know it's weird to say this, but I really really really like Jessica in this fic, she makes me happy.

I took half an hour to figure out how to post this, the new layout is a bit complicated for my simple mind haha

What do you guys think about Jisica's unofficial first date?

Wish the best to Seunghyun! Hopefully he'll pass his tests. For Tiffany.

Thank you so much for reading and thanks for sticking with me guys.

Take lots of care.

Minnie xx

P.S Does anybody know when the MV for Mr Mr is going to come out?