Chen’s POV

I’m not sure how everything else went until I find myself at the hospital 3 hours later. I’m sitting next to my mother in a stupid disguise outside of Hei Ryung’s room. Her friend Rae is next to  us, but she’s silent, but not as silent and stone like as I am.

We wait for the doctor too leave the room before we stand up and basically corner him.

“Doctor… How is she?”

“Miss. Un is getting worse… There seems to be something pushing on her optic nerves causing her a great deal amount of pain. The fact that she was able to be at a concert much less walking around the last few weeks is amazing and worrisome.”

Rae grabs the doctor’s jacket, “What do you mean?”

“I mean Miss. Un has been in a great deal of pain even before the accident. She has a history of health issues it also doesn’t help that she has a low red blood cell count. She shouldn’t have come here. Miss. Un needs to be hospitalized and have some major surgery done.”

“What do you mean? She’s never complained about pain,” I yell as I shake the doctor.

I’m pulled away by my mother and Rae as the doctor says, “That’s probably cause she didn’t want anyone to worry about her. Have you seen any signs of this?”

I think back to the time I’ve spent with her… she has been hiding this from us.

I look away from the doctor as I feel the guilt wrap around me. I can’t believe I never noticed this and now here she is in a great amount of pain.

I I slip into her room as I calmed down too sit by her side.

I take her hand in my own as I bring it up too my lips too give it a small kiss.

“Why did you confess like that? Now you’re like this.”

I feel someone wipe under my eyes causing me to jump back in my seat. I look too see Hei Ryung looking like she’s in pain as she his leaning forward on the bed towards me.

“I knew it. You’re crying, Jongdae.”

I try to hide it from her, “What do you mean?”

She holds up her hand, “Did I stick my hand in a vase or something instead of on your face? Jongdae I know you… Sure we’ve never spent time with each other in person, but we’ve talked a lot. I somehow thought that you’d be crying. Though I also expected you to try to say some kind of joke.”

Your POV

I try to lighten the mood, but nothing seems to be working with Chen.

I sigh as I look down at where my hands seems to be, “Is it hard knowing me?”

I know my voice cracked and I’m on the verge of crying, but I had to ask him.

He looks at me shocked as he holds my hand in his, “It’s not hard at all. What’s hard is knowing you’re in pain. I hear that you are hiding it from me and it hurts more than anything.”

I look at him confused and I know that I’m crying, “It’s okay. Jongdae… I’m used too the pain. I guess I never told you that I remember the last year… that I’ve been lying that I didn't know anything. I know what happened in the car accident that took my father’s life. I know what I had been doing until 7 months ago.”

He looks at me a bit shocked and almost mad at me, “What the hell! Do you know how much I worried about you this entire time.”

I look at him surprised, “Jongdae… what’s wrong? Why…?”

He looks at me as he shrugs his shoulders, “I have worried about you for the last year… No, it’s been longer than that and you tell me that you remember the last 12 months since the accident. I had to know what was happening through your mother.”

I sit up and scream at him, “I wasn’t in my right mind. All I could think of was my father was dead because of me. I was the one that wanted to go out even though it was a bad storm. I was the one that wanted to go so I could go shopping. My selfishness killed my father. I deserve this… No, I deserve far worse than this. I loved him more than my mother. Sometimes I wish it was here who died. Her foulness had destroyed my family and had passed it too me. I killed him Jongdae. I had killed him it’s all my fault.”

Jongdae grabs my shoulders a bit harshly as he makes me look at him, “It was not your fault. It was your mother’s fault. The brake lines were cut how would you know that.”

I give him a look as I remember what had happened. I hold my head as I feel the pain of the accident and the pain behind my eyes become burning acid that is running through my body.

Flashback

“Dad, I want too go too the mall real quick.”

My father looked at me like I was insane, but still he smiled at me as he nodded his head, “Alright let’s go.”

He didnt’ even ask me why I wanted to go and truthfully I hardly remember.

I laugh as we pile into the car and I notice that the door on the side of the garage is open, but I ignore it thinking dad had left it open last night.

If only I had mentioned something maybe we wouldn’t have gotten into the car my father would be alive.

We’re driving in the heavy rain and we’re making a busy section of the city where we actually meet a red light.

My father starts applying pressure to the brakes to stop the car, but it doesn’t slow down at all. He lets up on the gas, but the problem is it’s on a hill so the car keeps moving.

Dad goes to turn the emergency brake on, but it doesn’t seem to be working.  

“What’s going on? Is something wrong with the car? Dad, why are you messing with the emergency brake?”

