The only thing heard through dinner was the cluttering of china and the clinking of condiments. No one spoke and no one dared utter a word about the ruckus earlier that evening. Sungmin hated the tense atmosphere but at least Kyuhyun were too mad and dense to see the struggle he had to go through just to cover up his mess.

“Hyung I know this is too wrong and I’m asking for too much, Ryeowook, I’m sorry if I’m being an and a total jerk but please…”

“Help me pretend that I’m still with Jongwoon-hyung.”

Sungmin knew how stupid and selfish he must be but he’s not ready yet, he’s not ready to clarify the questions Kyuhyun will ask once he reveals the truth.

Kyuhyun dropped his fork and leaned back on his chair eyeing Ryeowook and Jongwoon across him.

“Are you sure you two, are not together?”

Ryeowook halted half-way and looked at Jongwoon who sighed lightly; he threw a look towards Sungmin before answering ‘yes’

“Kyu, I thought I explained this already.” Sungmin sighed not meeting Kyuhyun’s eyes and trying to swallow the food he’s chewing. “They’re childhood friends and Ryeowook happened to be practicing a line on his musical when accidentally your employees took a shot at them.”

It was a complete lie, and he knew Kyuhyun would realize that it is if he was looking at him but fortunately, he’s too preoccupied in stabbing his chicken than paying attention to Sungmin’s excuses, it was Sungmin’s turn to study his bestfriend, the small changes that happen through the span of a year, the brown fluffy hair flowed handsomely, reaching the tip of Kyuhyun’s ears, his jaw line became prominent leading him to a conclusion that Kyuhyun lose some weight, the movement of this features while munching still looks childish but nevertheless appealing to Sungmin’s eyes. He was so used to studying Kyuhyun’s actions that nothing look out of the ordinary, except a faint dark circles underneath those hot brown eyes, Kyuhyun’s lacking of sleep and a bit tired. It made his heart thump to the million questions of concern, he was about to lose control and question the other man when Kyuhyun looked at him.

A brief meeting of eyes and he can feel himself burn under those stare, and just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, Kyuhyun smiled. A genuine smile he hadn’t thought he missed.

“So…”

Leeteuk’s voice cut off the eye contact making Sungmin scramble back to eating. The elder looked at the two of them and the other two in front of him. Being the eldest and probably the wisest, he had been suspecting the odd atmosphere ever since Sungmin came back with his boyfriend and his friend. It’s like something’s hidden with those unsure stares and nervous glances, but knowing Kyuhyun who’s so dense and is always blinded by his emotions, he wouldn’t notice it, especially now that Sungmin is in front of him.

“I suppose everything’s cleared up for now…” Leeteuk proceeded with his speech purposely emphasizing the last two words. “Why don’t we all eat and enjoy Sungmin’s cooking, after all me and Kyu haven’t tasted something this brilliant for the last year.”

Kyuhyun threw a grudging glance towards his Hyung and began to munch the food, muttering words of denial like ‘that’s absurd…’ ‘restaurant food’s still great’ and ‘ …’

Sungmin almost sprayed his food towards Kyuhyun laughing at the reaction, it’s still the same. Kyuhyun’s flustered mumbling were the same as he remembered, cute and adorable.

“Stop grumbling your mouth will spray all the food eeewww…” Sungmin acted in disgust shoving a table napkin on Kyuhyun’s mouth an unconscious action he had developed through the years of being friends with Kyuhyun.

It fell suddenly quiet Kyuhyun’s looking at him in surprise and Sungmin stopped wiping Kyuhyun’s mouth. It was beyond awkward and Sungmin can’t help but wonder how such a natural thing for him to do became something that will place an awkward atmosphere between them. The distance he created… is it really that wide?

“Ya!” Kyuhyun retorted surprising Sungmin. “Stop it or I’ll bite your hands…”

Sungmin felt his heart stopped for a while when the infamous smirk placed upon Kyuhyun’s lips, giving him a hint that it was okay, that he need not put up his guard around him, that Kyuhyun still treated him as his bestfriend.

“Just try you-“ Sungmin pushed the table napkin back to Kyuhyun’s face and the air around them lighten by the laughter that followed their bickering.

***

“I know something’s very wrong…”

Leeteuk voiced out as he approached the clueless Jongwoon whose busy helping Ryeowook with the dishes.

“Huh? What’s wrong Hyung?” Jongwoon asked a chuckle escaping his lips before he handed a plate to Ryeowook a smile painting his lips.

Leeteuk stared at the two men and his hunches became even more correct. A smug plastered on his lips. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about.”

Jongwoon stopped and he lowered his head, his expression became serious as realization dawned on him. Leeteuk knows, and he can’t deny something that is very easy to see.

