Kyungsoo skipped dinner that evening, he didn’t go to school the next day, he told his sister that he wasn’t feeling well.

He didn’t even lie, he felt horrible.

Jongin couldn’t have killed his friend, could he? Even if Jongin would ever appear in the mirror again – no matter how often he called him or talked to him, he didn’t appear – he wouldn’t ask him.

Kyungsoo used his free day to search through the internet of the incident 30 years ago.

He thought he would find a lot, but there were just a few entries. Sehun hadn’t been well known, he was always just mentioned as Jongin’s childhood friend and background dancer.

After all he could find out, Sehun had jumped out of the window at his home. He had lived at the 14^th floor.

Obviously Jongin had been there, when Sehun jumped. He read a comment that said:

Look how they are censoring everything, how they delete all the entries about Jongin.
No one dares to question his innocence in this case.
Stop admiring him as your god, he might be a demon.

Kyungsoo gulped. That’s why he could only find so few entries about the case.

Jongin had been accused of murdering his childhood friend, but it had been dropped and the case was closed.

Sehun committed suicide. End of story.

Kyungsoo shivered as he felt a coldness running down his spine.

“Jongin, are you afraid of my questions? Do you think I would hate you, do you think I would think you murdered your childhood friend? Is that why you don’t show up anymore?”, Kyungsoo asked and got up. He walked to the mirror and grabbed the golden frame.

“Jongin!”

He stared into his own face until it suddenly blurred and vanished. A dark haired tall boy was sitting on the floor, his arms wrapped around his legs. When he looked up, his face was covered in tears.

“I’m not happy, I’m not in a better world, not any way close to heaven. And… yes, I-I feared you would abandon me like they all did”, Jongin whispered.

Kyungsoo’s fingers curled against the glass.

“Who abandoned you?”, Kyungsoo asked.

“Everyone. They only were interested in me as the dancer and as a normal person they hated me. I was a murderer for them. But I stopped dancing because of Sehun. I can’t dance without him, we promised to always dance together… and then he… he just jumped”, Jongin whispered.

His voice cracked like scattering glass and his finger tore his brown hair and he whimpered so painfully that Kyungsoo felt like dying because he couldn’t help him.

“But you didn’t kill him”, Kyungsoo whispered. Jongin buried his face between his knees.

“I think I did…”, he cried. Kyungsoo lowered his head, he watched Jongin cry and felt so helpless.

He didn’t judge him or hate him for his deed, he just wanted to comfort him. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about the murder, he just didn’t think that Jongin would have committed such a crime intentionally.

“Today is the day of his death”, Jongin whispered and looked at his own feet.

“Jongin, will you tell me what happened?”, Kyungsoo asked.

Jongin looked up. “I’m not a good person. I will only disappoint you”, he whispered.

“Jongin, I’m not the others, you don’t need to fulfill any expectations... I’m just here to listen”, Kyungsoo said calmly. “Like you did, for the past weeks when I cried in front of your mirror”.

Jongin wiped away his tears and looked up to him. Then he took a shaky breath and nodded. Kyungsoo sat down in front of the mirror and waited for Jongin to begin.

[FLASHBACK]

“Sehun, you called a thousand times… What’s wrong? You know I had dance practice”, Jongin said and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

He grabbed his bag and made his way out of the dance studio. He tried to leave through the back door so that he wouldn’t meet those crazy fans.

“What’s wrong? Oh I don’t know, Jongin. I don’t know! Of course you had practice, little prince. My very great idol”, Sehun shouted.

Jongin stopped. “Sehun, stop. What are you talking about? Did you drink something?”, he asked.

“I really hate you”, Sehun called. Jongin had listened closer this time and he could hear a stronger lisp in his words than usually. Sehun was drunk.

Jongin sighed. “Listen, I’ll be coming to your place now, ok? It’s alright, we’ll just talk about it”, Jongin said and hurried to his car.

He was afraid Sehun could do something stupid and so he drove a little too fast to Sehun’s apartment.

He rang the door bell but no one opened, which increased Jongin’s nervousness. But luckily he had the keys, he unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment.

