Hyoyeon

I hastily crossed the busy intersection before the light turned green, ignoring the angry honks of various drivers. At that moment, potentially getting run over was the least of my problems.

It’s been a habit of mine, ever since elementary school, to sprint back home as soon as school lets out. People have always asked me why or teased me about it- only a few trusted friends know that it’s because I’m so afraid that one day I might come home, find my drunk father lying by the curb and our home taken away from us because Dad pushed his luck too far.

In truth, it’s not so much that I’m attached to the old apartment flat- I’m much more worried about where we would go. Despite that he’s improved significantly over the years, Dad has little to no savings left- and the job he currently has is not enough to find a place for two people to live. Should I have to work, I would have to drop out of high school- and that would mean breaking the promise I made to my uncle before he died four years ago. And that is absolutely out of the question.

My mom ditched us when I was eight and I have no idea where she is now so there’s no counting on her. The only other surviving family member is my aunt, Dad’s sister-in-law and my late uncle’s wife, but she has made it clear on many occasions that she is not interested in looking after me.

So when it comes down to it, my dad is the only family I have to stick to. This fear of losing everything is what drives me to come straight home almost every day after school so I can keep an eye on my dad- and it is why I rarely go out into the city to have fun with friends.

 When I reached the condo, I didn’t see Dad passed out on the side of a wall. So far, so good, I thought, taking unconscious note of the Audi parked by the curb, unlocking the front door and stepping into the room.

I felt myself tense when I heard other voices besides my father’s drift in from the kitchen. A variety of people often drop by to visit my dad- most of them are shady losers that reek of alcohol and cigarette smoke. I’ve had more unpleasant encounters with Dad’s visitors than I would care to name.

Staying totally silent, I crept to the side of the kitchen’s entryway. Two men with hulking figures dressed in three piece suits towered over my dad- totally different from the normal drug-pushers I was used to seeing.

“…our boss Lee Taehyoon gets very…agitated, so to speak, when his fellow players don’t pay their dues. So since you don’t have the money you owe him, you have two choices: give us this place and anything else that will add up to the cost of your debt or…” The man cracked his knuckles and my dad flinched.

I felt my heart drop. This can’t be happening…right…? I walked into the kitchen.

“Dad…what is this…did you...” I stopped, closing my eyes. There was nothing else I could do other than beat myself for not having seen it sooner. “It makes sense now- no wonder you came home so late last night, you were out gambling even though you promised me you stopped for good…”

“Hyoyeon…I’m sorry…” said my father meekly, looking to me…as if he was expecting me to help in out in this situation.

I snapped. “You goddamned bastard!!” I screamed, charging over and grabbing my dad by the collar. “All these years of worrying, all those stupid worthless promises…they’ve all been wasted because of you!!”

“Actually…” the other man spoke up. “We will provide you a third option. Mr. Lee Taehyoon has a taste for young, high school girls and…well, even though she’s not the prettiest one in the batch, he will understand and drop all the charges should you offer him your daughter.” I turned around in shock and to my horror, both men were leering at me with erse expressions.

My father stuttered,“…Well…” That was enough to tell me that my father would be willing to sell me out, his own flesh and blood daughter, just to pay off his debts. I did the only thing I could think of that could possibly save myself: I ran.  

Remember when I said that I used to sprint back home every day from school? I wasn’t just exaggerating- I literally used to sprint like a track runner back home. That, coupled with daily workouts in dance sessions, put me in pretty good shape in terms of outrunning those two men.

However, it wasn’t too long before they finally realized that an automobile would better chase down a person and I heard the loud revving of the Audi that had been parked outside the condo. Swearing under my breath, I picked up the pace and took an abrupt turn into a neighborhood.

As the various apartment flats and condos flashed by me in a blur, a strange, overpowering sense of déjà vu washed over me. Slowly, I began to remember how back in my childhood, every time my dad got drunk, every time the memories of my mom's departure became too much to bear, I used to run down this road to a certain house...

…and as soon as I lost my focus, I felt my foot slip out from under me and the ground rush towards me. The force of the impact with my head and the pavement scattered any thoughts I might have had and the darkness began to grow rapidly in my vision.

This is it for me… I thought as my consciousness slipped away and I out.

