Hyoyeon

When I came back to the apartment flat one evening after a group dance session, Eunkyung was standing in front of the mirror applying make-up. “Oh good, you’re back- I’m just about to leave for work,” she said, giving her lips a quick coating of lipstick.

Once a week, Eunkyung works part-time night shifts as a desk clerk for a fashion label company. I glanced at the clock and remarked, “Isn’t it a little early for you to be leaving?”

“Yeah it is, but my coworker who does thee afternoon shift left early for some engagement and I have to cover the extra hours,” she grumbled. “Dinner’s in the microwave and- oh, Hyukkie wants to talk to you later. He stressed that you wait at home for him to get back so it’s pretty important.” Without further explanation, Eunkyung stepped outside and shut the door.

I wondered what on Earth Hyukjae just had to tell me, but hunger soon overruled my curiosity.

Two hours later, as I was in my room stretching, there came a knock on my door. Sighing, I got up and opened it; Hyukjae entered without invitation.

“So I see you got my message,” he said, his tone lighthearted.

I rolled my eyes and said, “Honestly, Hyukjae, I’m not really the type to go out on my own much.” I observed him as he collapsed into a chair; he looked exhausted. “Rough practice today?” I guessed.

“Yeah- we’re preparing for a competition next week at Gunhwa. It’s gonna be a big summer opener so...oh by the way, I heard about the Hip Hop Girls being added to the summer roster- congrats.”

“Thanks,” I said grudgingly, reminded of the fact that I had to start signing my group up for competitions. There was an awkward silence; then I remembered why he was supposedly here. “So...what is it that you wanted to tell me about so badly?”

“Right...” He reached into his bag, took out a thin packet and handed it to me. As I examined it, he explained,

“The assistant principal stopped by our clubroom on the last day and gave us these- apparently, the deal was just sealed and we’re the only ones who know about this right now. They’ll be making an announcement about it the day we come back from break. I told him that you would definitely be interested as well, so he got you your own copy.”

I nodded and turned my attention back to the front page, which read:

[MEMO]: To all administrators of secondary schools in Dongjuk District:

The first ever KBS High School Youth Talent Competition will be held on the 16 of February, 20XX from 12 PM to 6 PM at Baeyoung High School of Arts. Event will be held in the auditorium. All students from secondary schools in Dongjuk District are eligible to compete: this includes Baeyoung High School of Arts, Chukhae High School, Gunhwa High School of Arts...no classes are to be held on this day...

Televised publication sponsorship by KBS...

Event will be a joint sponsorship by S.M. Entertainment, Cube Entertainment and JYP Entertainment (JYP Co. Ltd.)...

My eyes grew wider and wider as I read off the names of the entertainment companies sponsoring the event. “Is this...is this for real...?”

“Yup,” Hyukjae confirmed, grinning from ear to ear. I read and reread in stunned silence, double-checking to see that I wasn’t hallucinating.

“Holy ...how the hell did this get approved and arranged...”

Hyukjae shrugged. “Well, Baeyoung is a renowned high school of the arts and they’ve held some events in the past- but none this big or this important. Keep reading, Hyo.”

I directed my eyes back onto the page:

...Acts submitted for KBS High School Youth Talent Competition must fall into one of three categories: Dancing, Singing and Group Performance. On the day of the event, approved acts for the Dancing category will perform first, Singing second and Group Performance last...these will be judged by certified judges from listed sponsorship entertainment companies...

...There will be first, second, third and honorable mention places awarded...third place prize in either the Dancing or Singing competition is 355,500 won ($300 USD), second place prize is 711,000 won ($600 USD), and first place prize is 1,185,000 won ($1,000 USD)...depending on talent displayed, prize-winners may also be offered contracts by agents from listed sponsorship entertainment companies...

Guidelines for the Group Performance: 1) Must have approximately equal participation of members in singing and dancing. 2) Choreography must be entirely original. 3) Song must be either entirely original or a song from the list of copyright approved songs provided below with original lyrics. 4) Performances may either be sung live or lip synced to a pre-recorded track- pre-recorded track must contain vocals from all members of a group...

...First Prize Winners of the Group Performance will be awarded with 1,777,500 ($2,000 USD) and are guaranteed a contract from any of the listed sponsorship entertainment companies...

There will be a contest fee of 59,250 won ($50 USD) per student...Students are limited to participating in 2 entries per category...Number of contestants per entry is limited to 10...

Auditions for the Talent Competition will be held on the 22^nd of December, 2012...

