ENGLAND – Present – 2019

... I hope you’ll get to meet him someday. He’ll be just like you. Funny, adorable and cute little baby Sami. I hope you find the name adorable. I promise you’ll get to know him when he grows up… I just wish you’re here right now. It’s different in New York. It’s not like in Korea where people always have their bright smiles printed on their faces. I hope I’ll see you soon…

Love Always,

Saerin

                Kai couldn’t believe what he just read. He could feel his own tears falling from his eyes. Even then when he lost her, he didn’t even cry once. But after finding out that the reason why she broke up with him was because she’d been pregnant with their child brought back the wounds. He just couldn’t believe she’ll be this selfish, that hiding things from him just to live up his dreams made him very much guilty. All those years, he thought she was lying to him; that he was the victim in their relationship…

And what about Sami? Is he doing well? Wait, I’m a father?…Kai smiled at the thought agonizingly.

                All those years that he kept his anger, it was all gone. Right now, he realized he’ll do whatever it takes to take her and their child back again. He looked at her with so much pain as he regretted those times he chose to hurt her.

                                “—Please… save him!... PLEASE… doctor… Oh, my baby!” Saerin mumbled in her dream. Kai was on her side at once.

                                “Saerin-ah? What’s wrong?” Kai said as Saerin was having a nightmare.

                                “Kyungsoo Oppa….don’t tell Jongin…Sami…” Saerin was now crying. Kai suddenly got nervous. He felt the hairs on his arm stand on their own. He’s got Goosebumps thinking that something bad might have happened to their son.

                                “What is that you don’t want me to know Siren? What happened to Sami?”

                                He felt her shiver at his voice.

                                “I’m sorry Jongin…I’m sorry Uncle…” Saerin muttered helplessly on her sleep, her forehead glistening in sweat. “Don’t tell Jongin” He felt her hold tighten on his hand. “I’m sorry.”

                                “Shhh… Jagi, it’s okay. I’m here, it’s okay.” He comforted her in between kisses and tears.

                                Kai kissed her hands as he watched her face turn peaceful again and returns to her deep sleep. When he made sure that she already calmed down, something clanked outside. He wiped his tears and pulled Saerin’s blanket up to her shoulders. When he turned around, he caught a sight of somebody’s foot by the open door. He also watched it got pulled by a hand. When Kai went out of the room, he saw Baekhyun and Lalice grinning at him.

                                “Okay, I don’t have any idea at all she became pregnant!” Lalice said holding a letter and putting it back to its container. “Trust me, I want to strangle her right now if she wasn’t asleep and ask her why’d she kept it from me!” Lalice explained before Kai could even ask.

                                “How ‘bout you Baek? D’you know?” Kai asked his friend.

                                “Don’t look at me; all I know is that she’s Bulimic or something”

                                “WHAT?”

“There’s this one time in London when…” Baekhyun tried to explain only to get cut off by Kai.

“ Wait, is there still anything I don’t know? And why did she mention Kyungsoo?”

                                Lalice and Baekhyun stand up just to talk to their sad friend comfortably. They weren’t expecting much as they asked for. Both of them witnessed how Kai and Saerin loved each other to the point of marriage but they also witnessed both parties suffered. And they’re not exactly in favor of having the same painful things happening one more time. They really just want to help Kai and Saerin to get back to normal again.

                                “We don’t really have the answers to your questions Kai…but we found this under her couch…” Lalice gave him a treasure box and he found a stack of letters inside it. “I hope you’ll find the answers you’re looking for in there.”

                                “Lalice…is that you??? Ouch, my head hurts…”

                                “Aish, Jinja! She’s awake. You two should probably go home or she’ll be the one throwing you out. She doesn’t like it when boys hover on her…” Kai and Baekhyun stared at her. “It’s one of her issues… just go!” She half whispered.

                                “Who are you talking to? You didn’t bring any boys over did you?!” They could hear her movements on the other room.

                                “Um, No, I’m in the kitchen!!!” She lied and pushed the boys to the door. “I’ll call you guys tomorrow and give you an update okay.”

                                “Thanks Lalice.” Kai smiled at her.

                                “This would be the last favor you’ll get Mr. Dance Machine. Alright. Have a safe night…I mean morning…Oh Whatever.” She rolled her eyes as she closed the door.

                                After watching the door closed before them Kai turned around to face Baekhyun with a skeptic look.

                                “Please don’t give me that look.” Baekhyun pleaded and Kai raised his eyebrow on him. “Okay fine, I like her! Big Deal.”

                                Despite being depressed of what he just found out about Saerin, Kai couldn’t help but chuckle on his friend’s unexpected response.

