Push and Pull

Arabesque

A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry if you are going to be disappointed on this fact. Well, I had to put this part as I need more reasons for Eun Soo's project and how it turned out to be a big revenge. Well,.. this thing is a bit concerned about the matured stuff, but it's not that much. I'm really sorry.. BUT, still, you can enjoy the other parts in joy.


Jessica, Yoona, Taeyeon, Yuri, Seohyun, Sooyoung, Tiffany, Sunny and Hyoyeon. Everyone had got their catch on their own target. Well, everything was going well. Everything. Except Leeteuk.

He was also falling for the girl. Taeyeon’s charms were undeniable. Ahh.. He was going crazy. He was dying from how she was attractive. But on the other hand, he had to go on with the plan he’d been trying to work out.

He mumbled. “I better draw my feelings back. I need to identify what’s the most important thing at this time. She’s also one of the biggest missing part of the puzzle of my life, but to fill up my brothers’ missing parts is more important to me than filling up mine. A sacrifice for 12 won’t be that much, is it?”

He let out  a loud sigh...... He was forcing himself to believe that he was doing everything for his brothers… But no. He was not. He wasn’t doing those for his brothers. He was doing those to cover up his feelings towards the princess of his life.


“Yeobeoseyo~ Jessica-shi iseoyo?”

“Nae. Gyaega Jessica endaeyo. Nugu yeyo?”

“Ahh.. Nae. Gyaega Kim Heechul yeyo. Gyeo giyo hashi nayo?”

Heechul asked Jessica whether she remembered her or not in the call. Jessica was confused for a moment or two (actually she was not, and you know that), but later, she uttered a hint to prove that she remembered him.

“Ahh.. The accident. Is it?”

“Nae Nae.. Masimida.”

“Wae-yo? Why do you call me, Heechul-shi? Any problems with you? Or is it about your car?”

“Ahh.. Aniyeyo. I was going to ask you for a dinner. Well, as we are in the same department, I would like a dinner as my brothers won’t be in the house today. It’s okay if you are not free.. It’s not a big deal.”

“Anni Anni. Gwinchasimida. Kurom, which time might you be okay?”

“How about next 30 minutes? I’ll wait for you at your car.”

“Kurom myon, eta bwaryo~”

“Nae. Jyeonhwar kkun nal kkayo?”

“Nae..”

The line ended. She chuckled in shyness. Did she just chuckle? Yes. She chuckled. But she was meant to be heartless. That means that she won’t be ever laughing or making an expression when her duty coat’s not on. So……..?? Did you just realize it? I think you did. I did too! Something’s wrong. Something’s going odd with Eun Soo’s plans. But Eun Soo was very detailed and smart enough. She couldn’t be doing any mistakes. So, how? Well, you have to find it out together with me in the later chapters.


The car was driven at a speed of 100 km/h in the sparkling night city of Seoul. In all of a sudden, the phone rang. She glanced at the number. OH ! WHY THAT ING BISHH AGAIN?? The phone was ringing for several times even though she had activated the silent mode. At last, she dragged the slider of her phone to answer.

“Wae?” The tone was pretty violent.

“Eun Soo-ahh.. Na ya.”

“I know who you are. Just get to the point.”

“I can’t get to the point. I need to talk to you. Please spare some of your time. You won’t be disgraced with this meeting. Meet me at The Shilla Seoul (a five star rated classic luxury hotel in Korea) tonight at 10.”

“………………..”

She still couldn’t get off the terrible memories on how her ex-oppa used and insulted her that night from her head. The moment when he her off. The moment when her body hurt like hell. The moment when her heart burnt like iron. The moment when she was caught in the steel chains in the bed. She couldn’t get them off her mind. She just couldn’t. The pain was unforgettable.

“Beoksu haeyahae. Beoksu haeyahae….”

Her words in pain with the fiery eyes staring at her ex-oppa when she couldn’t response anything was too much filled with hatred.