I had to blink my eyes several times in order to take in my surroundings. I was laying on a couch with a bag of ice resting on my head. There was something about the furniture and the layout of the room that seemed so familiar to me, but the throbbing in my head prevented me from really concentrating on anything.

“…so she should be alright as long as she gets plenty of rest? All right, thank you, Doctor.” A familiar woman with long brown hair and several piercings ended her conversation, hung up the phone and approached me, a sympathetic look on her face.

“Eunkyung-unnie?”

“Hi sweetie, long time no see- that was a pretty hard knock on the head you took. You had a slight concussion but the doctor says you should be fine as long as you take it easy there,” she explained.

“Wait, if you’re here…that means…”

“Yup- you’re at my house, Hyo.” Hyukjae appeared in the room and I stared at him in shock. Eunkyung sensed the awkward tension building up in the air and said amusedly, “Why don’t you two have some reconnection time while I make stew for Hyoyeon?”

There was a stifling moment of silence before I asked, “…How did I get here?”

“Donghae was just leaving my house when he found you passed out on the sidewalk. He was pretty sure you had run off from home like you used to since you always used this route to get to my house so he brought you here,” he told me, a smile playing on his lips. “You took a pretty nasty fall there- you're lucky my sister has some first aid training…”

“…I’m sorry, I have to get out of here,” I said, easing my way off the couch when all of a sudden, Hyukjae pushed me back on the couch forcefully and pinned me there.

“No you’re not,” he said, a steely glint in his eyes. “I know how uncomfortable you are, but you keep your damned self put. When you’ve fully recovered, then we’ll talk.” I was startled, but determined not to show it so I glared at him. He sighed and joined Eunkyung-unnie in the kitchen. I fell back on the couch, thinking of how strange it was to be back at an essential part of my childhood.

Sunny

I waited patiently in the girls’ bathroom, biding my time until the animated chatter of students died down into more or less of a silence. When all was quiet, I cautiously stepped out, saw that no one was around and walked into the hallway.

Normally I would be amongst the first to disappear into the sea of navy blue, students anxiously pushing and shoving each other to get out of school. However, my teacher forced me to stay after the bell, scolding me on how I was a disturbance in the class because a few boys decided to chuck crumpled up wads of paper at my head. Since many of the bullies tend to linger at the school longer than most in search of victims, I hid out of their sight, not willing to bring myself more trouble than I already have.

A girl with long, light brown hair was rushing down the hallway. When she passed me by, I heard something clatter onto the floor- she didn’t seem to notice since she was in such a hurry. It was a plastic pink pencil case, the kind you can easily get from a small convenience store. I picked it up and called out to her, “Excuse me! You dropped this!”

The girl turned around and when she saw the pencil case I held in my hand, she let out a huge gasp of relief. “Oh my goodness, thank you so much!” She approached me and, now that I think about it, I kind of knew her. I didn't remember her name but I knew that she was a senior, like me, and she started this girls’ dance group recently. I’ve heard cruel insults about her appearance whispered in the hallways, but honestly, I found her to be pretty in her own respective way.

“Here,” I said, handing her the pencil case. She hurriedly tucked it away in her bag and thanked me profusely.

“No really, thank you so much- it’s kind of stupid, but this thing…it means a lot to me. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost it.” She looked away, slightly embarrassed.

I shook my head and said, “No, no, I get it. It’s important to you so you wouldn’t want to lose it. It’s nothing to be ashamed about.” I offered her a smile which she returned.

“I really have to go now but…thank you once again!” She then took off, leaving me alone once again.

I checked my watch and decided that I should probably head home as well. I managed to exit the school building without being apprehended by anyone so I began to relax my tense muscles.

“Hey look- it’s that !” Fear froze my heart as I saw the familiar crowd of bullies, both guys and girls, heading my way. Blood rushed to my head and my fight-or-flight instincts started running on overtime. I bolted.

It was amongst the more stupider mistakes of my life. How I thought I could outrun such a crowd, I don’t know. In any case, they caught up to me in no time and pushed me onto the pavement. Two boys held me down while the rest of them circled around.

“What should we do with her?”

“Let me have a go at her- I wanna see if what they say about her is really true.”

“No, no- not just yet. I have an idea- I got this from seeing Hyung beat up that from last year. Yah- get me my bag.”

