Yongguk stared out the window of his apartment as he sipped his morning coffee. He was up early for work and one of his daily rituals was watching the sunrise before he started his day. He glanced at his wristwatch and smiled when he saw it was 6:41. Himchan would be arriving by 7 o’clock and the two of them would spend a half hour together drinking coffee and conversing before heading out to work.

He mused at the thought. Sometimes they acted like a married couple, and even though it was routine, he cherished every moment of it. It was one of the few times they were guaranteed to spend together. Although neither of them said it, it was one of the major things that got them through the day. He placed the back of his hand against the window and mumbled to himself, “I better wear my scarf.”

It had been 5 months since Himchan had helped him get the apartment and a lot had happened since then. In September he had settled for a job selling morning newspapers. It was a part time job, so he didn’t make much, but he saved every penny he made. Himchan was still helping him with his monthly payments on the apartment and he still felt guilty about that. However, instead of sulking, he decided to temporarily put his pride aside until he found a better job. He was saving all the money he made from his current job in mason jars he kept hidden in the closet. He thought Himchan would have disagreed at the idea, but much to his surprise, his family was skeptical about banks as well. The Kim’s never put a dime in the banks and kept their money in secret locations. “You just never know what could happen” he recalled Himchan saying one day. The Kim’s had opened up a few more “pharmacies” in different areas of New York City and could never be too careful with their finances. It was a smart move given all the speakeasy raids lately and certain bankers were known to rat out their employers if they knew they were handling dirty money. Yongguk had yet to meet the infamous Mr. Kim but he was thankful he hadn’t. From the stories his lover had told him, he did not want to cross paths with his father.

Yongguk glanced at his wristwatch again and walked back into the kitchen to pour Himchan’s cup of coffee and refill his own. His lover was the complete opposite of him. Yongguk liked his coffee black but Himchan had to have his with a little bit of cream and two sugar cubes. Once he had finished, he set both cups on their saucers and placed a spoon next to each one. It looked a little formal on the small breakfast table but Himchan didn’t mind. The table was next to a large window just outside the kitchen so the area was “bathed in sunlight” as Ms. Garner had stated when she was selling him the apartment.  Coincidentally his breakfast table was reminiscent of the tables in their favorite café. However his table it was meant for 4 people instead of 2. He didn’t have many friends but since Himchan was married and was expecting a baby, he figured it would be smart to have a table big enough for all of them.

Much to his relief, Charlotte was still in the dark about the affair. He felt guilty betraying her without her knowing but he loved Himchan too much to give him up. The baby would be due next month sometime and he’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t excited for the arrival of his future god-child.

Yongguk was torn from his thoughts when he heard the front door click open. He grinned because he knew that was Himchan. He had gotten a spare key to make things easier for the both of them.

“Good morning Mr. Kim. Your coffee is ready,” he teased as Himchan walked towards the kitchen area. Himchan rolled his eyes playfully and pulled Yongguk in for a kiss. The elder did not protest and wrapped his arms around Himchan’s waist as they familiarized themselves with each other’s lips. “You feel cold,” Yongguk mumbled in between kisses.

“That’s why you’re warming me up,” he chuckled as he pressed his lips harder against his.

“I can’t warm you up too much before work though,” he responded as he playfully nipped his bottom lip.

“Just shut up and kiss me Bbang,” he softly demanded. Yongguk hummed in response and pulled Himchan closer to him as the kissing continued. The two males still hadn’t been physically intimate but they were in no rush. They were taking everything one day at a time and going at their own pace. It took the pressure off of them and somewhat maintained a slight innocence to their relationship. They finally pulled away a few minutes later and enjoyed their coffee whilst discussing their schedules for the day.

“You’ll be done by 7 tonight?” Yongguk asked as he slipped on his coat. Himchan nodded and handed him his scarf once he had buttoned it up. It was getting colder, which meant the nights were coming earlier and Himchan didn’t like staying out later than he had to.

“I’ll be done by noon and will grab some lunch before looking around for some other jobs. But I’ll meet you at the speakeasy around half past 7. Is that okay?” he asked as he wrapped the scarf around his neck.

