Author's note: wow. i really at updating. but hey at least it only took 2+ weeks to do it again instead of another whole 7 months. ideally, i'd love to finish this before i go to college. is it going to happen? probably not. but hey, a (ty) author can dream, can't she?

Yoona

For the first time in ten years I was completely unexcited to go back to school after summer break. The prospect of learning and settling back into my old, familiar habits of studying after weeks of frivolity was not enough to raise my spirits. History was made- at the expense of my happiness.

Jessica told me later that she had confronted Taecyeon a few days after the party and, as it turned out, Jea had tipped him off that I was “interested” in him. The rest had, as Jessica said, “worked out pretty much on its own.”

To be honest, I didn’t blame Jessica-unnie for what happened. Her efforts were genuine and it was clear she had no idea something like Taecyeon trying to feel me up in front of Donghae would happen. I even felt bad when she kept on apologizing to me as her driver drove us back to her house.

Still, I didn’t talk to her, and went home without a word. I stayed up the whole night crying.

The morning after, I had collapsed on the couch from exhaustion, both from crying and lack of sleep. I was dozing off when the phone rang. I answered on the sixth ring, uttered a hoarse “Hello” and nearly fell off the couch when I heard Donghae’s voice over the phone.

“Yoona? Is that you? You sound awful.”

“Eh, I’m okay. I just have a stuffy nose.”

“Okay. Listen…are you okay? I barely got to talk to you before you left last night…”

“I…um…I’m okay.” I involuntarily sniffled.

“You don’t sound that okay. Yoona, I uh…I just called to make sure that you weren’t hurt or anything. Yesterday, you looked so scared and afraid-…”

Something inside me broke from hearing the kindness in his voice. My inhibition disappeared and my emotions rushed out. “Donghae…I didn’t hook up with Taecyeon. Honest. He came onto me. I didn’t know what to do and just…oh my god I feel so terrible right now…I feel like I…I let you down…”

The tears came again. Why did he seem to care about me so much…yet still I wasn’t his number one? And still I loved him so dearly?

“Shh, Yoona…I know that. I know you better. In fact…it’s kind of my fault I didn’t stay by you the whole time. I meant to…and I should have. I really, really should have.” There was a moment of silence over the phone. I felt my heartbeat become erratic.

“You definitely didn’t let me down, so it’s okay, Yoona. If it makes you feel any better, I gave Taecyeon a good punch in the chest and serious talking to before I left.”

I felt better yet my heart ached all at the same time. Love was such a mysterious chemical. We talked for a good half hour until I heard my parents call me for lunch.

That was the last time we really spoke to each other; Donghae has been distant ever since. Once school started again, soccer season reached its heights and he was at practice every day.

Even when we did occasionally cross paths during the day, he only had time for a passing “hi” and “bye.” The one time we did have time for a casual conversation, Donghae seemed distracted and wouldn’t  quite look me in the eye. Near the end, all talking ceased and he just stared curiously at me for a few seconds, before abruptly announcing that he had to get to class. All this did nothing to ease the heaviness in my heart.

When I told the girls at the lunch table, they couldn’t really explain his actions either. Tiffany suggested hopefully that this meant he was starting to second guess his relationship with me. Taeyeon supported her statement by pointing out that she had seen Donghae and Sunye spending less and less time together. However, Yuri pointed out that that wasn’t enough evidence and Hyoyeon believed Donghae might just be really stressed out.

While the girls discussed, pondered and argued with each other, I stared into my textbook, hoping that the words of academia would distract me. For the first time, it did not. I sighed, gave up and quietly ate my lunch.

“Yeahhhh, girlie! That’s how it’s done!” Amber complimented me, bobbing her head to the music. I blushed, but continued through my routine. Up until I tried out for the Hip Hop Girls last semester, I had forgotten how fun dancing could be. I relished the way such physical exercise could take my mind off my troubles, if only for a brief moment.

Keeping in rhythm with the music, I strode over to the middle of the room and started popping and locking. My body responded to my every command and I lost myself in the echo of the booming bass and my own exhilaration.

When the music finally reached a lull, I simply rocked my shoulders to the beat and looked up. I couldn’t help but grin with pride knowing that I had elicited a tiny bit of awe in even Hyoyeon’s face. I glanced into the wall mirrors…and my eyes widened as I finally noticed what my friends were staring at.

Donghae was standing by the doorway, his own mouth open in shock. I whirled around to face him, disbelief still clouding my head. We both stared at each other, neither of us saying a word.