“Sehun? I’m here. Where are you?”, he called and closed the door.

He walked into the living room and stopped. Sehun was sitting on the sofa, his legs crossed, his eyes pierced through him.

His face didn’t look like he had drunken too much alcohol, now that he was looking around there were no bottles.

“What are you looking for?”, Sehun asked coldly. Jongin flinched. “N-Nothing”, he stuttered.

“So will you now tell me why you hate me?”, Jongin asked. Sehun suddenly got up and grabbed his collar. He pushed him against the wall.

“Of course I will. I waited for it long enough”, Sehun growled. Jongin blinked.

“What?”, he asked confused.

“You didn’t even realize, did you? Blinded by your fame, your fans… oh how they all love you, the great Kim Jongin”, Sehun said and laughed coolly.

“I didn’t ask for it. You know I don’t like that!”, Jongin immediately protested and tried to loosen Sehun’s grip. But Sehun didn’t let go, he just pressed him harder against the wall and got closer.

“You took everything away from me. Everything”, Sehun whispered. Jongin stared at him. “What?”

Sehun’s fists tensed. “The choreography you danced to at the audition was mine, but you didn’t say a word… You just took it and then oh great, you got accepted”, Sehun hissed.

“You said I could use it!”, Jongin defended himself. He was in complete shock. “Why didn’t you say you wanted to use it yourself?”, he asked.

Sehun laughed out. “I said we could dance it together, but you didn’t listen. Like always, you never listened to me. You didn’t hear a single thing I said! I said I like Luhan and the other day you go out with him? Are you serious?”, Sehun shouted. Jongin froze.

“We didn’t go out. We’re just friends, he asked me if I could help him with some dance moves, nothing more. I never intended to date him!”, Jongin said.

“I swear, Sehun. I would never take someone away from you”, he whispered and shook his head. Sehun was so close that their nose tips brushed.

“But you still didn’t listen to me. When I called you because my brother had a car crash and died, you didn’t answer my calls. You were busy with performances. Where have you been when I needed you the most, Jongin? Where?”, Sehun called and tears run down his cheeks.

Jongin felt how hot tears built up in his own eyes as well. “I’m so sorry, Sehun…”, he whispered.

“You were on stage, the place we decided to stand on together. We promised to always dance together. I was ok with being your background dancer, it is really ok as long as we can share the same dream we had when we were five years old! You’ve been my only friend and my best one, but then you took yourself away from me. You pushed me away. Why don’t you answer my calls, why are you never there when I need you? Why don’t you listen to what I say? Why do you stand on the stage alone without me?”, Sehun asked quietly.

Jongin cried and tried to wrap his arms around Sehun. “I’m so sorry”, he repeated over and over again.

“I just wanted to be alone all the time, I didn’t want to hear my parents arguing. I was so selfish, sorry, Sehun. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you”, he sobbed.

Sehun let him go and wrapped his arms around Jongin as well. He slowly walked backwards.

“Can you hear me now? Can you hear my screams, my shouts?”, Sehun whispered. Jongin stopped crying. “W-What?”

Sehun pushed Jongin onto the sofa. Jongin gasped in surprise as he landed on his back.

“You want to be alone, don’t you? You still want to be alone. You don’t want me as well in your life. You just want to be alone”, Sehun said.

“You’re not sorry… Is it a pleasure for you to watch me burn in front of your eyes? Is it better to see someone else suffering, does it ease your own pain?”, he asked.

He pressed Jongin harder into the sofa.

“Does it?”, he asked. Jongin stared at him in shock and shook his head. “I don’t…”, he started.

“Don’t lie”, Sehun cut through.

“But it’s ok now, Jongin”, he suddenly said softly. “It’s alright”, he whispered and let go of his shoulders. He gently through Jongin’s hair.

“I will let you alone now. Goodbye, Jongin”, he whispered. But when Jongin wanted to get up, Sehun pressed him down and leaned over him. His lips barely touched Jongin’s, but enough to confuse Jongin.

Then Sehun quickly got up and stormed towards the window. Jongin lay on the sofa as if he was paralyzed.