                                “I was gonna ask you why you two were snooping around and together… Guess you just gave that away huh, Hyung?” Kai smirked.

                                “Aish. If a word gets to the members now I know who to blame. Come on lover boy before the fans catch us here.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

                                When Lalice already made sure that the boys were out, she checked on her friend in the room who she caught squinting at her.

                “Heyy…Girrrl” She said nervously.

                “Lalice, you wouldn’t believe it, but I had this awful nightmare and… he…he was there!”

                “Who was there?”

                “He…” Saerin halt at the thought because Lalice didn’t know about her being pregnant just as much as her losing the child. “Um… I forgot… never mind”

                “Rinnie, we’ve been like friends for a long time and I know it when you’re hiding something from me. So…” Lalice scooted over Saerin’s bed and made a slump on her seat. “Are you gonna spill or am I gonna make you do it?”

                “Liz…”

                “Don’t-give-me-that-depressed-face. Saerin Jo, as your best friend I demand you to tell me your secret.”

                Saerin studied her friend quizzically.

                “Why do I have a feeling that you already know…”

                “Well- you think too much. I don’t know what happened to you for the past five years you’ve gone to New Yor-“

                “I got pregnant. Kai was the father. The baby was stillborn.”

                “NO?” Lalice gave out an exaggerated gasp. Unfortunately, Saerin didn’t buy it.

                “Alright, who told you?”

                “What? You think I’m that dumb. I know the difference between your acting and reality Liz, remember. Besst Frriendss - right?”

                “Rinnie…” Lalice sighed and held her friend’s hand. “It doesn’t matter where I got it from okay… What’s important here is Kai. He. Should. Know.” Lalice tried her best to bluff, if Saerin noticed one hint of a lie that Kai already knew, their cover will blow up. Lalice looked at her friend who seems to be in deep thought.

                “What’s the point? It’s not like he’ll care about it much as more as he cares for me 5 years ago. Kai will be Kai.” She said coldly. “Besides Liz… that was five years ago and it’s not like we’re friends. He was never there when I needed him was he? So why would I care now?”

                Lalice watched as Saerin moved in silence. Back then when Saerin talks to her about Kai – whether she was angry or not – she could quickly point out that she was very much in love with him. For now, that wasn’t the case.

                “Rinnie…why didn’t you tell me?” Lalice said feeling down. Saerin looked at her friend feeling guilty.

                “I’m sorry Lalice. I just thought it was better if no one in YG knew… it would be really embarrassing on my part. I love you guys and it would kill me if you’d think of me as a dirty girl. Losing the baby made it even worse. Uncle almost attacked SM. My parents didn’t take it well but luckily my family continued to accept me. I thought they’d disown me Liz, I realized back then that when it seems like you have no one to turn to, your family will always be there...” Saerin sat back beside Liz. She was surprised when Liz embraced her tight, crying.

                “Oh Saerin.”

                “Hey, why are you crying? Liz it’s already in the past, I’m over it.”

                “It’s just you were so young and there’s so much that you could’ve done. Now I’m guilty I didn’t come and visit you in New York. I’m so sorry Saerin.”

                “It’s okay, plus I know how busy you are with the others.”

                “Is it true you suffered from Bulimia?” Lalice asked and she heard Saerin sigh.

                “Because I lost the baby, the experience traumatized me. I take it out on eating. I guess that was my way of torturing myself for not telling the truth to Kai and for betraying you guys. I realized I was very stubborn and selfish for turning my back on you but when I realized that it was too late.” Saerin shrugged. “I remember that I was doing an audition on a particular movie role when I collapsed in the middle of my acting. It was horrible and I regretted it at once.” Saerin gave a painful smile. “To tell you the truth, back then, even though he’s miles away from me, he’s still hurting me. It just wouldn’t slip in my mind that he doesn’t give a damn about me anymore. How could he go on like nothing happened when I was there enduring the pain… God, I was such a sadist.” She chuckled and got up.  “Come on Liz, let’s go eat some breakfast”

                Lalice followed Saerin in the kitchen where she saw her get some milk in the fridge.

                                “Who else knew?” Liz asked casually.

                                “Besides from my family and Soo Man… Kyungsoo knew.” Saerin sighed. “Wow, this reminiscing thing is a little harder than I thought.”

                                “Kyungsoo? So all this time…”

                                “Yep. Long story. Please don’t blame the guy. I made him promise a lot of things and I’m glad he’s still keeping that promise.”

                                “About what? Not telling on Kai?” Liz rolled her eyes. “So if Kyungsoo knew, then that means he was with you in New York?”