“That’s perfect. If I’m running late John will let you know.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

The two shared a quick kiss before exiting the apartment. The moment they stepped outside they were back into reality again. Himchan always walked Yongguk to work in the mornings and his driver would meet him a few blocks over next to a café at 8 o’clock sharp to pick him up.  The two had maintained this routine since September and fortunately it caused no suspicions. Before rounding the final corner that would place Yongguk at the newspaper stand he worked, Himchan pulled him into the alley and gently pushed him against the wall.

“Himchan what are you–”

He was cut off by Himchan’s lips against his own. The kiss was so sudden that he was thankful his back was against the wall otherwise his legs would have given out from lack of support. It was an extremely bold and risky move which is why it was so out of character for Himchan. Once he pulled away Yongguk stared at him in a daze and whispered, “You’re crazy. You know that right?” Himchan grinned as he pulled away, satisfied with his work and helped smooth out his coat.

“What am I going to do with you?” Yongguk questioned with a smile.

“I’m sure you already know the answer to that. Have a good day at work. I’ll see you tonight,” he said coolly as he made his exit from the alley. Yongguk watched him leave and was grinning from ear to ear. “That sly fox. Just you wait until I get my hands on you tonight,” he chuckled as he stepped out from the alley and walked to the newspaper stand.

---

Himchan stared at his watch, slightly annoyed that his meeting with Marvin “The Duke” Lockwood was starting up late. The meeting was supposed to start at 11 o’clock but it was already nearing 11:30. “Typical Lockwood,” Himchan grumbled as he lit a cigarette to pass the time. He usually addressed him by his first name or his nickname, but whenever he was annoyed he’d call the man by his last name. He impatiently tapped his foot on the floor, inhaling a large amount of smoke and blowing it out his nose.

Marvin was a fellow bootlegger who had been in the business a few years. He was a white male in his late 30’s with a stocky build and was already losing some hair. His father regularly made deals with him and often had his liquor stocked in their speakeasies and vice versa. It was more like an alliance of sorts. ’It’s always good to network’ he recited his father’s words in his head. Marvin was usually late to these meetings so he shouldn’t have been surprised but he was still annoyed. He had a busy schedule for the day and he’d be damned if “The Duke” kept him waiting any longer.

Just as he was about to stand up to leave Marvin walked into the room wiping his lips with a handkerchief. His clothes were disheveled and his fly was open. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why he was late.

Himchan snorted before asking, “Was she good Marvin?”

“She’s as good as any other broad and that’s not saying much,” he laughed as he straightened his clothes. “Sorry to keep you waiting. How’s your father?”

“We all have needs. Mr. Kim is doing fine. He had a prior engagement which is why he isn’t here with me today.”

The two men made small talk in the private room of Lockwood’s speakeasy. He had a few men standing guard out front as just a precaution even though nothing ever happened. The two talked about future shipments of their liquor and the opening of new speakeasies throughout the city before finalizing their meeting. Right after they shook hands and Himchan prepared to make his leave, there was a sudden loud ruckus outside the door. The two men looked at each other in confusion and jumped when they heard yelling followed by a couple gunshots.

“! Don’t tell me the *coppers are here.” Marvin cursed as he pulled out a gun that he had taped under the table. Himchan stared at him incredulously and Marvin quickly responded, “You never know what could go wrong during a meeting. You’re still a kid Himchan so you’re not used to this yet. You can never be too careful these days.”

“Now you want to be serious?” he scoffed.

More gunfire erupted and the sounds of bottles being broken could be heard. “Unbelievable! How the hell did they know about this joint?!” Marvin yelled for his men outside the door to hear.

“We don’t know Duke! You two need to get out now while we’re able to hold these bulls off!” one of the men yelled.

“Maybe someone that works with you is a stool-pigeon!” Himchan snapped.

“Damn it all,” he mumbled to himself and looked apologetically at Himchan. “You know where the secret exit is right?”

