“Krystal!”, I exclaimed turning around at once. The woman was just behind me, smiling and waiving her hand. She looked as beautiful as years ago.
“Hi”, she said and, with little hesitation, hugged me. I didn’t return it though so she quickly pulled back.
“Am I not allowed to do that?”, she stared innocently.
What to tell her? It’s not that she wasn’t “allowed” or that I hated her too much. Still ‘I completely forgot that you existed and I was happy like that.’ was an inappropriate response too.
Instead of all this I gave her a weak smile.
“It’s been a while, huh.”
“Two years? Since Kibum and I graduated.”, she nodded.
I winced when his name left but she didn’t noticed. Or at least didn’t show if she did.
“Let’s sit in the café? After all we do have things to say and remember.”, she asked me still grinning and linked her arm with my mine dragging me.

“It’s better this way.”, she sat on the comfortable cushions. I sat on the chair opposite to her still uttering nothing.
“Are you here alone?”, she asked. Guess she was trying really hard to start a conversation.
“No. I’m with Kibum.”
“Oh”, here voice went a little low, “So you are still together?”
I nodded. There wasn’t a reason to lie no matter how strange it was speaking with her about us.
“I see. Well, I’m kind of glad.”
“You are?”, this came out more surprised than I wanted it to. It caused her eyes to narrow and she threw me a “look”.
“Hey, I’m not a monster, I don’t wish you to rot alone in some hole!”, she started laughing but I could only smiled cursorily. “Well I guess sometimes I wished that your love wouldn’t work out after all. But he loved you in the end didn’t he? It a good thing.”
“Yeah, he did”, I muttered.
Memories flooded my mind. Meeting her again, speaking with her, looking at her face made me remember the past I didn’t like. I stared in her eyes seeing the same thought there – we could only think of that past no matter that we knew it was better forgotten and not spoken about.
She tossed aside her hair. I see that habit never changed.
It was the first thing I memorized about her. And the first thing I didn’t like.


--- Flashback ---

“Isn’t she pretty”, Kibum asked looking above his book at my direction. I turned around to see.
Yeah, she sure was – sitting alone and reading, unaware of the others around her. Like she didn’t belong here – the dirty canteen but some golden beach where the sun could play among her hair and shine on her white skin. She tossed her hair aside and the brown curls came down her back, covering it like a waterfall. Really, beautiful.
I could see Kibum looking at her enchanted.
Denying the little pain in my chest I laughed at him.
“Do you want to introduce you two?”, I asked winking. He blushed adorably immediately looking down.
“Do you know her?”
“No, but can get to.”, winking again I pinched him on the arm.
“It hurts, stop!”, he winced like always. And like always a smiled. Or maybe it appeared to him like a smirk because he frowned instead.
“So you want me to?”
“Y-yeah”

‘I got myself in some , didn’t I?’, was my thought that day as a approached her at the front gate.
“Hello!”

---End of flashback ---  
   

“I saw his exhibition last July, it was magnificent”, she said with melancholy in her voice, “He really knows what art is, just like back than. Not like me – doing only the things that was easy.”
“Well, you were good too. Wasn’t your dream to be a writer? That’s why you majored English, right?”
“It remain only a dream, though. I never actually tried. Just dreaming.”
“We are like that.”, I laughed realizing how much her words suited my situation too, “Always dreaming and never doing something. We, the ordinary people, are like that.”
“I guess”, she laughed too. “But you aren’t doing bad I heard. Director?”
“It’s only one section and I should say knowing the boss back than helped me. But I’m content with my life, as it is, yes. Nothing too outstanding but still happy enough.”, it’s true. My life was happy with Kibum in it. And without her.
“Yeah, especially with the love of your life beside you.”, she said not laughing anymore, “You know …”, ‘Oh no, don’t say it’, “I thought a lot about that time two years ago. I even hated you.”
“Krystal…”
“Which was stupid of me, knowing I broke up with him first.”
“Well, the things don’t always go as you want.”, I tried to say something smart. It didn’t work.
“However I can’t help but thinking :’Did they really went wrong? Didn’t I … make a mistake or something.’ ”, I didn’t try say a thing anymore. It was her time to talk and I couldn’t help it.
“He really was too good. Too perfect maybe. I remember when we talked about this. How he makes you feel insecure of yourself being so good and even making you believe that he loves you no matter what. Like he’s not a human but a… a… ”
“An angel”, I helped her. This day was still clear in my mind. The love I felt for Kibum was already vivid, eating me and hurting me when I watched him with Krystal.
Maybe if they were ordinary couple I would be alright. But they suited each other. They loved each other. And were happy.
This was the first time I understood I wasn’t a good person. I wanted to ruin their happiness. Rather see Kibum unhappy than in bliss with someone else. Rather make him miserable than let him go.


