Broken.....

The final rays from the sunset peeked through the half opened window. A light wind of an autumn evening blew the curtains upright, sending chilly air throughout the bedroom. The view of his love pinpointed a trip to fond memories that brought to the present an overwhelming silence with a gaze of everlasting happiness. Her presence was of something pure and true, and was a precious gift that Jiyong could not allow to slip away.

"I pray sometimes" Jiyong said, smiling shyly at her. 

They are both laying comfortably in their bed, their fingers were twined in each other’s placed on top of his stomach while Dara's head is resting on his chest. His other hand gently playing with her hair, feeling the soft strands in between his fingers. 

It was a date, elaborately planned for the weekend. They’d bought tickets, and made reservations; she’d gotten her hair and nails done, he’d bought a suit.

And like all the rest of their dates, all the plans went out the window the moment they embraced. Instead of the fancy restaurant, they decided to lounge in their apartment and shut the world around them. Instead of the theatre, they just decided to listen to their favorite songs in the radio and instead of dancing, they whispered sweet endearments to each other under their blanket with only the ceiling of their room as their witnessed.

"Oh?" Dara asked. She wasn't listening to what he was saying; not the words. They weren’t important. The words were just more silly lover's nonsense; sweet nothings that felt good and have no caloric content.

Lovers never really listen to the words in those quiet, shared moments of emotional intimacy. They try to say the magic thing, but it's never heard with the distraction of caresses, tickles, giggles, kisses and happy sighs. Only later, after fires of passion have died to the sweet smolder of confirmed love do lovers take the time to hear what the other is saying. 

He drew a hand down her cheek, looking into her eyes. His eyes were suddenly needy; hopeful and ly vulnerable. 

"Yeah. I pray for you." 

"Me?" 

Dara smiled. Untangling her fingers on his, she reached for his chest and draw hearts with her pointer finger.

He laughed. 

"Yep. You. I pray for you." 

"Well, okay, great. But what for? I'm doing just fine," Dara said and He smiled again and looked away. 

"You're gonna think it's stupid," 

“Oh, my! A secret reason! How delightful!" she said, in a conspiratorial whisper. 

"Alright. Knock it off. So I'm a dork. I pray for you, because . . .." 

"Yeeeeessssss?" 

"I pray that God blesses you for all of your kindness to me." Dara laughed genuinely and Jiyong could feel his heart sommersaulting, he shook is head disbelievingly, after all this time, she still has this effect on him. "You find this funny don't you?" 

"No silly." Dara giggled. Her fingers gently crawling to his face until she finds his lips, she lifted herself up carefully and gave him a gentle peck on his lips. "He did bless me cause he gave me you."

Jiyong's heart pained deliciously upon hearing Dara's words. He felt heat in the corner of his eyes as he gaze down on her, at that instant he realized how lucky he is to have a great woman like her beside him, and he intend to keep her on his side until he dies and on the next lifetime. 

They were engulfed with a comfortable silence and the next thing he knew, Dara is already sleeping soundly beside him, he gently kiss the top of her head, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair and let out a contented sigh. He couldn't ask for more, he only needs her and no one else. "I love you baby" He whispered lovingly in her ear "I love you my soon to be wife" He mumbled to himself, smiling, gently taking her hand on his lips and kissed her ringless finger.

==========

"Unnie ppali! We have to go!!!" I heard Minzy shouted from the hallway. Today is a special day for me and Jiyong, it is our fourth year anniversary. I wanted to look beautiful and presentable on this special day for Jiyong so I asked Minzy to accompany me at the salon.

Minzy is our neighbor. She moved in next door just three months ago, the moment that I knock on her door to give her a simple welcoming gift and heard her voice I knew that she will be a good friend to me. Jiyong is always thankful to her cause she always keeps me company whenever he's running late from work. "Unnie!!!" I laughed hearing her irritated voice, I know she hates waiting. 

"I'm here!" I smiled brightly at her as soon as I open the front door and I giggled as I imagined her rolling her eyes on me or maybe she is already pouting at this very moment. 

"Aigoo...unnie what took you so long? We're gonna be late on your appointment" She whined as she reached for my hand to guide me out of my apartment. I pushed her away gently and I could already imagine her frowning at me "Unnieee..." She whined some more. She already knows what I wanted to do. 

"I can do this Minzy...look I even brought my stick with me" I told her, raising the stick in my hand and showed it her. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the help Minzy is giving me, most especially how Jiyong takes care of me, but once in a while I wanted to do things on my own because Jiyong just won't let me do things alone even if  I know myself that I can. I only lost my eyes but I still have two feet and two hands.  

"Arasseo...but be careful unnie...the last time you did this, you walk into a glass wall and Jiyong-oppa almost killed me when he saw the bump in your forehead"

I chuckled lightly as my mind drifted to that incident, I could still remember how Jiyong shouted at Minzy and Minzy's trembling voice, I sighed, a pout started to form in my lips. "Okay fine...here..." I said, hooking my arms in her arms, letting her guide me.

==========

The touch of gold with a little hint of yellow and orange paints the sky as I imagined them to be. A perfect day for a perfect beginning of the night. Beauty of nature had shown for those who could see. Music plays by the autumn breeze.

I breathe in the scent of autumn, along the refreshing air. Not wanting to miss the beautiful sunset, it is probably a magical sight, I imagined in my head. I tilt my head back and close my eyes.

And sigh. 

My desperate attempt to push away the nagging feeling deep inside me. I was waiting for Jiyong earlier, I was excited, eventhough I couldn't see I knew that I did a great job prepping myself for this special night, and then I recieved a call from him, he said he was going to be late and all of a sudden I felt a heaviness in my heart. 

I was upset. 

And I know I shouldn't be. 

But I felt it and it scared me. 

I felt like I was back again to our past, with Jiyong doing his own thing and me clinging on to him for dear life, it was a painful feeling and it scared me to death. 

The pain brought me back to the old me, the one who forgot who she is, the one who gave her everything for the man she loves and was taken for granted, the girl who lost herself because she loves too much. 

The memory of the past played in my mind, the fights, my pain, my cries, the night of my accident, it all came back to me and I got really scared. 

I can't be the same girl over again. 

My demon.

I thought I had it buried deep down inside me but to my surprise, it was still there, it was still in me all this time. 

My body stiffened when I heard the door creaked. The scent of Jiyong's perfume filled my nose along with something sweet. I knew that scent. It is my favorite flower. 

"Baby, I'm sorry I'm late..there was a problem with the flowers I ordered so I have to run around town to look for your favorite. Here, Happy Anniversary baby" Jiyong handed me the flowers and gave me a peck on my cheeks, I felt my chest tightened, I could hear the excitement on his voice. I know he is smiling from ear to ear. 

Pain strucks my heart as realization hit me. 

I am still broken.