“Of course I know Lockwood; I wouldn’t have come here if I didn’t know where it was.” He sighed angrily as he pushed his way out the room, ignoring Marvin as he yelled at him to wait. This would have never happened at his speakeasy because his men weren’t as careless. Marvin had always been business savvy but his carefree attitude never mixed well as a bootlegger.

The gunshots got louder and Himchan dove behind the bar counter just as a bullet whizzed past his head. “LOCKWOOD I SWEAR IF I DIE HERE TODAY I’M GONNA COME BACK AND HAUNT YOU!” he yelled.

“YOU’RE NOT GONNA DIE! MY MEN ARE HANDLING THESE *BULLS!”

The gunfire continued and Himchan reached into his coat pocket for his own pistol. He only had six bullets so he’d have to make them count. He’d never actually killed a man before and the thought of it terrified him. He was capable of many things but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to take the life of another person; He wasn’t God.

He was quickly torn from his thoughts as Marvin jerked him up from his hiding place behind the bar counter. “Get your up and move now! If anything happens to you, your father would never forgive me.” Himchan nearly tripped over his feet as Marvin dragged him out the saloon area. Just as they were about to make it to the door, Himchan screamed and fell to the floor as he felt a sharp hot pain go through his left shoulder. Marvin turned around and fired a few shots, hitting the cop directly in the chest before lifting Himchan over his shoulder and carrying him through the door. He locked it shut and helped the younger man to his feet.

“Come to your senses boy!” he lightly tapped his cheek as Himchan leaned against the wall for support. Blood was dripping on the floor and he could tell he was in a daze still. “Himchan, I need to you to keep up with me otherwise we’ll both be killed. You got a wife and kid waiting for you at home, you can’t die here.”

Upon hearing Charlotte’s name Himchan thought of Yongguk and that ultimately gave him the will to make it out of the raid alive. He stuffed his pistol back in his coat pocket and tightly clutched his shoulder as he followed the stocky man through his “escape route”. Himchan was feeling lightheaded each step he took but he focused his thoughts on Yongguk in the hopes that would keep him conscious until he got somewhere safe.

---

Yongguk rubbed his hands together as he walked inside his apartment complex. It was freezing outside and he had to cut his job search short due to the change in weather conditions. It was getting colder and he knew the first snow would be coming any day now. He glanced at his watch and saw it was nearing 3 o’clock.

“I still have a few hours left to kill before I’ll meet Himchan tonight.”

Once he stepped out of the elevator, he pulled out his key and made his way towards the end of the hall. He tossed it up in the air a few times but accidentally dropped it. He laughed at himself for being so clumsy but he froze the moment he saw a few droplets of blood on the hardwood floor. He quickly picked up his key and noticed his doorknob had dried blood stained on it. His heart rate quickened as he turned the doorknob. Much to his surprise it was unlocked.

Yongguk glanced around the corridor one last time before wiping the blood on the floor with the sole of his shoe. He mentally noted to clean off the doorknob too so his neighbors wouldn’t get suspicious. As soon as he entered his apartment, he locked the door behind him and followed the trail of blood leading to his bedroom. He grabbed the baseball bat he kept next to his bed and made his way into the bathroom. He didn’t know if someone was waiting for him or not but it was better to be safer than sorry. He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to see and said a silent prayer. Once inside the bathroom his breath hitched and his baseball bat fell to the floor when he saw Himchan bleeding and unconscious in his bathtub with a pistol clutched in his hands.

He needed to remain calm because if he acted to suddenly Himchan could accidentally shoot him. He took a few more deep breaths to calm down and put his Navy training to use. He carefully removed the pistol from Himchan’s hands and emptied the barrel. He placed the pistol and its bullets in separate drawers before focusing attention to his lover. Yongguk pressed his fingers against his neck and was relieved there was still a somewhat strong pulse.

“H-Himchan you need to wake up,” he said as calmly as he could while he lightly tapped his cheek. He wasn’t getting much of a response so he had no choice but to be drastic. “Please forgive me,” he whispered as he slapped him.

