Again

Arabesque

20 years into the terrible past again....

Cling Cling Cling.. The alarm. Cling Cling Cling. She rolled and dropped from the green-orange coloured bedspread onto the floor. Bang! Ouch! It was a terrible moment. The back was aching dull. Even then, she couldn't help her eye lids up, but down to stick on the floor. It was a perfect warm and fresh morning of the busy streets of Seoul occupied by hard-working citizens. She grabbed the jumping alarm clock above towards her eyes. "Oh My Gosh!", she screamed out loud that the neighbours in the condominium she was living for a period of time could hear her voice loud and clear. It was 9 in the morning. She was already an hour late to her first job assigned in these 5 years as an intern in JS. She dragged herself outside of the bed.

She ordered her legs through the nerves to pay a visit to the washroom. She had foamed with cool-mint Colgate toothpaste. She let water washed her face with Pond's pure whitetm deep cleansing brightening facial foam formulated with activated carbon and vitamin B3. She then had a shower with bubbles of Lux Magical Spell. She quickly dried herself with a luxurious white bath towel. She then had her doll-like elegant face ovewelmed with the soft-tone make-ups from the Face Shop. She combed her silk-like brownish -length hair with Wikaloid comb.

She rushed down the stairs and ran into the 7-Eleven mini outlet to buy herself a cup of NongShim Oolongmen ramen with artificial seafood flavor and two Cheese Footlong saussages. She then got onto the bus and dropped herself when the bus arrived Taepyeong-no. It took 5 minutes for a walk to the grand high-rise building, JS Group of Companies, from Taepyeong-no street.

She got into the lobby and crossed the officier line and to the escalator. As she was along the way to level 21, she was skipping her heartbeats in a very disorganised manner of rhythms. Ting Tong. The metal plates made a way for the passengers to get out and she was the first one to be escaping from it. She arrived at the office of design team. "Gywaesonghamida~ I was late." A man scolded her at the top of his voice. "Neon Michaseo?? Look at the time! You're 2 hours late for the job! And as an intern! You could be eliminated soon in this manner!" "I'm really really sorry. I didn't intend to do it." "This little brat!" Before the man could continue his words, he received a message from someone. It might had been really important. "Okay. I'll continue with you later about the rule and regulations. Miss Nam, please instruct her her tasks." "Nae."

Miss Nam Shi Jin explained her the tasks patiently and completely, although all the things-to-do were too much not concerned with the management section she intended to start off with. For weeks, she had to do the useless things; buying coffee, copying documents, fixing the printer, clean the office, put off the left-over papers, and so on. On the sixth week of her intern life, she was invited by the manager to his private office.

Knock Knock. "May I come in?" "You may." "Annyeonghaseyo, Manager. I am Yen EunSoo from the management team", she introduced herself to the manager with her backbone dropped in a 25 degrees position. She had her head up. Her eyes widened as she saw a frightening ghost. It was him. Her oppa. The ex-oppa. "So, how's it? Long time no see. I bet you had fun with your job, which was instructed by me to order you to have those jobs done in those 6 months. Got it? Are you planning to take over me? Are you plannig to ruin my life? Are you? Do you think you will be able to do it? Back off now. Give it up. You'll never be able to. Sign your resignation letter. Immediately. Or not else, you are not going to survive by working here! I'll tear your dreams in pieces like I'd torn your heart! So stop dreaming!"

Ha. The second time. The second meeting. The second torn-up. The second embarrasment. It was just like ! But that time, she wasn't going to take all with her alone. She had to drag him to the base. To the hell that she had visited 5 years ago. She had to piss him off. "Hey, you ! You're the stupidest brat I've ever met and seen! You know what? I had always regretted loving you as my first and shedding those stupid ing tears for you! You don't deserve for it! Do you think that you still play a precious and interesting and exciting role in my life? NEVER! NEVER MORE IN A THOUSAND YEARS! For god's sake, you weren't even in my mind in those 5 years! Not anymore. I'm not ing going to take those anymore with me! But, one thing, oppa. One thing. I'm going to repay it. I'm going to take revenge on you. I'll drag you down from the place where you are now! And to the base! YES! To the base."

Fierce and fire was all replacing the pure blood from her veins and body with the mighty dangerous blood. Hot tears ran down from her bursting red eyes occupied with hatred. It was not about the white innocent tears from the first heart-breaking time. It was all about take-back. Pay-back. Drag-back.REVENGE.

A/N: Chapter 1 and 2 are all about the past of EunSoo and her oppa, and how she had herself embarrassed for twice in a lifetime. Their projects on creating the super humans are going to revealed in the next chapter. And I hope you guys are going to enjoy it. This fanfic is a kind of descriptive writing, and everything is described in a specific way. More subscribers would help me to compose a better fanfic, so please support me guys!!

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pinboo #1
Hello, here's your goody bag for joining my TMaF semi-contest!

