Arabesque

Description

A secret organization named SM decided to work out on a project named as GG. The name meant Girls' Generation. The creator was a women who was betrayed by the men for several times. She determined to rule the world. Together, with the proactive GG project, she made a goal post to remove and drag the men down from this world. From this world.

This plan Yen EunSoo carried out was calculated gamble. If it turned out to fail, everything would be useless. Hormones from innocent females are absorbed illegally. It was absurb. It was painful. There was fear in their eyes. They abducted from those innocents. With cold eyes, they did it fearlessly. 

They their bodies with gabardine and locked them in a large frozen container. A gabfest of fabulous idea from the beasts in destructing women was concerted in dozens of ways. They fished them. They kidnapped them. They forced them. They carried out sabre-rattling. Everything was cruel. Everything.

Machines were created. Machines were ordered. Techology was perambulated in the large building under ground. They were far too beyond the limit. Even if they were to regret, they couldn't. Sabotage was impossible. The machines were developing their own sense. They could work on their own. It was doom. Doom.

This project was worked out and continued onto next 21 years. 9 girls were resulted as a consequence of the 21 years-effort. Cruel effort. She considered that the women were sacrificing themselves for the female's good in the future.

They were used as techniques to probe the project of the organization named SM. A duplicated SM. It was also so called SA under the words of In SongJae. Being called as duplicated SM, it seriously duplicated everything from the SM. 13 guys were created under the namely project SJ, Super Junior. This was also proved out by the abstraction of out the hormones.

The fierce battle between the two SMs were a battle stronger, fiercer, mightier, crueler, than any other battles in the world....... Endless. It was considered endless. Assasination. Death. Earth. The World. Everything. Everything was about to be lost. It is on a Arabesque.

On a Arabesque.

Foreword

Hi everyone~ This is my second fan fiction in asianfanfics. This is a SuperGeneration fiction. A supernatural battle between the two SMs. The whole thing is about cruelty, danger, competitiveness and death. In place of all negatives, what other positives could be replaced? What kind of genius consideration would be revealed? What kind of romance would be added? Is it even possible? Is romance possible between those fights? Can love be the only thing that could remain as peace? This fanfic will point out all the impossibles can be possible. That all the possibles can be impossible. It is just going to be about one thing. Arabesque. Together with violence, and together with thoughts, I hope you can enjoy the mixed blessing. Please support this fanfic~Thank you.

And P.S. I am doing all the posters myself, so it won't be very nice, and the posters for some chapters are going to be lacking for a while. I'm so sorry. ;D

I was doing the posters myself at first, but I can't find myself free from my lessons and I also have to update my fanfic.. So, credits go to the poster shopss. Well, I'll mention them in my notes at the end of every chapter, so if you are interested in their shops, why don't you give them a click?? :))

Umm.. For the foreword, credits go to Crazy Candies Graphic Shop. Go check their sitee.. :D http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/494540/crazy-candies-graphic-shop-open-poster-request-graphicshop

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pinboo #1
Hello, here's your goody bag for joining my TMaF semi-contest!

Plot: Alright, first of all, I think your fic is one of the longest one –in terms of chapters, at least so far that I've been judging and I applaud you for that determination –although, maybe, unfortunately, I regret that you don't finish it.

Firstly, I have to say that the actual story is kinda different from what I expected based on my reading of your foreword/story description. I was expecting it to be a gangfight/spy type of a story, but the romance/drama fills nearly 80% of the plot. Which is not a bad thing, but in your fic, I do think a less romance approach would be more suitable.

The flow is also one of the aspects of the story that I feel could have been improved. There are 10 chapters already (I'm not counting the 11th chapter because it's just author notes), and it should have been sufficient to move the plot to a more intriguing level. The first 4 chapters, in my opinion, could have been summarized in one or two chapters. The first 4 chapters only discuss about the background of the story, and you drag it too long just to talk about the reason why Eunsoo wishes to establish the GG project. Then the remaining chapters talk about the loveline development –which, in contrary to the 4 earlier chapters – become both too long and too fast at the same time. It's too fast to develop their romantic feelings to each other (the characters fell in love way too fast), and at the same time, it's too fast, considering that nothing really meaningful happen –and I personally do not consider them falling for each other as a strong development.