Himchan’s body jerked and he gained consciousness but in a panicked state. “Lockwood… Lockwood?!” he shouted hysterically. Yongguk cupped his cheeks and quickly responded, “It’s me Himchan! It’s Yongguk. Calm down… please.” Yongguk knew if he wasn’t careful Himchan could go into shock so he continued to cup his cheeks and look into his eyes as he calmly spoke to him. After a minute Himchan relaxed and recognized his surroundings.

“Bbang...”

Tears stung Yongguk’s eyes and rolled down his cheeks as he nodded his head. “Yeah baby, it’s me. You’re at the apartment so you’re safe now.”

Out of impulse Himchan lifted his arm to wipe his lover’s tears but he cursed when he felt the sharp pain in his shoulder. His breathing grew heavier and he squeezed his eyes shut as a wave of pain hit him. “There was a raid… and I got hit,” he spoke through gritted teeth.

“I need to get you to the hospital–”

“No! No hospitals. I have a personal doctor. Call him instead,” he grunted as he tried to sit up.

Yongguk gently placed his hand on his thigh to get his attention. “You need to stay still. You’ve lost a lot of blood already and you don’t want to lose anymore. Tell me the number so I can call your doctor.” Normally he would have been stubborn but given his life was on the line and his situation had caused Yongguk to cry, he complied. He recited the number for him and stayed seated in that bathtub until the doctor arrived. Dr. Irving Lee, a Korean American, was the personal doctor for the Kim family. He had worked with them ever since Himchan was a child and Mr. Kim trusted no other doctors when it came to his son. As soon as Dr. Lee arrived, the older man told Yongguk to wait in the living room until he was finished. Although he was apprehensive, he followed his orders. Yongguk paced around the living room, smoking through the brand new pack of cigarettes he had bought earlier that morning as he anxiously waited for the doctor to treat his lover’s injury.

---

Hours later, after Himchan’s wound had been treated and he’d been medicated, Yongguk was feeding the slightly drowsy male some tomato soup. It was nearing 9 o’clock but he wanted to get some food into his stomach before he let him go back to sleep.

“Does it taste okay?”

“Mhm.”

He smiled softly and fed him what was left in the bowl before standing up. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to take this to the kitchen.”

As he placed the bowl and spoon in the sink, he pulled out his “emergency pack” of cigarettes he kept in one of the kitchen cabinets. Once he lit it and inhaled the smoke he began to calm down as he thought about the events hours earlier. Himchan’s left shoulder was now bandaged and his arm was in a sling temporarily. Yongguk could still remember Dr. Lee yelling for him to help pin Himchan down in the bathtub as he pulled the bullet out of his shoulder with a pair of tweezers. His heart ached at the thought of Himchan not being alive. He was so thankful for the change in weather because if he hadn’t come home when he did, who knows what could have happened. He shook the thought from his mind as he put out the cigarette in the sink and blew the remainder of the smoke through his nose.

“I need to be strong. Everything will be okay,” he mumbled to himself.

“Bbaaaaaang!”

Yongguk rushed into the room when he heard his nickname called and was relieved to see Himchan was alright. Dr. Lee told him the side-effects of the medication he had given Himchan would cause him to be a little “loopy”.

“Bbang come to me,” Himchan whined as he reached out for him with his good [right] arm. Yongguk chuckled and sat on the chair next to the bed as he gently held his hand.

“Are you okay baby?”

“I’m swell. Sweller than the swellest person,” he chuckled.

‘Oh yeah, he’s really loopy.’ Yongguk thought to himself.

“Hey Bbang.”

“Yeah baby?”

“I never said thank you for saving me, did I?”

“What are you talking about? You don’t have to thank me for anything.”

Himchan gently shook his head and lightly squeezed his lover’s hand. “Thank you. You saved my life and I might not be here if you hadn’t come home when you did. I’m sorry I got blood all over the floor and in your bathtub… but I’m mostly sorry I made you cry.”

Yongguk felt tears prickling his eyes when Himchan kissed the back of his hand, but he quickly blinked them away before his lover noticed.

