The Storm Continues....

"Her head hit the windshield really hard"

Jiyong nodded his head absentmindedly as he tried to process everything that the doctor is saying to him about Dara's condition. He was feeling really tired, both physically and emotionally, the commotion he did in the hospital hours ago when he arrived didn't help as well. 

He came to the hospital where the ambulance brought Dara, when he came in, he was greeted by people running everywhere, too busy to noticed his presence, he tried to inquire for her whereabouts but no one seemed to care, he even tried using his name but for some reason no one recognized him and they will accommodate him first, and it pisses him more, not only was he feeling worried and guilty about Dara, frustrated of wanting to get to Dara as soon as possible but he couldn't as he doesn't know where he will go, the people wearing scrubs and or whatever it is that thing the majority is wearing just have to crash his ego. 

He completely lost it and the next thing he knew his voice boomed inside the hospital, his angry shout startled everyone and looked at him with judging eyes, like he had just done the most disrespectful thing a person could've ever done. But he didn't care, all that matters is for him to get to Dara. 

And now he found himself, staring into nothingness in the hallway, listening to the doctor who attended Dara of her condition, and boy, he had never felt this scared in his lifetime. 

"The glass fragments pierced her skull and was embedded in her brain tissues,the good news is we successfully removed the broken glasses but the swelling of her brains remains..."

Jiyong looked deep in the doctor's eyes, obviously, if there was a good news, there will be a bad news. 

"And the bad news is?" 

The doctor looked at him solemnly before letting out a sigh "The bad news is, because of the swelling of her brains, there is a fifty-fifty chance she will fall into a coma...depending on her progress"

Jiyong felt that his life was out of him upon hearing the doctor. He felt his knees weakened, his stomach knotted painfully, and his chest felt like its been punched hard. Subconciously, he leaned against the wall to support himself from standing, taking a deep breath, he looked at the doctor once again, and he swear, the looked on the doctor's face is something that will give him a nightmare in the near future. 

"I-Is there anything else doctor?" He carefully asked. His fingers curled into a fist. Praying that the doctor will shake his head and will tell him that's all. But the doctor gave away, the exact opposite, because the moment the doctor looked at him with pitiful eyes, he already knew. 

"Glass fragments penetrated her eyes, damaging her cornea, with that being said, there is a higher chance that she will become blind...permanently...if only the airbag of her car didn't malfunctioned, her condition won't be as critical right now..."  

==========

Jiyong stared into nothingness, he had never been helpless in his entire existence. His heart is constricting in pain, the words that came from the doctor played in his mind over and over again. Dara didn't deserve any of these, she didn't do anything to deserve to be like this...because of his mistake...

He snapped from his reverie when he smelled the delicious aroma of coffee, he looked up and found a woman standing in front of him with a gentle smile on her face, offering him a cup of coffee. He smiled apologetically as he recognized the woman, it was the nurse down in the lobby earlier. He shyly reached for the coffee from her hand, at the corner of his eyes, he saw the woman took a seat next to him. 

"How is she? The girl from the car crash.." The woman asked. "Your girlfriend..how is she?" 

"How did you know she's my girlfriend?" He asked and the woman just smiled at him.

"I recognized her, you are G-Dragon right? The music producer? I saw you with her one time, my daughter was very fond of you, I often see her read articles about you..." 

"But earlier, I thought no one recognized me..." 

The woman chuckled lightly "Of course they do, maybe some of them were a fan of yours, but here, in this place, saving lives is our priority...famous or not, in this place, they are all in the same level...when we took this job, we vowed to set aside our own happiness for the sake of others, for the happiness of others, for the life of others. Every minute, every second is important in this place, one move can save or kill a life, everything can change in just one decision..."

Jiyong smiled bitterly, completely understanding the woman. The words of the doctor once again played in his mind. It bothered him so much, and he wondered, if Dara's fate will really change if he listened to her that one time. "Doctor Ahn said Dara might fell into a coma..."He started to speak "he also said she also might get blind..." 

He felt a hand squeezed his shoulder and he gave the nurse a gentle but sad smile "Do you think if my girlfriend's airbag is in good condition, the outcome of her accident will lessen the impact?" 

"Maybe..." 

