Friday, April 20, 2009…

            Until you have for the first time, you never understand how once you’ve started sleeping with someone, you want to sleep with them as much as possible—at least for the first few months—and so I came to discover, after that first time with Kyuhyun, that I was constantly .  This wouldn’t be so bad if we were actually left home alone enough to conceivably be together on a regular basis, but we weren’t.  So instead, we became incredibly sneaky.  While I would have always considered myself a rather conservative person before I began dating Kyuhyun, I was beginning to come up with some rather unorthodox ideas in order to have Kyuhyun on a somewhat regular basis, including: car , shower , dance studio (the mirrors really add a nice touch—he has such a hot ), cheap hotel , and dressing room .  There were a few times we locked Sungmin out of the room and he was at least decent enough to give us a half hour before he pounded on the door, angrily insisting we let him into the room, but eventually the other members would catch onto that too.  Still, I couldn’t come up with a real solution to our problem.

            “Why don’t we just tell them?” Kyuhyun whispered to me as he drug me down the hall to the storage closet.

            I ignored his suggestion and frowned as we stopped outside the tiny doorway.  “There’s no room in there,” I warned.

            “There’s no room to lie down and I’d be damned if I’d get down on the floor anyway, God only knows what some of them have stored in here.  Standing room only is just fine…besides, you seem to have a thing for me taking you from behind.”

            I looked away.

            “See, you can’t even deny it,” he softly teased.

            I elbowed him as he turned the key for the closet and then he quickly shoved me inside.  Sungmin was rather sick that day and, just after lunch, was still sleeping soundly.  Not, of course, sound enough not to hear us going at it in the same room, however.  (Not that I could be talked into something like that.  I did draw the line at having an audience.)  Eunhyuk, Donghae, and Kibum were playing video games in the living room and hollering at each other and the screen as they played, which would be more than enough to prevent them from hearing us.  We’d become rather talented at keeping quiet since we first started sleeping together a couple months before.  I felt positive that no one besides Sungmin and Heechul knew about us dating, since we toned down our flirty behavior when in front of the others and no one had said anything to imply they knew. 

            Kyuhyun closed the door, which eliminated all the light in the small storage area and I fumbled around, clinging onto Kyuhyun’s arms just to keep from tripping over something.  “Turn on the light.”

            “We can’t turn on the light,” Kyuhyun whispered back.  “You can see the light come out through the bottom of the door and there’s no way to lock this from inside.  Someone will either come in to turn it off or they’ll realize we’re in here.”

            “If we don’t have the light on, we’re not going to be able to see anything,” I warned him.

            “I’m sure our eyes will adjust in a couple minutes,” he said, wrapping his arms around me bumping his forehead against mine as he tried to find my lips to kiss me.  “Oops, sorry!”

            I lifted my hands to grasp is face so I could drag it down to mine, but I ended up poking him in the face.

            “Ah!  That was my eye!”

            “I’m sorry, honey,” I said, finally managing to grasp his shoulders.  I rose up onto my tiptoes and kissed his cheek and I could tell he was covering his eye with his hand.  “Perhaps this isn’t a good idea.  How about we just come up with another idea?”

            “This is the only time we have a half empty dorm while we’re home for the next week or two!  We can’t let it go to waste,” he insisted.  “There will be members home all weekend and then we have promotions and practices all next week because of Sorry, Sorry’s success.”

            “Well, my eyes haven’t adjusted at all and I think this is going to be rather uncomfortable.  I’m sure that there will be a break sometime in the next week,” I reasoned.

            “Baby, I’ve wanted you for days now,” he pleaded.

            I shook my head and then realized belatedly that he couldn’t see me.  “No, we’ll find some other time,” I told him.

            Kyuhyun sighed heavily, knowing when he wasn’t going to get his way.  “Okay, fine…just, at least let me kiss you for a little while.  I haven’t even gotten that much in a week or something.”

            “It’s only been three days,” I said.

            “Three days feel so long sometimes.”

            “You’ve seen me every day.”

            “And I don’t want you to think I’m not thankful for that.  I’m not so needy that I’ll go crazy if I don’t sleep with you every day, but I really miss being able to act normal around you.  I just wish that we could kiss or touch each other when we’re at the dorm.”

            “So do I,” I said, finally finding the back of his head and drawing his mouth down to mine, pressing my lips firmly against his. 

            Kyuhyun pressed his body close to mine, his hands slipping under the back of my shirt and rubbing circles against my skin and I moaned against his lips, having missed his touch as much as he missed mine.  Of the two of us, I had to be the voice of reason when he was acting too risky, but deep down I was just as frustrated as he was.  I wanted him so much more than I was able to have him.  And now that we’d been dating almost four months and sleeping together a little more than two, I thought the novelty would wear off and we wouldn’t be so desperate to be with one another, but it was actually getting worse.  I felt more for him as time went by, even if I still carefully guarded those words from him.  Aside from telling him I loved him when he was asleep on that first night together—when there was no risk of him hearing me—I’d not said them again.  He hadn’t made any admission to stronger feelings either.  He did still say I love you in front of the members sometime, but the same amount that he’d done before we dated.  If I had to guess from his actions, however, since Kyuhyun wasn’t known for speaking from the heart very often, I’d say that he felt more for me as time went by as well.

            I melted into his kiss, feeling my knees actually wobble just a touch as he darted his tongue into my mouth.  He was holding me so tight, my breaths began to come in shallow intakes, but I was unwilling to separate from him. 

            We were so distracted by one another, we didn’t hear anything outside the closet until suddenly the door whipped open and the light flipped on.  In shock, we both turned to face the door and I would have fallen over from surprise if Kyuhyun weren’t holding onto me still.

            Eunhyuk leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest, and grinned wicke