“You don’t have to apologize or thank me for anything. You saved yourself. You got out of that raid and made it back here alive.”

“No Yongguk, you don’t understand…” Himchan paused as he tried to find the proper words to express his thoughts. He furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to process everything. His thoughts were jumbled and his mind felt slightly fuzzy. It was difficult due to being so drowsy from the pain medication and that made Himchan uncomfortable, even though he didn’t vocalize it. His mind always needed to be sharp, even if the situation didn’t call for it. Himchan stared at his hand and admired how well it fit into Yongguk’s. It was almost as if they were two pieces in a puzzle that fit perfectly together. He gently squeezed his hand and much to his relief he finally began to formulate his thoughts properly.

“People often say that when you’re near death, your life flashes before your eyes. When I got shot and hit the ground, preparing for the final blow, your face is what came to mind. When Marvin picked me up and got me into that back room, he told me to think about my wife and my future child waiting for me back home, but I couldn’t think of them. As horrible as that sounds it’s true. The only person I thought about was you. The fear of never seeing you again gave me the extra push to make it out of that raid. I focused on you the entire time, even when I was struggling to unlock the door to your apartment. So you see… you did save me Yongguk. If it wasn’t for you, I think I would have given up.”

He was speechless after hearing his confession and the only response he could think of was leaning forward and gently pressing his lips against Himchan’s forehead. “The thought of living without you is unimaginable. I love you Himchan,” he mumbled as he pressed his lips against his forehead again.

“I wish we could run away…”

Yongguk shifted out the chair so he was sitting on the edge of the bed and smiled sadly at the thought. “I wish we could too baby, but we can’t.”

“Why not Yongguk? I have enough money. All we need to do is gather up some clothes and take the next train out of the city. We could be gone tonight! Nobody would have to know.”

“You’re not thinking clearly right now.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child. I am thinking clearly Yongguk.”

Yongguk held his tongue so he wouldn’t say anything he’d regret later. He didn’t want to start an argument, especially not in the current state Himchan was in. He remained silent as Himchan continued to give his reasons why running away was a good solution.

“We finally have the opportunity to live our lives the way we want to. What's stopping us? We could make our own little world a reality!" A grin spread on Himchan's face as he thought of his fantasy coming to life. "We could buy a farm. Remember how we talked about that in our letters? We could live somewhere nobody could find us and we could be ourselves. We could be free to love each other without any restraints; Without any fear of being discovered."

Himchan saw the lack of enthusiasm from the man sitting next to him and his smile began to fade. "Yongguk... this is the fresh start we need. This is a golden opportunity and we need to take it. Why can’t you see that?”

“Because it’s just not possible.”

Himchan frowned at the blunt response. He almost felt betrayed that his lover wasn't packing his bags and helping him out of bed so they could make their grand escape for a new life. He knew it was a foolish idea and was rash, but he didn't care. He was a man of opportunity and he was ready to seize the day with this convenient change in events.

"I could fake my death. I was as good as dead anyway. Yongguk listen to me please," he pleaded as he gently placed his hand on his thigh.

"I'm listening,” he mumbled.

“That raid will be front page news in all the papers tomorrow, and it will probably be assumed that I’m dead. Marvin has probably told my father what happened by now but none of them know where you live so they’ll never find me. I’m as good as dead. Charlotte will be taken care of… she and the baby are in my will. They’ll be financially stable the rest of their lives. It’s time for us to move on Bbang. It’s time for us to stop hiding and to live for ourselves now. What we’re doing might be wrong to the world but it’s our lives, not theirs.”

Himchan was such a smooth talker, and Yongguk was almost sold on the idea until he heard the mention of Miss Charlotte and the baby. His conscience was screaming at him to think of the consequences. They had too much to lose, and he knew that Himchan was better than this. That medicine he took was no different than liquor; It was taking away his pain but clouding his judgment.

“Baby I know we’ve always talked about these fantasies, even in our letters, or those late nights we stayed up talking, but this is different though… this is dangerous. We can’t do this Himchan. If we put all our cards on the table like this, we’d have too much to lose and nothing to gain.”