The possibilities and potency of the story actually exists. If you add more actions or mystery or other elements that could make the story more intriguing, I think it would be better. I also get the feeling as if you do not exactly know the direction of the story, so you should take your time to compose and control the plot before you execute/implement it.
pinboo #2
Characters: I particularly really understand how hard it is to maintain a story with more than 15 characters. And while I clearly do enjoy the numerous SuperGeneration interaction here and there, there is undoubtedly a bigger burden to manage the characters. Firstly, there is no real distinctive trait of one character from another. Jessica being the cold girl is one trait, but it's not dug deep enough, and it is still hard to set one apart from the other. This relates further on the character interactions –which I find to be kind of repetitive and there is no real dynamic on the relationship between one character and the other or one pairing and another.

I think that the big amount of characters also make you lose control/focus of the story. Of course, I'm not saying that you may not use a lot of characters. You undoubtedly may, but you also have to have a strong rein over the characters. On one part we're focusing on Heesica, then we're moving to Yoonhae, then to Taeteuk, then to HanSeoSung. Again, this is actually fine, but the transition is too abrupt and there's no real different premises in each pairing. Sure, they met in different situation, but it's still not sufficient to make the readers actually can linger or feel the relation to a character or a pairing.
pinboo #3
Style: There are things that I think you can improve: first, do not focus too much on unnecessary description. Description is fine –it livens a story. But readers do not need to know what kind of perfume Eunsoo uses or the car that Heechul drove unless they substantially correlate with the plot. Secondly, do not combine two or more characters' dialogue in one paragraph. Thirdly, minimize the use of Korean. I think the readers can tolerate the general sayings such as "Unnie" or "Oppa", because these are the words that do not have the translation in English that would give the exact same implication. But there are parts where your dialogue are entirely in Korean, and it would only trouble the readers –and you do not want to trouble your readers. You may tease or confuse readers, but you do not want the readers to get so troubled reading your story that eventually they may stop reading it. I also think you could have used more narrative text, but this is not major. I think the dialogue's amount is still in the appropriate level at first; but in the later part of the stories, the story basically is littered with filler dialogues.
pinboo #4
Suggestion:
• Pick a character and focus on him/her –at least until you are able to maintain the stability of the plot. Once your plot is stabile, you may eventually try to shift the focus to other characters. To be honest, until this point, I do not exactly know who your main character is.
• If you really want to use a lot of characters, introduce them slowly. Get the readers to be accustomed with the character first, before you introduce the others. Otherwise, the additional characters would only serve as filler sidekicks.
• Add more action, suspense, thrill –something to actually make your story more dynamic.


Favorite Parts:
• The foreword is actually kind of interesting –it promises something. It's a bit too dragging and you may wish to add something else to differ your fic from the other though, because it is not the only theme in AFF.
• You seemed to have taken a bit of scientific research for the first part of the story. I do not know and do not have the leisure to check on the truth behind it, but I obviously commend you for the willingness to research.
• I do like the title. But there should be more relation between the title and the story though
• Your narration reads better than the dialogue. Maybe you can focus on the narration.
catherine123 #5
Chapter 11: Lazy girl. I thot a chapter of story was updated. -.- hont
baechimi #6
This is Webtoon Graphics. Your request was done.
roodlesnamen #7
Chapter 10: Such random couples, lol. XD
catherine123 #8
Chapter 10: Dramas coming soon, eh? Btw, Trigonometic loves?lol i jst did the trigo sums and i read this now. xD
pompompoop #9
Chapter 10: aeyyy..i guess theres gonna be drama?? :((
roodlesnamen #10
Chapter 9: Love triangles? Yesss, more drama. <3
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