“Shouldn’t we move her further away? She might yell for help…” I closed my eyes and thought: No…you’re wrong. I won’t call for help, since there’s nobody around who cares anymore…

Suddenly, a searing pain shot up wrist. I screamed and struggled to get free, but a hand forced my head back onto the ground- so hard that it rattled my brain and I drifted into unconsciousness. The last thing I remembered was hurting so much that I truly wished I could die and the smell of my own blood wafting into my nose.

When I first opened my eyes, a white light glared down, momentarily blinding me. Am I…am I dead? I wondered. But then, after shifting slightly, I realized that I lying in a cot and that I was in the nurse’s office.

Sitting in a chair right by my side was none other than Sungmin who was staring at me intently. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that I had awoken. “Good…they didn’t knock you into a coma…” he muttered.

“You…you saved me…?” I whispered.

“Hey- I was paying you back the favor for the other day,” he explained. “They all took off before I could really do anything. Well…not like whatever I said against them would have mattered…” He looked to the side ruefully and I completely understood what he meant. Both of us knew only too well what it was like to be an outcast.

"...Where's the nurse?" I asked

"She...well, she was about to leave when I brought you in, so she wasn't too happy with having to stay here longer. But she was pretty concerned when she saw that you were unconscious and bleeding, so she's still here...I...I helped dress your wound and everything so..." 

Multiple sharp aches coursed through my right wrist. I then remembered what had happened before I had lost consciousness. Curious, I began unwrapping the bandages.

“Oh no, no don’t do that…!” Sungmin warned. But it was too late. My eyes had already taken in the irreversible damage the bullies had inflicted on my body and my being.

Etched into my bleeding flesh, right below my wrist, was the word “”.

I couldn’t look away from the branding and tears began to well in my eyes. Feelings of worthlessness and despair washed over me. That’s all I am. A dirty, worthless .

I felt so ashamed to be alive.

Just then, I felt a warm hand tightly grasp mine. I looked up and Sungmin was giving me a look of empathy and total understanding. Then, I noticed that his wrist bore a similar scar, though faded, that said in large, capital letters: “”.

“Hey,” I sniffled. “…We have matching scars.” Sungmin grimaced and re-bandaged my wrist.

“Get some rest,” he suggested gently. “I’ll be here for as long as I can. The nurse will be back in a minute to take care of you as well.”

I stared at him questioningly. “…Why are you doing all of this for me?”

Sungmin hesitated before answering, “I think it’s time we realized that, as outcasts, we should stay together.” His words touched my heart, and before I could say anything else, the tears fell again and I leaned into chest for support. He seemed shocked at first but then simply let me stay there, in his arms.

Seohyun

“Hyunnie, how do you like the fettucine alfredo?” Yonghwa-oppa asked.

“I love it, Oppa,” I said, savoring every bite of the flavorful pasta. He smiled and picked up a forkful of the cheese-drizzled pasta. With excitement, I thought he was going to put it in his mouth and then feed it to me mouth to mouth…but instead, he slid it in my mouth and poked my nose, just like he always does.

I did the best I could not to pout. Even though Yonghwa-oppa displays his affections for me, he is too much of a gentleman to do that.

In fact, as much as I love Yonghwa-oppa and our near perfect dates…it’s starting to get a bit too routine. Every single time we go to this restaurant, he orders the same pasta that I love. Every time we’re together, we talk about the same things. We display our love through the same gestures that usually always makes my heart flutter. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But…

I sometimes wish Yonghwa would surprise me or tell me something intimate that he wouldn’t tell anyone else.

After dinner, Yonghwa-oppa told me that we were going somewhere else other than the movies or the park like we normally do on dates. When I asked him where, he simply smiled and said, “It’s a surprise.” I immediately felt guilty for thinking that Oppa was incapable of surprising me.

He took my hand and led me down several blocks before we stopped at lit, lively street corner that was filled with artists creating on the spot masterpieces for the crowds of people passing by. We marveled at the different artists wielding Copic markers, pens, pieces of coal and quickly making broad, almost careless to eventually form amazing pieces of art.

Yonghwa-oppa directed me towards the end of the long line of artists to a lone stand where an artist was making beautiful pen sketches for sale. We stood in front of the tall easel for a while until the artist finally looked up.

I felt my heart jump as I recognized him immediately.

