Kyuhyun’s lips on him felt damn amazing that he forgot that he supposed to act like he had a boyfriend, he tugged on Kyuhyun’s locks and the other man pulled him closer by the waist tilting his head to gain the remaining distance between them, he felt how Kyuhyun’s tongue begged for entrance and who was he to deny the man he always wanted to be with.

His heart is bursting with all the feelings he had kept inside, he had loved Kyuhyun for years, this moment is all that matters. It was all he wanted, to breathe in air where Kyuhyun’s scent lingers, to feel those lips treasure him, worshipped him, to be the only one in Kyuhyun’s eyes.

Maybe all his inhibitions and fear is non-sense to begin with. Maybe it is time to face the fear and start anew, if its Kyuhyun… a risk is all it takes to change everything from simple friends to another level.

Air is still needed and the moment they broke the kiss, a smile started to form on his lips but it soon faded when he met Kyuhyun’s eyes.

There he saw what his stupidity did to his best friend.

“We- I- sorry…” Kyuhyun stammered moving further away from him, holding back the outburst of feelings. “I’m sorry I should have not kissed you, I should… you have a boyfriend and- I’m sorry…”

Yes, there it was. Kyuhyun is in pain.

“I- I should go.” Kyuhyun backed away some more before storming out of the room.

Sungmin’s knees gave in and the shock.

“Now… do you know what have your little lies have done?”

Leeteuk’s voice made him look up on the door and the look of disappointment on the elder’s eyes made him burst his heart out into heaps of sobs.

The elder followed Kyuhyun to the direction the younger man went and Sungmin was yet again left alone, to the painful fact that his fears made him and the man he love grew further apart.

***

Kyuhyun pushed open his bedroom door and there he loss all the control he had on his limbs. He felt so damn sinful yet he’s alive, very much alive. If only Sungmin was his, if only he didn’t have to remember that the other already have a lover and he had no space, no part in Sungmin’s life.

If he stayed longer, he might just do some things to inflict further damage on himself and on Sungmin’s happy relationship.

If he stayed then he will have to nurse his broken heart every second of every day.

He thought that it will work out, to be friends with someone you really love, to be happy with just looking but, it was no use. He will not live with it, he cannot do it. He’s born a selfish person, he cannot share and settle for what had left, that’s why a year ago when Sungmin becomes Jongwoon’s boyfriend, and knowing that the latter deserved Sungmin more than him he realized the possibility that he might lose the one person he wanted to be permanently there on his life, he realized that he cannot settle with just being friends, that he wanted to be someone Sungmin wanted to spent his every day with.

But he was too late.

“Kyuhyun?” a soft voice called him out of his reverie, he turned around towards the door to meet his hyung’s understanding smile.

“Teukie hyung…” Kyuhyun sighed but then his brows furrowed, his lips upturned and the hoarseness of his voice when he spoke gave away how broken he currently feel.

“I can’t do it anymore hyung, Let’s go back to Seoul…”

***

“Sungmin, what-?!” Yesung’s voice made the man curled up on the floor shook more from crying too hard. He had been there since Kyuhyun left the kitchen; he cannot walk, nor garner the strength to stand up. He’s just too weak at the moment, and his crying won’t do him anything good.

“Why are you crying? Did something happened?”

“Yesung hyung, I can’t do it. I… not anymore Hyung…”

*

“Are you sure about this?” Leeteuk asked Kyuhyun who managed to collect himself through all the tears and frustration pent up inside of him. He fixed himself, booked the earliest flight back to Seoul the next day and packed his belongings. He looked so out of it that Leeteuk only managed to say something about the situation at that moment.

A sad smile painted his lips as he pushed the last of his stuffs inside his suitcase. He left the room he used to stay in, clean. He decided that it’s time to leave, everything… including his friendship.

“I just need to say good bye hyung, it’s not easy believe me… but I guess me and him…” Kyuhyun sighed fixing himself before opening the door of his room.

He will end it tonight. Though his heart won’t have anything to beat for after this goodbye… he needed to free Sungmin, and maybe… free himself too

“…aren’t meant to be permanent either.”

*

“Hyung… I love him. I love him so so much Hyung, I can’t do it anymore. I needed him, and I know that he love me too, I just… I’m just too afraid so I hurted him… I was so scared to be hurt that I didn’t know I was the one causing him pain.”

Yesung smoothed Sungmin’s back as he gasped and the sobs became uncontrollable. “Oh Min, I told you… you shouldn’t have taken it further, you should have just told him the truth.”

*

Kyuhyun walked with heavy heart towards Sungmin’s room. He knew that his bestfriend will oppose, or maybe Sungmin will also let him leave, maybe he wanted a peaceful environment, maybe he isn’t needed anymore.

He laughed lowly. He had been played by Cupid’s sick game of love.

Now he can finally say that he have fallen in love with Lee Sungmin.

He can admit to himself the feelings he harbored and along with acceptance was the fact that he can't be with the other anymore.

He had decided abruptly because the more he thinks about it the more he will refuse to do it. The more it will be difficult.

They had been friends for such a long long time, it wasn’t easy… actually, it’s excruciating.

He walked a few more steps towards Sungmin’s room, he knew it was late, but now’s the time, if he didn’t say it, how will he able to say ‘goodbye’ tomorrow?

On the way to his bestfriend’s room he saw the door of the kitchen still open, he chuckled a bit, seeing from the door way the sight of Jongwoon embracing Sungmin.

His hand shook, he had decided to bid farewell but it seems that he cannot do it after all.

He wanted to go with proper words to the person who had been there all his life, yet it was impossible to stay seeing the person you love be happy with someone else.

So he took a step back, deciding that it’s best to disappear without saying a thing.

*

Jongwoon held Sungmin against his arm.

“I can’t do it.” Sungmin sobbed. “I can’t lie to him anymore. I should tell him that it was all a mistake, that you and I broke up a year ago before I left Seoul… that I just told that lie to cover up my weakness, to cover up my fear I-“

Sungmin stopped, eyes widening towards the man standing by the door way looking at him with anger and disappointment that he had not seen over the eleven years of their friendship.

“Kyuhyun-“

*

A lie.

It was a lie to cover up what?

He cannot understand those for a short bit of moment because all he can focus is the truth that came out of Sungmin’s mouth.

He decided to man up and tell Sungmin those three words he hadn’t had the guts to say, to ask for a chance but, it was like the heaven threw him on the ground harsh and hard.

But Sungmin’s lying about all of it.

Sungmin lied to him.

“Kyuhyun…”

The brunette looked up with the tears of frustration.

He had been hurting for nothing.

“Kyu-“

“Don’t” Kyuhyun raised his hand to wipe the ed up droplet of water from his eyes.

“Are you going to explain saying that you ed up?”

Kyuhyun stared at Sungmin, a sarcastic smirk on the edge of the man’s lips.

“Well… you really did, Lee Sungmin.”

TBC

A/N: >.< Kyuhyun’s damn mad