                                “Actually, Exo was in New York. That was I think… that time when they were having a tour in America. Kyungsoo found out when we bumped each other at a store”

2015 – PAST – NEW YORK

                                It was an afternoon in January when Saerin finished shopping for the baby’s things when she bumped with someone’s shoulder.

                                “Aish” She complained and was surprised when she noticed whose shoulder it was that she bumped into.

                                “SAERIN-SHI!” Kyungsoo exclaimed. Saerin dropped her bag and Kyungsoo followed her gaze at the infant essentials that are now scattered on the floor. Kyungsoo looked at her in shock as realization hit him.

                                Both of them went inside a private restaurant to talk things out.

                                “Are you serious? Jongin would flip if he finds out you’re carrying his child.”

                                “I know. That’s why I didn’t tell him. It would be better this way.”

                                Kyungsoo was confused about her response but then he figured she got it wrong.

                                “Saerin-shi” He sighed. “I didn’t mean it like that. No…” He reached for her hand. “He’d be mad at you for not telling him, for leaving him out of it. I still can’t believe you left Korea because of this. I mean you could’ve at least told me or Luhan.”

                                “Kyungsoo, we all know that you can’t keep a secret with Jongin. You’re practically like his brother. Fans even ship you with him the most.”

                                “Well, I don’t know about that.” He smiled at her. “Isn’t this great? I can finally tell him.”

                                “Wait, No. Oppa you can’t tell him. If this got to him he’ll freak. You said so yourself right? Let’s just give it time okay? Soon…maybe, but now now. Just promise me okay?”

                                “Arasseo. Promise I won’t tell, but Saerin-shi, please don’t hurt yourself. You know all of us practically browsed enough fan forums to find you… Man, it was really a blessing I found you.” He blushed. Saerin smiled, Kyungsoo never changed. They were eating their desert when a thought occurred in Kyungsoo’s mind.

                                “He’s taking it bad you know.” Kyungsoo said. Saerin knew he was talking about him. “He always gets summoned by the President frequently now. We don’t know what to do with him. He always goes home late.”

                                “I’m sure it’ll pass… Do you think it’s easy for me too?” Saerin raised her voice a little. “I’m sorry.” Saerin reached for her drink.

 “Must be the hormones.” She said forcing a smile.

                                “Saerin-shi, if it wouldn’t be a bother would you let me see you? At least I’ll know that Jongin wouldn’t have to worry about you and the baby. Just let me check on you? Please. And I would really swear that I won’t tell a word to him or anyone… Just let me visit you.” He pleaded hoping that she’ll let him.

                                “Okay Do Kyungsoo but I promise you if you tell one word to any of the Exo members especially Luhan, I swear I’ll have to kill you along with them.” She joked making him smile.

                                “Then I guess I’ll just have to stitch my mouth close.”

                                “The  fans would miss your angelic voice had that happened. And it’s too late to back out.”

                                “Aish, what to do” He said making them both laugh.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

                                                       ENGLAND – PRESENT – 2019

Kai and Baekhyun arrived at their hotel suite with everyone waiting for them.

                                “Well Good Morning” Suho said passing by the couch.

                                “You two better have an explanation to Manager Hyung later.” Sehun followed.

                                “Someone played tag with someone from YG last night…and guess what, it’s not Jongin and Saerin-shi” Lay sang at Baekhyun’s face.

                                “Well somebody got their asses whipped at beer pong last night and guess who he is Yixing?”

                                “Don’t know what you’re talking about. Can’t remember.” Lay sang walking towards the bathroom. Kris stopped him before he could open the door.

                                “It’s not your turn yet Unicorn Man.” Kris said.

                                “Hyung we could shower together!”

                                “In your dreams! You’re not Zitao.” Kris retorted shutting the door on his face.

                                “Tsk. That was really unfair Hyung.” Lay muttered in Chinese.

                                “What’s that you got there Jongin-ah?” Tao pointed at the small treasure chest Kai was holding. Timing was really good, for Kyungsoo came out of the kitchen his mouth stuffed with chocolate cake. He stopped chewing when he realized what Kai was holding and it did occur to him that he may realized the truth. Everything happened with Saerin the moment the two of them broke up was all written on those letters. How the did he get it?

                                “Hyung, can I talk to you for a sec?” Kai sincerely asked Kyungsoo.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

                                “So while you were in New York… he didn’t even pay a visit? He did call you right?” Lalice kept asking Saerin questions about the past and she didn’t know whether to be mad or blunt about it.

                                “No… and no. Honestly it was my fault and it wasn’t in my place to demand such things from him. I’m not mad about him not visiting or calling…it’s just….” Saerin answered without interest when she recalled a bad memory.