“Since when did you give up so easily?”

“I’m not giving up on us.”

“It sure as hell seems like it…”

“Listen to yourself Himchan,” he huffed. “As lovely as it sounds, you’re not being realistic.”

“You’re the one that’s being unrealistic!” he shouted.

“Please calm down. I don’t want to fight.”

“Do you honestly think I’m capable of fighting? I was shot,” he snapped. “Or have you forgotten about that already?”

Yongguk was on the verge of losing his temper because Himchan was acting like a brat. However, he remained calm because he knew an argument wasn’t going to help alleviate the situation. “This is the medicine talking. Dr. Lee said this would be one of the side-effects.”

“Says you,” Himchan muttered.

No matter how tempting running away sounded to Yongguk, he could never go along with that idea because too many people would be affected.

“Himchan… it would be wrong of us to runaway together. Think about the bigger picture: you have a duty to your family business, but above all you have a wife and will be a father soon. Running away with you would be a dream come true, but that’s all it is; A dream.” He paused as he slowly cupped Himchan’s cheek with one hand. Tears stung his eyes as he saw how helpless their situation really was. “We could do it but at what cost? We can’t be that selfish baby… we’re already being too selfish right now.”

“I’d give up everything for you… but you can’t do the same for me?” Himchan whispered in disbelief. “Do you even love me as much as I love you?”

A sharp pain surged through Yongguk’s chest, as if he had been stabbed in the heart with a dagger. He was taken aback by Himchan’s question and lowered his hand. His voice quieted down, almost into a whisper as he said, “After everything we’ve been through… you have the audacity to say that. Do you think that little of me?” His anger was beginning to boil over and he tried to calm himself down before he had an outburst.

The realization that he’d chosen his words poorly suddenly caused Himchan to feel ill due to the severity of his mistake. “Yongguk that came out wrong–”

“Don’t ever question my love for you!” he accidentally yelled. He clenched his teeth and took a deep breath so he wouldn’t say anything hurtful or out of spite. Yongguk lowered his head to hide the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. He didn’t expect there to be a quarrel, and he hadn’t expected it to turn into such a heavy conversation so quickly.

“N-No matter how much I’d want to run away with you and live on that farm together, it wouldn’t be right and you know it. Too many people would get left behind.” He sniffled as he wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his shirt, too ashamed to look at his lover out of fear of seeming like a weakling.

“Now you want to act moral? Of all the times it had to be now. D-Dammit Yongguk,” he whispered.

“We can’t afford to careless. If we acted on our emotions alone and threw out logic, we could lose everything…”

Deep down Himchan knew he was right, but he had too much pride to admit it. Instead of handling his reaction maturely, he repeatedly hit Yongguk’s chest to take out his frustration. He knew he was acting like a spoiled child but he didn’t care at that moment. Fortunately due to his weakened state, it was not enough to hurt Yongguk, let alone leave a bruise. The elder knew this tantrum was medication induced since Himchan still wasn’t fully coherent of his actions, so he let him take out his anger on him.

After another minute of the hitting, Himchan stopped once he felt Yongguk’s lips against his own. He lightly gripped the front of his shirt and squeezed his eyes shut because the room was beginning to spin. He angrily kissed Yongguk back, hoping to convey his emotions into the physical act since talking was no longer an option. Once they parted, Himchan looked at him with tears in his eyes as he whispered, “It isn’t fair. I just want to be with you.”

“You are with me.”

“Yongguk that’s not what I meant,” he huffed.

He gently took Himchan’s hand and placed it over his heart so he could feel how fast it was beating. “You’re always with me. You are the only person in this world who can make my heart beat like this. Our situation is difficult but I know we’ll find a way to make it work. You’re injured right now so I think it’ll be best if you stay with me for a few days. I’ll call Miss Charlotte and let her know, okay?”

Himchan nodded and lowered his head once he felt a couple tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Yah… don’t be afraid to look at me,” Yongguk responded as he gently wiped his tears away.

“I hate this.”

“I know you do, but we’ll be okay. I promise.”