Note: All guidelines are subject to change, but administrators will be notified prior to the implementation of such changes...

My mouth fell open as I continued skimming through the packet. “My God...this...this is...”

“...amazing, isn’t it?” Hyukjae finished for me. “It’s...a step closer to your dream, isn’t it, Hyo?” I whipped my head in his direction and shot him a look. He held up his hands and said, “Hey, you told me about it before- as well as your promise to your uncle...that, against all odds, you would finish high school, right?”

Before he died, my uncle had been the most important person in my life. He believed in me, cared for me when he could after my mom left and my dad went out drinking, gambling, wasting his life away. When I was ten and my uncle was dying of liver cancer, he had called me over to his death bed and made me promise him that I would be the first one in his family to graduate from high school.

The fact that Hyukjae still remembered things like this from so long ago aroused feelings that my doubts and distrust tried to shut down as quickly as possible. “Yeah...I did tell you that...” I said quietly, turning away from him. “I used to tell you a lot of things...not that I expect you to remember them anyway...”

“But I do remember them, Hyoyeon,” he insisted. Suddenly, he was out of the chair and kneeling in front of me, grasping my shoulders and looking me straight in the eye. “For once...why can’t you have faith in me? Why won’t you trust me? Why won’t you just give me a chance to show that I care?”

“Can you stop it, Hyukjae?!” I snapped, pushing him off of me. “Just...stop...stop trying to reconnect as if nothing’s happened. You know why I can’t trust you. So just leave me alone...!”

His face twisted and his voice became strangled. “Isn’t it about time you stopped being so stuck on the past all the time, Hyoyeon? People...people make mistakes. And they change. Sometimes for the better. But I guess you really don’t realize that, do you?”

“What about you has been better, Hyukjae? All you’ve been doing is getting on my nerves and half the time I’m scared that you’ll try and jump me!” I shot back at him, then immediately wished I could take it back immediately.

I expected Hyukjae to reply, but he only threw up his hands in annoyance. He stalked out of my room...but before he left, he turned around and said sarcastically, “Oh, and you’re welcome, by the way, for the contest packet.” Then he really left.

I sighed and whispered, “Thanks, Hyukjae...” Then I shut off the light and buried my head in the pillow.

Sunny

“Are...are you sure about this?” Sungmin asked me hesitantly. He kept shuffling around as I searched for my keys; he seemed really anxious.

“Absolutely,” I replied. “Trust me, Sungmin, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I...think you’ll like each other.” I suppressed a knowing smile as Sungmin raised an eyebrow at me.

I opened the front door and called out, “Daad! Dad, I’m home and I brought my friend over...”

“Hold on a bit, Sunny,” said my dad. A minute later, he appeared in front of us in his full ensemble- dress, heels, make up and all.

I glanced at Sungmin and could hardly stifle a grin. His reaction was priceless- his mouth fell open and he turned toward me then back to my dad then back to me again. “Uh...um...h-hi....aunti- I mean...uncle...?” he stuttered with uncertainty.

My dad laughed, tossing his long black tresses back dramatically and said, “Save it- just call me Jaehwa. You’ll have to excuse my appearance- I just got back from work and haven’t had the chance to change out of my work clothes. Well aren’t you a handsome young man- you must be Lee Sungmin. I’ve heard all about you from my Sunny-dear.”

Shock was written all over Sungmin’s face and he glanced back at me once more. I simply gave him an encouraging smile and he finally broke out into relieved laughter. “It’s very nice to meet you, Jaehwa,” he said, bowing courteously and extending his hand.

My dad grasped Sungmin’s hand firmly and pulled him in close, clapping Sungmin warmly on the back. “Lighten up, kid- I’m just a tranny* manager of a gay bar. I’d like to think I’m pretty liberal in this conservative society. You’re a good kid though- why don’t you come in?”

Dad really went all out with this meal, I thought as we sat down at the table that was laden with steaming plates of food. Usually, I make myself dinner and set some aside for my dad when he gets back from work- but this time, he insisted that I touch nothing and that he was to be completely in charge of dinner tonight.

“Dad, with your skills, you should have gone to culinary school,” I remarked conversationally, popping a piece of chicken in my mouth.

“Sunny, you know how that turned out- my parents forced me into business school, hoping I’d become a hotshot CEO with a ton of money. How were they supposed to know that that would be the least of their problems, eh?” He smirked, sending me into giggles and even Sungmin cracked a smile.

As we ate, my heart swelled with happiness- my dad was doing a fantastic job with making Sungmin feel comfortable and they were getting along so well.

