‘After so many schedules has ended, finally we had days off. Four other members spent their time with their family. I didn’t go home because i had come to my parent’s restaurant  yesterday.’

‘Jun also doesn’t go home, i don’t know why he’s still at dorm.’

I lie down on my bed playing some games to entertaining myself.

‘I am mad at Junhyung, Im mad at him because he can’t see I’m the one who love him, im mad because Junhyung can’t reply my love. He was so mean, he had broke my heart into small pieces.’

‘I am mad at myself too. Why do I love Junhyung. Why i don’t like girls? Why I didn’t born as a girl? Why can’t I be a girl so I allowed to loving him.’

‘Why is this world playing an unfair game with me?’

‘Me loving him just made me hurt, really hurt in here’ I patted my chest.

‘I didn’t tried to move on my feelings for him. I didn’t because I know, I can’t do that’

My thoughts being interrupted by the sound of the door closed. He threw his body to empty space beside me.

“Ah finally we have days off. I can sleep all the time without being interrupt by other members,” said by Junhyung.

Junhyung’s phone was ringing. “Yoboseyo?”

“Oh ne Hyerin-ah.. nado bogoshipo” I saw Junhyung smiled. “Come to our dorm, we have days off  and the other members went out to see their family.”

I get up and walked to the kitchen.

“Hah, Junhyung will spend his time with Hyerin. Argh! I should went home yesterday, it’s better than see those two,” I opened the refrigerator. Drank 3 gulps of water then walked to the living room. I the TV and smack my on a fluffy couch.

I was relaxing my self by watching my fav anime. When I nearly dozed off to sleep Junhyung came and sat down beside me. His face changed to a sad one.

“Why are you looking so sad? Don’t you will spend ur time with Hyerin?”

“she will not come, she have overseas schedule. Maybe she will be back 5 days later,” Junhyung pouted.

“You can spend it with your friends, Hongki maybe?”

“Don’t want, last time he made me paid for the meals.”

“Then go to your studio.”

“Don’t wanna! It’s holiday, why Im still working then?”

Junhyung threw his arms around me. “I don’t want to be alone on my days off!”

“Hey, u’r not alone. I’m still here. There is still be me beside you,” Junhyung tightened the hug.

We were silent for a few minutes.

“Okay, i will have you then,” what Junhyung had said made me fluttered.

“So Seob, lets doing something fun!” Junhyung break the hug.

“Do what? Im lazy and it’s still raining outside.”

“Let’s watch horor movie.”

“But we had watched all of movies at dorm.”

“Let’s watch this, I’ve borrowed it from Heechul Hyung,” Jun said.

Junhyung turn on the dvd player and insert the dvd.

We like to watch horror movie at the dorm. Among all the members me and Junhyung love to watching that kind of movie the most.

Unlike me and Jun, Dujun hate horror movie. When we wanted to watch that he will ran out to the kitchen or his room said he was hungry or sleepy. Hah, actually he was just scared to see the ghost. Dujun.. I caught you! Leader boygroup who was really popular, our national boyfriend-idol will be really scared seeing the ghost popped up in the television.

“Ya, didn’t she know that the ghost is behind her? She should run away!”

“You could phone her to inform her,” I said lazily.

“It just a movie Yoseobabo!”

“I know I know, just don’t call me babo, idiot!”

“Mianhae Seob-ah,” Junhyung clung his body to me.

I nodded my head. We watched again.

When the movie ended we walked inside our room. I slid my jeans down, changed that with a boxer designed with thomas train, meanwhile Junhyung plopped down on our bed.

“You are wearing weird boxer again. Why u don’t wear flowers patterned boxer like what you’d wore yesterday?”

I just shrugged my shoulders and throw my body on bed beside Junhyung. I made myself comfortable beside Jun.

“Goodnight,” Junhyung whispered in my ear and kissed my head.

O_O What’s wrong with him today? Why did he kissed my head?

My heart thumped hard in my chest. My cheeks blushed and Junhyung teased me for that.

I just hide my face on my pillow.

