Chapter 15

The start

“I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly and then all at once.”

•  The fault in our stars.

Although people said that Jessica was hard to approach, when people did approach her, if she liked them well enough, she would let them in and she’d do anything for them. Because that was the kind of person she was, the one who’d do anything for the people she trusted, for the people she loved.

If she didn’t like you, then you really had nothing to worry about because she’d most probably ignore your presence, unless you did do something to make your presence even more disliked.

But that was hard, because Jessica barely cared about other people, in the nicest possible way, if there was even was nice way in the first place. It was her way of not getting hurt, by not caring, no one ever got hurt.

It was a slow process for Jiyong to get close to Jessica, but even now, when he thinks about it, he got close to her faster than other people did, he was grateful for that because, no matter what anyone told him about her, he still believed the best in her, that was the kind of friend he was.

And Jessica could see that.

So when he walked past a corridor and saw Jessica shouting at three girls, he could have assumed the worst, that Jessica was being mean, the way she was close to them and her eyes, full of hate, he could have assumed the worst. Like everyone else did.

Sunny, Taeyeon, Sooyoung and Seohyun were there, and by the look of it, things would soon escalate and that wasn’t rare, things usually escalated quickly in a high school but then everything happened quickly, Jiyong only had the time to gasp as Jessica raised her hand and slapped the girl in the middle.

He couldn’t hear what they were saying but he couldn’t stay still, he hated conflict but it seemed to follow since he started fancying a certain girl from the popular clique, and sometimes, he wish he didn’t like her. But he did like her and he couldn’t change that.

As he got closer, he caught bits of what Jessica was saying, making him unsure whether to laugh because of how unusually angry she sounded but then, an episode of a couple of months ago hit his mind.

God, she needs to stop getting into fights. Or catfights?

“Why don’t you try and say that again? Huh? What, not so big anymore? Just dare, I dare you to even look,no, ing glance at her, and- let me go! Your mum won’t be able to recognize you!” Jessica shouted, Taeyeon there trying to put her hands on Jessica’s hands, before any teachers got a hold of the situation and finally, Jiyong got there and got through all the people, and with some help, he pulled Jessica away, holding her arm forcefully.

“Can we leave her with you? Our attendance is bad enough, we already have a warning. Bring her to form, yeah?” Sooyoung asked, or demanded and all Jiyong could do was nod, because this was all familiar to him, felt like a déjà vu, one that he wasn’t particularly happy to relive, but then again, it was Jessica.

“So.” He only said, not wanting to say the wrong thing, he could see her anger was still there and he only hoped to never make her angry.

“So.” She only said, not wanting to say anymore, she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable but she could feel the blood sizzling in her vein, her heart still pumping from the emotions.

“What happened there?” he finally asked, looking out of the corridor windows.

She shrugged her shoulders and sighed, a tired sigh, the ones he knew very well, the ones that his mother did every time she looked at a unpaid bill or whenever he got hurt in training, he knew those sigh too well.

“They… they were saying these things to Seohyun, and they’ve been bothering her for a while, I just… I lost it”

“Oh Jessica”  It was his turn to sigh, a different kind, the sympathetic kind but the kin that said so much more along it, the care he felt for her but the exasperated kind, if even a sigh could even include that much.

A silence issued then, he wasn’t looking at her, because he couldn’t because his mind was rummaging with thoughts, images of Jessica hurting others or getting hurt contrasted the images of her eating, smiling at him, laughing with him, the few times where she forgot who she was and who he was and was just a girl, because she was really, she was just a girl but sometimes, he was the one who forgot. He realized, just then, how much of a pedestal he put her on and how really, she wasn’t perfect. She really wasn’t.

He realized that until then, he saw her as this girl way out of his league, who he could never have, who was cold, he finally saw her as Jessica Jung, the girl with more on her shoulders than he ever realized.

“Jessica, you can’t use your hands to solve every problem, hitting someone is never okay, no matter what they say. Unless they raise their hands first, it’s wrong.”

“Ugh, you sound like a teacher.” She pursed her lips, frowning.

“You’re so immature, Jung. The point is, you better not get into another fight. Tell a teacher if someone is bullying Seohyun, but don’t get violent. What if you were older? You could get charged with assault. And then? Prison?” he started, his voice raising.