                                “It’s just what?”                              

                                “Nothing.” She shrugged and drank her glass of water. “We better get back to the hotel. We’re going home today right?”

                                “Yeah. But let me just sleep first. Give me 10 minutes” Lalice agreed and gave up on asking.

                                “Five.”

                                “Deal.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

PAST – NEWYORK – 2015

                                Saerin looked at her figure on the mirror. She scanned her appearance from head to toe with only her undergarments on. Her hands dropped on her small baby bump. She shifted her attention to her phone when it rang her Dad’s ringtone.

                                “Yes Dad, yep I got the barbecue.” She replied. Her family was preparing a big celebration for her mom that night. Ever since the news of her having a baby took off, her family became nothing but supportive to her. They always make sure that she eats right and that she’s always on a positive note. She may not be over about her and Kai but she was delightfully happy that her family was there to give her the love that she deserves. After packing her stuff in the bag, she picked up her phone and dialed Kyungsoo’s number.

                                “O, Saerin-shi, you called?”

                                “Hey Kyungsoo! Um, I’m just gonna warn you that I’m not gonna be at home tonight.” She smiled to herself. Ever since she bumped with Kyungsoo that day, the guy would always stop by at her place to check on her. It’s really a good thing that she has him there at the time. He was the only friend who knew about everything. It’s not that she doesn’t trust the others, but it’s because she’s not ready to tell everyone yet. She thought Kyungsoo was really lucky. Perhaps it was really his fate to help her.

                                “Waeyo? Are you going out with someone?”

                                “Don’t be stupid. He’ll always be the one” She replied happily.

                                “Tch. Well make sure that he is. You know Kai, he wouldn’t be too happy if he sees you out with another guy.”

                                “Yeah. But you know that I’m not happy either with all these rumors about him dating some y dancer…” She trailed off remembering an article in the Internet about Kai and Hyuna.

                                “Don’t mind that Saerin-shi.” Kyungsoo said flatly. “Jongin is just doing his job, no dirty business. He really misses you…”

                                Saerin nodded refusing to believe the rumors. “I believe you… I’ll talk to you later Kyungsoo. I’m going at Manhattan tonight. My family’s having a barbecue at Uncle’s place.”

                                “Okay. Take care of yourself Saerin-ah.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

                                Kai knew Kyungsoo was keeping something from him and he knew it was about a girl. His friend was never this preoccupied back at Korea. Maybe Kyungsoo found his match in New York after all. Thinking about his friend’s love life made him think about his own.

                                We’re both at the same land right now Saerin… Do you even know that? Are you that selfish to shut me out of your life just like that? What are you doing right now?

                                Kai thought as he watched Kyungsoo finish talking to his phone. He smiled to himself.

                                “Kyungsoo Hyung” He called making his friend jump in his seat.

                                “W-what?”

                                “Who was that? Are you keeping secrets from me now?”

                                “W-what? No, I’m not. That was my mother. I’m going out.” Kyungsoo said hurrying to the door.

                                “Woah, Hyung wait up, I’m coming with you!”

                                “No. Bad idea. One Exo member – safe and elusive. Two Exo Members – panic and trouble. Do you get what I’m sayin? Stay here Jongin.”

                                “Isn’t it the other way around?”

                                “Stay here Jongin!”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

                                Saerin spotted her mother and greeted her Happy Birthday at YG’s penthouse that night. 

                                “Oh here’s my beautiful daughter!” Song Yumi said embracing her only daughter. “Come, you’re just in time. Your father and your Uncle are inside discussing about their stuff. I’d rather you stay here for a while.”

                                “Rinnie Unnie! Rinnie Unnie!” YG’s daughter came running towards Saerin.

                                “O, Eujin-ah! Look at you” She giggled lifting Eujin in her arms. “O- your getting bigger little princess. Have you been good?”

                                “Yes Unnie. I love you…”

                                “Aw…I Love you too princess” She smiled and patted Eujin’s back.

                                “Eujin-ah come here, your making your Unnie tired.” It was her father Yang Sang Ki who called her out from the terrace. “Tch… come here little brat.” He said gesturing his hands towards the little girl. Saerin laughed as Eujin shook her head and stuck her tongue out.

                                “it’s alright Dad, I got it.”

                                “Tch. Saerin-ah, you shouldn’t stress yourself too much. It’s dangerous for the child.”

                                “Dad, don’t worry. I’m strong and healthy okay?”

                                “Stubborn child. Tch. Have you eaten?”

                                “Um, not yet…”

                                “Saerin Yang, dinner table, right now. Yang Eujin, come here!”

