I was getting my books out from my locker when Myungsoo passes by. I wave to him and he looks at me and we make eye contact and everything. But he shows no reaction.

            It was as if I was intentionally ignored.

            Puzzled, I decided to let the incident slide as I made my way to class.

            During lunch, I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder at Myungsoo’s table.

            That girl with pale skin and long wavy hair was back. She was sitting next to him and the two of them were sharing a lunch box.

            I told my friends that I had to take care of some student council business and headed over to Myungsoo’s table.

            “Yah,” I hissed.

            But he paid no attention to me as he kept talking to the pale, long haired girl. She noticed me as well but didn’t say anything to him about it.

            .

            I tapped Myungsoo’s shoulder to get his attention. He finally turned around. “What?” he snapped.

            “Sorry to bug you,” I said with a hint of sarcasm. “But did you forget your lunch money this morning?” I gestured to the shared lunch box between him and that girl.

            “Maybe,” he mumbled as he looked away. He turned around.

            “Yah. Don’t turn your back away from me,” I demanded. “If you forgot your money why didn’t you just ask me for money?”

            He turned around again, looking annoyed. “Can you just leave? I’m with someone right now.”

            I eyed the girl sitting next to him. She looked annoyed by me as well.

            Suddenly feeling very small from my usual ego, I retreated back to my table.

            “Why do you look so down?” Yookyung asked me, concerned.

            “Just tired,” I fibbed.

            But in truth, I did feel down. I kept seeing his annoyed expression in my mind, over and over again throughout the day. After school, he wasn’t waiting for me like he usually was. I walked to the new house all by myself that afternoon. When I got home, he was still nowhere to be found.

            I stayed in my room and did my homework, but something was obviously off with me. I had trouble concentrating and that hollow, sinking feeling in my heart was still there. I hated it.

            Myungsoo came home at around midnight. My mother and Mr. Kim hardly cared, of course. Myungsoo was a seventeen-year-old boy and was free to have no curfew.

            But I cared. I seemed to care a lot.

            “Where have you been?” I asked as I followed him upstairs. “It’s past midnight do you know how late that is?”

            “And since when did you think it was okay to start nagging me like an overprotective mother?”

            “Because,” I said, “because you’ve been so weird today. You’re not like yourself.”

            He didn’t reply as he headed into his room. I followed suit. “Are you even listening to me?” I asked him, growing frustrated.

            Myungsoo stopped me outside his room, the door separating us. “Look,” he said. His tone scared me. “I’m tired. Leave me alone, okay?”

            “L-Leave you alone?” I must’ve looked like an idiot with that confused look on my face. “Why?”

            He didn’t reply as he slammed the door in my face, leaving me outside in the hallway by myself.

            I wasn’t used to Myungsoo being so cold to me. He was always popping out of nowhere, teasing me, laughing and smiling with me. It didn’t occur to me that he had such a whole other side to him. And I didn’t know how to deal with it.

            I convinced myself that it was just a phase, that he was probably just being his weird self and that he’d go back to normal in no time.

            So I left him alone, for about a week or so.

            One afternoon, Taemin was walking with me to class when I suddenly spot Myungsoo down the hall. He was with that pale, long-haired girl.

            And they were holding hands.

            “Naeun? What’s wrong?” Taemin asked me.

            I snapped out of it, still trying to recover from my sense of shock. “N-Nothing.” Why do I suddenly feel like crying?

            I tried making through the entire day without thinking of Myungsoo and his new girlfriend or whatever. But I couldn’t get him out of my mind.

            He came home late again. It’d become a regular thing now, for him to come home at around 12 and sometimes even 1. And for the past week I’ve been quiet about it.

            But not today.

            He saw me waiting for him outside his room and gave me that “not again” expression as he brushed past me to his room. I made the quick effort to step inside this time.

            “That girl,” I said. “You’re dating her now?”

            He didn’t say a word as he took off his shirt and threw it into the laundry basket. I was used to this by now, somewhat.

            “Why aren’t you answering me?” I asked. “You know who I’m talking about.”

            He began taking off his jeans and I looked away, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I heard him slip on his pajama pants and looked back when he was done.

            “Aren’t you going to say something?” I pressed.

            He looked tired, he really did. And I suddenly felt bad for being so demanding with him.

            “You should get some sleep,” he said, his voice soft. “You shouldn’t be staying up waiting for me to come home.”

            “I do it because I want to.”

            “You’re really stubborn, aren’t you?”

            “Just as stubborn as you.”

            Myungsoo yawned, obviously tired of my pestering but I couldn’t help myself. “I still need to wash up. So go to your room.”

            “You still didn’t answer my question,” I said.

            Myungsoo grabbed a towel from his closet and his toiletries. “You already know the answer,” he said. Then he started heading to the bathroom.

            “Wait,” I said. Then, very quietly, I asked the question that’d been burning in my heart since that afternoon. “D-Do….do you really like her, Myungsoo?”

            His back was to me, his figure standing by the doorway. I waited, my heart beating hard and quick against my chest the entire time it took for him to reply. Then, finally, he nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I do.” Then he disappeared down the hall.

            I waited until I could hear him brushing his teeth before retreating back to my room. I still had some history homework to finish and I tried to focus as best as I could. But then my eyes started getting blurry and before I knew it I was crying. The tears stained my homework and soon I was full on sobbing.

            I knew I was sad. I knew exactly why I was sad. I hated feeling abandoned and I always had since my dad left me and my mother when I was 7 years old. And now I was getting that sense of déjà vu all over again.

            The next morning, I found myself still at my desk. I must’ve cried myself to sleep, never having the energy to make it to the bed.

            A blanket was wrapped around me. And at first I thought that it was my mom or Mr. Kim who had come in to check on me.

            But my mom has never done such a thing. She has never checked up on me in the middle of the night, being such a deep sleeper herself. And Mr. Kim wouldn’t venture into my room.

            The only person left was Myungsoo.

            I got up and went to his room, only to find his perfectly made bed and him nowhere in sight. He’d left the house early, for reasons I didn’t know.

            I went back to my room and felt the blanket through my hands. The thought of Myungsoo being concerned enough to come in and check up on me made me happier than it should’ve been. But I was fine with that.