The rest of the week passed by faster than Yongguk had anticipated, and when he awoke, a sense of dread washed over him. He would be leaving New York and it would probably be months or another year before he returned. Everything he experienced in this city, both the good and the bad, would forever be ingrained in his memory. The speakeasies, the parties, the music, the liquor... it was all still there and he knew it would never leave him; it was a part of him now.

It was time for Yongguk to go back to reality, back to that boring life of a sailor that wasn't even treated as an equal. Once again he'd be subjected to prejudice on that ship by his fellow seamen and lonely nights spent staring out that tiny window near his bunk. There wasn't much to look forward to, but he had found someone that would give him the strength to endure all of it. Whether it be six months or another year serving, Yongguk would work his hardest so he could earn an honorable discharge.

He'd devoted nearly five years of his life to the navy, but he was ready to retire and start a new chapter in his life. He'd found that new chapter with Himchan, despite the riskiness of their relationship. The consequences for being queer and an adulterer were severe, but it was a risk Yongguk was willing to take. He had no plans for the future, all he knew was that he was ready to call New York home.

When he finally rolled out the bed, he glanced at the clock on the wall and saw it was nearly 7 o'clock. Yongguk's ship didn't leave until 10:30 but Himchan would be at the suite in nearly half an hour. They'd only have a couple hours left together, but he knew they would make it count.

After Yongguk's bath, he dressed in the same white uniform he had worn when he first arrived in the city, and packed the rest of his clothes in his suitcase. As soon as he set the small piece of luggage in the living room, he heard a knock at the door. A sad smile formed on his lips and he briskly walked to the door, not even bothering to look through the peephole before he opened it. "Hey... new suit?" he questioned as he stepped aside for Himchan to enter.

Himchan had told himself he wouldn't act sad around Yongguk and make this harder for the both of them but when Yongguk opened the door in his white uniform - the same uniform he had worn when they had met for the first time - it felt as if someone punched a hole in his chest and was now squeezing his heart. He got inside, the smile he tried to force on his lips turning into a grimace and he pulled Yongguk in his arms, burying his face in the other one's neck without waiting for him to close the door. He didn't answer the question, knowing his voice would fail him.

He immediately shut the door behind Himchan and tightly wrapped his arms around him. "I know," he whispered as he leaned his head against his. "I know.."

"How long do we have?", he mumbled after a silence, voice muffled as he kept his face buried in Yongguk's neck. His fingers curled up into the back of his uniform, the material tightly.

"Barely two hours now," he murmured. Although this was hard for him too, he knew he had to be the stronger one this time. "We'll still write. Time will fly by I promise."

Himchan tightened his arms around Yongguk before pulling back with a soft sigh. "I'll miss you.. so much."

"I'll miss you too.." he smiled weakly. "You remember how to address letters to me right?"

"Yeah.. I know it by heart.", Himchan managed to return a small smile before letting out a sigh.

Yongguk cupped Himchan's face and lightly pressed his lips against his. "I'll keep that picture of you with me wherever I go."

"What if it gets wet though?"

"Ah... I'll take it everywhere with me minus the deck and the shower," he chuckled.

Himchan smiled and shook his head at him, "Tell me if it gets damaged, I'll send you a new one."

"I will, and I'll try my hardest to send you a photograph of me in my uniform."

"I'll keep that in my wallet.", Himchan chuckled and pecked Yongguk's lips softly.

He smiled and pulled Himchan into his arms again. "Normally I wouldn't want to wrinkle your suit, but time is precious. I need to make this last," he sighed.

"I don't mind you wrinkling it..", Himchan rested his head against his shoulder, wrapping his arms back around his waist.

"Just think.. by sometime next year I'll be in New York permanently.."

"I'm looking forward to it.. Don't forget to call me whenever you come back.. I left my number under the phone here.."

"I won't forget, and I'll be sure to let you know ahead of time when I'm coming. I'll work hard to be the best sailor aboard the USS New York. I'm ready to retire, and I'm ready to be with you... despite how risky this all is. I guess this separation will be good practice for us huh?"

"I'm sure you're already the best sailor they've ever had.", Himchan replied with a smile. "I guess.. It's just.. saddening because I want to spend all my time with you. I wish I could come with you or something like that."

"I wish you could come too, but you don't want to be around all that. I'm not really treated as an equal on that ship by the others. My higher ups are respectful, but some of the other guys always make it known they don't like the 'oriental sailor'. But I guess I shouldn't complain, the kitchen and custodial staff get it worse than me."

"Give me their names.. I'll get them beaten up for you," Himchan scrunched up his nose, frowning.

"Too many names to remember, but I'm alright. They're not all like that."

"But still.. I could get them beaten up if you want."