“I’ll make you payback. I’ll make you payy.. Just wait for it.. Everything you did. For everything.”


“Yuri-noona! Yogi Yogi!” Ryeowook called Yuri’s name as he waved his hands high.

Yuri was the one who ran towards Ryeowook. “Yahh!! Don’t call me noona!”

“Wae?? Noona-ya..”

“Aisshhh!!” Yuri turned and stumped as if she was a little child who hasn’t got her lollipop from the big bully.

“Arraseo arraseo. I won’t call you like that anymore, okay? Noona?”

Ryeowook kept on teasing her. Anyway, to speak out in a logical way, Ryeowook being too friendly to Yuri was a good thing to have her keep going on well with her researches on him.

Ryeowook got bored of teasing Yuri. He sat quietly beside Yuri on the brown wooden bench made of mahogany. He hanged his left arm around Yuri’s shoulders.

“Noona. I’m getting bored..”

“So what? Like I care. Blehhh.. Pfftt.” Yuri pouted at him.

“Wanna have a visit to my house?”

“Mohhh?? Yahh!! Neo michaseo?”

It was when Yuri paused for a while and arranged her thoughts.

“Going to his place would probably help me much for my plan…”

She stopped dreaming.

“Well,.. If it is what you want me to..” She just scratched her forehand in shame.

“Yeaa!! Epic Succeed!”

Ryeowook fooled around like a kiddo. Yuri was watching him in happiness as if her child won a competition. Uh ohh. It also happened to Yuri. Not only Jessica… Something serious was going on…


The three youngsters were running to and fro around the basketball field. Of course, everyone would probably be annoyed by those noisy creepy little monsters. But they didn’t care. And they won’t care.

Eunhyuk and Sungmin were chasing after Sunny.

“Ahhh!! What’s going on with you guys?”

“Hyung! Sunny’s mine!”

“Oh yeaaa? The Sun that’s shining above your head right now? Yeaa.. Of course. You can take it. But not this Sunny!!”

Eunhyuk pointed at Sunny.

“Come on, hyung… I’ll give you everything you want. I’ll treat you my snacks for the whole entire year!!”

“Pfftt. Shut it up! You know that we don’t need any foo---”

Eunhyuk withdrew his words before he finished the sentence once he realized what he was going to reveal out. Sunny, for sure, was somewhat getting it suspicious.

“Foo--- what?”

Sungmin tried to make a joke out of the mess.

“Ha. You’re trying to say that we don’t need any fools like you, right, hyung?”

“Yah!! Are you trying to claim that I am a fool?”

“Ohh.. You get it right!! High Five, Sunny!”

Sunny gave a high five with a wide smile on her face that came out from deep inside her heart. From deep inside her heart.


A/N: Hey again, guys! Hope you enjoy this chapter for once again. Well, here, I mentioned how the girls were starting to have some pale expressions towards the guys. And you can think about what's going to happen in the future. Well, comments are welcome in the box below, and you can give me some ideas to add in the following chapters. I'll try to add what you want me to. Thanks!!

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pinboo
#1
Hello, here's your goody bag for joining my TMaF semi-contest!

Plot: Alright, first of all, I think your fic is one of the longest one –in terms of chapters, at least so far that I've been judging and I applaud you for that determination –although, maybe, unfortunately, I regret that you don't finish it.

Firstly, I have to say that the actual story is kinda different from what I expected based on my reading of your foreword/story description. I was expecting it to be a gangfight/spy type of a story, but the romance/drama fills nearly 80% of the plot. Which is not a bad thing, but in your fic, I do think a less romance approach would be more suitable.

The flow is also one of the aspects of the story that I feel could have been improved. There are 10 chapters already (I'm not counting the 11th chapter because it's just author notes), and it should have been sufficient to move the plot to a more intriguing level. The first 4 chapters, in my opinion, could have been summarized in one or two chapters. The first 4 chapters only discuss about the background of the story, and you drag it too long just to talk about the reason why Eunsoo wishes to establish the GG project. Then the remaining chapters talk about the loveline development –which, in contrary to the 4 earlier chapters – become both too long and too fast at the same time. It's too fast to develop their romantic feelings to each other (the characters fell in love way too fast), and at the same time, it's too fast, considering that nothing really meaningful happen –and I personally do not consider them falling for each other as a strong development.