“….Hi…Donghae…sunbaenim…” Yuri uttered, breaking the silence.

“Hello, Yuri-ssi,” he responded, still keeping his eyes on me. “Yoona…that was amazing…I…uh…can I talk to you outside for a bit?” Donghae glanced at Hyoyeon hopefully; she gave him a nod of approval. He stepped outside and I followed him.

“What is it, Donghae?” I asked. At the same time, I couldn’t help but take in just how…handsome Donghae had grown. Donghae had always been attractive, and of course, I appreciated his personality above all else…but just looking at the serene, smooth features of his face made my heart melt. His eyes sparkled with warmth and kindness, successfully hiding a not so warm and kind childhood.

He had gotten a haircut over the summer. At first, I was dismayed seeing as I had always secretly loved the way his wavy locks had framed his face, but after seeing it up close, I admitted to myself that the swept up look really suited him. Soccer had also really helped to tone his body shape and the anatomy enthusiast inside me always admired how lean yet muscular he was.

“Um…well…I wasn’t sure where to find you at first. My soccer buddies are all idiots so they weren’t any help, so I went to find Sica. But I couldn’t find her, so I went to Taeyeon instead and she told me you were practicing in the spare dance room, which I never knew existed until now…” Donghae noticed my stare and caught himself rambling. “Anyway…I just came here to ask you…want to go get food next Friday evening?”

My mouth fell open. Was this actually happening? “Really? Are you sure?”

Donghae rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, “No Yoona, I dragged you out of dance practice just to lie to you.” I wrinkled my nose at him and he laughed. “No but really...I feel like we haven’t really hung out much…and Sunye’s been really distant lately.”

Second best was better than nothing at all. I took him up on his offer immediately.

“By the way, you didn’t tell me you were taking up dance again,” Donghae remarked.

“Oh…yeah I am…we’re, uh, actually going to be competing in the competition. You know, the one they talked about on the announcements last week?”

“Oh, word? That’s awesome…good luck, Yoona. I gotta go to practice now, but…I gotta say, you’re a really good dancer. It was really…um…I don’t really know any other word for it than y…” he said, grinning sheepishly.

I blushed, hardly believing what I was hearing. “Thanks…” He gave me a friendly pat on the shoulder and went on his way.

 “Wait, Donghae!” I called out to him. He turned back and I asked, “So...next Friday evening, right?” He nodded in affirmation. “We’re going as friends…right…?” Donghae stopped in his tracks and stared back at me, again, with that curious look in his eyes.

“…Friends. Yeah, friends, I guess…” He trailed off in uncertainty and waved goodbye to me.  I stared at his retreating back, not sure what to make of what just happened.

After dance practice, I headed to my locker where I passed by a stand set up by some members of the glee club. “Flower and card sale! Tell a friend you care about them or impress a significant other! Help us fund for our next competition!”

I ignored their calls to me to spend money and went straight into the locker room. When I spun the combination and swung open the door, something tumbled out of my locker. I bent down and picked it up; it was one of the decorated cards from the glee club stand. I opened it and read the printed contents:

“Regardless of how small you feel, you are still composed of mass, so therefore you matter. At least, you matter the most to me. Signed, an ardent admirer.”

Inside my locker, I found a purple rose- my favorite flower.

 If only my friends saw the deep shade of crimson of my face.

Jessica

On the way to the bathroom, I passed by Yoona. She smiled at me and waved- from the outset, it seemed like our friendship was still intact, despite what had happened at the party a few weeks ago.

I felt terrible and still feel a little guilty. Here I was, just trying to help a friend get the guy she loves and ing Jea had to go and make things worse.

Excuse my French, but just thinking about her pisses me off. She’s done so many horrible things to people and I honestly cannot think of a single good quality about her. Like…what the hell happened to her to compel her to do such awful things? It’s beyond me, really.

It’s also strange to think she’s managed to get away with all of it as well. I’ve passed through high school with a mostly blasé and indifferent attitude..but thinking about how ignorant I’ve been about how truly ed up my school really set my blood to a boil.

How is it that we let such terrible people run and ruin our lives as they please? How do we manage to brush the bullying and tyranny off so easily?

Something had to change. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be the one to start it, but I sure as hell saw the need for change.

These sorts of strange and rebellious thoughts occupied my mind as I got through the rest of the day. And with them came the realization that, despite all the time we’ve spent making out, Jonghyun and I have never had a simple conversation about our feelings.