                                Eujin didn’t do anything and let her Uncle take her from her cousin.

                                “So heavy, how ‘bout you little brat, have you eaten?”

                                “Yep. Dad gave me chocolates.”

                                “Your Dad is cheap.”

                                Saerin went inside to grab some food when she saw her aunt eating with her uncle. They were laughing when she came but it was obvious that she ruined their moment. Because of the pregnancy, her Uncle was still a little furious about it. She saw her Aunt walk towards her and hugged her.

                                “Good Evening Rinnie. How are you?” She said holding both her hands.

                                “I’m good Auntie. How’s baby Seunghyun?” Saerin asked.

                                “Oh he’s fine. He’s still boring though.” Her aunt laughs. “It’s sad because he looks a lot like your Uncle.”

                                “Auntie, you’re being mean.” She chuckled. She missed these kinds of talks with her family.

                                “Come let’s eat. You’re Dad made the gimbap.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

                                 It was a peaceful night in Manhattan.  Saerin was walking towards a bake shop where she stopped by at a sight of a jewelry store. She was out because her adorable father forgot to pick up the 2 layer cake he ordered for her mother. Since most of them were her seniors, she volunteered to pick up the cake herself. She was taking her time looking at the gold necklace that has a heart-shaped pendant where a g-cleft was inscribed on it. She was thinking about her son while looking at the necklace and because of that, she went in and buy it.

                                Saerin already picked up the cake when she heard a few of girls talking out loud at the far end corner of the street.

                                “Kai oppa?”

                                “Oh my God, I can’t believe it! Where?”

                                “THERE!

                                Saerin heard the girls scream altogether. She walked away opposite their direction so that she won’t get herself in trouble.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

                                Kai couldn’t believe his fans noticed him so quickly. He was trying to reach Kyungsoo but the guy wouldn’t pick up his phone.

                                “Aish, Jinja?” He muttered to himself as he looked up at his phone. He pulled his baseball cap lower so that fans wouldn’t get a good picture of him. He’d had experienced the worst fan encounter before compared to this situation. Kai felt he could handle his fans now, since they were just a few so he obliged on giving them autographs. He was thankful for they decided to leave him alone after a few minutes. Maybe they figured they wouldn’t understand each other anyway since he’s not very fluent with the English language himself. When he finished interacting with them, he decided to look for Kyungsoo when he noticed he was following a girl. Based from her back, he could tell that she’s classy. Her walk alone matches the way professional models walk along the catwalk. Looking at her from the back, he couldn’t help but remember Saerin.

                                Then it hit him.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

                                Saerin was thinking about Kai. She could still feel her heart beating so fast after what happened outside the bakeshop. The thought of seeing him made her excited and sad at the same time. Excited because she missed him so much, and sad because she knows he’s mad at her. She was thinking about him when she thought she heard him call her name.

                                She stopped walking.

                                Great. My hallucinations are getting worst.

                                She thought and shook her head. She started walking again when,

                                “Saerin Jo!”

                                Slowly, she turned around to face the man who possessed her heart.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

                                They sat at the bench under the stars that night. Silence enveloping the two of them.

                                “How are you Saerin? I heard you’re studying Business or whatever at some school here” Kai asked breaking the silence.

                                “I’m doing fine. I’m studying music actually and I’m not planning on taking the whole company by myself. I don’t know why Uncle made that up. Those were completely false. How about you? I heard you’re dating again. Is that true?” She asked hoping that he would say no.

                                “Oh, so you’ve heard. Yeah. That’s true.” He lied through his teeth, his anger building up on his chest. He was really on her to get revenge. First because she made his life miserable, second, she made it seem like she loved him truly when she doesn’t really care about him, and third, because even though he’s angry at her, he couldn’t deny the strong feelings he still got for her. He wouldn’t want to admit it, but he swore to himself that after this night, he’ll forget everything about her and the both of them.

                                “Krystal’s really sweet. She obeys me most of the time.”

                                “Krystal? Krystal Jung?”

                                “Yeah”

                                “O… I thought you were dating Hyuna. I guess you finally liked someone at SM huh.” Saerin doesn’t know where she got the strength to answer back. She thought she went numb the moment he told her he’s moved on.

                                “Y-yeah.” Kai said scratching his nape. How could he mess up like that? Why did he mention Krystal anyway when tabloids where hot on him and Hyuna? He doesn’t even like both of the girls. Krystal is too high maintenance and Hyuna is just…Hyuna.

                                Aish. Pabo. Think straight Kim Jongin!

                                He thought thinking of a way to support his lousy lie. “Anyway, I hope you’ll get to meet her. She’s really great.”