I kept calm something that probably scared my father, but it’s all I could do. I know if I freaked out it would worry him even more so being coolheaded is the best I could do for my dad.

Still when I got too open the door to bail out my seatbelt becomes stuck.

“Dad, I’m stuck… What do I do?”

I remember him leaning over to help me with my seatbelt when there’s a crash against the car and we’re sent flying.

Dad had wrapped himself in front of me like I was a baby instead of someone over the age of 20.

I had woken up in the hospital 3 months later from a coma that I had been placed in too help swelling in my brain. I remember the next 4 months perfectly.

End of Flashback

I look at my hands, “I don’t want to spend anymore time in the hospital…. So if you can please help me get out of here?”

I stare up at Jongdae and I see pity in his eyes something I don’t want too see from him.

“I’ll see what I can do… but Hei Ryung you realize that it’s all up the doctors and your mother.”

I look at him as I scuff leaning my head against the pillows, “I guess she’s still called that, huh.”

Jongdae sighs as he looks at my hand he’s still holding playing with my fingers, “no matter how much you try to claim you dislike her she’s still your mother.”

I look away from Jongdae as I mumble a few things and carefully, but still painfully, flip over on my side too I wouldn’t have too look at him.

I know I’m being mean, but I feel like I can’t look at him.. not when I’m like this.

I hear the door open again and I peek over my shoulder too see it’s someone from the news. I hit Jongdae and mouth, “News.”

He sighs as he slips on his glasses and mask on.

“See you, Gaia,” he whispers as he pats my shoulder and slips through without too much of a second look.

I slowly move so I’m sitting up against the pillows. I groan as i push the pillows more back and I hope Jongdae was far enough that he didn’t hear it.

“Miss. Un… We are here too talk too you about the concert you went too last night?”

I wince as I realize that they had the lights when they said that.

I cover my eyes and hold back my scream of pain, but it didn’t work very well.

I hear someone run in and the light switch being hit hard so it’d turn off.

I hold my breath hoping it wasn’t Jongdae.

I sigh in relief as I hear my doctor yell, “What the hell is wrong with you? Did you get permission to enter this room?”

I cover my ears now, but I keep my eyes shut as well.

I slowly uncover them as I look over at my doctor as he says, “Here you go put these on Miss. Un.”

I nod my head as I slip on the glasses that I was handed, “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing your friend the over protective boy told me to hand them too you… Also he was the 1 that told me too go too your room.”

I smile as I look down at my hand that he had held, “That sure sounds like him in a way. Even though he’s so forgetful at times.”

“By the way who is he anyways he was here with an older woman and a girl about your age?”

“The woman was his mother, the girl was my best friend.”

“So from what I heard you had gone too an exo concert and some big event happened and now the news wants to talk to you.”

I nod my head while wincing, “You can say that.”

“Well Miss. Un with how your pain is progressing you should get a hold of the doctor in New York and see if you can push up the date sooner than later cause soon legally I shouldn’t let you leave the hospital.”

I again wince while I nod my head.

“I’m going too give you a bit more morphine and I’ll have some nurses check on your condition later.”

“Of course thank you doctor.”

He laughs, “No need too thank me like that. I’m nothing but a first year resident. Though I had studied in the states before I came back too Korea.”

“Ahh, that must be nice being back home though.”

“It is. Though I truthfully am a bit nervous. I’ll miss everyone from America.”

“I know how you feel abotu that. I’ve only been here for a week and I already miss my friends.”

I hear a knock at the door and smile when I catch a familiar perfume, “Rae, you’re late. I thought you’d be in here earlier.”

“Mr. Kim kept me occupied for a while. I just escaped. Oh sorry about… before he’s not always like that.”

“Who was that anyway?’

“her best friend next to me…” I hear her tone and I laugh.

“I think she wants to ask if you’re seeing anyone though you’re about 6 years older than her.”

“If she’s 21 sure,” I hear him joke.

“Oh… She’s actually 22 so you’re only 5 years older than her. So would you Mr….”

“Matthews.”

“Dr. Matthews,” I finished.

I can see a slight movement of a head as he looks over at my friend Rae, “Sure. If she’s okay with just coffee and that in the cafeteria here right now.”

I smile as they leave and sigh in relief, “At least something came from this stupid trip.”

My phone goes off telling me someone is calling me, “Hello.”

I hear the person who I know will be able to calm my nerves next to my father… could do.

“Jongdae,” I whisper careful of those who can hear me.

“Hey… So I have a surprise for you to cheer you up.”