"I know you could, but I'll let karma handle it." He glanced at the clock on the wall again and sighed when he saw how much time had passed.

"Can always force karma.." Himchan mumbled and glanced at the clock as well when he noticed the other one doing so. "Can I go there with you? I mean, I know I can't say goodbye in front of the ship.. But.. can I just come?"

"Of course you can," he grinned. "I wanted to ask but I wasn't sure if that would be asking too much since you have an important job."

"I'm not working tonight.." he shrugged.

"Why not Himchan?"

"Because.. I know I won't want to do anything.. once you're gone."

"You have to Himchan," he sighed as he took both of his hands into his own. "I don't want to leave, and lord knows I want to hide out here and stay with you, but I have a duty to this country, and I'll stick it out. Each day is going to be a struggle but in the end it'll all be worth it once we're together again. We have to remain a secret Himchan, so you can't sulk or be depressed because people might get suspicious," he paused momentarily. "You told me you wanted to be an actor right? Well use those acting skills... and act like nothing is wrong. Then you can pour out all your emotions into your letters you write me, and I'll send you comfort through my own," he smiled weakly. "We can do this... we have to."

Himchan looked at his hands while he spoke and nodded. "I'll try.. Just not tonight.. If I hide everything right away, I might just burst before you're back."

"Alright. Well... maybe I can give you something that might help... since I don't have a photograph."

"What would you give me?"

He pulled away and motioned Himchan to follow him to the living room. Yongguk set his suitcase on its side and opened it up with a smile. "I don't have much, but pick a shirt... any shirt. It's not a photograph, but... it's the most I can give right now."

Himchan bit his lip lightly as he looked at the clothes before looking back up at Yongguk. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. Take one," he grinned once again, only this time his gums showed.

A smile appeared on Himchan's lips at the sight of Yongguk's grin and he nodded, turning to look over the shirts again, taking one that had practically the same blue as the uniform Yongguk had borrowed him once.

Once Himchan pulled it out the suitcase Yongguk shut it and sat it upright again. "Good choice."

He nodded, chuckling and hugged the shirt a bit against his chest before lowering it, thinking it might seem creepy to do it in front of him. "Thank you.."

"You're welcome baby." He stepped over to him and pulled him into his arms again. "I'll be sure to send you that photograph as soon as I can."

Himchan leaned against him, sighing softly. "Okay.. How long do we still have?"

"We have about an hour left before I need to head out.."

"Alright..", he nodded and pecked Yongguk's lips lightly.

"I think the only good thing out of me leaving is all the affections you're showing me today," he teased.

Himchan laughed softly. "You won't have any affections for a long while after this."

"That is true. Every kiss you give me, I'm making sure I remember how it feels."

"Should give you a proper one then," he mumbled before pressing his lips against Yongguk's gently. He didn't protest and kissed the other man eagerly, taking mental note of the feeling Himchan's lips felt on his own as they molded together.

Himchan raised his arms to wrap them around Yongguk's neck, moving his lips with the other one's slowly. Time stood still as the kiss progressed and Yongguk showed no sign of stopping. He pulled Himchan flush against him and tightened his arms around the man's waist as the kiss deepened. He delved in every nook and cranny of Himchan's mouth and caressed the other's tongue with his own. Yongguk put all his emotions into the kiss so that the other would know how he felt without any words needing to be said.

He finally pulled away as he was out of breath, cheeks flushed and lips plump. Himchan locked his gaze with the other one's, a small smiling appearing on his face while he pulled a hand back to caress Yongguk's cheek.

He smiled softly and turned his head, gently placing a kiss on his palm before locking eyes with him once again.

"Was that a good kiss to remember?" Himchan asked, rubbing his thumb over Yongguk's cheek.

"Yeah... it was." A light tint of blushed had formed on his cheeks without him realizing it. "Will you remember it?"

Kim Himchan "Yeah.." he smiled a bit wider at the sight of the light blush and leaned in, kissing his cheek softly. "I will."

"I'm really going to miss that.."

"My kisses?" he chuckled. "That's all you're gonna miss?"

"Your smile."

"My smile..?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "You're not smiling in your photograph."

"I don't think I've ever smiled on a photograph... I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's not really normal to smile in photographs," he chuckled. "I doubt smiling in photographs ever will be normal."

"Maybe, yeah.. Just imprint it in your memory then."

"It's already there. And... promise me when you see me off you won't lose that smile. I don't want that to be the last thing I see of you."

Himchan smiled sheepishly. "I promise.."

"Good."

They spent what was left of their time together in each others embrace before finally heading down to Himchan's car. As the chauffeur pulled out onto the street, Yongguk looked at the grande hotel he had called home one last time. He slyly took Himchan's hand in his own and laced them together while keeping it hidden between their thighs. Fortunately for them there was a bit of traffic which would bide them a few more minutes at most before they had to part ways.