                                Saerin nods and looked away not letting a tear escape. “Yeah. That’d be awesome. I’m happy for you.”

                                “What about you? Are you…seeing someone?” Kai asked bluntly, hoping she wouldn’t say yes.

                                “No. I’m too busy to date. Besides…I’m not…I haven’t moved on.” She admitted. He looked at her grudgingly. He doesn’t know if he’ll be happy about what she confessed or he’ll get even furious at her for leaving him.

                                “Tch. After what you did in Korea. Leaving me without even saying goodbye… What was that huh? Are you playing with me?” Kai couldn’t hide his anger anymore. He couldn’t understand her at all. Why would she be not over them when she was the one who broke it off in the first place?

                                “Didn’t you get my message?”

                                “Message? You could’ve gone to my place and tell it straight to my face Saerin! How could you do that!” He was on his feet now, his hands on his head in frustration. “Man, you could’ve waited for me to pick up.”

                                Saerin watched him breathe in and out. She crossed her arms over her stomach which was suddenly aching.

                                “Aish…but that was 4 months ago…you should be over it Saerin. It wouldn’t do you any good. Krystal… Krystal is my everything now. Whenever I think of the future, all I can see is her. She saved me when you left and crushed my heart. I’m sorry Saerin, but from now on I want you out of my life. You’d have to hate me if you should.”

                                Saerin’s tears stream down her face. She bit her lip as she rose from her seat enduring the pain in her heart and in her belly. She walked towards him like she’s not aching.

                                “Arasseo. But do you really have to hurt me Jongin-shi? Why do you have to be a jerk all the time? When would you say the right thing and forget about your pride?” She shook her head as she caressed his face. “After this night, I promise, everything will change. I will surely hate you and blame you for everything.” She smiled as her tears keep falling on her face. “Admit it Jongin-shi, you are a coward too.” With that, Saerin crossed their distance and kissed him passionately. Kai was surprised for a bit second but he kissed her back, his sane mind getting lost because of her, all their feelings and worries describing the way they kiss. Kai was wishing that she wouldn’t let go when she pulled away. When he opened his eyes, she was already yards away.

                                He looked at her figure slowly disappearing on his sight. He brushed his hair with his hand and realized that she was right. He is a coward.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

                                Saerin couldn’t stop herself from crying. She was still carrying the cake and her phone was vibrating continuously. Suddenly, she doesn’t know where to go. She answered her phone and glad to hear that it was Kyungsoo.

                                “Yoboseo?” She tried to sound happy but her voice cracked.

                                “Yoboseo? Saerin-shi? What happened? Are you crying?”

                                “Oppa... I’m hurt…”

                                “Where are you?? I’m going there right now. Stay where you are.”

                                She told him where she was. She was finished talking to him when a group of girls were running towards her. She covered her face abruptly when all of them ran passed her.

                                “KAI OPPA!” They all screamed.

                                She tried her best to avoid them but she was feeling lightheaded. She felt her world turn upside down when someone accidentally bumped her. She fell to the ground as she lost track of her senses.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

                                Minutes already passed when Saerin left Kai. He was by himself at the park when the fans found him. Thankfully his manager went to get him out of the situation. He was getting inside their private vehicle when he heard an ambulance speeding its way up south.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

          ENGLAND – PRESENT – 2019

                                Kai dropped himself down to the floor when Kyungsoo explained everything to him. His friend sat across him patting his shoulders.

                                “What should I do Hyung? I didn’t know.” He said pinching the bridge of his nose. He forced himself not to cry in front of his best friend. What Kyungsoo told him about Saerin brought him so much regret. He knew now that the ambulance was going for her rescue. He just wished he followed his instincts back then…If he weren’t so proud…if he weren’t a jerk… if he just told her the truth back then… that he too hasn’t moved on…

                                But all of that was in the past… he couldn’t do anything to change it.

                                “Jongin-ah, I’m sorry.”

                                “I could’ve been there for her Hyung. Why would you keep it from me?” Kai dropped his head on his palms. Kyungsoo felt guilty for not telling his friend but what could he do? He gave his word to Saerin and admittedly, he planned to protect her until now.

                                “I’m sorry Jongin”

                                The other Exo members pass by the kitchen and saw both Kai and Kyungsoo on the floor.

                                “Hey, what’s up with our maknae?” Suho asked Kyungsoo.

                                “Yaa, Jongin-ah?” Luhan followed sitting beside Kai. “What’s wrong? Tell us”

                                “Do you still love her Jongin-ah?” Kyungsoo asked out of the blue. “Are you being like this because you realized you were wrong and you just pity her?”

                                “What’s going on Do Kyungsoo?” Luhan asked Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo ignored him.