Jiyong nodded his head and took a deep breath "You know two days ago my girlfriend complained that air bag to me..." He felt a tightening of his chest "but of course, I was too busy to listen her...so I wasn't able to fix it for her and this evening..before the accident, we had a fight, she broke up with me, and I let her leave despite the heavy rain, I let her step out of my door..." He looked up at the ceiling, for hope that the tears that is forming in the corner of his eyes will not fall. "I--I don't even know her parents of if she has one, I've never bothered to asked her before...I'm such a terrible person.." He felt sick. It was true, he never met Dara's family, thinking about it now, he doesn't know anything about Dara, except for the fact that she came from Busan together with her bestfriends Chaerin and Bom, it never occured in his mind to ask her about them, or maybe he was too preoccupied of reaching for his dream, he was too preoccupied of just thinking of himself. What a selfish bastard he is! 

And just like that, his time with Dara played in his mind, her twinkling eyes, her bright smile, her tears, her dejected face whenever he did something, the way Dara force a smile for him even though she was hurting, the times when he's not with her when she needed him the most, everything, her sacrifices, the way she takes care of him, cooks him breakfast, lunch and dinner, only to be neglected becuase he was too busy or too tired to eat... 

He felt like throwing up, realizing how terrible he is to her, he can't imagine the pain Dara had gone through, he's the only one Dara has, she had sacrificed for her so much and he neglected her, then the image of Dara came into life, her hopeful eyes when she looked back at him before leaving his apartment, its like asking him to come and stop her from taking a step out of his door, to not let her go, but he didn't. 

He let her be...

Neglected her once again...

And now, Dara was paying the price, instead of him. 

=========

One month...

For one month Jiyong sat beside her bed , unmoving. Just him, staring at her face, watching her calm face, by now, the bruises, scratches and wounds she had recieved in the car crash are starting to heal. He let out a sigh, he had just recieved a call from the passenger of the other car, asking about Dara's condition. Unfortunately, Dara was the one at fault with the car crash, she must've been occupied by the break up that she didn't noticed that she did a wrong turn, she was supposed to turn right but instead she turned left.

But although the other victim is not really at fault, he obliged himself to help with Dara's finances, not that he's not capable, but he let him be, maybe it's the guy's way of lessening his guilt with what had occured, he couldn't care less, Dara was more important to him.  

He reached for her hand and entangled his fingers on hers "Jagiya....I have  great news for you..." He started to speak to her, from a distance he might looked like an idiot talking with someone who is asleep but not to him, at the back of his mind, he knows Dara could hear him, that she could feel him, that she knows that he's with her. "I get to speak to Chaerin and Bom and they said they are on their way back to Seoul, isn't it great?" He asked her, his eyes lingered on her pretty face, with a slight hope that she'll give him any form of response, but her eyes remained close, the only indication that she's still alive is the faint movement of her chest, he smiled to himself, ignoring that fact. Jiyong doesn't want to feel any sadness nor negativity, he was afraid that Dara, eventhough she's in a coma will feel it, so as much as possible he was trying to entertain such feelings. "I also get to meet your parents jagiya...they were here earlier but I told them to get some rest in my apartment, your friends Bom and Chaerin gave me a hard time by the way, and I'm sure I'll get a good beating from them once they get here" He chuckled, he wasn't joking when he said that, he just knew, he could feel the hatred on both of Dara's friends when he called them to inform them of what happened and to ask them about Dara's family. "They were not mad at me because you got into an accident though, they were mad at me because I hurt you..."

"Jagiya...I miss you....please come back to me..." Jiyong placed her palm on his cheek, feeling her heat against his skin and he let out a sighed, amused that a simple touch from Dara can make him at ease, warming his heart in the process. "I love you so much Dara..." He said placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

Jiyong sat there in silence, just holding on to Dara's hand, never letting it go. His mind wandered about Dara's future. Will she ever wake up? If she did, will everything be back to normal? He doesn't know. The possibility of Dara being blind is still high. "Dara...be strong neh?" He spoke again "just remember, I will always be beside you...no matter what happens, I will be here for you..."

