“Gwaenchana?” Nana said, looking at me while I mended the bruise on my face. It hurt like hell, I thought. What is her father? He sure can hit someone and strong....  

I said nothing, I didn’t know what I should say. This was not how things should go. I think the reason she wanted to die was that just another simple teenager reason. But, the reason now… it’s beyond my power. I didn’t know what to do, and I’ve been involved on this.

“Mian… I brought you into this… Jeongmal mianhamnida…” she said.

I couldn’t say anything, or I didn’t know what to say to her.

“Didn’t I said you should let me die…. Appa said that too.  Now, can I go?”

I said nothing. If she just went away, maybe I could live my own life again. I didn’t have to care about her, thought about her, and her problem was not my concern anymore. But… could I let her slip away just like that? I wanted to help her, with everything I could. I’ve faced death before. The little girl I’m unable to save. I could only be her power. I wanted to be this girl power too. She turned away and I grabbed her arm.

“Who say you can go?” I said.

“Umm…”

“Eodie kago sipheoyo?” I said again.

“Molla yo… my house….?”

I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. After what her father did to her, she still could call that house a house?! She could just run away for a long time ago. “ANIYA!” I said furiously. “You cant go back to that damn house! That house is hell!”

I could see she became angry. She pulled her hand off my hand. “MY HOUSE! That hell is my house!”

She almost ran, but I grabbed her hand again, even tighter. I felt bad about what I just said. That makes sense too. She needed somewhere she could call it a house. “Mian… I didn’t mean to say so. You cant go back. You should never go back.”

“Where will I go then!? That’s the only place I have! You should let me die!”

I paused. “I cant. Why didn’t you tell the police?”

She became angry again, I could see her face redden. “And what? Appa goes to jail? When he comes back, he will hit me even harder. Don’t you understand. I should have bear it.”

I suddenly felt so apologetic. I could feel her suffer, her pain, although she gives me flat, straight look on her face. The suffering showed so real. It’s like she didn’t have anyone who ever care about her, who ever protect her. I hugged her, to hide my tears.

“Are you hopeless? Or just stupid? Your body wont hold it anymore. This little bruise on my face hurts like hell, but you suffer more. E.v.e.r.y.d.a.y.”

“Nothing I can do…”

“Where will you go?” I ask with softer tone, letting her go.

“Molla…”

“Your friends?”

“No one. I have no friends at all.”

“You go to school right? How come you didn’t have any friend?”

“Everybody hates me. They dislike me. They say I’m poor, dirty, and… other bad things…”

“But you can…”

“Nothing is easy! Just because you are a celebrity, doesn’t mean anything is easy for everyone. Not everyone can be like you! You have car, you are popular, you have a lot of money…”

I was angry now. It’s uneasy to tell her what to do. Now she said that my life is easy. It’s not easy. “EASY?! My life is a lot tougher! Never say something you didn’t understand. You’ll never know how tough my life is! It’s not easy to become who I am today! For today, come with me! And you’ll see how tough I am making my money, and my car!”

I slammed the door close and drove the car to a place. A place where I could fix her appearance. I couldn’t take her to my work if she looked like this. She was not ugly, she was just dirty and really untidy. On a salon where I usually came, I insisted the shopkeeper to make the best of her. Cleaned her, and made her beautiful. I waited, long enough. Thirty minutes later she was squeaky clean. She was a bit different with the little girl, with dirty body and hair. Now she was a bit pretty. She needed another polisher, and she’s done.

She protested to me, why do I do this, she said. I dragged her to another salon. And get her hair fixed. Luckily I didn’t have to buy a new clothes, getting the risk going to a store and got her clothes. There would be gossip all over the magazine if I did that. My phone rand when the salon worker giving Nana finishing touch. Hyuk Jae.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Teuk hyung. Where are you? We are on the restaurant right now. Do you forget to come for our goodbye stage party?”

“AH! I forget!”

I really forget that I should go to the party before Heechul goes to Youngstreet radio broadcast. I look at my watch and I really late. I know it.

“Lee Teuk…” a girl said behind me.

“Wae? Didn’t I tell….” I am unable to say anything. She transformed. From a dirty and untidy girl to a pretty, and cute girl. “Wow.” That’s the only word I can said.

“Do I look good?”

“Ne! Definitely!”

“Lee Teuk ssi… is it okay for you to do this…?”

“Call me oppa~ drop the formality now….”

“What are you trying to do?” she says again.

“Didn’t I tell you to come with me and watch me work. Now let’s go.”

I drove the car to the restaurant I’m supposed to go half an hour ago. They weren’t going to believe I’m taking the same girl to the backstage and to the party. I stopped my car in the parking lot, and turn to the back seat.

“I’m going to change my clothes first, and don’t look behind!” I say.

“Ne…”

She was silent type I think, she didn’t say much everytime I don’t speak. And the silent gap was uncomfortable.

“Hei… you never thought of going away from that house?”

“Aniya… that is my house… I’ve told you…” she almost turns her back.

“Don’t look back!” I screamed, embarrassed. “But your father is very cruel…”

“My appa still my appa. That drunk man, always hit me, is my appa. Although I’m scared to him, he is the only family I have. Although he wants to kill me, he is my appa.”

“How you can call someone like him Appa? He is definitely not a father.”

“I’ve known him as far as I know. I was taken care by my aunt, and then she gave me to appa. She said he is my appa…. How should appa be?”

“A father…. Whenever you are with him, you feel warmth. You feel warm, and protected. A father should protect her daughter, never let her hurt. That’s a father.”

Nana paused, she didn’t say anything in reply. Maybe I hurt her feeling, I think. When I wanted to say something, she said.

“Then I have someone I can call appa….”

“Ye? Nugu?” I said, while climbing to the driver seat, already changed into hoodie and jeans.

She looked at me, with her innocent look. “Lee Teuk. Lee Teuk appa.”

“Mwo?!” I was so surprised of what she said. Am I look that old? “Nana yah, appa should be at least 20 years above you! I’m old, but not that old.”

She looked a bit down. I patted on her head. She thought of me of someone old, or someone who can protect her? Someone who can makes her heart warm, and safe?