One problem remained and probably will always remain between Myungsoo and I: we were supposed to be related.

            It’s not like we could change that either. But it did hinder much of what he and I could say and do.

            And choose to feel.

            I was watching Gossip Girl the other day, and it came to the point where Dan and Serena were at the verge of becoming stepsiblings. Quite frankly, I could relate.

            Dan and Serena had ended up together. Their parents decided to not go through with their plans and by season 6, they were living happily ever after. Maybe there was hope after all.

            But I wasn’t sure if he was worth the risk: ruining our careers as well as our relationships with our mom and dad. It was too early to tell if he was worth it. Is he the love of my life? I wasn’t so sure.

Rinnnngggggg!

“Hello?”

            “Who is this?”

            “What do you mean ‘who is this’, you’re the one who called me, you nincompoop,” I said as I rolled my eyes at his weirdness.

            “Ohhhh that’s right,” Myungsoo said. “You’re Son Naeun.”

            “Yes I am,” I said, as if it was the obvious thing in the world, “now what do you want?”

            “A date.”

            I froze. “What?”

            “I’ve been quite stressed from my schedule lately. Drama filming and whatnot. I think I need a break,” Myungsoo said.

            “And you’re asking me to help you with this little issue of yours?”

            “Yes. Consider yourself lucky.”

            “Or horribly cursed,” I mumbled. “Which reminds me, how did you get my number anyways?”

            “That’s a secret.”

            “Oh. So you’re really stalking me.”

            Myungsoo sighed, frustrated. My stubbornness was certainly getting to him. “Okay I asked Sunggyu if he could ask Eunji for your number and honestly they ship us so much that they couldn’t deny my request. Happy?”

            “They ship us? Oh god.”

            “Anyways,” Myungsoo continued, “go on a date with me. Please.”

            I paused, now serious because he was serious. “Myungsoo,” I said, stern, “I can’t. I’m seeing someone right now.”

            “Wait,” Myungsoo said, “is it…is it that Exo guy?”

            “He has a name, you know.”

            “You didn’t tell me about it.”

            “I thought you knew. I mean, you did run into us after our couple dance. People are still talking about it by the way,” I replied casually. “And besides, why would I tell you? It’s none of your business.”

            “You know what I think?” Myungsoo asked. “I think you should just ditch your little Exo boy and go on a date with, say, Infinite’s visual.”

            “Myungsoo, look,” I finally said with a heavy sigh, “I’ve been thinking about us a lot. Jongin is a great guy and I appreciate his kindness with all of my heart. He’s someone that I can actually be with.”

            “So you’re saying that being with me will be too much trouble. That you won’t be happy.” He already knew.

            “I didn’t say that.”

            “You didn’t. But you meant to.”

            “Myungsoo. We’re ing stepbrother and stepsister, don’t you get that? We’re as taboo as it can get. I’m glad we’re talking again. I’m glad that we’re getting back to joking around and bickering like we used to. And I’m okay with being just that. Are you?”

            “Naeun, you’re killing me here.”

            “What you said the other night,” I said, “about how you were the one who led us up to this. I don’t believe that it was just you. I know that, somewhere in that time period where we first met, that I was meant to feel it too. You made me fall for you and I let you fall for me. But…maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Fate can be very deceiving, you know. She says one thing but means another. Maybe this is just one of those things.”

            Myungsoo stayed quiet on the other end. Then he laughed a bit, although it was a sad laugh. “I feel like an idiot.”

            “You’re not an idiot.”

            “It’s weird because…” He took in a breath. “…when I first met you, it was one of those feelings where you just knew. I just knew that you were the one so I went for it, thinking that everything will turn out okay in the end.

            “My dad’s relationship with your mother, I didn’t worry too much about when it started. My dad has had tons of girlfriends. I assumed that they would’ve broken up sooner or later anyways. But I never thought that it’d turn to marriage.”

            “I guess neither of us expected that the whole stepbrother and stepsister charade to come true. To this very moment I still can’t quite comprehend it.”

            I heard Myungsoo sigh on the other end. “Me either.”

            My heart hurt to hear him talk the way he was talking, his voice being so faint and just plain vulnerable. I was so used to the high and mighty image of Kim Myungsoo, emotionless and incapable of having sympathy or feelings for anyone. It was unnerving to hear him so out of character, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

 I wanted to be with him. Of course I wanted to be with him. But I knew that it was better for the both of us if we stay away from each other. Less hearts would be broken. Including ours. It was for the best.

            About a month later, he was dating someone. Some ulzzang named Doyeon or something along those lines. He told me himself, one night when we ran into each other in the lobby. I’d just gone out to dinner with Jongin and was in happy spirits.

            “She’s a really nice girl,” Myungsoo had said to me, “and she really cares about me.”

            “That’s great,” I said, genuinely grateful. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks. So am I,” he said as the two of us walked to the elevator together. “How’s that Exo guy?”

            “You mean Jongin.”

            “I will forever refer to him as ‘that Exo guy’ whether you like it or not.”

            I rolled my eyes but smiled. “He’s great. We went to eat at that new sushi place down the street.”

            “Super Sushi?”

            “Yeah!”

            “I’ve been meaning to try it,” Myungsoo said. “I heard it’s really good.”

            “It is! I have a coupon from their grand opening. I can give it to you if you want it,” I offered.

            “Sure you don’t want it?”

            “Jongin and I have a ton of other places in mind for dates anyways,” I said. “Here, take it. Have a nice dinner with Doyeon.”

            Myungsoo took the coupon from me. “Thanks, Naeun. I really appreciate it.”

            “Of course. We’re friends, right?”

            “Yeah,” Myungsoo said. “Friends.”

            It was easy for me to know where Myungsoo and I stood with each other now: just friends. I was happy about that fact. There were no awkward silences when we saw each other (if we even saw each other at all, since we were both so busy) and everything in this little idol world of ours seemed to be going well.

            That is, until I got a mysterious letter in the mail.

            It was a big envelope, with only my name “Son Naeun” written across the front in big block letters. I stared at the thing, puzzled as to what it was. Was it a letter from a fan? A gift? The entire thing seemed too cryptic to be such things.

            I went into my room alone and closed the door behind me, making sure to open this thing in absolute privacy. My instincts told me that it was that important.

            My instincts were right. Inside was a letter.

My dearest Son Naeun,

     You are in for the time of your life, hun. because guess what? I know your secret.

     ‘What secret?’ you might ask. Well, let me sum it up in one word: stepbrother.

     Stay away from him, or else you know what’s going to happen.

            My heartbeat accelerates, my palms suddenly become sweaty. I shakily put the letter down.

Someone else knew. I suddenly grew extremely cautious as to who could be watching me.

            I stuffed the letter back into the folder and hid it. No one else needed to know.