He felt himself tearing up, his lips quivered as he continue to speak to her, but he stopped when his voice started to shake, no, he won't let Dara hear him, he won't let her know how he's becoming weak again, for the past ten days that he was here, never once did he cry inside her room, even though Dara can't see him, he doesn't want her to feel any form of sadness in her room. He only wanted Dara to hear laughter and feel happiness in her surroundings. "I'll be back..." He whispered to her before kissing her forehead. He walked quietly towards the door and as he closed the door behind him, he let himself be weak and cry, there, alone in the hallway, was a weak Jiyong weeping, full of regret, pain and longing.

Jiyong continued to cry his eyes out not until he heard her voice.

Dara's voice.

==========

"Dara...." I was staring into nothingness when I heard Jiyong's voice. But I remained silent. I do not have the strength to do anything, not even open my mouth to speak. How would you feel knowing that you were in a coma for a month only to wake up blind? I sometimes ask the heavens why such things happened to me? What did  I do to deserve something like this? Was it my punishment for turning my back on the dream that I made with my friends? Because I say now, that if its like that, then life is unfair to me. "Dara...."

Jiyong called me once again, I let out a sigh and turn my head in his direction, that is if I'm correct that the direction of my head is where he is standing. "Why are you here?" I weakly said. I want to laugh at myself, since I woke up and regained my composure that's the only thing that I've been asking him, as far as I know we already broke up the night of my accident, I do not blame him for it, happens, I understand that, so I don't see the need for him to be here with me. Was it because he feels guilty? Maybe...but then no one is to blame for what happened to me...its just me, myself and I. I was the one who is not paying attention at the road that night. 

"Why do you keep on asking me that question?" He asked me and I could hint a pain in his voice. Well, I am in pain too.... 

"Becuase you don't need to be here...you don't have to..."

"I did this to you Dara...." He said cutting me off. 

"No...I did this to myself...I wasn't careful.. I got myself into an accident and got myself blind...you have nothing to do with it..." I told him. I don't know why I'm so opposed with him being here with me. I should be happy, cause finally, he's giving me all the attention and care that I wanted from him....but in return...I lost my sight, the accident stole one month of my life jeopardizing my future. Is that all worth it? If I was in a different situation, I would say that the heavens took my want to be treated special literally. 

Because right now...I am one. 

Blind...

Disabled...

Incapable...

Silence enveloped us, no one dared to speak but I know Jiyong is just sitting near me as I could feel my favorite scent on him. I sighed, this thing where all I can see is pure darkness is killing me, what's the used of opening up my eyes or closing my eyelids if all I can see is just the same? Black and nothing more.  

But you know what hurts me more? Its when the minute I walked out of Jiyong's apartment that night, I was all set to picked up the pieces of myself that I got lost in my journey with him. I was ready to start anew and bring back the old Dara that I used to be before I met him, the carefree one, the bright Dara, the dreamer Dara, the one who will stop at nothing to achieve her goal, and most of all, the independent Dara...

Don't get me wrong...I didn't regret meeting Jiyong...never once will I regret falling in love with him...and you know what, to tell you  honestly...I still love him...but that day..I chose to move on and leave him behind because our situation is ruining the both of us, i wanted to save whatever that is left on us...but then...the accident happen. 

Now...I don't know what I'm going to do or where will I go...maybe I'll just go back to Busan with my parents and let them take care of me for the rest of their lives but then, that is not the kind of life that I've wanted for myself. 

That thought made me upset and I could feel the tears forming in the corner of my eyes. I shut my eyes to prevent them. I don't want JIyong to see how pathetic I am. 

Suddenly..I felt his familiar warmth against my skin...his touch that always warms my heart, he was hugging me and that did it. I let out a painful cry, sobbing on his chest, I do not care how pitiful I look. Right now, I wanted to embrace and wallow my pitiful state, I wanted to let out the pain that this world that has caused me, the part with my relationship with Jiyong included. 

And once again. 

I'm asking the heavens...

"Why? Why me? Of all people..why me? I've done nothing wrong...I'm a giver...Everything I have I always give to those who needs them...for them to be happy..I've never been selfish... so I don't get why the heavens wants to steal something from me and  leave me with nothing....I just want my life back, or at least live the life that was left in me when I ended things with Jiyong....why you have to be so cruel and take that little life away from me too?"