“Cut! Thanks for the good work Nichkhun and Victoria!” the director yelled to break the silence that surrounded the large room. For a moment, it seemed like we were the only two people on the 63^rd floor. The room was silent and motionless as we continued to hold our tears in, avoiding each other’s gazes but stealing glances. As we both snapped back into reality and wiped our tears, the crew began to thaw, slowly clapping and eventually cheering and exchanging thanks to each other. The two of us stood up slowly and bowed to the crew as we smiled and thanked them before exchanging an awkward slow high-five, hands lingering a little longer beyond the usual friendly high-five.

            His expression was blank as we let go of each other’s hands. Our managers approached us slowly, handing us our jackets and exchanging casual words, as I stand there, unable to hear the conversation as the past year flashes quickly in my mind. I don’t know what word to use to describe what I was feeling, but whatever it was sat at my throat and made me want to cry. Wasn’t it always like this though, when filming ended? As actors and idols, we are trained to switch our emotions on and off as filming ends and another one begins. Much like characters in a book, we often don’t get to meet once the book runs out of pages, unless of course, the author decides to write a sequel. A sequel, however, was definitely out of the question for us though, since being busy was the main reason for the end of this virtual marriage.

Virtual. There’s the word I hated the most. Nothing from the past year and a half felt virtual at all. It wasn’t as if we were two actors in a scripted drama, with our emotions and actions controlled by feelings written by someone else. It would be a lot easier if this were all scripted. A gentle tap on my shoulder woke me from my dazing.

“Let’s go, you must be tired.” my manager said as we headed towards the elevator.

“Thanks for taking care of me and Nichkhun for the past year!” I bowed to the crew as they scurried around cleaning up. “And thanks for being such a wonderful husband” I said to quietly to Nichkhun. Husband. That word stung too as I forced him a small smile.

“You were the best wife.” Nichkhun said as he fixed my bangs out of habit. He smiled at me. I couldn’t tell if he was upset at all, and it made the weight in my heart even heavier.

“What did you expect?” I thought to myself, mentally beating myself up for being so stupid and thinking there was something more between the two of us. He was a nice and caring guy to everyone, it was a known fact, and I’m sure I’m not the first girl to fall for his charms. It’s really nice though, to have been able to call him my “husband”. It was like I was actually someone important in his life, and more than just a friend and co-worker.

“I’ll see you around. Be good!” I said, locking eyes with him for one last time.

“Take care, it’s cold outside” He said as he handed me his scarf.

I was taken back for a second, looking around to see if anyone realized. Thankfully everyone was busy packing up, otherwise it would have been an awkward moment for everyone.

“You don’t have to do this anymore, you know.” I said. In hindsight, I probably should have just stayed silent and thanked him. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it, I mean I had to try my best not to embrace him then and there. I was just so confused. What was he doing? Didn’t he understand that we’re no longer married?

“I know, but I want to. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the chance to take care of you again.” He said, with a hint of sadness as he looked down and scuffed his converses around. He looked so cute, standing there with his ears flushing red. It always makes me smile to know that he still gets embarrassed when he does something cute. If only this was all real, I’d be the luckiest girl in the world.

“Thanks Nichkhun, I really appreciate it. Thanks for being so good to me.” I sighed before waving a small goodbye to him and headed toward the elevator.

“Nichkhun, we’ve got to go! You have a schedule in an hour!” his manager, Minjae said, pulling him into the elevator.

“Arasso hyung. I’m coming!” Nichkhun said as he waved back, smiling at me for one last time before the elevator doors closed.

“Victoria let’s head out too.” Manager hyung said. As the door closed, I watched the numbers slowly descend in silence, trying hard to hold back my tears.

“It’s okay to cry.” Manager oppa said, half jokingly. The infamous “Khuntoria couple” line… how can I forget. Tears rolled down my face slowly as we reached the parking lot. I’ve never been the one to cry in front of people. Being an only child and “Umma” of f(x), I never allowed myself to show my weakness to others.

“Oh, I forgot something upstairs. You head to the car first.” manager oppa said as he threw me the keys.

“Deh…” I said absent-mindedly. As I approached our car, a familiar silhouette appeared by the door. “I must be dreaming…” I told myself. There was no way he’d be here. I walked cautiously towards the car, in hopes to savage whatever bit of Nichkhun memory I had left, even though it might all be imaginary.

“Oh, Nichkhun oppa…? What are you doing here?” I said, as he opened the door of the company van for me. “I’m not dreaming, right?” I asked, as I waved my hand in his face.

“Yah, pabo. Of course you’re not dreaming! Have you been dreaming about me?” he joked, nudging me a little before fixing my bangs again. I’m going to miss him doing that so much. “I came to say a proper goodbye and give you something.” He said, when he saw me look at him wide-eyed and confused.

“But where’s Minjae hyung? I thought you had a schedule?” I asked, scanning the parking lot for paparazzi.

“I do have a schedule, but there are more important things. There’s no one here, don’t worry. I told him I had to come say goodbye so he said he’d come get me in 10 minutes. I told the same to your manager.” He said, taking his scarf from my hand and wrapping it around my neck. “I told you to stay warm!”

“I haven’t even left the parking lot yet!” I argued.

“If you get sick I’m going to be really worried.” He said, holding my hands. “Have you been crying?” he asked, his face coming closer to mine.

“Ani, I promised to leave happily, didn’t I?” I said, moving my hands to cover my face. I love and hate how much he knows me, there’s no point in lying to him.

“It’s okay to cry,” he said, half smirking as he held my hands again, “crying only means you cared about me as much as I cared about you.” He said sincerely.

My heart suddenly fluttered like I was having a heart attack. Why was he saying all these things to me? He’s not going to propose to me here and now, is he?

“Don’t worry, I’m not here to ask you to run away with me.” How does he always know what I’m thinking?! “I’m here to give you this…” he trailed off and brought out a small box nicely wrapped in Royal Navy wrapping.

“What is it?” I asked, holding it to my ear and shaking it.

“Open it later and you’ll find out.” He said mysteriously. “Oh, I also came to give you this…” He held my face gently, giving me a peck on the lips, his soft lips lingering as we smiled into our first official first kiss as a divorced couple. “I’m going to miss this the most,” he joked, “but hyung is here and I have to go. Don’t peek till I leave, arasso? I’ll see you later.” He said, giving me a kiss on the forehead before fixing my bangs one last time.

My mouth hung open in awe as I watched him drive away and a slyly smiling hyung approached.

“Did you see Nichkhun?” oppa asked rhetorically.

“Why are you asking if you were a part of this whole surprise?” I asked, pretending to be angry. “Aren’t you supposed to discourage any kind of flirting between co-stars?”

“It’s hard when Nichkhun asks you with his puppy dog eyes. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.” He smiled. “I’ll take you home now, you have the day off tomorrow so rest up, but you have to go back to We Got Married for your last black room recording the day after that. I’ll message you the schedules when I confirm them.”

“Thanks oppa, for everything.”

I sat silently in the back on the way home, holding the box tightly in the dim car. It seemed like it took an eternity to get home, but once I did, it took me a second to say goodbye before running into the house, ready to kick open the door and open up this gift.