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep Yongguk,” he sniffled as he pulled his hand away from his chest to wipe his tears.

“I’ll be sure to keep this promise. As long as I’m still breathing, I will never break it,” he assured him. Yongguk was a true sap but his words were laced with nothing but sincerity.

“Damn this medication. Damn everything.” Himchan sighed in frustration as he covered his eyes with his hand. He began to cry again as the depth of Yongguk’s words began to sink in.

---

The following morning Yongguk phoned Charlotte and had to pull the receiver away from his ear to drown out her yelling. He looked at Himchan awkwardly before placing the receiver to his ear again.

“Yongguk I read the morning paper?! Where is Himchan, is he alright?” she asked hysterically.

“Miss Charlotte he’s alright. He’s safe and he’s at my apartment. Before I tell you anything else I want you to calm down. You’re eight months pregnant and you don’t want to go into early labor. Just sit down somewhere and take a few deep breaths okay?”

“A-Alright,” she replied as she followed his instructions and finally managed to calm herself down. “Yongguk please tell me what happened. I got no sleep last night, I was so worried.”

“Himchan was injured but his doctor came by and bandaged him up. He’ll be fine. He just needs to rest for a few days.”

“Yongguk… what kind of injury was it? I can handle it, I swear I can. Please tell me. I need to know,” Charlotte pleaded.

He hesitated for a moment before saying, “He was shot in his shoulder, but it’s nothing life threatening.” Yongguk grimaced when he heard Charlotte sobbing on the phone and looked at Himchan for help. The other nodded and motioned for the phone so he could console his wife.

“Miss Charlotte, hold on. I’m passing the phone to Himchan.”

Once he took the phone Yongguk decided to go to the kitchen for a smoke, so he could give Himchan and Charlotte some privacy. His guilt was weighing heavy on his conscience because Charlotte was such a genuine and kind woman. He was ashamed it took Himchan nearly getting killed for him to realize that she loved him just as much as he did. Here he was trying to milk this opportunity to keep Himchan all to himself despite him having a pregnant wife at home waiting for him. He was lower than dirt and mentally scolded himself for being such a terrible person.

“God… please forgive me,” he mumbled quietly to himself as he took a long drag from his cigarette.

---

After Himchan talked with Charlotte, she ended the call with Yongguk, thanking him for taking such good care of her husband. He graciously accepted her apology even though deep down he felt like scum for his hidden agenda. Once he hung up the telephone he looked at Himchan for answers. He and Charlotte were on the line for half an hour and he was curious about what they discussed.

“So… are you going back home?”

“No, I’ll be staying here for the next two weeks if that’s alright with you,” he said with a straight face.

“Two weeks?!” Yongguk accidentally shouted.

Himchan chuckled at the response.

“Himchan do you really mean you’ll be living here with me for the next two weeks?”

“Yes.”

“How did you manage to pull that off?” Yongguk asked in disbelief.

“Well, after discussing it with Charlotte, we decided it would be easier for me to stay here with you while I recover. She’s going to Philadelphia to stay with her parents the next two weeks. She’s been very tense due to worrying about the baby and this event did not help her delicate condition. We both decided this would be the safest solution. I’ll take care of all her arrangements for the train and she’ll be leaving by Friday.”

“You two really do care about each other,” he smiled softly.

Himchan briefly nodded his head as he unexpectedly heard those words. “She’s a good girl. She never asked for this life. Our marriage was more of a benefit for our families. We got along well enough and there’s never a dull moment with her. I feel guilty sometimes going behind her back like this but… I just can’t give you up. I’m pretty pathetic aren’t I? Pathetic and selfish.” He looked at his lover with a sad smile as he picked a piece of lint off the blanket.

“We’re both fools in love,” he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Fools that know what the consequences are.”

“At least we can forget about those consequences for the next two weeks. We probably won’t have another opportunity like this again Bbang. We have to make the most of it,” he said as he gently placed his hand over Yongguk’s, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Yongguk leaned in slowly and gently kissed his lips, “Don’t worry baby. I’m looking forward to it.”