The possibilities and potency of the story actually exists. If you add more actions or mystery or other elements that could make the story more intriguing, I think it would be better. I also get the feeling as if you do not exactly know the direction of the story, so you should take your time to compose and control the plot before you execute/implement it.
pinboo
#2
Characters: I particularly really understand how hard it is to maintain a story with more than 15 characters. And while I clearly do enjoy the numerous SuperGeneration interaction here and there, there is undoubtedly a bigger burden to manage the characters. Firstly, there is no real distinctive trait of one character from another. Jessica being the cold girl is one trait, but it's not dug deep enough, and it is still hard to set one apart from the other. This relates further on the character interactions –which I find to be kind of repetitive and there is no real dynamic on the relationship between one character and the other or one pairing and another.

I think that the big amount of characters also make you lose control/focus of the story. Of course, I'm not saying that you may not use a lot of characters. You undoubtedly may, but you also have to have a strong rein over the characters. On one part we're focusing on Heesica, then we're moving to Yoonhae, then to Taeteuk, then to HanSeoSung. Again, this is actually fine, but the transition is too abrupt and there's no real different premises in each pairing. Sure, they met in different situation, but it's still not sufficient to make the readers actually can linger or feel the relation to a character or a pairing.
pinboo
#3
Style: There are things that I think you can improve: first, do not focus too much on unnecessary description. Description is fine –it livens a story. But readers do not need to know what kind of perfume Eunsoo uses or the car that Heechul drove unless they substantially correlate with the plot. Secondly, do not combine two or more characters' dialogue in one paragraph. Thirdly, minimize the use of Korean. I think the readers can tolerate the general sayings such as "Unnie" or "Oppa", because these are the words that do not have the translation in English that would give the exact same implication. But there are parts where your dialogue are entirely in Korean, and it would only trouble the readers –and you do not want to trouble your readers. You may tease or confuse readers, but you do not want the readers to get so troubled reading your story that eventually they may stop reading it. I also think you could have used more narrative text, but this is not major. I think the dialogue's amount is still in the appropriate level at first; but in the later part of the stories, the story basically is littered with filler dialogues.
pinboo
#4
Suggestion:
• Pick a character and focus on him/her –at least until you are able to maintain the stability of the plot. Once your plot is stabile, you may eventually try to shift the focus to other characters. To be honest, until this point, I do not exactly know who your main character is.
• If you really want to use a lot of characters, introduce them slowly. Get the readers to be accustomed with the character first, before you introduce the others. Otherwise, the additional characters would only serve as filler sidekicks.
• Add more action, suspense, thrill –something to actually make your story more dynamic.


Favorite Parts:
• The foreword is actually kind of interesting –it promises something. It's a bit too dragging and you may wish to add something else to differ your fic from the other though, because it is not the only theme in AFF.
• You seemed to have taken a bit of scientific research for the first part of the story. I do not know and do not have the leisure to check on the truth behind it, but I obviously commend you for the willingness to research.
• I do like the title. But there should be more relation between the title and the story though
• Your narration reads better than the dialogue. Maybe you can focus on the narration.
catherine123 #5
Chapter 11: Lazy girl. I thot a chapter of story was updated. -.- hont
baechimi
#6
This is Webtoon Graphics. Your request was done.
roodlesnamen
#7
Chapter 10: Such random couples, lol. XD
catherine123 #8
Chapter 10: Dramas coming soon, eh? Btw, Trigonometic loves?lol i jst did the trigo sums and i read this now. xD
pompompoop #9
Chapter 10: aeyyy..i guess theres gonna be drama?? :((
roodlesnamen
#10
Chapter 9: Love triangles? Yesss, more drama. <3