“What would you have done if someone was bothering Youngbae? Or Seunghyun? I know it’s wrong but what do I get by telling a teacher? Adults are all the same, why should I trust one when they’ll probably think I’m over reacting? They will only talk to them and that won’t solve the problem.”

Jiyong shook his head, he then raised his arm and put it on around her shoulders, confusing her.

“Yah, are you taking advantage of the situation?” but she put her dangling arm around his waist regardless, her hand tugging his uniform blazer.

“Stop getting into fights, okay?” he said softly against her ear, making her body shiver from the closeness, tickled by his breath.

“Okay”

***

Tiffany was different from Jessica.

She was always smiling, approachable and bubbly, the girl-next-door which anyone couldn’t possibly hate.

If you needed something or just wanted someone to talk to, Tiffany was always there. But she didn’t let people in, no matter how close they were, it was hard for her to let people actually know her so even if you knew her for years, you still would never know Tiffany fully. Everything in her head was a mystery and she liked it that way, and although classmates, teachers, and family might think they knew her like the palm of their hands, they didn’t because she never really let go.

As much as she could talk about superficial feelings casually, her words were carefully controlled at all times and she didn’t let her face show anything other than happiness, she would never let you see the vulnerable side to her and that okay for her, because that way, no one ever got hurt.

“It’s called having a crush Tiffany, you like him”

“Tiffany and Seunghyun, sitting in a tree-“

“K-i-s-s-i-n-g, first-“

“No! Stop it! You guys are so immature”

Taeyeon walked in to the room with a tray full of cakes and biscuits, along with some drinks and tea.

“What’s going on?” she asked, and Sunny and Jessica were only too happy to fill her in, completing each other’s sentences but the excitement was too high and between both of them, Taeyeon understood only one thing, Tiffany Hwang had a crush.

Her first crush.

Taeyeon wasn’t sure whether to join in to the teasing like the other two girls were doing or just hug her, like the other girls decided to but she choose neither and instead offered her some biscuits.

“It’s low fat, just eat it and talk” was all she said and for that, Tiffany was grateful for it though.

Taeyeon had this bond with all of them, different for each of them but she had this way of making all of them feel at home.

They were currently at her house, planning out Yuri’s surprise party, which wasn’t much of a surprise party because they had it every year but the theme was always different and it was just nice to do that.

“He’s weird you know, we haven’t been talking since he took the exam and the results come on tomorrow, what if he failed? Wouldn’t that mean I failed him as a tutor? He didn’t say anything about how it went, was it so bad?”

Tiffany started to rant, and they all knew that if she started, she would be like that for a while so they left her talking and only nodded and commented where necessary.

“I can’t like him, right? That wouldn’t be good! I’m the President, the good girl, he’s the opposite! But we have a weird relationship, we’re not friends but we hang out, and-”

“Okay, I can’t deal with this! Tiffany, shut the hell up! Who cares how different you are? You like him and that’s it! It’s been nearly an hour, my ears can’t do this” Jessica was the first one to crack, and secretly, they were all relieved.

As much as they loved her, Tiffany had a loud voice and when she was emotional or freaking out, it took a toll on all of them.

“Unni, are you going to tell him?” Seohyun asked, finishing off Hyoyeon’s nails.

“No! Are you crazy? And I don’t know if I like him like that!”

Jessica rolled her eyes, scrolling down on her iPad to look at presents for Yuri, not finding anything she liked enough to buy for her.

“Anyone else got any crushes, anything to confess? It’s now or never! We have a party to plan” Taeyeon asked, but openly staring at Jessica and now, all eight of them were staring at her, some smiling, some questioningly, but she was unaware as she was looking at a handbag, thinking hard whether to buy it or not.

“She said, ANYONE!  Jessica, got something to say sweetheart?” Sunny asked, throwing her a pillow.

“Huh? No, but what would Yuri think of this bag?” she looked around, taken aback from the staring.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” she asked.

“Ignorance is bliss, ah young love, it’s pathetic” Sooyoung only said, ending the conversation, shaking her head, she went up to the now brunette and checked out the bag.

“It’s nice, you should get it. So, Taeyeon and I are taking care of the invites! Jessica, we’re doing it at your house, is that still okay?” Sooyoung didn’t wait for an answer but carried on going over everyone’s job.

So much for asking, Jessica thought.