Sure, sometimes he did things other than try and seduce me all the time, like, actually converse with me about things. And honestly…I liked those rare moments with him more. I liked him as a person a lot more when he wasn’t trying to prove himself the dominant ual animal over me, but when he was more like his kind, nerdy self from back then.

Jonghyun had made his point pretty clear: he was mad at me for treating him like back in the 7^th grade but he still wanted to get together with me. I figured that the best way to keep my sanity was to confront him, apologize and admit how I felt.

My mind was made up. I texted him during lunch: “Meet me by spare dance room at 5:45 PM”

His reply? “Okay babe ;) :*” I rolled my eyes in irritation and secret pleasure.

“Where’s Yuri?” Hyoyeon demanded. We all turned to each other and shrugged. All eight of us were gathered in the spare dance room for our first practice- except Kwon Yuri. Hyoyeon let out a sigh and grumbled, “Damn girl is probably with her boyfriend.”

My eyebrows raised in disbelief. No way, I thought. “Yuri? Boyfriend? Wait, what?” Taeyeon asked.

“Oh yeah,” Hyoyeon said. “Minho asked her out last week and ever since, they’ve been together so much that I’m starting to think that they’re conjoined twins or something.”

“I thought she hated boys,” Sooyoung said, confused.

“Well, apparently not,” Tiffany said, a smile on her face. “Ahh, I’m so happy for her…!”

“She and Minho have been friendly for a while now,” Yoona explained. “This…is a big step for her. So we all need to support her.” She eyed all of us and we nodded in agreement.

“I’ll support her, so long as she doesn’t cut practice to snog Choi Minho,” Hyoyeon said and I couldn’t help but snort.

Just when Hyoyeon grabbed her phone and was about to send her dongsaeng a barrage of angry texts, in walked Yuri herself, still holding onto Minho’s hand. Giggling over some inside joke, Yuri tried to walk into the dance room, but Minho held fast onto her hand. He dragged her close to him and gave her a quick, hard peck on the lips before he finally let her go and left. Yuri spun around and plopped down on the floor, a goofy smile on her face.

Sunny’s mouth hung open. “Did I really just see what I think I saw?”

“Hey Yul, you know there’s this thing called too much PDA?” Sooyoung teased.

Yuri replied primly, “It’s none of your beeswax, Soo.”

Before Sooyoung could retort, Hyoyeon shouted, “GUYS! We’ve gotta get started.” Everyone stopped talking and turned their attention to Hyoyeon standing in the front.

“Okay, folks, we have a LOT to do. First, we’ve got to figure out a practice schedule. Since we’ve got a little over five months until the competition, I was thinking for now, we’d average one to two practices a week and then after college entrance exams, we’d increase it to four days a week to pretty much every day. We also need to think of a group name, collect payment for the competition, figure out our song, choreograph an entire dance to said song and be able to sing along to the song while dancing. Any questions, concerns or objections?”

There was a silence, and then Seohyun tentatively raised her hand. “…Can we actually see what the guidelines and requirements are?”

“Of course. I have all these packets I collected from the main office.” Hyoyeon picked up a stack and handed it to me, indicating for me to pass one along to everyone. As we all read through the packets, Hyoyeon kept talking, striding around with her hands behind her back like a general in an army.

“Also if anyone was wondering, Baeyoung and the other participating arts schools are relaxing our school schedules to give us time to practice, so we have more options when it comes to time management. Now, I’m guessing that weekdays right after school are not really an option for our two resident cheerleaders, yes?”

Taeyeon and I nodded. “I mean..if we absolutely need to practice, I think we could try and work evenings…” Taeyeon offered.

“If you think you can, great…if not, then we’ll just do weekends…”

“Ah, I can’t do some weekends, I have tutoring,” Tiffany interrupted.

“I also have science competitions,” Yoona added. All the girls started talking over each other, trying to figure out how to maneuver around their busy schedules and Hyoyeon was trying to regain control of the meeting.

Finally, Taeyeon stepped in and said in the same loud, firm voice she used at cheerleading practice, “GIRLS. We should at least get some dancing practice in while we’re all still here. So let’s figure out all our schedules later and let Hyoyeon keep talking.” She nodded at the younger girl. “Carry on.”