"Promise you'll be safe.. I don't think could bear it if anything would happen to you," Himchan said in a soft voice, switching to Korean as they sat in the car.

"I'll be okay. Nothing bad will happen to me I promise," he replied in Korean. "This is only temporary. Next year sometime I'll be by your side permanently."

Himchan smiled softly, squeezing his hand. "Maybe we should get you an apartment when you're back.. A suite isn't really a home.."

"That sounds good, and I'll look for work immediately once I return so you don't have to pay my way anymore. I don't need anything fancy. As long as it has a roof, a bed and a john I'm okay."

"I'll try to hold myself back when we'll look for apartments," he chuckled, shifting a bit closer to lean against him without it seeming suspicious in any way.

"We wouldn't want anything too flashy so as not to attract attention whenever you come over. I know that we'll only be able to see each other whenever you're free but I'm okay with that. Once I find work that'll take up what's left of my time." Yongguk was eyeing the chauffeur as Himchan shifted closer to him and mumbled, "If he gets suspicious of anything, will he tell your father or your wife?"

"You're right.. But I still want you to have comfort." Himchan glanced at his chauffeur. "I hired him, not my father. He has barely any contact with him so I doubt he will. Nor my wife."

"I just wanted to make sure he won't be suspicious of us.."

"I don't know.. He should keep his eyes on the road so I don't know if he'll ever be."

"At least he doesn't understand Korean." He grimaced when he saw the driver nearing the port. There wasn't much time left before he had to get out and walk the rest of the way to get aboard the ship.

Himchan leaned forward and asked his chauffeur to park the car a street away from the port and then take a walk around the block afterwards. The chauffeur nodded his head, not asking any questions.

As soon as the chauffeur was out of sight Yongguk cupped Himchan's face and kissed him with slight desperation, knowing very well he had only minutes left before he had to get out of the car. He raised a hand, grabbing Yongguk's collar to pull him closer as he answered the kiss, scooting even closer.

Yongguk made the kiss last as long as he could before pulling away and kissing every inch of Himchan's face. "I have to go now baby.." he whispered breathlessly. "I have to go now." He pressed his lips against Himchan's forehead and held him in his arms for one last moment before pulling away and smoothing out his shirt. He smiled weakly, eyes glistening slightly due to tears and placed one last gentle kiss on Himchan's lips.

Himchan grabbed his hand, pulling him back, ready to protest before he made up his mind, realising that holding him back would only cause him problems. He managed to put a smile on his face, just like he had promised, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Be safe.. I'll miss you," he murmured, unable to speak louder as a lump formed in his throat.

"I'll miss you too," he whispered out of fear of his voice cracking. He stole one last peck from Himchan as he grabbed his suitcase and exited the car. He practically ran the entire way to the ship, only looking back at the crowds of people and cars once he was on board. The ship pulled out at 10:30 sharp and Yongguk stayed out onto the deck until he could no longer see the New York harbor. He was already feeling heartache by the time he got back to his sleeping quarters but he discreetly pulled out that photograph of Himchan from his pocket and smiled. Yongguk kissed the photograph and pressed it to his chest before slipping it back in his pocket.

"Hey Bang! Is that a photo of your girl?"

"Ah.. yeah it is," he smiled sheepishly.

"Lucky bastard," the other man teased.

"Thanks," he smiled to himself. "I am lucky."

Himchan watched him leave and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees while hiding his face in his hands, thoughts flooding his mind about the little time they had spent together. It surprised him how much his heart was aching, although he had been aware of how strong his feelings were for the other one. He just never really thought it through. A few tears escaped and he pulled himself back together quickly, remembering how he had said to himself not to cry.

He stayed in that position for a moment before getting out of the car and walking to the port, feeling his heart drop as he got there right when the boat was leaving. He stayed at the other side of the street as he watched it leave, turning his eyes to the few people waving at the ship - relatives maybe.. or some girls the other crew members had met. He didn't have the heart to stay until the ship was out of sight, so he turned around and walked back to his car, meeting his chauffeur who was standing next to it, looking around for him.

"You alright, sir?" he asked as he saw Himchan.

"I'm good. Let's go." Himchan shrugged, getting into the car.

"Home, sir?" the chauffeur questioned while getting behind the wheel.

"No. Back to the hotel."

He couldn't face Charlotte tonight. She'd notice something was wrong and would try to get everything out of him. And it'd feel wrong to sleep next to her. It already felt wrong since he had started his relationship with Yongguk but he had been able to push that to the back of his mind. No, it was better to go back to the suite.