Plot: Alright, first of all, I think your fic is one of the longest one –in terms of chapters, at least so far that I've been judging and I applaud you for that determination –although, maybe, unfortunately, I regret that you don't finish it.

Firstly, I have to say that the actual story is kinda different from what I expected based on my reading of your foreword/story description. I was expecting it to be a gangfight/spy type of a story, but the romance/drama fills nearly 80% of the plot. Which is not a bad thing, but in your fic, I do think a less romance approach would be more suitable.

The flow is also one of the aspects of the story that I feel could have been improved. There are 10 chapters already (I'm not counting the 11th chapter because it's just author notes), and it should have been sufficient to move the plot to a more intriguing level. The first 4 chapters, in my opinion, could have been summarized in one or two chapters. The first 4 chapters only discuss about the background of the story, and you drag it too long just to talk about the reason why Eunsoo wishes to establish the GG project. Then the remaining chapters talk about the loveline development –which, in contrary to the 4 earlier chapters – become both too long and too fast at the same time. It's too fast to develop their romantic feelings to each other (the characters fell in love way too fast), and at the same time, it's too fast, considering that nothing really meaningful happen –and I personally do not consider them falling for each other as a strong development.

The possibilities and potency of the story actually exists. If you add more actions or mystery or other elements that could make the story more intriguing, I think it would be better. I also get the feeling as if you do not exactly know the direction of the story, so you should take your time to compose and control the plot before you execute/implement it.
pinboo #2
Characters: I particularly really understand how hard it is to maintain a story with more than 15 characters. And while I clearly do enjoy the numerous SuperGeneration interaction here and there, there is undoubtedly a bigger burden to manage the characters. Firstly, there is no real distinctive trait of one character from another. Jessica being the cold girl is one trait, but it's not dug deep enough, and it is still hard to set one apart from the other. This relates further on the character interactions –which I find to be kind of repetitive and there is no real dynamic on the relationship between one character and the other or one pairing and another.

I think that the big amount of characters also make you lose control/focus of the story. Of course, I'm not saying that you may not use a lot of characters. You undoubtedly may, but you also have to have a strong rein over the characters. On one part we're focusing on Heesica, then we're moving to Yoonhae, then to Taeteuk, then to HanSeoSung. Again, this is actually fine, but the transition is too abrupt and there's no real different premises in each pairing. Sure, they met in different situation, but it's still not sufficient to make the readers actually can linger or feel the relation to a character or a pairing.
pinboo #3
Style: There are things that I think you can improve: first, do not focus too much on unnecessary description. Description is fine –it livens a story. But readers do not need to know what kind of perfume Eunsoo uses or the car that Heechul drove unless they substantially correlate with the plot. Secondly, do not combine two or more characters' dialogue in one paragraph. Thirdly, minimize the use of Korean. I think the readers can tolerate the general sayings such as "Unnie" or "Oppa", because these are the words that do not have the translation in English that would give the exact same implication. But there are parts where your dialogue are entirely in Korean, and it would only trouble the readers –and you do not want to trouble your readers. You may tease or confuse readers, but you do not want the readers to get so troubled reading your story that eventually they may stop reading it. I also think you could have used more narrative text, but this is not major. I think the dialogue's amount is still in the appropriate level at first; but in the later part of the stories, the story basically is littered with filler dialogues.
pinboo #4
Suggestion:
• Pick a character and focus on him/her –at least until you are able to maintain the stability of the plot. Once your plot is stabile, you may eventually try to shift the focus to other characters. To be honest, until this point, I do not exactly know who your main character is.
• If you really want to use a lot of characters, introduce them slowly. Get the readers to be accustomed with the character first, before you introduce the others. Otherwise, the additional characters would only serve as filler sidekicks.
• Add more action, suspense, thrill –something to actually make your story more dynamic.


Favorite Parts:
• The foreword is actually kind of interesting –it promises something. It's a bit too dragging and you may wish to add something else to differ your fic from the other though, because it is not the only theme in AFF.
• You seemed to have taken a bit of scientific research for the first part of the story. I do not know and do not have the leisure to check on the truth behind it, but I obviously commend you for the willingness to research.
• I do like the title. But there should be more relation between the title and the story though
• Your narration reads better than the dialogue. Maybe you can focus on the narration.
catherine123 #5
Chapter 11: Lazy girl. I thot a chapter of story was updated. -.- hont
baechimi #6
This is Webtoon Graphics. Your request was done.
roodlesnamen #7
Chapter 10: Such random couples, lol. XD
catherine123 #8
Chapter 10: Dramas coming soon, eh? Btw, Trigonometic loves?lol i jst did the trigo sums and i read this now. xD
pompompoop #9
Chapter 10: aeyyy..i guess theres gonna be drama?? :((
roodlesnamen #10
Chapter 9: Love triangles? Yesss, more drama. <3
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