“Hey there, Kyuhyun! Did you get my text saying that we were coming to visit today?” Yonghwa-oppa asked cordially, patting the boy from the other day on the back. Kyuhyun looked up from his canvas board and gave a strange look at the hand on his back, then shifted his gaze towards me.  

“I did but…you never mentioned anything about bringing your girlfriend along.”

“Really? Well, that’s kind of why we’re here. I want you…” Yonghwa-oppa put a loving arm around my waist and in a way, presented me to the artist. “…to do sketch of my beautiful Hyunnie here.” Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow at us and I stiffened with embarrassment at Yonghwa-oppa’s request.  

I mean, I was flattered by Yonghwa-oppa’s surprise but...it was still somewhat embarrassing. And the way Kyuhyun’s attention was so fixated on me was slightly unnerving.

He was silent for a few moments, pondering over something. “All right, you know what- I’ll do this one free of charge. Just for my buddy Yonghwa,” Kyuhyun suddenly announced, though he kept his eyes on me.

“Really? Are you sure? I mean, don’t you do this for a business…?” Yonghwa-oppa questioned him, but Kyuhyun simply waved a dismissive hand.

As I sat on the stool, waiting patiently for him to set up his supplies, I couldn’t help but observe him as subtly as I could. He looked much more rugged compared to when I last saw him at school- he wore a gray T-shirt promoting some metal band with baggy, ripped jeans. His long, shaggy, unkempt hair, normally swept back in order to avoid scolding from the teachers, curled by the sides of his face and almost covered his eyes. A cigarette dangled from the edge of his mouth, the smoke causing my eyes to water slightly.

But, in the strangest of ways, he was captivating to look at. Mainly because I’ve never really interacted with people like him- in fact, carefree “drug-pusher slackers” as my parents put it were the very people I’ve been told to stay away from all my life. The curiosity of his background, his life story, was starting to grow on me.

Suddenly, I felt him firmly grasp my chin and make me face him. My cheeks burned as he studied me up close with intense concentration. A strange, tightening sensation of enormous intensity spread throughout my stomach- something I had never quite felt before, as those sharp, dark eyes met with mine.

Finally, he released his hand from my face and, grunting, went to work on the piece.  

After Oppa gave me a goodnight kiss and dropped me off, I arrived back to an empty home, which wasn’t all that surprising- Mom and Dad often work late on Saturday nights. Anyway, it was for the better that they weren’t home, for no one questioned me when I dashed straight up to my room, locked the door behind me and took out the picture from my bag and stared at it for a good fifteen minutes.

The detail of the piece was simply amazing. It was almost as if I was looking through a mirror and my identical reflection was staring right back. I could feel my cheeks grow hot again as I thought of all the intense stares he had given me and wondered if it meant something if he managed to capture almost my exact likeness on paper.

As I ran my fingers over the smooth canvas, a marking next to what was drawn as my neck caught my eye. I squinted closely and realized that it was a tiny Hangul character, deceptively written within the pen marks of the piece: “또” Intrigued, I searched the rest of the piece to see if there were other characters- sure enough, I found one within the patterns of the shirt (나), one hidden right outside the iris of the eye (요) and another between two strands of hair (만).

I gasped when I discovered that the characters, when combined in the correct order, were supposed to spell: “또만나요” .

“Tto mannayo.”

“Let’s meet again.”

Quickly, I threw the picture to the other side of my room and curled up on my bed, completely unsure as to what my feelings were doing.

 ----

A/N: Cee-Cee finally updated somewhat quicker than last time! whoot! ^^ but school's starting soon so...i guess we'll see :/

not sure if any of you noticed, but for this particular chapter, i kind of borrowed some concepts from other stories, especially writing Sunny's part. <--like when "" was carved into her arm? got that from harry potter, when bellatrix wrote "mudblood" on hermione's arm. i feel bad for both of them D': 

btw- can anyone tell me for sure if that's the correct korean for "let's meet again"? i used google translate so.... >_>

i've passed the 100 subscriber mark? NO WAY. alskdjfaldkfjaldfjdslk

i love all of you. no really. i don't have sufficient words to describe how much i adore every single one of you for reading so far, even with my inconsistent posting. thank you so so much. ;_____; 

that's all for now! hwaiting~!