Saturday, February 14, 2009…

            From the moment I woke in the morning, I had butterflies in my stomach.  I was a mix of excitement and nervousness, my mind preoccupied with what we had planned for later.  I was thankful that Sungmin offered to cook breakfast because I wasn’t sure I could manage it without throwing up.  Still, I sat in the kitchen with him as he cooked since no one else was up to keep him company.  I couldn’t sleep anyway.

            “Do I dare ask what you and Kyuhyun have planned for the day?” Sungmin asked after stirring the pot of broth soup boiling on the stovetop.

            I walked over to where he stood and leaned against the counter, not wanting to speak too loud and be overheard by anyone, although everyone still appeared to be sleeping.  “We’re going to sleep together.”

            “WHAT?” he hollered.

            “Shhh!” I hushed him, clasping my hand over his mouth.  “Quiet!  Someone will hear!”

            Sungmin bat my hand away and lowered his voice to a whisper.  “You’re going to let that dumb- screw you?  I thought this was supposed to be a romantic day?”

            “Don’t say it like that,” I said, frowning.  “Kyuhyun is actually rather romantic, despite what you might think, just not in conventional ways.  He says the most darling things to me.”

            “Yeah, he’s always been a sweet-talker when he wants something and you’re playing right into his little trap,” Sungmin grumbled.

            “I know this is hard for you to believe, but I want to sleep with him.  I’ve been dying to for so long and now I feel ready.  Kyuhyun’s been so patient with me and I know he’ll be gentle.  And I think he’ll—”

            “No, no!” Sungmin snapped, placing his hands over his ears.  “I don’t want to hear details!  No details!  Just thinking about it disturbs me.  I think you ought to wait a little longer just to be sure he’s really worth it.  I can’t even tell from his actions that anything’s changed between the two of you.  He probably doesn’t care about you as much as you care about him.”

            I shook my head and smiled, knowing that Sungmin wouldn’t change his mind no matter what I said.  He was just being protective of me and I appreciated his concerns, even if I didn’t agree with him.  “We’ve waited for almost two months already, if you don’t count what we did on his birthday.”

            Sungmin had turned his back on me to turn the flame down a little, but he whipped back around so fast, I jumped a little.  “What did you two do on his birthday?”

            “I gave him a .”

            Sungmin actually crouched down and hung his head down between his knees.  “I think I’m going to be sick.”

            “If you don’t want me to talk to you about my relationship with Kyuhyun, I completely understand and I’ll just go to someone else to chat when I need to talk.”

            “Like who?” he asked, his voice muffled.

            “Like Heechul.”

            Sungmin jumped back up.  “You told that blabbermouth?”

            “No…he figured it out on his own.”

            “You’ll be lucky if the whole city doesn’t know by next week.”

            “He won’t say anything,” I assured him, walking over to the rice maker to check on the rice.  “In fact, I felt a lot better after chatting with him.  I’m more certain of what I want now.”

            Sungmin mumbled to himself and the only words I heard out of it were strangle and bastard.  I thought it better not to ask him about it and simply fluffed up the rice with a spoon. 

            “And I suppose that selfish jerk didn’t reciprocate?”

            “I thought you didn’t want to hear?”

            “I’ve already heard more than I wanted to, so you may as well finish telling me about it.”

            “I didn’t want him to—I wanted it to be all about him because it was his birthday—but after I’d begun to fall asleep, I woke to him giving me a .  Oh God…I can’t begin to tell you how good that felt.  The way he touches me, the way he—”

            “Changed my mind!” he quickly exclaimed, holding up his hands for me to stop.

            I laughed and closed the lid on the rice steamer to keep it warm.  “I was just going to say, the way he kisses me…it makes me think there’s no one else in existence except the two of us.  And I never feel completely satisfied.  I never get to be with him as much as I want.  We kiss for hours sometimes while we’re alone, literally, and I still don’t want it to end.”

            “That’s probably because he’s doing it wrong.”

            I smacked Sungmin’s shoulder hard.  “He’s not doing anything wrong!  I never felt that way when kissing a girl.”

            “How do you know he’s doing it right then?  Have you ever kissed another guy?”

            “No…unless you count those times on television programs?”

            “No,” he said, shaking his head.  “Then I think you should kiss some other guy and see if you’re right.”

            “Who the hell would I kiss?  It isn’t exactly common knowledge that I’m gay, is it?  And that’s assuming I would actually care to kiss anyone else, which I don’t.”

            “Damn right you’re not kissing anyone else or I’ll have to kill them,” came a voice from the doorway.

            “Kyu!” I cried out in excitement.  I rushed across the kitchen and jumped into his arms.  Kyuhyun kissed me passionately, grabbing onto my waist and pulling me flush against him, making me moan out in pleasure when I felt his morning wood poking me in my abdomen.

            I could hear Sungmin throwing a quiet temper tantrum and complaining about getting a damn room before Kyuhyun finally released me and smirked over at our hyung.  “You’re just jealous because you were going to volunteer to pucker up yourself and I interrupted.”

            Sungmin stared him down, tilting his head to the side.  “You worried, Kyu?”

            “No, I’m not, but I’m not letting anyone else kiss him.  He’s already kissed Hyukjae back when they were in the pool together for that breathing underwater and that’s all the comparison he needs.”

            “That was a bit unconventional, I’m not sure if that even counts,” I said, smiling to myself.  I had felt extremely awkward kissing him and that almost confirmed my belief of only wanting Kyuhyun right there.  Then again, I think kissing anyone underwater while being filmed would seem a little strange.

            “They barely kissed at all.  Look at how many times I kissed Hyukjae!  And, Wookie and I have already kissed when we played the Kissing Card Game,” Sungmin pointed out.

            I had forgotten about that.  That was probably because whenever I did think about the Kissing Card Game, I thought only of Kyuhyun and how we couldn’t stop laughing.  For me, it was all out of nervousness, since I already liked him, and this came only a week after telling each other I love you on the air, in August of 2006.  Of course, he never really meant it the way that I did, and I’ve always known it.  So, since we’d started dating, I hadn’t said it to him once.  I didn’t want him to confuse the meaning behind those words anymore.  I didn’t just love him like all the other members and our other friends in the music industry.  I was in love with him.

            “I get it!  It’s Valentine’s Day and you’re just jealous because we have each other and you have no one.  You just want someone to kiss you so you don’t feel lonely.  If that’s the case, just pucker up for me, Minnie, and I’ll take care of you,” Kyuhyun threatened, walking over to Sungmin and wrapping his arm around his shoulder.  When Kyuhyun leaned towards his cheek, Sungmin yelped and pushed against Kyuhyun, clearly disgusted by the idea.

            Kyuhyun just laughed and headed back over towards me, wrapping me up in his arms.  Sungmin had his back to us and began talking about that day from the past, but we ignored him and started kissing.  Then, Kyuhyun broke our lips apart and pulled me out of the room and down the hall to the bedroom he shared with Sungmin.  I looked around nervously and stopped in my tracks.  Kyuhyun gave me a questioning look and I glanced around nervously.  Kyuhyun opened the door and then lifted me up into the air and I had to bite my lip to keep from yelping out of surprise.  He closed the door quickly and tossed me into his bed. 

            “I have to leave,” I whispered, trying to push him away as he climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around me.  “Someone will hear us or find out we’re in bed together.”

            “No one will think it’s strange,” he said, nuzzling against my neck.  “I just want to sleep a little longer and I can’t stay asleep without you beside me.  We’ve fallen asleep before together and no one’s said anything.”

            There was some truth in that.  I couldn’t tell y