***

Jiyong felt like he was walking on cloud nine.

There was nothing better than working hard at something for then to finally be so close to achieve it and walking on cloud nine seemed to describe perfectly how he felt the last week.

Training for YG since he was young, was hard. Yes, it was one of the best things in his life but it came with its up and downs.

After years and years in training, he wondered at times whether he would ever debut, if his time would ever come but hopeful Jiyong would not these thoughts get to him so he always worked hard, harder than he did every day and lately, it seemed that the boss was happier with him.

They always got on, Jiyong had a bond with the CEO that no one else had with him and they were so close but the boss always said to Jiyong that his time wasn’t there yet but for the last week, he could feel it coming. The debut.

He didn’t say it to anybody, just in case things didn’t get the right turn he wanted and nothing was official yet but he heard the adults talking about him and the exact word were “we have to prepare them for their debut, especially Jiyong” and since then, Jiyong was nothing but  bundle of joy, literally.

Everyone could feel the enthusiasm, the happiness irradiating from him, everything seemed to be where he wanted it to be. Nothing could go wrong.

Even things with Jessica seemed to get better, as he would go at her house after training and they’d watch a movie, order pizza or just even chat, no matter how late it got.

Things were going so well that he couldn’t believe it, it all just seemed like a dream to him.

“Jessica?” he called her attention once, when they were having one of their daily hangouts.

“What?” she asked, not turning around, her eyes fixated on the screen.

“You’re a great friend, did anyone ever tell you that?”

She tilted her head and raised her eyebrows, side eyeing him for a moment.

“Did you just friendzone yourself, Jiyong?” she teased, putting some cake in .

“Oh. But it was a compliment” he said, his eyes still bright and happy as ever.

“Why don’t you just tell me why your eyes are beaming with sunshine and get it over and done with? And if it’s your undying love for me, don’t bother”

A deep breath, hiding the little piece of his heart hurt a little by her words, but the happiness still too overwhelming for him to let himself be too hurt.

“I might be debuting soon! Isn’t that crazy?” he said, all in one go.

The surprise in Jessica’s eyes was noticeable but in a second she smiled and setting her plate full of food aside, she hugged him and just said “congratulations” softly, holding him tight.

She was never one for physical contact, but that never seemed to matter with Jiyong because in one way or another, their bodies would just find each other and he certainly wouldn’t complain, he just held her for a little longer, just enough to savour the moment and she let him, because this was good news and she was genuinely happy for him.

And that made him even happier.

***

Seunghyun never cried.

His mother always said he was very good as a baby, never really gave her problems at night, he didn’t cry when he fell off the swings, he didn’t cry when his mum and dad weren’t there at his school plays, he didn’t cry when they told him he had to repeat a year.

He just wasn’t a crier.

He also never really felt proud of himself, there was always something in him that made him feel not good enough so when he kept failing tests, he just shrugged his shoulders and thought he was just stupid. He knew he wasn’t, but there was no other explanation to him.

So when he looked at the result paper, he turned his head around to hide the unexpected tears, overwhelming feelings hit him.

He couldn’t stop the tears as he looked at the red ‘100%’, he just couldn’t believe it, it was really his paper as he flicked through it to look at the name and flicked it back and force again between the subjects, a ninety five in maths was the only one that ruined it but even then, the highest he ever got, the best he ever done and words couldn’t explain the overwhelming joy he felt. And pride.

“Gosh, I have to tell her” was the first thing he said, and by her, there was no one else he meant other than the girl who’s been sleeping on his couch two weeks ago, the one who kept him awake throughout the night with books and more books.

He thanked the professor, who looked at him surprised and nodded, he ran out of the staffroom and he ran as if his life depended on it.

He slammed the door open and Tiffany was leaning on a table, surrounded by some girls and guys, laughing at something someone had said so he stood at the door, looking at her and that the first time, he saw her, like he didn’t before.

Her eyes caught him at the door and she raised her eyebrows and then, she looked down at the paper he was holding and he smiled at her. He never smiled at her, he never smiled at anyone for the matter but he did then and Tiffany felt a strange feeling, again, tormenting her but she left it aside and walked up to him.

“So?”

And that was the start, the start of Choi Seunghyun falling for Tiffany Hwang like never before and the best part wasn’t even that, it was that he knew it was happening but he was okay with it.

***