The next morning I woke up because i smelled food, it smell really good. My feet just stepped by itself to the kitchen.

I was surprised to see who was wearing cute appron in there.

“J-junhyung, what  are you doing?”

“You are wake up? Im preparing our breakfast,” Junhyung didn’t turn his face to me, he was busy with his flyingpan(?)

I pulled one chair on dinner table. Sat on it and watching every Junhyung’s movement again. Then I remembered something. Junhyung was really bad at cooking. When he was helped me to cook something he destroyed my foods.

Then Im smelling something scorched.

“Uwaaa...!”

I got up and approaching Jun. “What’s going on?”

“My pancake.. it’s burnt..”

“It’s really !”

We were sat at dinner  table. “Jun, didn’t there’s any other food than this? Are we eat charcoal or what?”

Junhyung observed the food.

“Huh, let me solve the problem. I’ll cook for you,” I walked to kitchen counter and started got the ingredients. I planned to cook kimchi fried rice.

Jun approached my side, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“No need! Just sat at there. Or you’ll ruining my food”

Junhyung was grinning while scratched the back of his head. “Geureyo, geure..”

After i’ve finished we ate all the  foods.

--

“Seob, let’s out! I want to play at beach or swimming pool. But amusement park also sounds good,” Junhyung opened our shared room.

“Seob, you are still sleeping? Let’s play-“ Junhyung  pulled down my blanket.

“Yoseob-ah are u okay?” Junhyung check my forehead. “Ouch, u’r running fever.”

“Nan gwaenchana.. you want to play? Let’s go to beach then or-“

“Yoseob..” Junhyung cut my words. “Just rest.. you’re sick now.” Junhyung stood up and leave my room.

A few seconds later he was cameback with damp clothes, then he placed it on my forehead.

“I’ll buy some medicine for you, get some sleep ok?”

20 minutes later Junhyung cameback and woke me up. “Seobi, eat this medicine, to reduce your fever.”

Junnie helped me to sit and get my medicine. I swallowed it at once. I peeked at clock which was hanging on bedroom wall.

6.15 pm

“Hey,have you eaten since this noon?”

I shook my head to Junhyung’s question.

“You can’t cooking now, we can’t order foods, you must eat something healthy but if I cook for you..” Jun mumbled.

Then he went out of our room.

I check my forehead, the heat were not gone yet.

‘This day Junnie is really nice to me. He’s take care of me when I’m sick. I really grateful Junnie is here beside me now, when I really need him’

I opened a drawer beside the bed. I took a small size book from it. I opened the empty page and start writing something on my diary.

The sound of the door knob opened made me startled. I closed my diary and hide it under my pillow.

Jun came in bringing a bowl of something with him. He sat at the edge of the bed.

“Hm, I cook porridge for you. I know I can’t cook well.. but i’ve tried my best, if it tasted really bad just swallow it. Okay? You still must eat something,” Junhyung handed a spoonful porridge, blew it and lifted it to my mouth.

“Say aaa,” I opened my mouth and ate it.

It didn’t taste really bad, although it was a little bit salty, Jun have tried hard cooked it for me..

My tears went down.

“Seob, why are you crying?”

“A-aniyoo.. hm.. I miss my mom so much, usually when I was sick my mom would take care of me and made porridge for me and feed me like you did.”

Junnie brought me to his embrace, “And when you’re far away from your mom, I’ll be your mom who will take care of you when you are sick.” I wiped my tears with Junnie’s clothed shoulder. “Now, lie down,” I nodded.

Junhyung fixed my pillows to make me comfortable.

I murmured something, “This is why I love you so much.”

“What did you say,” Junhyung asked.

“Ah aniya, let’s sleep..” I lied on my back. Jun pulled blanket up to cover me till my shoulders. He switched his position to a slouching position at the head of the bed.

Junhyung had his hand on my hair. Running his  finngers through it softly. I closed my eyes. I could heard Jun mumbled something,  i couldn’t heard properly and what he was said sounded like a dream to me.

“I can’t lie to myself, this feelings i know i’m not allowed to have it. I love you. Yang Yoseob.”