--- Flashback ---

“Maybe you should talk about it?”, I suggest to Krystal. We were eating our lunch on a bench near the university. On Friday Kibum’s lectures starts later so it was just me and her.
Somehow all the crap I caused to myself made us friends. Funny, isn’t it? I because the person he confessed about her love troubles and love happiness. And the person who wanted to see her gone for good.
“I don’t know if I can.”, she was looking at her feet, “I can’t just tell him: “Stop being so fine!” right? It’s not his fault in the first place.”
She got it there. It wasn’t his fault. But still it’s able to get you frustrated.
“Then … Break up for a while? Maybe time can change the things and get you closer.”, or maybe not.
“Break up?”, she repeated with hesitated voice.
“Or call it “giving yourself a little time apart.” You love each other and should be fine. And it would give you a little break to think about the problem. Like you said, talking isn’t an option. If it goes like that you might break up for real!”
I smiled seeing her eyes giving in. Yeah, break up. And let me take over.

---End of flashback---


“Am I to be blamed? Was he who made it go wrong simply being himself. Or … Was it you? I asked myself this things over and over again.”
“Krystal, that … The past …”, I wanted to drop the conversation. Wanted to run away and forget. My life was happy that’s right. If I forget the guilt and the fear.
Since that time I was always scared of myself. What would I do to my Bummie if he stops loving me? Will I be able to stop myself this time? Or I’ll just hurt and hurt him again until he can’t be anywhere but with me? It was like a volcano. Now it’s calm and happy. But could it stay this way forever?
Krystal however had decided to tell me everything she kept in her. Maybe it was her revenge?
“When we had I was at loss. I should have loved him not you. I should be sorting out my thoughts, helping our relationship, not ruining it. What had I done? And after two days it became clear. What I had done. What you had done. What I had lost and why.”


---Flashback---

“What to do, Jonghyun?”, we were in my room. She stood before me, only in her underwear. Not that I cared, “We can’t do this!”
“No, we can’t.”, I only said and rolled to the other side. Since we did it two days ago we had again and again. Why? I didn’t know for her, maybe because she knew no feelings can be involved.
“What to do? I can’t go back now, can I? To Kibum. It’s impossible.”
She sat on edge the bed an make me look at her.
“Your eyes are cold…”. People always said I have warm eyes, like puppy – big and round.
“You don’t love me”, she then stated. Not a question, not even a regretful remark. Just a statement.
“No, I don’t.”
“Then who?”
“Kibum.”, a simple answer. Without regret or hesitation. Just a statement. A cold one.

---End of flashback---


“Krystal, please stop!”, I couldn’t take more. All these memories, all the past that couldn’t forgive and forget. And Kibum sleeping in our room.
This should have been a happy moment. A very happy one. Not a moment where I collapse in the same hole again.
I stood up and payed for the drinks, wanting to get away. But she was faster - grabbing my wrist with her arm, not letting me go. I could feel her long nails digging in my skin.
“I never told him, right? He still loves you.”
It was just a whisper. Calm and quite.
But I heard him clearly.
And shivered.

I'm sorry for the mistakes or if it was a crappy written chapter, I'm just too tired to go over it again.
I guess I just posted it and hoped fo the best ^^^

Did you understand the story? Please say if you did or didn't so I can know if I or not :p.
Just to say - I'm making Jonghyun the bad guy not Krystal. Well, he isn't so bad either. Just don't hate them. Or hate them if this make the fic interesting ^_^

Pleeease comment! This chapter was hard. And is imortant for me. So tell me what you think. How you feel. Do you blame/ hate/ pity someone? Is the story ruined now when I added some drama? I thinks it's more interesting like that, but who knows...
Please tell me if the chapter too so I can make more efforts from now on/ quit writing T.T

Thanks for reading ^^^