After prom, Myungsoo and I grew onto awkward terms again. Ironic, because he’d promised me that he wouldn’t let things go awkward between us ever. But I guess promises were made to be broken after all.

            Soon, it was Myungsoo’s graduation. I attended the ceremony with my mother and Mr. Kim. Afterwards, there was a small party at our new house with a couple of relatives on both sides. It sort of served as Myungsoo’s graduation party, as well as a get-to-know each other party in preparation for the wedding.

            Myungsoo had been encouraged to invite some friends over. But he shook his head, saying that this was strictly family, no friends. So at the party, it was just me and him greeting older relatives and a few younger cousins. He was wearing a nice white button up with a midnight blue tie. I was wearing a casual midnight blue dress, strangely enough. The two of us stood side by side, needing each other but at the same time too cautious to say anything to each other. I didn’t want to bring up prom. He didn’t want to either.

            “Hey, Naeun.”

            I turned around to find Gong Chanshik, the boy whom I’d met at the Christmas party.

            “Hey!” I said, surprised to see him. “It’s good to see you!” He and I exchanged a friendly hug.

            “Good to see you too, Naeun,” Chanshik said with that eye smile of his. “Your mom invited me and my mom.”

            I laughed. “No surprise there. They seem pretty close.”

            “Haha yeah. Great crab cakes by the way. These are delicious,” Chanshik commented.

            “Really? My mother and I just bought them from the place across the street,” I replied.

            Chanshik and I made some more brief small talk before he had to go tend to his little brother.

            “Who’s he?” asked Myungsoo.

            “Just some guy I met at the Christmas party,” I answered simply.

            “Myungsoo, Naeun!”

            Mr. Kim had his big fancy camera with him again and told us to take a picture together. I stiffly stood next to Myungsoo, arms and hands to myself. I thought Myungsoo was going to do the same before I felt an arm slip around my waist. He pulled me closer to him and I instinctively put one arm on his back.

            Click!

            “You two look absolutely stunning together,” Mr. Kim commented. “We are going to be such a beautiful family!”

            I forced a grin. “I think so too, Mr. Kim.”

            “Hey dad can I see the picture?” Myungsoo asked.

            “Yeah sure.” Mr. Kim gave Myungsoo the camera and headed off to tend to some other guests.

            The picture looked beautiful. My dress matched his tie and the way he held me so close to him was just so…perfect. We were just so perfect together it was uncanny.

            “Do you hear what everyone’s saying?” Myungsoo suddenly asked me.

            “What?” I asked.

            “Some are asking your mother if I’m your boyfriend. Others are asking my father if you’re my girlfriend. It’s hilarious.”

            My eyes widened. “Oh my gosh are people actually wondering about that? In my defense you were the one who put your hand around my waist.”

            All Myungsoo did was chuckle as he zoomed into our faces in the picture. It was one of those pictures that you just loved looking at because it’s just so perfect.

            “We look pretty good together,” I said without thinking.

            “This,” Myungsoo said, “will be our prom picture, okay?”

            This was the first time he brought up the topic of prom since he didn’t agree to go with me.

            “What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

            “You’re wearing a dress and I’m wearing a nice shirt and tie. It’s no different from a normal prom picture,” Myungsoo said.

            “But…” I paused. “…but I still would’ve wanted you to go with me.”

            All Myungsoo did was shrug. “I had my reasons.” And that was the end of it.

            Wedding day.

            I stepped out of the dressing room to find Myungsoo outside waiting for me. He eyed me from head to toe, but didn’t say anything.

            Myungsoo looked especially handsome in a crisp tux. His hair was up and I tried my best not to stare.

            It was strange standing next to him while watching his father and my mother say their “I do’s”. There was tension between us, I could feel it. I wanted to look over at him, to touch him.

            But I couldn’t.

            At the dinner that following night, Myungsoo and I sat at tables opposite each other from the room.

            “Hey Naeun.”

            I looked up to see Gong Chanshik. I hadn’t even known that he’d been invited to the party, although I shouldn’t have been too surprised.

            “Hey Chanshik,” I said.

            He rubbed the back of his neck. “Um…you wanna dance?”

            I looked over at Myungsoo, who, from across the room, was talking to one of the pretty waitresses.

            Fueled by my burning feelings of jealousy, I accepted.

            Chanshik and I danced, but it was anything but romantic. The entire time I was supposedly “dancing” with Chanshik, I couldn’t help but think of Myungsoo.

