“ honestly, where have you been? “ Leeteuk asked once again.

Okay.

IM DEAD. BYE.

Hyungs interrogated me at living room. The atmosphere here was really serious right now. I sat on the sofa while they were standing right in front of me and still folded their arms in front of their chest. They were looking at me with scary stare.

I looked down, I didn’t want to look at them. Okay, it was my mistake, it was my fault. I was pabo, so stupid T____T

Well, I was trembling. I even gulped so hard.

“ Donghae, tell the truth. We won’t be mad if you do. “ Hyukjae said with calm voice, not angry voice. He was not angry at me?

I was silent. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to tell them about me and Kyuhyun. No.

“ Hae… “ Hyukjae called me.

I lifted my head, look at them one by one. I could see the disappointment in their eyes. Did I hurt them?

I exhaled.

“ hyu-hyung… I-I wanna ask something first. “ I said trembling.

“ what is that? “ Leeteuk asked but not with angry voice.

“ um…. Ngmm… “ I looked away, thinking whether I should ask this or not.

I look at them. They were waiting and seemed curious.

“ mmm.. Will you be mad if i….. Mmmm… “ I clenched my hands, so afraid.

They raised their eyebrows.

I inhaled.

“ will you be mad if I have boyfriend? “ I asked it finally, and out loud.

Yes, I did it. Now I could not even have courage to look at their eyes. I looked down, looked at my foot.

Silent….

Why didn’t they answer?

“ so you just went out with your…boyfriend? “ Leeteuk asked.

I nodded slowly, and still looked down.

“ why did you lie? “ he asked again.

“ im afraid if you will be mad at me, and you will fight with my boyfriend. I don’t want it happen. “ I said and looked at them.

They look so sad. Omg.. I hurt them T____T

“ of course we will be mad, Donghae. Because you lied. “ Leeteuk said, he looked disappointed.

“ I know, I know. It was my fault, I know. “ I was about to cry.

“ who is he? “ Leeteuk asked seriously.

I widened my eyes. NO. I WOULD NEVER SAY IT!

“ you don’t need to know. “ I said.

“ I do. We do. We do need to know who he is! “

“ it’s privacy, hyung! Please respect me also. You are over, already really so far in protecting me! “

“ I do this because we love you! “

“ I know but you are torturing me. Don’t you know, your protect is torturing me, I’m suffering. I can’t do everything as I want. You always limit it! “ I snapped.

He was silent. Didn’t say anything even he looked away. Hyukjae and Siwon haven’t spoken up yet. They really seemed so disappointed. Omg my heart hurt.

“ i- I’m sorry. “ I said and looked down.

“ we promised to our parent that we will protect you. That’s our promise. “ Leeteuk said.

“ I don’t know if you feel suffering. “ he added.

“ we just don’t want, later your boyfriend will hurt you. We don’t want it happens. “ he said concernedly.

I gulped.

“ no one can hurt you, no one. I won’t allow them to hurt you. “

I was tearing. Oh okay…. I felt guilty.

“ but I hope he is nice, kind hearted, and love you. Even love you more than we do. “

I looked at them. My heart so hurt really. I felt pain inside.

They were about to leave me, and yes, they left me alone in this living room. Without saying anything like good bye, good night or what. They didn’t….

Did I hurt them so much? Is it even a mistake if I had boyfriend? Ok I knew that they wanted me to have nice boyfriend. But, so far Kyuhyun was nice. Well, I only knew him about 2 days. But I was sure that Kyuhyun was kind and nice boy.

I stood up and walked to their room. I wanted to say sorry and apologized to them. I probably was so harsh to them.

I walked to Siwon’s room, when I was about to open the door, it was locked. He was really mad T____T

I exhaled.

I walked to Leeteuk’s room. When I opened the door, he wasn’t there.

“ hyung… “ I called him, but no answer. I sighed.

I walked to Hyukjae’s room. I opened the door slowly. So dark. Was he here or not?

“ hyung.. “ I called him, no answer.

But even in the dark, I could see him. He was sitting on the floor and leaned himself on the bed.

I the lamp, and yes he was there. He leaned his head on the bed and he was like looking at the ceiling. I walked closer slowly, I was afraid if he suddenly snapped at me, shouted at me and asked me to go out. It would hurt me so much.

I knew that he knew I was here and walked toward him but he seemed like pretending me that I was not here. Did he really feel that hurt because of me? T____T

I reached him and I sat on the floor also right beside him. I looked at him. He was closing his eyes. He didn’t want to see me, huh? My heart so hurt, so hurt, so hurt !!!

“ hyu-hyung… “ I called.

He didn’t answer. Still closed his eyes.

“ i-im so-sorry ne.. “ I said.

Still no response.

“ I know this is my fault. I lied to you all, and I snapped Leeteuk hyung. I could not control myself. I was so harsh. “ I cried.

“ I feel so guilty right now hyung. I should not do this at the first time. I should not lie. “

I cried harder.

“ hiks hiks i- im sorry hyung. I- im so bad. “

“ I can’t be good brother for you. Even when you treat me well, I can’t treat you well like what you use to do. I’m bad. “ I cried and bowed my head.

“ hiks hiks… I- im bad. Im stupid. Pabo! “ I mocked myself still crying and sobbing.

Suddenly I felt strong arm pulled me, and Hyukjae brought me to his embrace. I was shocked but could not give any response because I was crying, but my heart was shocked seriously.

He hugged me tightly like I was his pillow when he was sleeping. I was leaning on his chest and still crying. He leaned his head on my head. These strong arms were wrapping me, hugging me tightly, and really made me comfortable. He my hair and kissed the top of my head. I felt butterflies…………

“ don’t say that again. “ he said still hugging me.

I  was still sobbing. Didn’t respond.

“ we should not over protective toward you. You won’t feel suffering like this. “ he said.

No, no! I said that because I was angry. I wasn’t really suffering, hyung. No!

I wanted to say something but I could not. These lips seemed didn’t want to speak. These only wanted to cry, cry, and cry.

“ you already have boyfriend. “ he said and laughed a bit.

“ I hope he loves you more than I do. “ he added.

“ I hope he protects you in the way you want to. “ he continued.

I felt hurt so much right now!!! I was sick of it! His words….

“ I hope he always draws a smile on your face. Give you many flowers, give you all his hours, give you everything. “

… why did he have to say that? WHY?!

I heard he sobbed. Was he crying?!

“ but the most important thing…. “

“ I really love you. “

“ I love you more than anything in this world. “ he hugged mo so so so tight right now.

Butterflies…… they were playing and flying inside my tummy and flied up to my heart and I felt so ticklish….

I COULD FEEL MY CHEEKS TURNED TO RED. IT HEAT UP. OMG WAS I BLUSHING?! I WAS BLUSHING!!

My heart beat fast. The ticklish and pain came in the same time and I felt it in the same time.

I didn’t understand what feeling was it….

===

We went to school together as usual but… They didn’t want to talk with me. They were so silent, like they had something in their mind and so busy with it. They even seemed didn’t care that I existed. Although we were in the same ca