                                “I never…” He shook his head as he stuttered. “I never stopped loving her Hyung. I couldn’t even think about tomorrow without thinking about her… Haven’t I suffered enough?” Kai said facing s with a distressed look on his face.

                                “Alright… If it’s any consolation, I’ll help you. We’ll help you.” Kyungsoo nods patting Kai’s hand. “We’ll help you get her back. I promise.”

                                After the scene in the kitchen, Exo’s hotel suite was full of tension when Kai and Kyungsoo gathered everyone and told them the truth from the very beginning.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

                                                                KOREA – PRESENT – 2019

Yang Hyun Suk was smiling from ear to ear as he looked at his niece’s recent achievement. It was the Seoul Music Awards’ Artist of the Year title. He was currently having a short chat with an international producer when his intercom rang.

                                “Mr. Yang, Mr. Lee Soo Man wants to talk to you” His secretary informed him. Lee Soo Man didn’t even wait for YG to finish his calls when he decided to enter his office. YG couldn’t do anything but to end his call with Universal Records.

                                “This better be good.” YG sighed at his Sunbae. It doesn’t normally happen that Soo Man would go to his office unannounced but when he does that it usually means war. The last time YG got a visit from him was when SM found out about Saerin, and their conversation didn’t end well. YG couldn’t just take SM’s apology that easy.

                                “I have a proposal to make, and I want you to listen well Yang Hyun Suk.” SM said sitting comfortably on YG’s couch. Tension filled the air once again as two of Korea’s leading businessmen face each other in once room. SM saw the Seoul Music Awards plaque on YG’s desk and smirked. “You’re niece is a genius. Believe it or not I wasn’t surprised she won. I was actually rooting for her. She’s got a lot of spunk that Saerin kid of yours.” SM smiled.

                                “I know my niece since she’s a kid and I appreciate your compliments, but let’s not get far from here Sunbae. What is it that you want?”

                                “Well, I’ve already brought it up. There’s something I want from your niece… and I know that Universal Studios are on talks with you about a certain ‘Concert’, am I right?” SM prodded.

                                YG smiled arrogantly. He knew where this conversation is going and whatever SM will propose, he’ll just have to say no to it because working with SM always bruises his ego.

                                “Universal Studios…What a big name” SM sighed. “Did Saerin made a choice already? I hope she picks SM.”

                                Because Saerin won the artist of the year, one of its perks this year was a contract with a big producer abroad. And Saerin was very fortunate to have Universal Records interested in her. Not only that, but the Studios granted her a big break together with another Kpop Company. They wanted her to collaborate with either JYP or SM with their vast promotions. It was really a big deal and YG couldn’t blame SM if he’s eyeing his niece right now.

                                “Wow Sunbae, you’re ears are really that big huh. I haven’t even talked about this with JYP.” YG said obviously on JYP’s favor.

                                “Aish… I wish you won’t do that…” SM stood up and observed the colorful action figures displayed on the shelf. “Saerin is a really good kid and I wouldn’t want to ruin her with scandals… especially the ones that didn’t make the news…”

                                “So you’re threatening me? You wouldn’t do that, you’d expose that boy too!”

                                “I did not say I’ll bring Kai on that did I? I could always blame someone… or pay someone…”

                                “You dirty man. Even if you threat me I’m not the one to make the decision and by the looks of it my niece has nothing to do with SM anymore.”

                                “Ever since that break-up, your kids have done nothing but overshadow my talents. THAT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO HYUN SUK! Kai and Saerin have grown up and they chose to live their life without each other. Have some heart… and let’s share the stage like we used to” SM sighed and shook his head.

                                There was a long pause. SM thought YG wouldn’t say yes…but then again,

                                “Aish…I’ll see what I can do.” YG said facing his back on his Sunbae.

                                “Let’s stop this feud YG… I’m asking that as a Hyung…”

                                When SM left, YG slouched on his seat and sighed. “I’m sorry Saerin, but I can’t risk you with a scandal, not this time…”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

     ENGLAND– PRESENT – 2019

                                Saerin was laughing with her friends, Lalice, Jisoo, Dahyun, Eunbi, Hanbin, Junhwe, Jiwon, Jinhwan, Donghyuk, Yunhyung, Taehyun and Seungyoon. They were all lounging together at their hotel suite waiting for their manager’s signal.

                                “Rinnie-shi, haven’t you decided yet? I mean you have to pick between SM and JYP right?” Hanbin pointed out.

                                “That’s true, and that’s such a burden you get when you get awards and stuff” She said sarcastically.