            After the first song, I excused myself to go to the restroom. Upon returning, I found Myungsoo waiting outside.

            He walked up to me, step by step, and held out his hand. I stared at it, in a trance.

            “I owe you one anyways,” he said. “For…prom.”

            “A picture,” I said. “And now a dance?”

            “That’s all prom really is,” he said with a shrug.

            My lips broke out into a smile as I nodded and put my hand in his. Myungsoo was trying to bite back his smile but I could still see it coming through.

            A soothing, slow song was playing when the two of us came out onto the dance floor. He put his hands on my waist and I put my hands on his shoulders. The two of us swayed to the music, staring deep into each other’s eyes. It was dark, the lighting to a minimum. None of us worried about other people seeing us.

            I’ve always heard people talk about those moments where they wished could last forever. I never understood that. What moment could be so grand, so precious, so beautiful that you’d want it to last forever?

            I understood exactly what those people meant when I was dancing with Myungsoo that night. I was so caught up in the moment, loving how I couldn’t see anyone else but him. I loved looking into his eyes so much that if I could, I would do it forever. It was a moment that I wished would never end.

            I’ve always hated being abandoned. But then again, who doesn’t? My bastard of a dad had done it to me and my mother when we needed him most. I always felt so small, so vulnerable. And I hated feeling those things the most. I didn’t like feeling helpless. Not one bit.

            So I really took it hard when I woke up one morning to find Myungsoo’s room bare, empty. Only the bed-frame and chest drawers remained. But all of his clothes, all of his little trinkets were all gone.

            I panicked and quickly ran downstairs, finding him nowhere in sight. My mother and Mr. Kim were sitting in the dining room, drinking their morning cups of tea. Their faces appeared solemn.

            “M-Mom,” I said shakily as I warily approached them. “Where is…where’s—

            “—he left, Naeun.”

            “Why? Why would he leave without telling me anything?” I asked.

            The two stayed quiet.

            “Why aren’t you guys telling me anything? WHY?!” I hated being kept out of the loop. I hated how there were more questions than answers.

            “Naeun, I know you’ve grown very close to Myungsoo over the past couple of months. But this is something that he wanted to do on his own. He’s an independent man now. We have to set him free to do what he wants,” my mother said reassuringly.

            “I just don’t get why you guys can’t tell me where he went,” I said, my eyes already watery. “Why wouldn’t he say anything to me?”

            Mr. Kim shrugged. He took a sip of his tea. “Maybe he was trying to prevent this. But it had happened anyways.”

            I stormed back upstairs and locked myself in my room for the entire day. I cried; I just couldn’t seem to stop crying. I hated how he had abandoned me and told me nothing of his whereabouts.

            I’d never asked about Myungsoo’s plans after high school. Maybe I didn’t even want to know; I didn’t want to think that he would leave me. And I had faith that he wouldn’t. If he did, I would’ve liked if he had said at least something, something that would keep me sane enough until I saw him again.

            But he hadn’t done anything.

            After Myungsoo left, it was clear that I changed. I quit student council halfway through my junior year. I talked less, and suddenly became one of those quiet girls in class that hardly talks. The popularity that I had or once attained was no longer deemed valid. I still danced. If anything, dance was the only thing that kept me sane without Myungsoo.

            I desperately wanted to forget about him. I went around my room, trying to throw things out that reminded me of him. Then I realized that there was hardly anything to throw out. He had left no footprints whatsoever. Any pictures of him and me at my parent’s wedding were kept in a place that I had no knowledge of. My parents hardly even talked about him. It was as if I was the only child again. The only proof of his existence was the picture of me and him at the graduation party, our “prom” picture.

            I wanted to throw it away. I really did. I wanted to tear it up into pieces and burn it.

            But I couldn’t bring myself to do it, no matter how hard I tried.

            After getting tired of moping around for someone who had obviously moved on, I asked my mother if I could move in with Yookyung up in Seoul. She’d moved up there to be with her dad, and had auditioned for Cube Entertainment in the process. She ended up convincing me to do the same and bam. New life, new dreams, new people.

            I didn’t know where Myungsoo went. I didn’t know what he was doing. I didn’t know when I would ever see him again. I hoped that he was happy, wherever he was. I tried forgetting about him to the best of my ability.

            But every night, as I lied there in bed, all of my thoughts coming together, I couldn’t help but miss him. And wonder when or if I would ever see him again.