Codes a.k.a Give and Take

Arabesque

The 9 super-powered extraordinary samples were activated. They woke and started to move their ironic bones and ankles. With green codes running across their bresinis, under the words of their creator, or unbiological mom, they were just puppets for her invasion towards the men in the world, and for the overwhelming of women’s generation.

Recently, she had heard the plan of SA, one of the secret organizations, constructed by In Song Jae. In a coincidence or whatsoever (she didn’t know if he duplicated her plan or not), the SA’s project was almost the same with her. Her curiosity towards the SA (probably In Song Jae) was growing bigger. Her instincts were whispering her about what happened 25 years ago. She couldn’t be able to resist her patience against the men anymore if that was also another issue of betrayal (although he was not already under her control or whatever-you-want-to-name). Her puppets were ready enough to obey her words, and she was also ready to give out the tasks.

The very first mission ever to be accepted was announced. “My dear girls, are you all ready to obey mummy’s words?”

The 9 girls replied together in a loud tone which is usually heard in a military training.

“Yes, Mummy!”

“Okay, you girls are really so cute and lovable. Don’t worry; you’ll earn additional points from me. I’ll insert it into your bresinis scanner. (The additional points give them an advantage to have them release under the control of their mom for a day; but she doesn’t really give it).”

“Thank you, Mummy!”

“Anyway, first things first. I need you girls to help me go on an investigation. I want you to probe SA’s newly designed project, SJ, of which its perfect long form is Super Junior. It’s not a very difficult task to proceed, I guess. All you need to do, is, just to approach closer towards them and obtain their trusts, apparently with the power of your charms and beauties, which of course, promoted by me. I’ll have the targets’ detail information delivered to you (to their bresinis). Okay, Deal. Class dismissed.”

The 9 beauties (for now, but for the blind future, it’s not to be known) went to their highly prepared room with the latest technology ever to be found. They were heartless, mindless, anonymous, but somehow, as sister (unbiologially related), they were good, nice and warm to each other, even though they didn’t really feel it.

THE CODES. The codes were the main point what made them into such kind of person. Although they were as smart as and as brilliant as Albert Einstein, they would not be able to feel the real warmth and love of a real normal ordinary human being. Not even like the love and warmth the animals received from their parents and friends.

However, they never knew what they really ‘are’. They never knew that they were brought into life by the killing of several innocent women and by breaking their souls and desires. Those women were ought to be their real mothers, scientifically, as their hormones were the real factor which brought them into live. Not the evil Eunsoo who they thought, was their mummy. They were so pitiful. Nobody knew how their lives would be dreadful and risky for the improvement of the women species that was calculated by EunSoo, and them to be the samples, whose future was to be directionless.

Well, at least, EunSoo had all her effort in the combination and insertion of codes. She added all the defense sports and varieties; karate, judo, taekwondo, wrestling, boxing and many other defense systems installed. Not to let down the women in front of any other else, she provided French, German, Portuguese, Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, English and other major important languages.

The special strengths and facilities helped their bones with calcium transformed into better, stronger, harder metal ironic bones, which even were able to resist the 32 kilograms safe. So, a kick at their legs or a punch in their stomach, won’t be such a big deal, but would be just like ant tickling them (not even that much recognizable). Their hunger will not be even present when food is not served for many weeks (probably, never will hunger be present). EunSoo apparently did everything for the women.

Just. Just a lack of heart. Nevertheless, everything was within a Give and Take.

A/N: Well, hi back again! I think this chapter was a really short one, as I wrote it at school whenever I have a free time; when I've finished doing maths, english and others too~ keke. :) I really put a lot of my efforts in this fic, so please enjoy~ And the comment box is permitted for all times. xD

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pinboo #1
Hello, here's your goody bag for joining my TMaF semi-contest!

Plot: Alright, first of all, I think your fic is one of the longest one –in terms of chapters, at least so far that I've been judging and I applaud you for that determination –although, maybe, unfortunately, I regret that you don't finish it.

Firstly, I have to say that the actual story is kinda different from what I expected based on my reading of your foreword/story description. I was expecting it to be a gangfight/spy type of a story, but the romance/drama fills nearly 80% of the plot. Which is not a bad thing, but in your fic, I do think a less romance approach would be more suitable.