“What are you thinking, are you planning on hurting Kyuhyun? What the hell is this?!” the older said sternly, making Ryeowook stopped what he’s doing and turn towards them.

“Hyung… it’s not what you think….” Jongwoon started brushing up his hair with his fingers. “It’s a little bit complicated-“

“Try me.” Leeteuk’s stern expression made Jongwoon sighed in defeat. He looked at Ryeowook who seemed troubled by the whole situation and the other could only think of a way to clear things up with Leeteuk.  He will eventually find out about all this soon, it’s better to release a pent up secret to one who’s involve in the tangle Sungmin and Kyuhyun made.

Jongwoon took a deep breath before looking straight to Leeteuk’s eyes.

“This pretense started on the day Sungmin and I met…”

***

“Yesung, where are you taking that man?”

“Boss, he’s drunk, I need to at least get him out of this counter or else he might get or something…” Jongwoon said placing Sungmin’s limp arm around him and hoisting the other upright while assisting Sungmin’s waist from slumping.

“Okay, but don’t take long… geez you sure care about that customer a lot, if I had known better I say you fell in love with him at first sight.”

Jongwoon smiled at his manager’s mumbling, choosing not to answer back. He trudged heavily in his steps towards one of the private booths and placed the drunk man on the couch.

“Tch. Look at what you did to yourself…” Jongwoon sighed fixing Sungmin’s cloa, tucking him into a comfortable position.

“Sleep for a while okay, I’ll wake you up in the morning.” The elder man smiled warmly to the different swelling in his heart, the thing that he felt the first time he saw Sungmin, it’s weird but he knew that he liked the man a lot and he wanted to get to know him and talk to him more often, he may believed that he had a chance or a shot knowing that the man preferred guys too, but when he opened the doors with a goofy smile Sungmin mumbled something that killed the hope he had.

“Kyuhyun? Is that you? Please… don’t leave me… please…just stay with me…”

He knew from the start.

Though Sungmin hid it very very well, he knew better. He knew that this ‘Kyuhyun’ is the only man Sungmin needed, even if Sungmin had covered this secret with a numerous layer of mask and lies, he knew it.

When Sungmin broke down in front of him that day, his tears fell together with the tears Sungmin shed not because of his unrequited love, not because of hate, but because he cursed himself for being selfishly in love that he forgot that Sungmin needed to have a closure to these feelings that’s bothering him, Sungmin needed to know that Kyuhyun won’t love him as he always have but, at that fact he’s proved to be wrong again.

Because what he didn’t see coming is that Kyuhyun had always loved Sungmin, from the very start.

“Let’s break up…” as much as those words hurt he choose to say it, and eventhough the questioning in Sungmin’s eyes were making him hold on to the tiny string of hope that Sungmin love him as much as he loved the other, Sungmin’s words make him realize he had made the right decision to let go.

“Thank you.”

***

“Hey, this is beautiful…” Kyuhyun marveled at the sight of the light house. Sungmin had taken him to the masterpiece he created.

“Thank you.” Sungmin muttered sheepishly when they both moved to the top, the music the stairs created

Kyuhyun stopped and turn towards Sungmin who seemed to glow by the dim light coming from the light house.

“Your hair….”

It’s the first time Kyuhyun really looked at Sungmin, his anger rush and disappointment clouded his mind earlier and he regretted being that shallow.

“You just noticed?” Sungmin shyly brushed it and patted it with his hand. “I just think that blonde will be a change and you know, If it doesn’t look good then-“

“No.”

Kyuhyun interjected startling the shy man 3 steps below him. The pounding of his heart commenced as he took the small details of the face he had missed. Finally, he was able to close their distance, he could finally touch Sungmin again.

His hand reached out to touch Sungmin’s hair, patting it slowly when the contact almost knock his breath out of him.

“It looks really good, it’s …. Beautiful”

Kyuhyun leave the rest of his compliment to himself, Sungmin’s eyes stared deeply at him, round and innocent, the same eyes of the bestfriend he didn’t realize he always loved. Now, it’s too late, now… he can never be selfish.

Sungmin’s happy… then he should be happy too.

“kyuhyun?” Sungmin’s voice snapped him in his trance and his senses once again focus to the man leaning in  to his touch.

“I miss you…”

Sungmin’s words were choked up, as if hiding a pain behind it but Kyuhyun was too preoccupied to even hear the real meaning behind those words.

He’s in pain, he finally accepted that he needed to let go of Sungmin.

“Yeah…” came out the forced reply of the taller man.

“Me too…”

TBC

A/N: It’s been soooo long, I hope you still haven’t forgotten this fic of mine ^^ please shower me with your support so I could finish these…. Thanks my loyal readers…