“YunHo oppa! Please let go! I have to catch my flight!” When the news hit YunHo, he was devastated. At the moment, he was holding onto my arm like a kindergartner on their first day of school when they don’t want their parents to leave.

“Ahniyo! You can’t leave! Andwae!”

“Just let go! Please.”

“No!” he continued to whine and tightened his grip.

“YunHo-yah!” I yelled informally. He instantly quieted. I never spoke informally to my seonbaes. EVER. “Mianhaeyo, oppa. Please just let me go.”

He loosened his grip and I walked to the door. I e last time and looked at him, He looked about as I did, which was horrible since I lost 10 kg in the hospital and my skin was so pale you could see the veins in my hand.

“Saranghaeyo, YunHo oppa. I’ll try my best to come back.”

The whole time I was traveling, I kept thinking. This is the second time YunHo has cried on my behalf.

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

*Fallon-ah, you’re home. We’ve missed you so much!* I faintly smiled as my mother enveloped me in a gentle hug. I hugged her as tight s I could without popping any stitches. We broke apart and she held my face. *Don’t worry. Umma will fix you up.*

*How’s Appa?* She looked away and shook her head. *How much longer?*

*Maybe a week. He’s too weak to get the transplant. They say his heart will eventually just stop.* A tear ran down her cheek. I gently wiped it away.

*I bet he’ll be happy to see me, neh? It’s been a whole year since I last saw him.*

*Yes! Put your stuff down in your room and let’s go see him.*

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

*Byeol-ah.* (Byeol means star.)

*Appa. I missed you.*

*I missed you more. Ah, you’ve gotten so pale.* He held out a feeble hand. I gently took it. His hand was the same shade as mine. *I heard about what happened.*

*I’m sorry. I’ve embarrassed our entire family. I never should’ve become a Hallyu star.*

*Ya.* His voice was soft, but firm. I quieted. *What did you tell me when you were 10?*

*I wanted to be a star and make Appa proud, but-*

*Ahniyo. No buts. You’ve made me so proud. Your nickname isn’t Byeol for nothing.* He coughed harshly. *Continue living your dream and Appa will always be proud. Don’t let anyone take your dreams away. You promise?*

*Neh. I promise.* I gently squeezed his hand. He sighed and closed his eyes. He nodded off. My phone vibrated and I left the room to answer it.

“Yoboseyo?”

“Hey, Fallon. It’s AeCha. You made it safe?”

“Yes. Listen, I’ll be staying here for more than 2 weeks. I don’t know how long, but it won’t be as soon.”

“Ah, ok. Take as much time as you need.” Silence. “What’s going on? I can her you’re about to cry.”

“Unnie, my dad’s going to die and soon. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I began to cry big, heavy tears.

“Fallon-ah, be strong. I’m sure he doesn’t want to see you cry. Remember we’re all here to talk.”

“Saranghae, unnie.”

“Saranghae, dongsaeng.” I hung up the phone and cried in the hallway.

The next morning I got the dreaded call. My dad had passed away.

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

Over the next week, all the funeral arrangements were made. My brother had to fly in from his university in Canada. He had seen my dad the week before I came, but had to return early for exams. The whole week he was here, he was a wreck. He cried all the time. Appa would really be missed.

On the day of Appa’s funeral, it rained. We all stood around the hole where the casket had been lowered into. After everyone had dispersed, I stayed by the hole. I knew my Appa’s soul was no longer there, but I didn’t want to leave him just yet. The sadness overcame me and I collapsed to my knees in tears.

I felt someone place a soothing hand on my back. I looked over and pulled the person close. They were the only person who could understand how I felt.

“It’s ok. We’ll get through this.” DongHae whispered, pulling me closer as I cried my heart out.

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