When Sehun opened the window, he realized what was going on.

“Sorry, I just did that on purpose”, Sehun whispered and climbed onto the window sill. “No!”, Jongin said and got up. He stormed towards the window.

Sehun smiled. “That’s what I took away from you. Your first kiss. And that I will be the one who didn’t love you like everyone else did. I will be the one who hated you like no one else could, because I’m still your best friend”, Sehun said. Jongin grabbed his arm.

“I still love Luhan”, Sehun whispered. Jongin stared at him.

“Then tell him”, he whispered back.

“I did!”, Sehun said. “And do you know what he said?”

Jongin shook his head. “No, but please come down from the window sill, we are in the 14^th floor”, Jongin said.

“That he likes YOU!”, Sehun shouted. Jongin made a step back. “No… B-But I don’t like him back, I don’t love him. I don’t want him”, Jongin stuttered.

“Who do you want then, Jongin? Who do you love besides yourself?”, he asked.

Jongin opened his mouth and stared at Sehun.

“I just haven’t found the right one…”, Jongin stuttered. Sehun shook his head.

“You only care about dancing, how could you ever love someone besides that?”, Sehun asked.

“I like you”, Jongin said baldly. Sehun laughed.

“No you don’t. You know that, as well as I do. You like me as a friend, but nothing more and it’s good like that”, Sehun said. Jongin looked down. He didn’t know anymore what he could say besides that to make Sehun go away from the window.

“Jongin?”

He looked up and Sehun smiled. “Find yourself someone you love and then you will understand me a little more”, he said.

“NO! Don’t jump, I beg you. I’ll do anything. I will stop dancing. Just don’t jump”, Jongin called. Sehun looked at him, he reached out his hand. But he pushed Jongin back and let himself fall backwards.

“NO”, Jongin shouted. He got up and leaned forward, he tried to catch Sehun’s hand.

“No!”, he shouted and his voice echoed between the skyscrapers.

[FLASHBACK END]

“It’s my fault that he jumped… he jumped because I destroyed his whole life. I didn’t even realize what I did to him, he suffered so much. A lot more than I ever did and it’s my entire fault”, Jongin whispered and buried his head in his hands.

Kyungsoo's heart was beating painfully against his chest. He wasn't jealous of Sehun for kissing Jongin, neither was he mad at him.

And after all, it had really never been Jongin who pushed him out of the window.

“I hope he is happy now. I guess you can only find peace when you die”, Jongin murmured. He got up and turned around.

“But he was right… I don’t love anyone, I feel so cold inside. That’s why I’m inside here…”, Jongin murmured.

“You’re not cold-hearted”, Kyungsoo whispered. Jongin turned around, his dark eyes suddenly sparkled with such intensity that Kyungsoo felt dizzy.

“Come here!”, Kyungsoo demanded, but his voice sounded weakly.

Jongin though turned around and walked towards the glass that separated them. Kyungsoo stepped closer and wrapped his arms around the golden frame, he lay his cheek against the cool glass and closed his eyes.

It was quiet for a while, then he could hear something. Just as the glass didn’t feel as cold as it used to, Kyungsoo realized that it was a heartbeat.

Jongin’s heartbeat. He looked up. “I can feel you”, Kyungsoo whispered amazed. Jongin over his own arms.

“I-I think I felt this as well…”, he murmured. Their eyes met and suddenly Jongin’s brown eyes softened and a slight blush crept over Kyungsoo’s cheeks.

“Can you show me your world? The world behind the glass. Where do you go, when I can’t see you?”, Kyungsoo asked.

Jongin smiled a little. “Maybe... maybe tomorrow ok?”

Kyungsoo nodded. “Ok”.

uagh >____<

please don't kill me because of Sekai or because of  his death T___T

just to make you understand, Sehun and Kai were really just best friends, they never had a relationship or anything,

Sehun truly loved Luhan, but because he got rejected and ontop of that because of Kai, he decided to end it like this...

sorry for the rather short update, I was just very very busy with exams...

Thanks sooo much for your comments, for subscribing and of course for reading after all <3 <3