                                “That’s pretty easy isn’t it? It’s obvious you’ll pick JYP” Taehyun commented. Saerin nodded.

                                “Well, not that I’m for SM or anything but I really don’t like those gym people” Jisoo said.

                                “You’re just bias because you’re crushing on that OWL dude from Exo!” Donghyuk joked at Jisoo. “His name is weird too. I mean who calls a person ‘DO’ and not feel awkward about it. It’s just weird!”

                                They all started throwing pillows at each other when they hear a faint knock on their door.

                                “I’ll get it.” Hanbin suggested and went to get the door. All eyes were at the door curious about the mystery. All of them went silent as two persons were revealed behind the door. “Perfect. We were just talking about you.” Hanbin told Kyungsoo.

                                Saerin felt her heart skip a beat when she saw Kyungsoo and Kai together. Could it be that he knew? Did Kyungsoo tell him?

                                “JISOOO! It’s your crush.” Donghyuk mercilessly. Kyungsoo saw the girl blush. He felt his cheeks turn red too.

                                “Er, Good Morning guys…er I’m Do Kyungsoo, and this is my friend Kim Jongin.” They bowed and waved their hands.

                                “Guys, what are you doing? We all know who you are.” Lalice said rolling her eyes.

                                “Well, what brings the two of you here?” Saerin said with a straight face.

                                “Can I talk to you for a sec?” Kai said confidently imitating her.

                                “You can talk to her now” Junhwe said testing him. Kai looked at Kyungsoo for back up but the guy was looking down on the floor. They couldn’t stand to be in front of their biggest enemy let alone with the other YG talents.

                                Saerin stood up ignoring her friends dissing on the two.

                                “I better hear this alone. You guys take care of Kyungsoo, so behave if you don’t want to have a fight with me.” She said eyeing her innocent-looking friends. “Yah, Kim Donghyuk, BEEEHAVE!” She shook her head as she eyed Kai and her head towards the kitchen. Kai followed and watched as Saerin closed the door separating the lounge and the suite’s parlor.

                                “So, what is it?” She said bluntly crossing her arms. She was hoping that Kyungsoo didn’t tell on her.

                                “I just want to sincerely apologize about you know, yesterday… It was very sudden. I honestly don’t know what I ate and I said those things. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Kai started. Actually, he wasn’t really planning on going with Suho’s plan. He preferred to go with Luhan’s plan about telling Saerin the truth about him knowing but Kyungsoo raised a point that it’s better if she’ll be the one to tell him that. And besides, he knows he got Lalice for reinforcement. Patience is indeed a virtue.

                                “I’ve been insensitive lately and for what it’s worth, I’m really sorry. Just sorry. For everything and for not even calling.” He sighed and hid his sadness with a chuckle. “Look call me old fashion, lame or whatever but I just couldn’t help to recall the past. I’m not sorry about that because you came back…and it’s suddenly…I don’t know it’s weird…”

                                “Kai… I did not come back for you. There’s no us anymore… it was over for like years ago…” Saerin said calmly as she watched Kai nod in agreement. “I forgive you… for everything.” She said smiling. He smiled too as a new hope sprang in his heart.

                                “So are we cool?” Kai asked reaching his hand out to her. She nods and reaches for his hand but stopped at a sudden thought.

                                “Wait, you aren’t apologizing because of the SM-JYP thing right?” She said letting go of his hand abruptly.

                                “What SM-JYP thing?”

                                “You know…the concert? The Universal Record Deal? You’re not being nice to me because of that right?” Saerin knows she’s being paranoid but then again, it’s better to get a fair warning before she starts to befriend this guy again.

                                Kai squinted his eyes at her and realized what she meant by the SM-JYP thing she mentioned. Turns out he have had heard of it.

“Oh that SM-JYP.” He sighed and looked at her who was giving him a suspicious look.

              “Saerin, even if there’s no record deal, I’ll still be apologizing.” Kai looked at Saerin who was still not convinced in his words. “Oh Come on Saerin… it’s not like we weren’t friends at the least. Trust me. You know I mean it when I apologize.” Kai stared at her eyes genuinely. He found himself searching her eyes for tenderness but all he got was a cold one. She was smiling alright. But her smile was lacking. It was as if she’s trying to hold herself back and that annoys him the most. He’d have to go through hell before she’d warm up to him again the way she was before.

                “So… are we friends or not?” Kai insisted reaching his hand out to her again.

                “Oh well, do I have a choice? I’ll probably see you around more often. It’s not cool to go through the awkwardness anyway.” She sighed shaking his hand making him smile.

                                “Guess I’ll see you around” Kai said.

                                Not too often, I hope.

                                Saerin thought and nodded.