“Thanks, Taeyeon. Okay…now that we’re doing scheduling later…I don’t know about you guys, but my singing isn’t exactly stellar. I also don’t know how to write or compose songs for . So…is there any of you who can like, take charge of that stuff and figure it out?”

There was a silence. I glanced around; surely, at least one girl here could do something. “Please, guys…” Hyoyeon pleaded. “It doesn’t matter if you’re embarrassed by your talent or if you’ve always kept it a secret- if it can help us, you’ll make yourself proud if we do well in the competition, I guarantee it.”

Seohyun raised her hand again. “I…I play piano…I also might know some people who can provide other back up music. And my teacher has a small recording studio in the downtown area…”

“Perfect! That’s amazing, Seohyun,” exclaimed Hyoyeon. “You can be in charge of music and instrumentals.”

Tiffany said hesitantly, “Um…I write poems a lot…I could help write the song…”

“…I’ve got a few good designs for costumes and stuff…” Sunny offered.

“Brilliant! You guys rock! Okay…anyone here know how to like, sing? Semi-professionally?”

I thought about the singing lessons I used to take back in middle school. I shrugged inwardly. What the hell. “I can help construct the vocals. I used to take singing lessons so…”

Hyoyeon clapped her hands together with glee; this was the happiest I’d ever seen her. “This is awesome- I love you guys. Okay, so now that we’ve got that settled, let’s move on to…”

“Wait but Hyo!” cried Tiffany. “We need to decide on a name! It’s pointless to move on if we don’t even know who we are yet…”

The girls started shouting suggestions; some were okay, some were unusable because of copyrights and some were hilariously strange.

“The Niners!”

“Brown Eyed Girls!”

“Mochi Girls!”

“Spice Girls!”

“They’re already a group, Yuri.”

“I know, but we are pretty spicy.” I couldn’t help but laugh along with everyone.

Finally, Sooyoung said, “Well…how about, uh…Generation of…Girls? No…Girls’ Generation! Because this is our generation and everything…it’s our time to knock everyone out of the park.” All of us looked at each other in contemplation. Some other suggestions were thrown in, but all of us were in silent, mutual agreement: Girls’ Generation was the best one we had…and we were going to be the best there ever was.

As Hyoyeon ran through basic dance steps, I glanced in the mirror and caught a glimpse of Jonghyun, lounging around outside and smirking at me. Heart in my throat, I desperately tried to shut down all thoughts of him…and failed miserably.

When practice was over, I gathered my things and headed out, Jonghyun’s still smirking face coming into view.

Tiffany

Practice was tiring and there were some arguments- but hey, at least we actually learned some dance moves and even decided on a name! Girls’ Generation…I really liked the way it sounds. Sooyoung has always been so clever.

Spending time bickering with the girls was a lot better than watching Stella follow Siwon everywhere anyway.

For the past week, whenever and wherever I saw Siwon, Stella was with him too. Clinging onto his arm, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously, cooing in that sugary, singsong voice of hers about how handsome he looked…it was kind of nauseatingly over the top. It was to the point where I almost thought she was faking it…until one time she kissed him on the cheek and then tried to go for his lips. Thankfully, Siwon had enough tact to dodge her.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to feel at first…and I’m still not sure how I want to feel. All throughout the week, the girls have been continuously coming up to me and asking if I was okay. Sooyoung even told me that she was fairly certain the two weren’t engaged. I’ll be honest, Stella made me uncomfortable and unhappy at times.

But…I am somewhat impressed by the dedication she has for Siwon. I can see a little bit of myself in her. I know it’s odd for me to even claim to admire Stella, but that’s just the way I am; I look on the bright side of things. Plus, I don’t like to admit it, but there were times when I thought to myself: Engagements can be broken off.

I didn’t get the chance to speak Siwon all week- he was busy at home so no chance to phone and Stella was around him all the time at school- but from what I could tell, he at least didn’t feel as strongly about her as she did about him. Which was enough to keep me going for the week.

Finally, the day of our tutoring session rolled around and I practically raced to get to the library; I just couldn’t wait to spend time with Siwon alone. I didn’t even care that learning and numbers was involved,  I just wanted to be with him.

I was there so early that I grabbed a random book of poems and sat there for half an hour, completely absorbed. I didn’t even notice Siwon had come until he had to physically shake me out of my reading trance.

“Tiffany? Tiffany!” I looked up, startled but pleased at the same time and smiled up at him. “We should really get started, especially because college entrance exams are coming up.”