“So Sungmin...Sunny tells me that you’ve been through a lot these years in high school?” my dad asked. Sungmin nodded. “If you don’t mind me asking...have you come out to your parents yet?”

Sungmin hesitated a moment and then replied, “Actually...my parents are currently in China, doing business. They have not returned in the last two years to see me- I live with my grandfather. My parents aren’t aware of my uality, but my grandfather is- in fact, he is one of few people who have stood by me and supported me continuously. I...I’m very grateful for him...but I’m not quite sure when I’ll come out to my parents...if they’ll ever return to Korea to see me, that is.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but my dad beat me to it. “I see...well, you’re very lucky to have a grandfather like that, Sungmin. It’s not easy being biual, especially here in Korea. It’s hard work just getting by everyday, isn’t it?” Reluctantly, Sungmin’s eyes met my dad’s and he nodded in agreement. “Trust me, it gets better. And you’ll know the right time to tell your parents.”

Sungmin swallowed hard and I noted that his eyes looked misty. “Yeah...thank you...thank you so much, Jaehwa...I’ll keep that in mind...”

After dinner, I helped my dad wash the dishes- when I finished and went to look for Sungmin, he was nowhere to be seen. I checked the bathroom and was about to go back into the living room when I stumbled into him leaning in the doorframe of the study room.

“Oh...Sungmin, what are you doing in the study...?” I asked.

“S-Sorry!” he apologized. “I-I was a little bored and kind of curious so I looked around for a bit and found this room...it was rude of me...but...these...” He looked around the room and stared back at me in awe. “...these are amazing.”

I blushed. The study room was cluttered with scissors, pieces of fabric and assorted sewing kits while lace and yarn were strewn all over the floor- as feminine as my dad is, he’s not exactly strict with me when it comes to keeping the study room clean. All around the room hung dresses, outfits and ensembles I had designed over the years.

“Sunny...I never knew you were a fashion designer...you’re really good...these look fantastic...” Sungmin complimented me once more.

I sighed. “Fashion designing...is a hobby that I keep to myself, mostly.”

“Someone with your skill could really make it big in the fashion world, though,” Sungmin said. “Have you at least gone to, like, competitions?”

“I used to, back when I was little. After my mom died though...I stopped and, since then, have only created dresses in my own spare time. I haven’t competed since.” A heavy silence passed between us.

“Right...um...sorry...” Sungmin mumbled, his face crimson with embarrassment. A thought passed through my head that I couldn’t explain- it had something to do with how...cute he looked when he was this awkward.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said quickly, leading him back to the living room. “Want to play a few rounds of ‘Big Time Loser**?’” My dad joined us with a tray of tea, got out some playing cards and handed them to me.

There was a mischievous glint in Sungmin’s eyes. “I’ve got to warn you- I play pretty mean hands.”

“Challenge accepted,” I replied with a smirk, shuffling the cards with quick precision.

A few heated games of “Big Time Loser” and several cups of tea later, I was in the bathroom relieving my bladder. Just as I was about to flush the toilet, I heard Sungmin’s voice through the bathroom wall say: “...you know, Jaehwa...I really...really owe a lot to your daughter. She reached out to me when I least expected it, and for that, I am seriously grateful.”

“So...you’re saying that Sunny is important to you...” my dad affirmed.

“Yes. Very.”

“...I see. Well, the same thing holds true for Sunny as well, you know?”

“Really?”

“Mhm. She talks about you everyday,” my dad said. I shut my eyes in embarrassment, but listened on anyway. “...She doesn’t really say it, but I can hear the pure happiness in her voice...the happiness of finally finding someone who she can count on and trust.”

“Well, I mean, she’s found some girlfriends to hang out with recently and she’s going on a trip with them too...”

“True- and I know some of them are really nice girls. But...I get the feeling that they don’t matter to her nearly as much as you do.” I could feel my face burning up and I silently wished my dad would shut up; but I kept listening, intrigued at the same time. “Tell me, Sungmin- have you always considered yourself into guys?”

There was a pause.

“Sorry...I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything...” my dad said again, attempting to fill the gap of awkward silence.

“No, it’s okay, Jaehwa...I just needed a moment to think. If you put it that way...it’s hard to explain...but I feel like I’m more so the kind of person to...not really regard gender as all that important. I mean, I’m still attracted to guys, but I find girls to be appealing- some of them at least. When it comes down to the one special person I hope to find and spend the rest of my life with...I don’t really think it would matter if they were a guy or a girl.”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding.