The flow is also one of the aspects of the story that I feel could have been improved. There are 10 chapters already (I'm not counting the 11th chapter because it's just author notes), and it should have been sufficient to move the plot to a more intriguing level. The first 4 chapters, in my opinion, could have been summarized in one or two chapters. The first 4 chapters only discuss about the background of the story, and you drag it too long just to talk about the reason why Eunsoo wishes to establish the GG project. Then the remaining chapters talk about the loveline development –which, in contrary to the 4 earlier chapters – become both too long and too fast at the same time. It's too fast to develop their romantic feelings to each other (the characters fell in love way too fast), and at the same time, it's too fast, considering that nothing really meaningful happen –and I personally do not consider them falling for each other as a strong development.

The possibilities and potency of the story actually exists. If you add more actions or mystery or other elements that could make the story more intriguing, I think it would be better. I also get the feeling as if you do not exactly know the direction of the story, so you should take your time to compose and control the plot before you execute/implement it.
pinboo #2
Characters: I particularly really understand how hard it is to maintain a story with more than 15 characters. And while I clearly do enjoy the numerous SuperGeneration interaction here and there, there is undoubtedly a bigger burden to manage the characters. Firstly, there is no real distinctive trait of one character from another. Jessica being the cold girl is one trait, but it's not dug deep enough, and it is still hard to set one apart from the other. This relates further on the character interactions –which I find to be kind of repetitive and there is no real dynamic on the relationship between one character and the other or one pairing and another.

I think that the big amount of characters also make you lose control/focus of the story. Of course, I'm not saying that you may not use a lot of characters. You undoubtedly may, but you also have to have a strong rein over the characters. On one part we're focusing on Heesica, then we're moving to Yoonhae, then to Taeteuk, then to HanSeoSung. Again, this is actually fine, but the transition is too abrupt and there's no real different premises in each pairing. Sure, they met in different situation, but it's still not sufficient to make the readers actually can linger or feel the relation to a character or a pairing.
pinboo #3
Style: There are things that I think you can improve: first, do not focus too much on unnecessary description. Description is fine –it livens a story. But readers do not need to know what kind of perfume Eunsoo uses or the car that Heechul drove unless they substantially correlate with the plot. Secondly, do not combine two or more characters' dialogue in one paragraph. Thirdly, minimize the use of Korean. I think the readers can tolerate the general sayings such as "Unnie" or "Oppa", because these are the words that do not have the translation in English that would give the exact same implication. But there are parts where your dialogue are entirely in Korean, and it would only trouble the readers –and you do not want to trouble your readers. You may tease or confuse readers, but you do not want the readers to get so troubled reading your story that eventually they may stop reading it. I also think you could have used more narrative text, but this is not major. I think the dialogue's amount is still in the appropriate level at first; but in the later part of the stories, the story basically is littered with filler dialogues.
pinboo #4
Suggestion:
• Pick a character and focus on him/her –at least until you are able to maintain the stability of the plot. Once your plot is stabile, you may eventually try to shift the focus to other characters. To be honest, until this point, I do not exactly know who your main character is.
• If you really want to use a lot of characters, introduce them slowly. Get the readers to be accustomed with the character first, before you introduce the others. Otherwise, the additional characters would only serve as filler sidekicks.
• Add more action, suspense, thrill –something to actually make your story more dynamic.


Favorite Parts:
• The foreword is actually kind of interesting –it promises something. It's a bit too dragging and you may wish to add something else to differ your fic from the other though, because it is not the only theme in AFF.
• You seemed to have taken a bit of scientific research for the first part of the story. I do not know and do not have the leisure to check on the truth behind it, but I obviously commend you for the willingness to research.
• I do like the title. But there should be more relation between the title and the story though
• Your narration reads better than the dialogue. Maybe you can focus on the narration.
catherine123 #5
Chapter 11: Lazy girl. I thot a chapter of story was updated. -.- hont
baechimi #6
This is Webtoon Graphics. Your request was done.
roodlesnamen #7
Chapter 10: Such random couples, lol. XD
catherine123 #8
Chapter 10: Dramas coming soon, eh? Btw, Trigonometic loves?lol i jst did the trigo sums and i read this now. xD
pompompoop #9
Chapter 10: aeyyy..i guess theres gonna be drama?? :((
roodlesnamen #10
Chapter 9: Love triangles? Yesss, more drama. <3
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