“Ah, of course,” I said, a little disappointed that he dove right back into his professionalism. We fell back into our routine of tutor and pupil. I understood everything he explained to me as usual and felt proud that I got full marks on the last worksheet he assigned to me…but still, I couldn’t help but think of him and Stella Kim. A vision of them together on their wedding day started to distract me.

“Is something the matter?” His deep, tenor voice broke through the haze of my thoughts.

I blinked and flushed pink with embarrassment. “Oh! Um…nothing…really…”

Siwon sighed, yet an amused smile played on his lips. “I’d like to think we’ve spent enough time around each other for me to know when something’s on your mind, Tiffany. Really…is something bothering you?”

I swallowed. Oh boy, I thought. This’ll be awkward. “Well…it’s just that…I wasn’t…aware that you were to be engaged…and…I uh…felt bad that I didn’t congratulate you…”

Siwon stared at me for a few seconds…then burst out laughing. I felt my cheeks burn. After a few more chortles, Siwon managed to compose himself and, looking me straight in the eyes, said, “Look…Stella isn’t my fiancé. She’s not even my girlfriend. She’s just a childhood friend who our parents would like for us to get married, but they’re really not enforcing on it like she wants them to. Stella likes to go around declaring that we’re engaged. I honestly don’t know why she’s even bothered to transfer here. She’s…an okay person…but I really wouldn’t want to be married to her. I’d prefer to choose who I’ll spend the rest of my life with.”

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding. “Oh. Okay. That…that’s good to hear.”

A smirk crossed Siwon’s face- I had never seen him make such a sly expression before. He leaned in close to me and asked, “Were you…jealous?”

My eyes widened. Good Lord, am I that easy to read?!? I thought frantically. “…N-No…No I wasn’t!”

“Are you sure?” The tone in his voice was so intentionally obnoxious yet made my heart flutter. I had never seen this side of him before.

“Yes! I’m just happy you’re not stuck in an engagement you don’t want to be in! That’s all!” I insisted.

“Oh, really?”

“Really, I swear! Siwon…stop looking at me like that!”

The way his eyebrows were furrowed together and the smug smile on his face…it was just ridiculous. It was too much. I burst out into nervous laughter and in a few seconds, Siwon joined in. I felt our knees gently bump against each other.

We glanced at each other, and in that instant, we noticed how close together we were. My pounding heart was all I could hear. Siwon held my gaze for a second longer, then uttered an awkward cough and scooted a few inches away. “Ahem. Um. Anyway. Let’s…let’s continue.”

“Oh. Yeah. Of course.”

We got through the session without other outside distractions- but Siwon was all I could think of. My insides were doing a mariachi dance as I remembered what had just happened and I couldn’t stop smiling.

After we finished, I started packing my things together when Siwon said, “Hey Tiffany…I’ve been thinking about how you like poems and are really good at writing them…so I did a bit of research.” He took out a thin packet from his bag and slid it towards me.

I picked it up and stared curiously at it. “The International College Exchange Program: Scholarship Poetry Competition?”

“It’s this very unique competition a wealthy academic in Australia started last year. There’s an application process and everything…but the main thing it focuses on is the poems that are submitted. Winners will be granted a scholarship to certain institutions all around the world. It’s…very interesting. And I think you have a shot.”

“Oh…gosh, Siwon. That’s flattering of you to say so but…I don’t think my grades are good enough to really be able to win something like this…”

“Not necessarily so. Your only weak subject is math, isn’t it? Your aunt showed me your grades- they’re honestly not that bad. You shouldn’t put yourself down. Plus, they’ll take your college entrance exam into consideration…which is why you REALLY need to do well.”

I glanced up at him; sincerity was all I found in his eyes. “…Siwon…just…I can’t believe you found something like this. For me.”

Siwon smiled and touched his fingertips with mine. “Tutoring you over these months has allowed me to realize how much potential you have, Tiffany. I…truly want to help you towards success.”

My heart melted. It was amazing, really, how close we became. I couldn’t even fathom how I felt. I was freefalling, diving into a pool of happiness. Tears were pooling in my eyes, I was so happy.

Overwhelmed with emotion, I did the most impulsive thing I never would have thought I had the courage to do. I stood up, choked out a “Thanks, Siwon” and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. The shocked look he gave me made me think at first that I had made a mistake. But he simply smiled back at me and told me that it was no problem.

I bid him goodbye and ran out of the library so he couldn’t see me cry with elation.