“I see. Well...you’re still young, so tread carefully- but I’m sure you’ll find someone who’s close and who’ll make the both of you very happy.”

“Thank you, Jaehwa...”

I swallowed, waited a few moments and then flushed the toilet. I walked back into the living room, smiling so as to disguise the pressing thoughts in my head.

Why...am I so relieved to know that he would consider girls too?

How exactly do I feel about him? Lee Sungmin?

Yuri

I checked my watch and felt myself shift around impatiently. He’s late... I thought. It was a midmorning on a Saturday and the central square was packed with shoppers. He said to meet here...but how am I supposed to find him through this crowd?

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I fished it out and checked the new message I received:

Minho:

Turn around.

I whipped my head around and...okay, I know this sounds horribly cheesy and trust me, I’m not one to be corny and cliché usually..but in a sea of people, his face was the only one I saw.

His eyes caught mine and he winked at me, grinning. I myself could not suppress the huge smile on my face as I waited by the entrance of a store while he approached me with an awkward gait.

“Hey,” he said in that low, soft voice of his. He had gotten a haircut- his hair no longer touched the collar of his plaid shirt and his bangs, which I could just barely resist fluffing, were fashionably swept up to the left.

“Hi,” I said shyly.

“You look pretty today,” he remarked simply. I was wearing a pretty green blouse I had bought the other day and a flowing white skirt. I smiled and muttered a small “Thank you.” He motioned towards the mall and I followed him into the air-conditioned shopping center.

Ever since school ended, we’ve been making time to hangout during summer break- trips to the mall, summer homework sessions and lunch adventures. Ever since that afternoon, when Minho stayed with me outside the gym while I cried into his shoulder, our bond became stronger.

Our bond as friends...or so it seemed to be as friends, until recently.

Lately, I can’t pinpoint what about him makes me so giddy- whether it’s his bright brown eyes, his smile, the way he throws back his head when he laughs, or how he runs his hands through his dark wavy hair when he’s frustrated or embarrassed...I can’t really decide. Which begs the ultimate question: since when did I take such great notice of him?

Whatever, Yuri, I told myself. Just go with the flow. That’s not important right now. What’s important that Minho is treating you to noodles and you need to make sure he makes the right order. I skipped over to his place on line and told him what I wanted.

Piping hot bowls in hand, we sat down at the nearest table and I started devouring the noodles. “You’re eating like a carnivorous predator who hasn’t eaten in days,” Minho commented.

“Shut it, Minho- technically, not having breakfast counts as not having eaten in days,” I retorted back. I loved how easily we could banter back and forth. Minho enjoyed it too- I could see it in the grin on his face.

We continued conversations this way until we both had finished our lunches. As I was about to suggest we go visit another store, a thought crossed my mind. “Hey...Minho?”

“Hmm?” he muttered, slurping on his soda.

“I’ve always wondered about this...but...remember your first week at Baeyoung, when you first transferred?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Remember when I first met you and everything?”

He set his soda down and I could see him blushing. “Yeah?”

“Um... I don’t know if it was intentional or not...but...you used to stare at me...like all the time. I’m just curious if there was a reason behind it...?”

His face turned from light pink to dark crimson. “Oh...you, you noticed...?”

“Yeaaahhhh, I noticed- it’s why you kind of weirded me out at first...I mean I’m used to your strangeness now...” I giggled as Minho shot me an indignant look. “but...yeah...is there any reason why...?”

Minho shifted uncomfortably in his seat and he grimaced. There was a sad, faraway look in his eyes. Finally, he glanced up at me and murmured, “...it’s kind of stupid, really...can you promise me you won’t laugh?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why would I though...?”

“Just promise me anyway.” I acquiesced and he said, “Okay...on my first day at Baeyoung...when I first saw you from the back...I...I thought you were my sister.”

A silence passed between us. I snuck a glimpse at Minho; he seemed sad and serious. I remembered hearing vaguely before that Minho had dysfunctional family problems; I couldn’t recall whether it was a rumor or if he had mentioned it himself. When he spoke, there was a simple melancholy that echoed in his voice.

“...I couldn’t believe my eyes. I needed to make sure...and, well, you know I’m not that good with being social and everything. You look kind of like her, with long, jet black hair and you’re both about the same height as she is. Some of your facial features are the same, too.”

I felt an inexplicable sense of disappointment. “Oh...am I...really that much like your sister?”

