Because I Miss You More Today - Davichi

Refuge

“I bought an order of Jjamppong[1] and left it on the dining table. Don’t eat it cold; just reheat it, okay?” Luhan’s voice resonated through the speaker of the phone, whereas Aerin continued to nod groggily. The former knew that the girl just woke up and so he didn’t bother waiting for her response and continued speaking. “I just want to make sure again, Aerin, but,” Luhan paused for a second. “Are you sure you can handle being by yourself? You know, Sehun can just go there—“

At the sound of the younger male’s name, Aerin’s foggy eyes became clear and her consciousness became fully alert. “How many times do I have to tell you Luhan, that I can perfectly take care of myself?” She then sighed deeply as she took out the heated noodles from the microwave. Being the lazy kid that she was, Aerin decided to forego using a pot holder, rendering her a cursing mess as she held onto the hot container with her bare hands.

Her annoyance even heightened, once Luhan started speaking again. “See! Even if I can’t see you right now, I know you’re burning yourself already!”

Dropping the container on the table with pure irritation, Aerin hissed. “Luhan, will you just shut up?”

Her cold voice pacified the male. Had Aerin not been too clumsy then he wouldn’t really be nagging at her; Luhan was just deeply worried. “Okay, okay, but you do know that I’m only worrying about you, right?” Aerin didn’t respond, but hearing the slurping of the noodles in the background, Luhan was sure she heard him and so he continued. “I know that you know this already, but Sehun’s really a good kid. He can be insensitive at times, but he really doesn’t mean to be like so,” He then spoke once more, causing for Aerin to stop eating. “He doesn’t know the real score between your family and… and that woman.”

Aerin was well aware of that fact; she knew that Sehun was clearly oblivious about the real situation between her and Dahee. In spite of that knowledge though, that night, no matter how composed or rational Aerin usually was, something inside of her just snapped abruptly, causing her to feel all kinds of hatred and contempt.

And just like how there are those times where you suddenly snap and the next moment you feel bad about what you’ve done, Aerin’s exactly the same. After cooling herself down, her rationality came back and made her realize that what she did was wrong; that Sehun’s statement was purely harmless and that she just overreacted. She hated herself for that, for letting her anger get the best of her. It was something that she shouldn’t even have taken seriously, yet she acted immaturely and walked out during dinner time—an action which would’ve angered her mom very badly.

“Yeah, I know.” Aerin answered, staring at the halfway emptied bowl of Jjamppong. Sehun did nothing wrong.

She felt remorseful for acting like how she did before; Aerin felt bad for treating Sehun rudely when the male clearly didn’t do anything wrong. I should really think twice before acting or doing something. She wanted to apologize for her rudeness and immaturity, but days already passed after that night and not once did they see nor communicate with each other. If it was only a simple mistake, like when she poured juice on his shirt, then it would’ve been easier to apologize; however, it was entirely different, and knowing how she acted, she reckoned that Sehun wouldn’t even want to see her. He has her house keys so he could clearly come to their house, but a week had passed already and there was still no sign of him.

Luhan wasn’t even around to keep Aerin company, but she thought that maybe it was better that way since that was what she initially wanted—to break free from his grasp. Albeit, going back to her usual routine of staying all day long locked inside her room, Aerin felt different. She would be lying if she said that she wasn’t fond of going out or playing outside with her friends, especially since for the past few weeks, those were what all she did with the Oh brothers.

It already grew on her, the times that they spent together with just playing and fooling around. It was a good change—one of which she was starting to get used to—so going back to square one inside her lifeless room became abnormally unpleasant.

She didn’t really want to admit it, but honestly, she missed them. I miss Luhan and Sehun.

Lying down on her bed with a bored look after eating lunch, Aerin continued to surf the internet on her phone, looking for a good but affordable apartment which she can rent once she goes back to California. Since the start of summer, she had been preoccupied with various stuffs that she had completely forgotten about the things she needed so her wish of being independent would be fulfilled. However, the once excited expression she usually had whenever she looked into it was gone, and was replaced by indifference—one of which could not deny the fact that she was indeed unhappy.

And so she heaved a sigh and dropped her phone beside her. She was clearly not in the mood to look into stuffs concerning her future for she was distracted; especially since she could clearly see her pin board above the headboard of her bed. “He said he’d fill it with pictures…” Aerin mumbled, her eyebrows creasing in dissatisfaction as she stared at the two pictures posted on the board.

It was so mindboggling how everything that Aerin saw reminded her of Sehun. The thought of him wasn’t really unpleasant, but remembering her faults was. Everything made her feel guilty and mortified, and she couldn’t even do anything about it. I could just apologize to him… but I don’t know how to.

Heaving another sigh, Aerin just closed her eyes. She had already been thinking about the matter for the past week, so she clearly needed to take a break. Luckily, the prospect of going to Seoul with Heegun tonight helped her mind ease a bit. She wasn’t in the best state, but she was glad that there was some kind of improvement happening around her. I definitely need to take a breather with dad.

The sounds of knocks on the glass window brought Aerin’s nap to an end, but only when she finally opened her eyes that her consciousness became fully awake. What the—abruptly getting up from her lying position, she quickly opened the window, trying to ignore the dizziness that was coming in on her. “What are you doing here?!” Aerin asked with creased eyebrows as she watched the male crawl from a wooden ladder—which was standing right beside her window—onto her bed. “Why did you have to go through the window? Don’t you have a copy of the house keys?”

Seeing the girl after a week gave a huge relief to Sehun; all of his worries disappeared and were replaced with nothing but happiness. He missed Aerin so much that he initially didn’t want to wake her up and just watch her sleep all day long, for she looked so cherubic and beautiful. Not even a day of only staring at her would suffice for Sehun; however, he can’t be distracted. He came to sort out things between them, so he quickly regained his composure and landed on her bed.

“I-I have but,” Shifting on his position beside Aerin on the bed, Sehun then pointed to the door with a shrug. “You locked your bedroom door so…” Confirming that it was indeed locked, Aerin stayed still. She opened to speak, but remembering their current situation, she continued to be silent. Sehun stared at her awkwardly, understanding what her actions meant,