“Well you’re both also tough and don’t let people push you around...but the similarities stop there. You’re loud, impulsive and act before you think. You jump to conclusions way too fast and you swear like a sailor.” My mouth fell open and I glared at him, offended. Before I could say anything though, he quickly added, “But you’re also really honest- you never hesitate to say what’s on your mind. You’re fiercely loyal to your friends, you’ve got an amazing sense of humor and...I really like that about you. I like you for who you are, Yuri. Now that I think about it, you’re really not much like my sister at all. And, I’ve realized that it’s a little ridiculous to think I could find my sister in a high school, never mind my own class, since she’s supposed to be nineteen now...”

He swallowed hard, and the sadness in his eyes pierced me in my heart. “I just...haven’t seen my sister in a really long time.”

“...did she pass away?” I asked softly.

It was a long time before he answered. “No. She’s just missing. She’s been missing for the last three years. Before she left...she was my best friend. Our parents aren’t home often and they’re pretty strict. She cared for me and watched over me. But...when she went to high school...she changed drastically. She started cutting class, doing drugs, hanging out with creeps...the last thing I heard about her before she disappeared was that she was pregnant. She...left before my parents could disown her. She left without thinking of me, without saying goodbye.”

I in a breath. Minho seemed in a distant place, far away, immersed in memories of hurt and heartbreak. “I...I’m sorry...Minho...” I whispered, feeling awkward and unintentionally insincere. What else could I have said?

“It’s okay, Yuri,” he said, though he sure as hell didn't sound okay. “I...I live everyday with the hope that I’ll see her again. That I’ll be able to ask her why she left me and if she still loved me. It’s what’s kept me going for a while...but maybe...it’s time I moved on...”

For a few moments, I mulled over what to say to him. “Minho...I don’t think I could ever relate...but...if there’s something helpful I could tell you...it’s to never give up on family. They make mistakes just like you, they screw up and disappoint you...but they’re still family. You still have to have faith in them, no matter what...cause you were meant to stick with them...”

I fell silent; my train of thought ended there. “And...yeah...family....sticking together...”

Minho suddenly started snickering. “You’re not really good with inspirational speeches, are you, Kwon Yuri?”

“Shut up, Choi Minho, I’m trying my best to make you feel better- don’t you dare make fun of me!” I snarled. Still, he kept on laughing, and my heart felt lighter.

We finally left the mall at around 5:00 PM after seeing a movie. Minho accompanied all the way back home.

As I approached my apartment, I turned to Minho and said, “We need to do this way more often.”

He grinned and said, “Definitely- but you’re going on that trip tomorrow with your girlfriends, right?”

“Yeah- I’ll be gone for like...a week, I think?” He nodded with interest. Looking at him, I couldn’t help but smile brightly at him and say, “Minho...I’m so glad you’re here for me. I haven’t had this much fun in so long. I...I’m so happy you’re my best friend.”

I expected him to smile and say that it was nothing much...but when I glanced at him, his expression was strange: his mouth was open, as if he wanted to say something, but no words came out. His arm raised, slowly, ever so slowly, until his hand was almost touching my cheek.

“Yuri...” Minho said quietly. “I...I’m happy too...but I...” His fingertips brushed my skin and I could hardly fight off a shudder. My heart pounding, I fought to look away from his eyes- but finally, I surrendered and saw that his face was completely red and he was staring at me, more intensely than before.

A fear suddenly rose within me. “Um...Minho...?” I said, edging away from him. He seemed to snap out of a trance.

“Oh, ! Sorry, about that...kind of zoned out there, didn’t I, haha?” he chuckled nervously. “I’ve got to go now- see you, Yuri! Have fun on your trip!” He waved quickly to me and ran off.

Now I was the one in the trance- my heart figured it out faster than my brain processed it.

He wanted to say that he liked you.

“Oh God, what the , no!” I yelled to myself. Quickly, I rushed inside, ran all the way to my room and collapsed into my bed.

No...it can’t be...he’s my best friend...we’re friends...we’re just friends...right? Right?? What...what changed??

Somewhere, deep down inside, I felt I knew the answer. 

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tranny* = slang for transvestite, if anyone was curious. 

Big Time Loser**= a card game that's very popular in China and Japan. There are different variations but the basic objective of the game remains to get rid of your entire hand first. 

A/N: HEYYYY EVERYONE.

yeah. 

Cee-Cee. is back.

so much for updating frequently. but then again, i am trying to take writing slowly/a little more seriously <-- lame excuse is lame but yeah.

things have also come up in my life which i've had to deal with- but if there's one thing that really driven me, it's finishing this story. there's still so much to get to, but this chapter is a start!

hope you guys like it~

c: